He felt more confused than ever before as he caught the bus to Todd's parents' place. He stared out at the traffic and tried to get himself together.
Todd's family had a nice house, with a big living room with French doors that opened out to a huge garden with a swimming pool. It was a great place to rehearse and Eddy could feel the exhilaration simmering inside him still, somewhere deep down, but it was hidden under the veil of sadness, of the feeling like he was letting his mum down way too hard.
He was glad for the rehearsal, though. They had a wedding to play next Saturday, and that would give him something else to think about, apart from the house and leaving his mum behind.
"Hey."
Brett was there the second he knocked, and he yanked him into the house and shut the door. Then, before he knew it, Brett's arms were around him and he pulled him in, holding him tight, his hand in his hair, stroking his neck.
"You okay?"
Oh, Eddy wanted to relax into the hug so much, wanted to let go, wanted to let the tears out that were there, just underneath his eyelids... but he couldn't, not now. Not for Brett's sake, and not for the quartet's sake. He couldn't stop his voice from being hoarse though.
"Yeah. I guess. I'll be okay. Let's make some music, hey?"
Brett narrowed his eyes just a little, but then he nodded.
"Okay. Todd's folks are out, so we have the place to ourselves."
That lifted Eddy's spirits considerably. No pretending, this afternoon. He plastered a smile firmly on his face and stepped into the living room.
Todd's eyes searched his face for just a second before he broke out in one of his giant grins.
"Hello, future house mate."
It was impossible not to grin back when Todd looked like that.
"Hi. So, what are we playing again?"
"What, you mean to say you haven't been practising around the clock for this?"
He would have stuck out his tongue at his great friend, but instead he just rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, because you have, Todd?"
"Of course, of course. It's been at the forefront of every waking hour for me."
Ian gave him a little wave and shook his head at Todd.
"Just sit down, Todd, you're making a fool of yourself."
"Bite me, Ian. What else is new?"
Everyone was laughing as they unpacked their instruments and pulled up some chairs. The little stack of sheet music for the wedding was already on the stands. Todd may have been a jokester, but he always had his shit in order.
Of course, the very top piece was Canon in D. Original.
Oh, well. He shrugged and sat down on the first chair. He used to like Canon in D, when he was a kid and he first played it with some other kids in violin class. But to be honest, by now he was getting thoroughly sick of it.
Although it wasn't as bad for him as it was for Todd, he guessed.
"Let's just make our way through this shit and then jump in the pool, guys. Now that I still live somewhere that has one." Todd said dryly.
Eddy cleared his throat. He knew his voice would be soft and betray his feelings, but he had to ask.
"When are your parents back, Todd?"
"Oh, not until this evening. So you guys can relax for a bit."
Eddy smiled gratefully. Todd had understood straight away what he had meant, and he hadn't made a joke. Todd's eyes were warm, in fact, and he gave him a little wink, before setting his endpin to the right hight. Eddy looked out to the open doors that led to the pool as he tightened his bow and put the shoulder rest more firmly in place. He hadn't been here often, but he didn't think Todd's pool was overlooked by neighbours at all, was it?
Before he could go too far into that particular train of thought Todd interrupted him.
"Oy, Mr. Tuning Fork, give us an A? Let's get through Pachelbels' Dragon first and then on to some actual music?"
He grinned and obediently sung the requested A.