Harry POV
"Good rehearsal lad's," Niall called out as we left the stage.
We were performing Where Do Broken Hearts go tomorrow night- a song which I had written during my break up with Jen.
It wasn't your typical break up song with the piano and string section, that you would lay awake listening to at night sobbing in your bed. It was an up tempo anthem, for all those enduring a broken heart, so to speak.
I quite enjoyed performing it, and even though the reasoning behind the song wasn't normally a place in my life I liked to revist, it made me feel good to dance around and belt it out.
The rehearsal distracted me from my inevitable run in with Ashton. I knew I had decided to do this, Jen didn't pressure me into it, but it was still a little nerve racking thinking about talking to him.
I hadn't seen him or the other guy's since being here, I knew they were also performing at the show so they had to be around somewhere.
"Have any of you seen Ashton?" I asked the boys, coping a few looks of confusion off them in return.
"Don't go causing any trouble Harry, we have enough media shit lingering over us as it is," Liam warned me.
We had been a main focus in the media as of late, with a couple of the guys love lives being highlighted more than usual, and Zayn's decision to leave the tour whilst we were in Asia last month.
People already thought we were spiraling out of control, the last thing we needed now was reports that Ashton and I were continuing on with our feud.
"No it's nothing like that, I actually just want to squash the drama with him. I don't need it, and after last night Jen certainly doesn't need it."
"What happened last night?" Niall looked concerned, and I didn't really want to talk about it but I decided to tell them anyway.
"Jen was bleeding, you know.." I gave them a knowing look.
"What?" Niall scrunched his face in confusion.
"Do I really need to spell it out for you Niall?"
"Her vagina Niall," Louis answered for me, and I rolled my eyes.
"Anyway, I took her to the hospital and she had tests done and stuff, everything is fine though. The doctor nailed it down to being stress, because we were fighting before it happened."
"What the f*ck about this time?" I got a deep sigh from Niall, who had been around for a fair share of Jen and I's argument's over the year and a half.
"We saw Luke and Michael out to dinner, somehow it got onto the topic of Jen's sister wanting to sleep with a random guy this weekend, Jen was saying you should give yourself to someone you love, then it turned into her saying she loved Ashton when she slept with him and I took it the wrong way.
Look the point is I need to stop these resentful feelings towards him. I don't want to fight every time Jen mention's him, and last night I realized that you could lose everything in the blink of an eye, so you shouldn't hold grudges that have no importance to your life."
The guy's nodded, telling me my decision was a good one.
"Harry, the shop called and said your bike was ready to be picked up, did you want to do that yourself or do you want me to organize a delivery?" Willow approached me.
She'd joined me today, testing out her new position as my potential assistant.
"Erm, i'll pick it up. The last thing I need is it being delivered while your cousin is at the house without me, then me getting an arse whipping when I get home, about why I still own a motorcycle."
Jen wasn't fond of my bike, she refused to get on it, and hated whenever I told her I had been out riding. She saw it as "death on two wheels", and begged me to get rid of it, but I hadn't.
I loved my bike, especially in LA. It was one of my major purchases during my break up. Whenever i would ride I would feel so free, and so relaxed, it became like my escape from reality. I wasn't ready to give it up yet.
"No worries," she laughed and began to walk off.
"Willow," I called out before she got too far, "Could you find out if Ashton is here please," I asked her, and she nodded before turning back away.
"She's so hot," Niall stared at her as she walked away.
"Not happening Niall, she has a boyfriend for starters, and second- she is my girlfriends cousin, not to mention my assistant. I don't need you screwing around with her, then making shit awkward for me when you toss her aside!" I said very firmly, knowing exactly what dirty thoughts were stirring behind his prying eyes.
"Maybe I could be of some assistance to Sam this weekend, since she want's a bit of fun," he wiggled his eyebrows, and I knew he was trying to get a rise out of me now.
"Be my guest, I'll love to see Calum punch the shit out of you."
The three others had left us now, and we continued our back and forth banter until Willow returned.
