Dream joined someone's stream tonight and is running a little late, so I'm sitting on the couch waiting for him. We were supposed to watch a movie tonight. I scroll through my phone to pass time.
I hear footsteps walking down the stairs. I glance up as Nick passes even though I know it could only be him. He doesn't say anything as he walks past. He's still in his little mood, and I can't figure out what's wrong.
"You want to watch a movie with us?" I ask, glancing up after I send a text.
"No thanks," he says.
I roll my eyes. He's been doing this for three days. He won't look me in the eyes. He won't answer my texts. He won't have an actual conversation with me.
I don't know what's wrong, and it's seriously getting on my nerves.
"Are you okay, Nick?" I ask him, setting my phone down and getting up to go to the kitchen, "I'm worried."
"Yeah I'm great," he says casually. He opens a bottle of water and takes a sip.
"Okay, you just haven't been hanging out as much, so I wanted to check." I lean on the counter a little, trying not to seem like his response didn't hurt as much as it did.
I've seen him interact with Clay, and he's acting normal. It's me that he is acting weird with.
"Nope, just don't want to hang with you guys that much is all," he says with a shrug.
Okay that one was out of line and hurt a lot.
"Okay, what is your problem?" I say bluntly as I stand up straighter.
"Nothing," he says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"Well, obviously something is up because otherwise you wouldn't be ignoring me or acting like a dick." I say it flatly. I tried to say it with no emotion, but any idiot could see that I was hurt by his actions.
His face flinches at my words. That. That tells me that he doesn't want to hurt me. I've been on calls and talked to him for hours at a time, and I can tell that he doesn't want me to hurt.
"I just... I just.." he pauses for a moment, setting his water down as he's deep in thought. "I don't think I should tell you."
How dare he. He can't just think for a few moments about his answer, then decide he shouldn't tell me. That is just absolute bullshit and it's unfair to those of us in the dark.
"Well, now you have to, Nick. I know it has to do with me because you've been acting normal everywhere else." I lift my hands up a little, "I just want to know what I did to make you so upset."
"No no no," he says quickly, "you didn't upset me at all.. I just.." He sighs. He takes a couple steps back to glance down the hall to Dream's door. "Do you know how long that's going to take?" he points his thumb down the hall.
"We should have time to talk," I nod, even though I don't know when Dream plans on being done. I just want to get to finally talk to him, even if it's not my most favorite conversation still.
He messes with his hair a little. Just that little reaction was enough to make my heart soften a little bit. I wish I could be mad at him for treating me this way, but I know that deep down he means well. If only I knew what that was.
"Can we talk about it in my room? Just for privacy," He gives me a little smile.
Oh. So the thing does have to do with Clay, or at least is something Clay cannot know about.
I nod my head and follow him up to his room. I lean against his bed frame while he carefully shuts the door.
"What's up?" I ask as he turns towards me finally.
"I don't know how to say this," he begins.
I roll my eyes. Hopefully with words.
"Sorry, um," he tries to think of a good explanation, "Well, you know what, I'm just going to come right out and say it, y/n. I tried to hide it, and it got me here soo.."
He pauses for a moment. My heart speeds up a bit. What is he going to tell me? I stay quiet to let him speak.
"Okay, so basically," he starts again, sounding more sure of himself this time, "I like you, y/n. A lot. And I have since the first time I met you."
I can't help but smile. My heart flutters a bit. This whole time I've been freaking out over whether he realized I had feelings but didn't feel the same way back. If only he had told me, then this whole situation could've been avoided.
"Wait," I say as I process his words, "why would you ignore me if you had feelings?"
"That's the thing," he says as he sits down in his chair, "Clay kind of told me... that I can't, uh, date you."
"He said what now?" I spit out, "That you aren't allowed to date me?" I can't believe my ears.
"Basically, yeah." he nods from his desk chair that's facing towards me.
That little shit.
Leave it to Clay to ruin my first potential relationship in years. Leave it to Clay to immediately decline before he even knew my feelings or position on the situation.. He can't meddle in my relationships.
Nick and I are both humans with feelings as well. Feelings for each other.
"Let me get this straight," I say, "you told Clay you have feelings for me, and he basically told you no?"
"I didn't tell him I had feelings. He just kinda said that you were off limits one night,"
Of course he did.
"Wow, how mature of him," I sigh, thinking out loud a little, "What about the feelings I have for you? Did he just not put those into consideration?"
Nick perks up a little from his chair. "Did you just say that you had feelings?"
I smile and nod, "I thought it was pretty obvious."
Now it's his turn to smile, but then it falters. My whole body feels as if it fell through the floor. I know exactly what he's thinking.
"But we can't do anything about it, huh?" I ask softly.
We can't go against Clay's wishes. He specifically said something, so we should follow those rules.
He's both of our best friends, and neither of us could afford to lose him. No matter how much we like each other. We have to respect Clay.
Nick slowly nods. "I guess.. We both know now he would never approve, so what's the point?"
He's right. There's no point if Clay doesn't approve. His approval means almost everything to me. Besides, it would make life a lot harder if my best friends hated my boyfriend. It'll also save us from some awkward conversations.
I give him a half-hearted smile. I decide to grasp onto my one chance of keeping him in my life. "We could be friends?" I say, my voice still soft.
Friends are what we were, and, as much as it pains me to say this, I think it's all we could ever be. We're going to see each other pretty often either way, so it would be pointless and awkward to just ignore each other forever.
I guess it's better than whatever we've been these past couple of days, too.
"Yeah, friends it is." He says with a smile.
I think I'm going to like this new friend a lot.
Maybe more than I should..
.author's note.
thank you guys for 2k!
hope you all have an amazing day :)
.word count.. 1247