Chapter 30° Monster
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For Lia, too, the night came to life as the full moon made its way to its highest possible point. She had been looking forward to seeing the full moon at night for the whole week. Despite the foggy morning, the night was absolutely clear and free of clouds. All the stars had gathered around the moon and watched him make his appearance. A glance at the trees made them look like big hands trying to grab you and yet unable to negotiate the distance. But if you looked more closely you could see how many small yellow dots between the branches. Eyes. The eyes of many owls, birds and other animals that celebrated their existence at night. Little fireflies flickered around and bats looked for good places to enjoy the view as well.
And Amelia did the same. She had climbed all the stairs to the astronomy tower, with a blanket and her sketchbook under her arm. She sat on the edge of the tall building and now wanted to enjoy every little detail of the view.
She had been enthusiastic about star signs from an early age. It was something very special that united the whole world. Certain constellations that consisted of so many stars that seemed so small to us and in reality were so unimaginably large. Something that our eyes cannot recognize, but Lia's heart can appreciate. She had already dealt with many constellations and always enjoyed them when she could recognize them in the real sky. Of course, she also knew his connection to the Black family. Amelia thought it was wonderful that the entire black family was named after stars and constellations. This tradition showed something uniform and yet individual. Sirius, Regulus, Andromeda, Narcissa, Bellatrix, Orion. Such special names that had a purpose.
She liked names that told stories that not everyone knew about. So her father always said to Amelia: "Always remember, you are Amelia. Amelia stands for skill and bravery. You always have to be strong. You have to hold on and move on, no matter what. Be brave. Be strong." And even if she was so often on the brink of letting go and giving up her life, she sincerely hoped that she could somehow live up to this name and its meaning. Because she wanted to be brave.
Her memories, thoughts and feelings that took a bigger and bigger run were suddenly interrupted when Amelia saw the marauders running across the courtyard. It had to be them. She could make out a boy with dark long hair and someone else's glasses that reflected the light of the moon. She recognized blonde hair that was moving in the wind and small lines on the fourth body that seemed to glitter that night.
Scars. Remus' scars.
The four were moving fast, but who she thought were James and Peter seemed to be supporting Remus, whose legs were beyond his control. The figures became increasingly difficult to recognize and smaller for Lia, but in the end she still saw them heading in the direction of the shrieking shack.
She had already jumped up to - to what exactly? She wanted to run to them, what they were doing outside the castle at this time and whether they needed any help or not. But she would be far too slow. She had to walk down the entire tower and through the lock to get outside at all. Besides that, Remus didn't want to see her anyway.
Since the two of them saw each other in the garden that morning and he clearly rejected her, Amelia had repeated the situation many times in her mind. And the more she did this, the more her heart ached. Remus wanted distance.
So she sat down again and waited for the marauders to come back. And the minutes passed but there was nothing to be seen. It was dead quiet.
Until there was a loud howl from the courtyard. The howl of an animal. Of a werewolf. Exactly from the direction of the shrieking shack.
Amelia knew exactly how such a howl sounded.
Her uncle was bitten by a werewolf ten years ago. It was an accident caused by his friend, who was a werewolf from birth. He got angry and lost control on the full moon. The friend had bitten her uncle so deeply that he was also infected and was forced to transform himself every month. Since then, Lia had learned everything about werewolves in order to be able to help her uncle. She had helped him secure his cellar and prepared wolfsbane for him to make his transformation a little easier. And she sent him his favorite chocolate to-
Chocolate.
Chocolate.
Remus.
This Morning.
Lia's thoughts rolled over into a different direction and she seemed to get closer and closer to the truth.
Chocolate.
Remus.
Full moon.
Scar.
Bad mood.
Moony.
The further she spun this thought, the more she understood. Understand what she had never considered.
Moony.
The marauders.
Nicknames.
Prongs.
Wormtail.
Padfoot.
James.
Peter.
Sirius.
Whomping willow.
