It was the weirdest thing in the world, sliding into the backseat of the Yang family car next to Brett, his mum on his other side. Would she be able to feel the currents that flowed from Brett's thigh to his? Would she be able to sense how lovely it felt to him, to have that warm leg against his own, separated only by their thin dress trousers?
Oh, what he wouldn't give to be able to lean his head on Brett's shoulder, the way that felt so good, so natural. The way he would easily be able to do if Brett were a girl and they had just been a couple for ages.
He grinned suddenly. Even if they had been a straight couple, there was no way his mum would have been okay with what they just did in the restaurant's bathroom, was there? It was exhilarating to sit next to him now, their secret encounter clearly unnoticed by anyone, and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face.
"What's funny?" Brett asked in his ironic voice, saving the moment with his calm, with his poise.
"Oh, I was just thinking about Todd, almost knocking my shoulder off backstage." he lied smoothly. "God, I was so nervous!"
Brett grinned too now. "Yeah. But you'll be a lot better for your second concert. You really do get used to it. Well. Somewhat anyway."
It was dark outside by now, of course, and he stared for a moment at the passing streets. It was like his mum wasn't even there, like it was just the two of them in the back seat, a little world of their own.
"I loved it. I may have been really nervous but it was the best concert ever."
"Even better than the quartet concert in Perth?"
Eddy smiled into the dark.
"Hm. Maybe not."
He could sense Brett's shrug.
"We'll do lots of concerts together. You can decide your favourite when you're old and grey."
He wished the car would stall, stop, get stuck in a traffic jam or in front of a broken traffic light. He wanted everything and anything but to get home and to have to get out, leaving Brett to go home with his parents. But of course the car drove just fine and there was barely any traffic this late. His street came up before he knew it and his mum was already opening the door, thanking Brett's parents again for driving them home.
"Okay, see you tomorrow." he said, impressively neutrally if he may say so himself, and followed his mum out of the car. "Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Yang."
He sstood on the curb with his mum and he looked back once at the car, speeding away from him, taking Brett with it. He felt empty, now, the high of the concert mostly evaporated. He took a deep breath and walked into their house after his mum.
"Some tea before you go to bed, Eddy?"
His mum was already walking to the kitchen to put on the kettle. And to be honest, some tea sounded nice. Not going to the empty bed yet sounded nice too. His mum gave him a searching look as she filled the kettle and put it on the stove.
"You've looked so happy."
It was four simple words, spoken in a simple, soft tone, but something shifted inside him and suddenly he had to swallow to stop himself from tearing up. He put his hand on his mum's shoulder. He felt like he towered over her now.
"Have I? Making music makes me happy, mum. And I love this orchestra, I love being in a place where everyone wants the same thing."
She nodded, her eyes hooded, and her lips twisted once. Then she smiled at him and turned around to grab the cups and the tea.