It's been a few day since...the incident? I guess you could call it that.
Everything has been going back to normal and the vacation has been fun.
We're going shopping for the mafia ball the day after tomorrow, but today we're going to the main warehouse.
After the conversation that dad and I had, he called the psychologist.
Turns out she is part of their mafia too, dad explained everything to her and the idea to see what she thought about it.
She said that it would depend on each person, that you can't be sure if it will be triggering or if it could help unless you tried it.
Dad than talked about it with my grandparents, uncles and aunts to see what they thought about the idea.
Long story short, we are going today.
Since I found out about the mafia, I've been training on top of working out.
I've been learning how to shoot a gun, throw knifes, fighting and much more.
It's been going well, I'm a pretty fast learner.
I can shoot with a gun and hit my target, same goes for the knife throwing.
The fighting has been a little hard, but I'm getting there.
It's been going better and better each day with the training.
It definitely helped, learning all this new stuff like fighting I mean.
It has made me feel more comfortable knowing that if someone would try to hurt me, I can defend myself.
I do want to learn more though, I'm nowhere in reach to taking a grown ass man to the ground yet, but I'm learning and it won't take long I hope.
My hacking courses have also been going well, I can hack in most of the technology already, but I still need to learn how to hack in really secure places.
The incident from a few days ago with the flashback hasn't effected me much.
With all the medication that I've been taking and the recovery plan, it hasn't made a big change or anything.
I was a little scared at first, but knowing that they are probably in those cells made me feel a little better.
Sleeping I do still in fact do with my brothers or dad, we still don't want to risk it and then have a big nightmare or something.
I'm now getting ready to go to the main warehouse, I'm not scared of going there but I'm kind of scared of what is in there.
But knowing that the others will be there, makes a big difference in that.
When I was done getting ready, I went downstairs.
I am just wearing some black jeans with a knitted sweater and some black boots.
I also have my mini back like always , my medication and my jewels.
When I arrived downstairs, the others were already waiting for me.
As soon as I arrived, everyone greeted me and then we headed of in multiple cars.
All the guys were dressed in suits, while the woman just wore some clothes that screamed power and danger.
I walked outside and into the black SUV where I was going to be in with some of my brothers and dad in.
When dad started the car he started to speak too us.
"Val, if you feel uncomfortable at any point or you want to leave, tell us. Make sure one of your brothers, me or anyone from the family is with you at all times. Now since you have been learning how to shoot a gun and throw knifes, I got you a little something. Just like with the others, you get a personal gun and knife, if you ever join the mafia you will get more and other stuff but that is not for now or never if you choose." He said as he reached behind him and gave me a box.
As I opened the box, I was met with a beautiful knife and a gun with extra bullets.
"You don't need to use it, but just to be save and sure. Keep the knife in the waistband of your pants and the gun strapped to your thigh or the other way around." He said while I was admiring the weapons.
Not going to lie, but the training didn't just make me feel more comfortable but also a little powerful I guess.
I love the fact that I can shoot a gun and throw knifes, it makes me feel better I guess.
It also helps in some weird way, it helps dealing with my past.
And how longer I am learning all of these new things and stuff how more of a need I feel to keep doing it.
The urge to maybe even become a part of the mafia is constantly growing.
The idea of being a part of the mafia with my family makes me feel alive for the first time in forever.
"There are also straps in the box to ty the gun or knife too your thigh." dad said before going back to focusing more on the road.
"Thank you" I said as I kept looking at the weapons.
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When we arrived, I still didn't feel any of the anxiety set in which was a good thing I guess.
There were multiple guards guarding their own little part who gave us a nod in recognition and who smiled at me when I gave them a smile back.
Dad was holding his arm around me protectively while we walked inside.
The guards and people inside greeted us the same, giving me smiles while I gave them one back.
A woman came up to Matteo, who instantly jumped seeing her and ran to her while we left to go somewhere else.
We walked trough a few hallways, before coming to a big grey door.
Dad held his hand on the keyboard waiting for it to unlock and then typed a code in.
When the door fully unlocked and we opened the door, I could immediately smell the blood from downstairs.
Dad walked in first with me trailing behind him and then the others.
Let's just hope this goes well.