"Ashton is backstage, second dressing room on the left, at least I'm pretty sure he's there, I saw Cal and those two guys from dinner last night, then there was another guy who I guess is him."
"Okay thanks, Niall keep her company and don't be an idiot, hopefully this doesn't take long," I left them and mentally prepared myself for this confrontation.
I heard Ashton's laugh fill the corridor, so i definitely knew he was in the room now. I don't even know why I was nervous, it's not like I had really done anything wrong by him, so he couldn't exactly tell me to f*ck off. If anything, he should be the one trying to sort things, not me.
"Harry," Calum was the first to make eye contact with me when I entered the room.
"Hi mate," I hugged him like I usually did.
Even though he and Sam weren't together anymore, I still considered him a close friend, even like a brother really. I had no issues with him, so it was nice to see him again.
"I heard Sammy.. um Sam's in town. Is she coming to the awards?" He almost whispered.
"I'm not getting involved, and I don't know anyway. I think her and Kirstin plan to come to the after party, but that's all I really know."
I wasn't going to tell him Sam had full intention of hooking up with some random stranger, so I stuck to a quick explanation hoping he would leave it at that.
"Kirstin's going to the after party?" Luke questioned me next. He seemed surprised she would be there.
"Yeah, erm anyway...I came here to talk to Ashton," I looked to him, and he was looking at me as if trying to assess the kind of mood I was in.
He didn't say anything, he just stared blankly, waiting for me to continue on.
"Can we talk? Privately," I stared him down right back, and he nodded and followed me out the door to another room without an argument.
"What have I done now Harry? If this is about wanting to know if I've told anyone about Jen being pregnant than the answer is no, I wouldn't do that."
"It's not that, but thank-you, you know, for not saying anything."
"Then what?"
I thought about how to approach this situation for a minute. He was actually being bearable to be around, so it was making it a little easier to make peace with him.
To explain properly why I decided this conversation had to be had, I decided to just explain what happened last night that lead me to this epiphany to forgive and forget.
"Last night we thought we lost the baby, so I took Jen to the hospital," I began.
"What? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?" He seemed genuinely concerned, and I found the whole situation so ironic that the guy I hated, and last person I would ever talk to about this, was the only person outside of my own band that I was talking to about it.
"They're both fine, she was bleeding a little but the doctor said that was caused by stress. Which leads me to why I'm doing what I'm doing right now."
He was watching me quietly, waiting for me to explain, so I took a breath in and started.
"We need to make things right between us, I'm tired of hating you Ashton. We've both said and done shit to each other, and I don't want to do it anymore.
As much as I didn't want to accept it, Jen loved you. It may not have been in the way you wanted, but I always knew she did, and I was threatened by it. I thought those feelings could turn into something more one day and I would lose her.
You were my biggest threat, and I hated whenever she would talk about you. That's what happened last night, she spoke about how she loved you when she slept with you, and it set me off.
I know Jen, and I know her heart. I'm selfish enough to wish I had it all but I don't. She loves you like she loves Angus, and her best friend Mason, but they were never threats to me, you always were.
After last night, I realized there's more important things in life than feuds, and holding grudges. I know she loves me, and I think I finally distinguished the difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone.
I want to bury the hatchet Ashton, I hope that's what you want too."
He took in everything I was saying, he didn't cut me off at all, and I think he felt the same way I did about the whole thing. At least I hoped he did anyway.
"I always knew she was in love with you, I think that's why I envied you so much, and tried to push your buttons.
I never loved her like you did Harry, I think I was just in love with the idea of her.
She's this perfect girl, and she cared about me. That's why I wanted her so badly, because I loved the way she cared and faught to keep our friendship.
When she turned to me that night, I should have stopped her, but I didn't. Like I've told you, I knew she was only doing it to get back at you, but just like you, I was selfish enough to take what she was offering.
I'd like to be friends, and I mean it this time. I don't want to avoid you when I see you, or start fights with you in clubs. I want to be in a place where I can talk to her, and you won't think I'm trying to make a move on her.
I mean you're having a kid together, I would never try and screw that up for you, I hope you know that."
"I do," I nodded.
