~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Another incorrect quote brought to you by me)
Alex: I mean it's crazy
Justine: What?
Alex: We finish each other's
Justine: Sandwiches!
Alex: That's what I was gonna say!
DeStorm:
DeStorm: You know he really wanted to kill her, right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MatPat: I know you snuck out last night, Roi.
JC: Play dumb!
Roi: Who's Roi?
JC: NOT THAT DUMB!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oli: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Tim: Tubular AF!
Glozell: Mood to the max!
Eva, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Matt, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robot Bride: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
Devourer: Have everyone stand.
Sampson: Bring three more chairs!
Dorian: The most important ones can sit down.
The Sorceress: Kill three.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Justine: Ro, I'm sad.
Ro: Holds out arms for a hug It’s going to be okay.
Alex: DeStorm, I'm sad.
DeStorm, nodding: mood.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nikita: Favorite horror movie?
Manny: It
Teala: Saw
Safiya: Annabelle
MatPat: High School Musical. After watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Matt: Here's some advice
Sierra: I didn't ask for any
Matt: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ro: I’m dating DeStorm.
Colleen: I always knew your standards were low, but not that low.
~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jesse, using a knife to unscrew a screw: You know, they say use a Philips head screwdriver, but they also say you should pay attention in your social studies class. But that didn’t happen! Now I don’t know where New Mexico is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eva, to Matt: This is my friend, LeLe.
LeLe: Nice to meet you, Matt.
Matt: You too, sweetheart, you’re so pretty!
Matt, whispering to Eva: She’s your girlfriend?
Eva: No.
Matt: Good. You can do better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joey, way overreacting: Here I am! Walking around big city! All alone! I sure hope no monster comes out and attacks me! That would be the last thing I want!
Colleen, popping out of her hiding spot: What are you doing?
Joey: You wanted me to be bait. I’m bait!
Colleen: That’s not how bait talks.
Joey: How do you know how bait talks?
Colleen: I know bait doesn’t talk back.
Manny, Nikita, and Teala, popping out of their hiding spots: OOOOoooooooo!
Manny: Oh no you didn’t!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glozell: Joey is a homicidal maniac. And you’re not.
Justine: Oh, we don’t know that yet. I’m still young!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Manny: rings doorbell
Nikita, from inside: I HAVE A GUN!
Manny: sighs No, Nikita, it’s Manny!
Nikita, opening the door: cheerfully Hello, Manny!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ro: It feels like a dream, you know?
Justine: You’re a dream.
Ro:
J
ustine: Send nudes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tim, sliding a drink across the counter on a slow day: I call this… “the Tim Special.”
Tim: It’s every. Single. Drink in the restaurant. Including coffee creamers.
Oli:
Oli: hazards a sip and immediately starts gagging
Tim: What do you think?
Oli: I think we really need some customers…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alex: Do I look fat?
Ro and DeStorm: No.
Alex: Okay, I accept that. When Justine asked me and I said “No” she took that to mean I was calling her a cow.
DeStorm: Okay, walk us through it.
Alex: Well, Justine said “Do I look fat today?” and I looked at her-
Ro: Woah! Woah! You looked at her? You never look. You just answer. It’s like a reflex. “Do I look fat?” NO! “Is she prettier than I am?” NO! “Does size matter?”
DeStorm: NO!
Ro: And it works both ways.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Sorceress: Don’t play around with knives.
The Sorceress: Unless you’re recording it on YouTube for, like, thousands of views. In that case…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Safiya, tied up, listening to Willie talk for a long time: Is this the torture? Because you’re boring me to death.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colleen, singing to children: My grandpa has a nose and my grandma has a nose, everyone you know has a nose, nose, nose!
Nikita: My grandfather’s nose was blown off in the war so that song is a filthy lie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tyler: Is that cheese?
Andrea Russett, holding a big block of cheese: Thirty pounds! It’s for my camping trip.
Tyler: Cool. Who else is going?
Andrea Russett: Me, Lauren, these two girls we met at the junkyard, and Lauren’s grandmother.
Tyler: Why are you taking Lauren’s grandmother?
Andrea Russett: In case there’s bears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arthur: Who wants to have a sleepover at my house?
The Ring Master, immediately standing up and raising his hand: I do.
Everyone else: staring at The Ring Master questionably
The Ring Master: Oh, come on! You guys don’t wanna see where this lunatic lives?!
Arthur:
The Ring Master, eyeing Arthur up and down: No offense.
Arthur: It’s alright, Ring Master. I savor your bitterness like a sweet, rancid cream sauce.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shane: When I die, please give Eva my regards.
LeLe: What should I tell her?
Shane: Regards.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MatPat, roleplaying with Manny: *Eats every bit of pork from your pork and beans, transforming it into Beans.*
Manny: *Kisses you on the mouth.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alex, to Bretman, Colleen and DeStorm: Are you making fun of me? It’s ok if you are, I’d just like to know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ro: Did you wash the dishes?
Safiya: I thought… you.. wanted to.. do.. that…
Ro: chuckles wickedly
Ro, with a cheerful tone: You were wrong!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Justine: Do you think fire places are romantic?
Alex: I guess.....
Justine: You guessed correctly. Turns on a crackling fire place on her computer and pretends to warm her hands.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Here's another incorrect quote by me. It's from the Friday before Halloween as of writing this)
Matt: Looking at Eva after she finishes handing out COVID screening sheets Who are you supposed to be by the way?
Eva: Removes her mask A plague doctor. You see, back when the Black Death was going around, doctors would wear these and stuff them with erbs, spices, lavender, and whatever smelt nice as it was believed that bad smells attracted the plague.
Matt: I see....
Eva: By the way, I got two "What the fucks" from LeLe and Tim, three "It's an improvements" from Sierra, Shane, Andrea Brookes, and Joey, and a "I don't even know what to say" from Justine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~