Full moon.
Remus had to be the werewolf.
There was no other way possible. He was missing class once a month, claiming to be sick. He was covered in scars of every shape and size and his nickname was Moony. This morning he was suddenly very rude and seemed shaken up by something.
Remus was a werewolf.
A feeling of compassion ands sadness grew bigger and took over Amelias whole body. She couldn't and didn't want to believe that someone as young and innocent as Remus was forced to carry this burden. He was always so nice and genuine and yet he had to go through so much pain every month.
Amelia could just hope that he would be okay.
oOoOoOo
,,Oh fuck." Sirius cursed as he saw Amelia opening the large dorr into the hospital wing the next morning.
He had just woken up, to the whispering and talking of James and Peter beside him and the light that fled through the curtain that was pulled in front of the window. They all have slept in the hospital wing like they did once every month when Remus was transforming. Madame Pomfrey always insisted on keeping the animagi in the wing the whole night, to heal their injuries and for them to rest peacefully. They never have been interrupted the next mornings, as no-one was up this early and they could leave before anything happened. That was until Amelia found out about them.
She carefully and slowly walked through the entrance and towards the three boys that stood side by side. She didn't really know what to say to them particularly but she sure had to say something.
And as Amelia finally stood in front of them, looking up at three pairs of wide eyes and blank faces, she just said: ,,Hey."
Well, that seemed to just increase the confusion in the room.
,,What are you doing here at this time?" James asked quickly, trying to keep her attention away from Remus' who was laying in a bed in front of them, that was surrounded by curtains.
,,Well- I- I just wanted-" Lia stumbled, not knowing how to explain that she knew about Remus' condition and what they did last night as well as where they were. Taking a deep breath, she took one step back and looked up at the boys again. ,,I wanted to see how you guys are doing and if Remus is ok."
James, Sirius and Peter quickly realized that Amelia seemed to know what they were and what Remus was, however, they still tried to hide it. No-one has found out about their secret by themselves yet, she was the first one.
,,Why would you look for us in the hospital wing?" James asked again.
Sighing deeply, the girl in front of them scanned their bodies and looked for injuries. She could see some little scratches but nothing major. ,,I figured after last night you might be quite hurt."
Peter took a step towards her and his eyes softened. He knew that Amelia had already figured them out. She knew about Remus and how they helped him. He could see it clearly in her eyes. She was a smart girl. And to be honest, Peter thought it was really nice of her to look for them. And to go and see Remus of course. However, he wanted to hear her story. ,,Why would you think that?"
,,Well, I was up the astronomy tower last night to watch the full moon and saw you guys run to the shrieking shack. I heard the howl of a werewolf and the rest I could figure out myself, I guess. Remus was so moody yesterday and the scars took it away. It all makes more sense now." Amelia explained slowly.
Even if the three boys had feared it, the panic was evident on their faces. And it soon dawned on Amelia why. So she quickly added something. ,,I promise I won't say anything. I won't- I won't tell anyone. I promise. I wouldn't-"
,,Amelia?" a quiet voice interrupted her rambling.
It came from behind the curtains and it was just now that Lia looked over to the hidden bed. She pulled the curtains away and looked down at Remus.
He was laying down on the bed, the bottom half of his body covered in white blankets. His back was resting against the headboard of the bed and he prepped himself up further with the hands. His torso was bare, just covered with bandages. However, Lia didn't seem to notice that as she was too focused on his face. There were some new cuts that would turn into scars soon. Dried blood was on his cheek and his lips were curled downwards.
Lia couldn't even think straight as her body rushed towards his bed and she took his hand in hers. ,,Remus, how are you feeling?"
The certainty and compassion in her look send a shock of panic through his body, as Remus looked into her eyes. She knows, he thought. And as he looked up at the rest of the marauders and their shocked faces, he was sure of it. She knows. She knew that he was a werewolf and yet she was sitting right beside him holding his hand. Even after he was so rude to her yesterday. ,,What happened?"
