The voice of the Queen cuts through the trees, and the Time Lord once again takes off running toward it. They come across lying on the ground. The Gallifreyan takes her hand in his, as she demands, "That thing. Explain what it is. What does it want of us?"
"That's what I'm trying to find out. Probably just your planet."
"Great, our planet, so not much then," Sophie grumbles, turning away from the two, only to find a second Elizabeth staring at her.
"Doctor. Step away from her, Doctor. That's not me. That's the creature," the new Queen says
The first Elizabeth glares at her, "How is that possible? She's me. Doctor, she's me!"
The Time Lord looks to Sophie, violently shaking his machine.
"I am indeed me," the second Queen plows on, "A compliment that cannot be extended to yourself."
"Extraordinary. The creature has captured my exact likeness. This is exceptional."
As the back and forth continues, Sophie moves her head between the two. As one speaks, her head goes to that Elizabeth, trying to decide which is real.
"Exceptional? A Queen would call it impertinent."
"A Queen would feel compelled to admire the skill of the execution, before arranging one."
The Doctor smacks his palm against the device, looking distraught, "It's not working."
"One might surmise that the creature would learn quickly to protect itself from any simple means of detection," the first Elizabeth states.
"Clearly you understand the creature better than I. But then, you have the advantage," the second one retorts.
In the air above the four of them, a large vortex appears. "Holy, sh*t," Sophie shouts, jumping back in shock.
The Doctor's eyes widen, "Language!" he states, while forcing both Queen's behind him.
"Shut up, you turniphead."
Rolling his eyes, the Time Lord plows on, "That's a time fissure. A tear in the fabric of reality. Anything could happen."
The vortex expands, and an object flies out, landing at the converse-clad feet of the alien. Cocking an eyebrow, he picks up the dome, "For instance, a fez."
Sophie sits down on the ground, crossing her legs over each other, simply leaning against a tree. Following the fez from the vortex in the sky is a lanky man in a purple, tweed, frock coat.
The man lands flat on his face, Sophie rolling her eyes, mumbling, "There's the other clotpole."
"Oof!" the new figure grunts, forcing himself to stand up.
The Doctor grabs the fez from the ground, placing onto his sticky-uppy hair.
"Who is this man?" one of the Elizabeth's asks the Time Lord.
"That's just what I was wondering," he states, purposefully.
"Oh, that is skinny," the tweed-clad Doctor says, standing up. He turns to the side, measuring the comparison of their waists, "That is proper skinny. I've never seen it from the outside. It's like a special effect." Reaching over, he knocks the fez from the pin-striped Doctor's head, "Oi! Ha! Matchstick man."
"You're not."
"He is," Sophie groans, climbing back to her feet. "What's up, Doc's?"
Choosing to ignore her, both Gallifreyan's reach into their inner pockets, pulling their screwdrivers out. Noticing that the newcomers is larger than his, the pinstripe Doctor smirks. "Compensating."
"For what?"
"Regeneration. It's a lottery."
"Oh, you did not just make me hear that," the girl groans, petulantly covering her ears. Both Doctor's turn their Sonics off, flipping them, before shoving them back into their pockets.
"Oh, he's cool. Isn't he cool? I'm the Doctor and I'm all cool. Oops, I'm wearing sandshoes."
"What are you doing here?" the younger Doctor hisses, "I'm busy."
"Oh, busy. I see. Is that what we're calling it, eh? Eh?"
The older Time Lord places the fez atop his head, spinning to face the Queen's. "Hello, ladies," he bows.
"Don't start."
"Can we please focus?" Sophie grumbles.
Once again, the Gallifreyan ignores her, the bow tie wearing Doctor says, quietly, "Listen, what you get up to in the privacy of your own regeneration is your business."
"One of them is a Zygon."
"What am I? Invisible?" Sophie grumbles, crossing her arms, leaning back against the tree.
"Urgh," the bow tie Doctor blanches, leaning toward the other Doctor, "I'm not judging you."
The vortex over head swirls to life again, and both of the Time Lord's whip a pair of glasses from within their coats. Glancing at each other, they smile, pointing at each other glasses, "Oh, lovely."
"Great. They're finally getting along. Who knew all it took were a couple pairs of glasses. Is this how all of life ends? The Doctor flirting with theirself."
"Your Majesties," the tweed-clad Doctor says, turning around, "Probably a good time to run."
"But what about the creature?" they ask in synch.
"Elizabeth," converse Doctor starts, "whichever one of you is the real one, turn and run in the opposite direction to the other one." he points his fingers in differing direction.
"Of course, my love," the Queens once again say in synch.
Stepping forward, one of the Elizabeth's grabs the Doctor's face, "Stay alive, my love. I am not done with you yet." She kisses him quick and forcefully, before running off away from them.
