Sorry for the mistakes
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Nandini's pov
Day 745-
Today, I saw your interview by mistake, Henceforth I'm again here.
You know Manik, I act all good and ok but a single mention or a glance of you, I get back to square one and again, I had to start from Scratch.
Day 751-
It terrifies me to think, what if I never forget you, what if all my life when I meet someone new, I can never fall for them because they aren't you?
Day 759-
I want nothing but the best for you, I really do.
Its just that sometimes, I wish that the best for you was ME.
Silly, I know!
Day 800-
Its pathetic really, that how much I still hope its you and me in the end.
Day 849-
Manik, I'm not good in letting go, infact I'm worst in it that's why my circle is so small and compact that I can count on my fingers.
I don't usually let anyone affect me or get attached with them, still I don't know how, I got attached with you and now its very very hard for me to let go and act like you were never there.
Day 903-
Finally, College is over!
My internship for the last semester is also completed, so is my project and final Viva.
But you know Manik, I couldn't find a Job. The place where I was doing internship, they don't recruit freshers as full time employee.
I can't even describe how I'm feeling right now. I don't want to go Delhi and face the questioning eyes of my so called relatives.
Day 934-
Over you?
I don't know
Thinking about you?
Every Single Day
Day 969-
Today, Mumma forced me to go to some relatives with her. They were taunting me indirectly, how I did Aerospace Engineering after literally fighting with everyone and now I'm Jobless.
The worst part was I couldn't reply anything to them as somewhere they were right but again This too shall pass, right?
Day 982-
Sometimes, I lie awake at night thinking, what we could've been if you liked me as much as I do.
Day 990-
You know Manik, there is next to none scope for Aerospace Engineers in India. I have got a few job offers but they weren't from my Domain so, I didn't accepted them.
All my friends are working except me. Sometimes I think am I really this dumb who can't even secure a job?
I have no one with whom I can share these stuffs. I want to say so much but no one's willing to hear, everybody is ready with a piece of advice and I don't want that.
Everybody think I'm just an Immature kid who is lazy and don't want to do anything.
I freaking hate this, I wish you were here.
Day 1000-
1000 days!
Damn its been 1000 days without you.
And you have no idea there is someone who thinks about you every single moment of the day.
I freaking counted the days, lol.
Anyways, Happy 1000th day, many more thousands to come.
Day 1037-
I'm here in Mumbai for convocation.
I didn't wanted to attend the convocation because of a number of reasons, like its in Mumbai, your city, I would be the only alumini who'd be jobless, Also coming to Mumbai will only evoke my emotions for you and I'd be left with nothing but more tears.
Yet, I'm here, because of Saree. Yes, you read it right, I never wore Saree and this is my first time, so here I'm.
To be very honest, I don't want to see you but a very very small part of me wants to take a glance of you just once.
Just Once.
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Convocation it is!!
I'm here in Mumbai for convocation, this city holds a lot of sweet, sour, happy and sad memories for me.
It feels good to be back here in College for one last time.
The convocation was great and I wore Saree for the first time in my life. Even though it was hard for me to carry it but I simply loved wearing Saree.
Divya, Jovi and Zara left the same day because of their work, while me being the unemployed one, will go tomorrow.
So here I'm, out for window shopping in the city. Taking the metro, I took the seat, when a few minutes later, a middle aged lady came and stood holding the handle.
She looked too Classy to be here in train, but who am I to Judge?
As no seats were vacant, I stood up and offered my seat. She smiled kindly at me saying "Thank You", I returned the smile.
Finally, my stop came I went out when the lady from the train called me from behind " hey, Thanks for the seat. "
" Its okay " I said smiling awkwardly, my anti social quality kicked in.
" So, where are you going? " She asked with an excitement, I frowned upon thinking why does she wants to know
" Nothing, just going for some shopping " I said confused
" Oh, can I tag along? " She asked with her eyes wide open in excitement
" Uhh-O-kay " I said thinking after a while
The lady was quite kind, classy and sweet, but my awkward nature with strangers didn't allowed me to open up with her.
Still we did shopping, and she was pretty much shocked by the price as according to her, its way too cheap.
Well, she wasn't wrong either, because I took her to the cheapest market in Mumbai where this Tuesday Sale was going on.
I laughed seeing her expressions when she heard the prices of T-shirts, Jeans and many other stuffs
After shopping, We were walking by the side of road talking randomly. well I was silent, she was the one talking about how much she wanted to explore the city and do things like normal people do when a voice stopped her
" Mom? " Someone shouted from the back
" Oh no " the lady beside me whispered
The voice was familiar, I didn't need to look back and confirm as I exactly knew who it belongs to.
Hearing him, I realised how much I craved to listen his deep voice
Before I could think of anything more, he yelled angrily " Mom, what the hell is this? Do you even realise how worried I was? You didn't even informed anyone "
The lady beside me turned back, while I was still rooted at my place trying to decipher what is happening.
I imagined a number of time that how'd I react when I'll see him but now I'm numb.