I felt good having this conversation with him, and I finally felt like we were on the right track to getting our friendship back.
"Friends?" I stuck my hand out to him.
"Mates," he corrected me and ignored my hand, and went in for the hug.
It was nice to put this whole thing to rest, and just have my friend back. Too many months were wasted on fighting with him, and from now on I planned on continuing to be on good terms with him.
"So...what's new with you anyway? Besides you trying to grow your hair like mine," I teased him.
His length actually suited him well, and he'd bulked up quite a bit I could see now that he was in the light, and not in a dark club.
"You like the hair? I wanted a change," he shrugged.
"Yeah it look's good...having much luck with the ladies?"
"Ha, yeah I have a girl..." He blushed a little and looked down at the ground.
"You back with Summer?"
"Nah, Summer was a good chick, I did love her, but it just wasn't working. This girl's name is Bree, she's a model. It's only early days, but it's going well so far so I'm happy."
I expected myself to feel relieved that he had a girlfriend, meaning he wouldn't try anything with Jen, but surprisingly I didn't even feel slightly glad about it, I was just happy that he found someone.
It was in that very moment I knew Ashton was no longer a threat to me, and I had absolutely not reason to worry.
"I'm happy for you Ash, I'm glad you're in a good place. You know I never wished you bad, I did want you to have love, just not with the girl I loved," I chuckled a little, hoping that didn't just trigger an argument.
"Nah that's understandable. If Niall for instance tried to get cozy with Bree, I would feel the same way you felt with me.
But in all honesty, I have no feelings at all towards Jen, besides missing her friendship.
She probably hates me so much for getting into it with her dad, and I'm sure she knows what I said at the club. I apologise for that too, I was having a shit night and I was drunk, I didn't mean any of it.
I just know what pushes your buttons, and I said whatever I knew would get the best reaction out of you, I know she would never leave you for me, and I don't want her to."
"It's fine, it's in the past and if anyone knows what it's like to say a bunch of shit when they're drunk that they shouldn't, it's me!"
I thought back to last year, and getting drunk in that hotel bar then telling those random girls about my break up, only for it to be filmed and aired on YouTube.
"Ha, yeah that wasn't your finest hour. I'm glad people have dropped that whole thing, I haven't seen that video resurface yet.
Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah..." I encouraged him.
"Would it be okay if I spoke to Jen? I understand if you want me to keep my distance and I'll respect that, but I'd like to maybe repair our friendship."
He looked hesitant in asking me, and honestly it surprised me at all that he asked my permission.
The old Ashton wouldn't have given a f*ck what I thought, I respected him for asking, even though he didn't have to since I didn't really have ownership over Jen. She was allowed to be friends with who she wanted.
"No," I responsed sternly, but secretly joking.
"Yeah fair enough," he nodded.
"I'm joking you idiot, of course you can talk to her. Who am I to stop Jen being friends with anyone?
Besides if you really think about it, you're kind of the reason I met Jen, I did see her for the first time with you.
Plus every time I saw her with you it gave me that little extra push to fight to be with her. I suppose I should thank you," I laughed.
"Glad I could help," he laughed along with me.
"Did you want to come over? I mean you don't have to, but she's there and it would be kind of nice to show her we're on good terms now. You can come for a beer or something?" I suggested.
"You really want that?"
"Yeah, I'll invite the others too," I told him, and he seemed to like the idea.
"Okay," he agreed.
...
Jen's POV
"Am I seeing things?" I took a double take as I saw Harry standing along side Ashton and the other three 5Sos boys.
"Guys just give me a minute with her, I'll meet you in there,"
Harry pointed to his theatre room where Angus had spent the entire day, while Gemma and I watched the Kardashian marathon.
"Is Sam here?" Cal asked, and I was extremely relieved that she had decided to go spend the day with Kirstin.
"No she's out," I answered him, he looked a little disappointed but he and the boys disappeared into the room.
"What's going on? Did you sort things with him?" I asked Harry.
"Yeah, we're good now. He misses you Jen, and I'm okay with you two being friends, I know deep down you miss him too. You should talk," he nodded in encouragement, and it's as if my boyfriend had just had a complete personality transplant.