"Thanks. Lovely," he grunts.
The second Queen steps forward, grabbing him as well, this time by the lapels of his suit, "I understand. Live for me, my darling. We shall be together again." She also kisses him forcefully, turning to run in the direction opposite the previous Elizabeth.
"Well, won't that be nice?"
"One of those was a Zygon," bow tie says, leaning toward the younger Doctor.
"Yeah."
"Big red rubbery thing covered in suckers."
"Yeah."
"Venom sacs in the tongue."
"Yeah, I'm getting the point, thank you," converse Doctor grumbles.
"Could we possibly get back on track!" Sophie clamors.
"Huh?" Bow tie Doctor questions, spinning around. "Lyn? When did you get here?"
She throws her arms into the air in annoyance. Quickly rolling her eyes. "The whole time, Doc. The whole time. Thanks for finally noticing."
He grabs her hand, pulling her into a half hug, kissing her hair. The other Doctor wraps his arm around her shoulder, also kissing her hair. Through the vortex, a familiar voice calls, "Doctor, is that you?"
"Ah, hello, Clara," he calls, clapping his hands, "Can you hear me?"
"Yeah, it's me. We can hear you. Where are you?"
"Where are we?" the older Time Lord asks.
"England, 1562," converse Doctor replies.
"Who are you talking to?" Clara calls, sounding confused.
"Myself," both Doctor's say.
"And me. I'm here too," Sophie pipes up.
"Can you come back through?" A voice Sophie doesn't recognize calls.
"Physical passage may not be possible in both directions."
Sophie grabs the fez from the Time Lord's head, tossing it into the vortex, "Fez incoming," she calls.
"Nothing here," Clara's voice retorts.
"So where did it go?" Pin-striped Doctor wonders aloud, glancing at his two compatriots.
"Who's he talking to?" A loud whisper of Clara's voice filters through.
"He said himself," the unfamiliar voice responds, "Keep him talking."
The Doctor's choose to ignore the voices through the vortex, the younger one turning to his older self, "Okay, you used to be me, you've done all this before. What happens next?"
"I don't remember," bow tie retorts.
"How can you forget this?"
"Hey, hang on," the older Time Lord grumbles, "It's not my fault. You're obviously not paying enough attention." Reaching into his jacket, he pulls his sonic screwdriver, the younger Doctor following suit. "Reverse the polarity!"
Both Time Lords aim their screwdrivers at the sky, ultimately doing nothing.From behind them, Sophie smiles, clapping. Sarcastically, she says, "Great job, Doc's. I hope you realize that since you're both reversing it, ultimately you're doing nothing."
"No," Converse replies, tucking his sonic back into his suit, "We were confusing the polarity."
From behind them both, a new figure drops through the fissure. The new being wears a leather jacket, as well as a pink scarf. Sophie smiles, waving immediately to the new Doctor.
"Anyone lose a fez?" he asks, holding the red dome out.
Sophie leaps forward, grabbing the hat from his hands. "That would be mine. Thanks, Doc."
Both converse and bow tie look at their friend incredulously. Turning from her, they glare at the newcomer. "You," the pinstriped Doctor growls, "How can you be here? More to the point, why are you here?"
"Good afternoon. I'm looking for the Doctor," the War Doctor declares.
"Well, you've certainly come to the right place," pinstripe snipes.
"Good. Right. Well, who are you boys? Oh, of course. Are you his companions?"
Sophie snorts, but covers it up as a cough as the three Doctor's to to look at her.
"His companions?" pinstripes reels.
"They get younger all the time," the War Doctor chuckles, "Well, if you could point me in the general direction of the Doctor?"
The pinstripe Doctor raises his screwdriver, the Tweed Doctor immediately following suit.
"Really?" he groans.
"Yep," Sophie smiles.
"You're me? Both of you?"
"Yep," converse says, sounding annoyed.
"Even that one?" he points to the bow tie Doctor.
"Yes!" he protests.
"You're my future selves?" he sounds incredulous.
"Yes!" the two Doctor's forcefully state.
"Am I having a midlife crisis?" he groans. Sophie laughs at that, not even trying to hide it.
The older Doctor's pull their Sonics out, aiming them at the Warrior. Sophie rolls her eyes, reaching into converse Doctor's pocket, grabbing his bag of Jelly Babies.
"Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols. Look like you've seen a ghost."
"Still," spikey hair tips his head toward floppy hair, while putting his screwdriver away, "loving the posh gravelly thing. It's very convincing."
"Brave words, Dick van Dyke."
Converse, looking insulted, goes to respond, but a large troop of soldiers rush up to the group, lead by a nobleman.