" Manik, I'm not a kid that you have to worry about me" the lady who was apparently his mother said taking a deep sigh
" Exactly, you're not a Kid. Do you even know how unsafe it is to walk in the city like this and you didn't even take any of the Guards. Forget about Guards, you did not even take a car " he sounded so angry that I felt like disappearing from there, even though he wasn't shouting on me
"I'm fine, I met this sweet girl and we went for shopping " His mom said, calmly I didn't heard anything for few seconds
" And Who the hell are you?" After few seconds, I heard Manik's deep voice
I could feel intense sharp glare on my back, making me shiver from nervousness
Not having any other option, I slowly turned back and looked at him after almost 3 years.
He still looked the handsomest guy anyone could ever see. His dark brown hair gelled up backward, while his light stubble was making him irresistibly hotter.
He was wearing semi formals, the shirt sleeves was rolled up till his elbow and the top three buttons of his shirt were open showing his chiseled chest, and he still has the aura around him, like he owns the world.
Before, I could analyse him more, He cleared his throat bringing me to the real world.
I looked at his sinfully handsome face which has a questioning look and a raised eyebrow
" H- hi Manik. Long time! " I said embarrassed but his next word broken me to the core
"Excuse me, Do I know you? Who are you? " He said with a blank face and I felt like a bucket full of cold water on me.
My heart felt this unbearable pain that I couldn't put it in words, I bite my lips looking down to stop myself from doing anything silly.
Taking a painful sigh and closing my eyes for a second, I looked up straight in his blank eyes
" No one Important " I said giving a sad smile
Not wanting to stand there for a second more, I immediately looked towards his Mom and muttered a small "bye" and left from there.
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Hearing Manik's word made me realise how stupid, dumb, idiot I was to even say him I like you that day.
It took me years to realise this but its okay.
Better late than never, right?
To be honest, I don't know what I'm feeling? Never in my worst nightmare I thought that he'd forget me and yet, he did.
Keeping aside my tangled thoughts, I unlocked my phone to send one last text.
Last text:
Manik,
I never knew, writing these texts would become an integral part of my life that my day won't get over, until I write all my thoughts and feelings in this particular chat.
But as every thing has its end, so is these texts.
My mind is blank and I don't know what should I write, because no matter what I say you don't care, you never did.
You know, I could've given you anything you wanted, but that wouldn't have mattered because I wasn't what you wanted.
I get it that you don't like me or I'm irritating but damn I never thought you'd forget me.
You Forgot me, Manik! And thus broke my heart.
It took me 3 years, 3 freaking years to realise that I'm just stretching this rejection.
Today, I don't have any complain or advice. All I want you to know that once there was someone who loved you unconditionally, who adored you beyond limit, who would have done anything to see you smile, and who didn't wanted anything from you except your little attention, but hey, no hard feelings.
If I were given a chance, I would have chosen you again and again but it took me a while to realise that if you were given a chance, you would never choose me, even if I'm the last girl in this world.
But its okay!
No matter how hard we try, we cannot get someone like us back, maybe that's why they call crush.
I don't want to curse you or think bad about you because its not even your fault. All I need is some peace, mental peace.
And this is possible only, if I stop thinking about you at all, neither in good nor in a bad way.
So, In the hope that we never meet again, I am loosing my hold from you and choosing my mental peace as priority.
May your life is filled with a lot of success, good health and happiness.
Signing off
Nandini Murthy
The second, I sent the text, I took no time to delete all the chats at once.
I was literally numb, no tears, nothing. Maybe, this is what 'Broken' means.
Taking a deep sigh, I rested my head on the Airplane Seat, when I got a notification of receiving a mail.
Opening the mail, I saw the offer letter of the Aerospace Company whose interview I gave a few days back.
I was surprised and happy seeing the mail that I didn't realise I was crying, but this time the tears were not because of Manik, instead it was happy tears that I finally got a job in my domain.
Though its not a big company, but I got the start.
I called my mother to give her the news. Mumma also started crying, she was in her class yet she was yelling infront of all her students that how proud she is!
My mother was happier than me that makes me realise this is what Love actually is!
This is what Unconditional Love means and I want this and only this. so, if Manik or anyone can't love me like this then I don't want them.
With a happy tears on my face, I smiled looking out of the window, just then the Aeroplane took off from Mumbai.
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Hey you guys,
I have a little request to you all.
I have started this hashtag on my Instagram account #UnSpoCuRed, where you can share your Unspoken, Undiscussed and Unfiltered Experiences, be it any inequality you faced, Failure stories, stereotypical societal pressure or anything in particular.
We all face a number of things almost daily which we think is not right, but couldn't voice out our opinion. Thinking this in mind i started this hashtag.
I'll post your #UnSpoCuRed Experiences there, if you want to be Anonymous, then you can DM me.
So, please tell your experience here,or in DM or in my Instagram account which is marbilxo .
You can find the link of my Instagram account in my bio section.
Please do share as I tried to start something new.
Do support and Share.
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Xoxo,
Marbil