He was maturing in a way which only made me fall in love with him more, and I knew what an incredible father he was going to be.
"Is this really my boyfriend right now? Have you been possessed? You got a fever?" I playfully checked the temperature of his forehead, receiving a laugh.
"Don't tease me, I'm trying to show you I can be mature here. I want to prove I'm done with the insecurities, and I want you to be friends with whomever you want.
I know you're mine, no ones a threat to that," he held me closely, and I couldn't help but smile at how amazing he really was.
"I am yours, I've always been yours! I'm glad you finally realised that. You don't have to prove anything to me, I see how different you are now to back then.
You do still have your moments, but I love you all the more whenever we make up from it. I promise I won't ever give you another reason to be insecure again, you're all I want and need."
"You know, we never really made up from last night, not properly anyway," he gave me that cheeky grin I always melted at the sight of.
"Do you ever think about anything other than sex?"
"Yeah! I think about how amazing you are, and how much I adore you, but then those thoughts just trail off to you naked and under me. I can't help it, I'm a man! You should be flattered I can't get the image of you out of my head."
"Well get it out because I can feel your bulge against my stomach right now, and I don't think the baby really wants its father's d*ck poking it's face!"
He laughed loudly, his voice echoing through the room as he cupped my cheeks.
"You're cute, especially when you're talking about my d*ck. You never seem to have a problem when it's poking your face," he winked and kissed me.
"Anyway," I wiggled out of his grip as his hands were starting to crawl into places they shouldn't be right now. "I suppose I should go say hi," I began to walk away towards the room the boys were occupying.
Harry took a seat with Angus and Cal up the back, and Ash, Michael and Luke were at the front. They were all watching some sappy movie, and I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of six grown boys watching a love story.
I saw an empty seat next to Ashton, and decided to take Harry's advice and make up with him.
"Share the chips Irwin," I stole some chips from the bowl he was holding.
He looked to me and smiled, moving the bowl so it was now sitting in between us.
"Hey Jen,"
"Do you think we could talk for a minute? Maybe not in here because it's a little loud, just out in the lounge," I asked him, hoping he wouldn't reject my peace offering.
"Sure," he stood, and I lead him out of the room.
I looked over to Harry as I was leaving, and received a smile and nod of approval from him, letting me know he really did mean it when he said he wanted us to be friends.
Gemma and Willow had exited the lounge when we entered, which left Ash and I to sort this amongst ourselves.
"So..." We both said at the same time.
"You first," he said, pushing his hair out of his face nervously laughing.
"Well, I know you and Harry made up finally, which makes me happy of course. I kind of want us to be okay as well, you were always a good friend to me, sometimes too good and I didn't deserve you.
I'm sorry for being a terrible friend to you."
"You were never a bad friend Jen, I was. I should have been happy you were in love with Harry, but I was jealous and didn't treat you fairly.
If anyone is sorry it's me. I miss having you around, I miss our chats and your advice, I just miss having you in my life, as a friend."
Truth was I always loved Ash, as a friend that was. He was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, yeah he could have respected my relationship a little more, but he always had my best interests at heart.
"So where do we go from here?" I asked him.
"I think we just see how things go, maybe not give anyone a reason to talk so we won't be going out together or anything, but I'd like to hear what's going on in your life from time to time.
I wanna hear how your pregnancy is going and stuff, congratulations by the way! I'm happy for you guys,"
"Thanks, it was a huge surprise for both of us. I wasn't excited at first because I doubted myself and my ability to be a mum, but I guess time will tell," I rubbed my stomach, grateful for this little gift growing inside of me.
"You'll be an amazing mum, trust me," he smiled.
"Thanks."
We spoke for a little while longer about life and what had happened since we saw each other last. I was happy to hear he had a girlfriend now, she seemed like a great girl from what he'd told me, and she was gorgeous.
"So should we go back in there? I was getting pretty into that movie," he stood back up looking down at me.
"Sure," I laughed.
It was good to have my friend back, and I finally felt like everything was at peace.