After a moment of silence, where no-one knew what to say, Lia took the chance. ,,I know you're a werewolf, Remus I saw you guys last night when you walked through the courtyard. I was at the astronomy tower. I didn't- I didn't mean to."
Turning around to face the other boys she continued. ,,And my guess is that you guys are animagi. Unregistered, I'd say. That way you stayed with him the whole night with a smaller risk of getting hurt. And it also explains your nicknames for each other. You try to help him as animals. You guys are smart, I have to give you that."
Another silence.
,,No, you are smart." Remus said, laughing sadly. ,,Amelia, I-"
,,I won't tell anyone, Remus, I promise. Not about you being a werewolf and not about James, Peter and Sirius being animagi. I'm not gonna say anything, I promise you." Amelia said urgently, not breaking the eye contact. And she meant it. Every single word.
And Remus believed her. All of them did. They saw how sorry she was. How serious she was. And they heard the honesty in her words.
,,I- thank you." Remus said quietly. ,,I totally understand if you don't want to be around me anymore and want to change partners of course. I would understand." he explained, making everyone look at him with confusion and sadness.
However, Amelia did not understand. ,,Why would I want that?"
,,Why would- Because I'm a monster! I- I am dangerous when I can't control myself. I could hurt you. You should hate me!" he shouted.
,,Remus. How can you say that? You are not a monster. You have no control over this and besides I'm sure you didn't ask for any of this. Not for you to be a werewolf and not for your friends to risk themselves for you. And still you can't change any of this. None of this makes you a monster or anything close to that." Amelia spoke, squeezing his hand tightly.
And then she saw the tear that role down Remus' cheek, coming from his eyes that were now slightly red and watery. She slowly raised her hand and wiped the tear away with her thumb, smiling up softly at him.
He couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe her words. Couldn't believe that she actually said that. And that she meant it. He always had been so scared of people finding out about his condition but right now he felt understood and welcomed. How can someone be this perfect? he thought. How can she be this perfect?
A cough from behind pulled them out of their trance and made them turn around.
It was James who spoke solemly. ,,Thank you, Amelia. Truly. And I'm certain I owe you an apology I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I acted before. I said things that I shouldn't have and I apologize for that. You were right, I acted really prejudiced."
Now her eyes went wide. She didn't expect that. Yet she really appreciated it. ,,It's okay, James. I really appreciate your apology."
,,Wait-" Sirius interrupted, his eyebrows deeply furrowed. He had repeated everything she had said in his head but one thing didn't make sense to him. ,,How did you know that the howl was from a werewolf."
And now that caught everyones attention. It was true. How would she know that it particularly was a werewolf who howled?
And so Lia began to speak again. ,,My uncle was bitten by a werewolf a couple of years ago. It was an accident. And well, since then I've learned a lot about it and tried to help him somehow. We were very young when it happened. That was even before Callum."
That was it. The first time she really said the name out loud in front of them. The first time she really said that name out loud in a long time. And Lia felt like a heavy weight was lifted from her heart. It was nice saying his name again. Hearing the letters from her own lips. Thinking of his beautiful face and remembering the good memories.
Remus was kinda caught off guard by that. He didn't expect her to know another werewolf, but he was thankful for her honesty. She opens up to me further, he thought with a smile, that soon fell again. Still-,,Well, that may be, but-"
,,No but's." Amelia said and surprisingly pulled Remus into a tight hug, making both of them fall onto the bed together.
Remus was once again caught off guard, but soon wrapped her arms around her just as tight and hid his face in her hair. He breathed in her scent and was mesmerized by the quiet sounds of her breathing. He really wanted this. He wanted her.
,,You will never be a monster, Remus. No matter how often you try to convince yourself." she whispered in his ear once again and pressed her cheek into the crook of his neck.
It was silent until another cough appeared from behind. ,,Uhm- who is Callum?"