Brandy
A few days have gone by and before I know it, I'm back at school and my internship with Steven Cruz. That means that my most fabulous winter break ever is officially over.
As relaxing as break was, I have to admit that I missed school. I like going to school, learning new things and being able to study in the library or coffee shop — it's my thing.
I have two classes with Benji this semester, which is less than last semester but I'm not complaining. I even have another class with Becca Dante, which I'm almost looking forward to. She is the only teacher who tests boundaries and makes me work twice as hard.
After Becca's class, I know I should approach her and tell her how my internship has been going. I see her standing over her desk, looking as focused and intimidating as usual.
"Becca, hi," I say as I walk up to her, books in my hands.
"Miss Bright, it's nice to see you," she says, her eyes still on her desk. "How was your break? Productive, I hope?"
Productive? All I can think about is stripping and wandering around naked at the party. I see myself chugging a forty and almost having sex with Benji. So... no, I wouldn't say it was productive at all.
"Totally productive," I lie.
"And the internship?" She finally looks up at me.
"I've had two weeks off but I'm getting back into it after school today. Mr. Cruz is just great — I'm learning so much from him." I fill her in. "Thank you again for referring me."
"It's my job, Brandy. When I see a person with great potential, I reward that potential. You earned this."
"Thank you," I say.
"How's that boyfriend of yours?"
"Benji is good," I tell her. "Very good."
"Not so good that he's become a distraction? You remember what's important, right?"
I nod. "Of course I remember. School is my number one priority," I try to convince myself. I swore I would never become the kind of girl who cares more about her boyfriend than her schoolwork but that was before I had a boyfriend to care about. And I know how important my education is and I will never stop giving it my all, but I definitely think more about Benji than business.
"I'm glad to hear that, Brandy," she says with relief. She clicks her tongue and sits on her desk before crossing her arms, like she's prepared to talk to me about something serious.
"I don't usually listen to student gossip, and nor do I like to get involved in these things, but I've heard a thing or two about Benji Cruz. Now, his father is a great, successful man — and I admire his work. His son, however, I'm not so sure. I just don't want to see you lose your work ethic."
I chuckle. "If I had a dollar for every time someone warned me about Benji..." I laugh to myself. "Thank you for your concern, Becca, but I know what I'm doing."
"He's kind of a red flag, don't you think?"
I shrug. "I like the colour red." I start walking away, not exactly in the mood to talk shit about my boyfriend with my teacher. I appreciate her intentions but I'm tired of people telling me the same things. "I'll see you next week."
I meet Benji for lunch at a small restaurant by school. We sit in the back right by a window and watch the snowfall from the sky.
"How was school, B?" He asks as his eyes scan the menu.
"I had fun," I say. "Becca's class is already incredibly hard but I love what I'm learning. She's such a great teacher. How was your first photography class?"
"Amazing." He smiles genuinely. "We took a few shots of the snow, and the little birds hiding away in the trees. My teacher, Mitchell, is a fucking great guy. This is the first class I've ever taken that I'm actually enjoying."
"Aw, babe, that makes me so happy." He kisses my hand. "Have you told your parents about the class? I know they won't be thrilled that you are taking a class that won't prepare you for the business world."
He sighs. "What they don't know won't kill them," he says. "It's my life, not theirs, so I don't really care what they think of it."
"So you're just... over it? You don't care what your parents think anymore?"
"I've spent my whole life trying to please them but nothing ever seems to work," he explains. "I just want to do what makes me happy."
"Speaking of your parents, maybe I should come over sometime? We haven't spent time together since we started dating. They do know that we're dating, right?"
He doesn't respond.
"You did tell them, didn't you?" I ask again.
He sighs. "It hasn't come up," he finally says. "I'll tell them I promise," he says, noticing how disappointed I look.
"I told my dad — you remember that, right? And you know how hard that was because there was a time when he really hated you."
"I know, I know," he says. "I promise I'll tell them, just give me some time. We're not exactly in a rush, are we?"
"Kind of," I disagree. "I've known your parents for years, I just feel like we're lying to them. Won't they be happy? I don't want to sound conceited but your parents love me."
"Just don't say anything to my dad when you see him at the office, okay? We aren't exactly in a great place right now and the last thing he wants to hear about is my dating life."
"I thought he'd be happy." I frown. "Wouldn't this news cheer him up?"
"Promise me, okay? Promise me you won't say anything until I'm ready to."
I sigh. "I promise."
"Thank you, B. I appreciate it."
***
Benji
While Brandy heads off to her internship at my dad's office, I head to Central Park to get some shots for my photography class.
It may be freezing cold but I'm definitely dressed for the weather. I have on a warm coat, gloves and a beanie. I take snap after snap, wandering around the frozen layer of water in the park.
"Benji?" A voice calls out to me.
With my eye still looking through the lens, I see Sarah — a girl from my high school. I lower the camera and smile. "Sarah?"
Sarah is one of the many girls I had a fling with back in school. Most of those relationships ended badly and the girl ended up hating me or something like that. But Sarah was different. If I remember correctly, Brandy even met her once, months ago. I was drunk and they both took care of me.
"How the hell are you? It's been, what? Over half a year?" She hugs me.
"I think the last time we saw each other was around summer," I tell her.
"What have you been up to?" She asks. "Still partying, I'd assume?" She laughs.
"Not as much," I say modestly. "I'm studying at NYU and classes take up most of my time these days."
"I did not think you would go to college," she admits. "You were pretty... different... back in high school."
"I don't blame you." I chuckle. "I never gave off the vibe that I wanted to go to university — but here I am. It's been pretty great."
"Still a Starboy, Benji?" She smirks. "I remember we hooked up for a week until you moved onto Betty Park."
"I was a little unbalanced back then — and it wasn't even that long ago," I explain.
"What changed?" She asks curiously.
"My girlfriend," I say, and I can see the surprise on her face. "She's amazing, and a great influence on me. I honestly think she drinks more than me now." I laugh.
"You have a girlfriend?" She finally says like she has been wanting to say that since I uttered the word girlfriend.
"Is that so impossible to believe, Sarah?"
She shakes her head, realizing she might be offending me here. "I guess I owe Evan a hundred bucks. Or I won't tell if you won't."
"What?" I ask.
She sighs. "Some of us back in high school made a bet... that you would never settle down with anyone. I figured you never would, you know, given your history with girls. I guess I was wrong." She shrugs. "We made plenty of other bets too. I hope I don't lose those ones."
"Like what?" I narrow my eyebrows at her.
"Are you familiar with high school graduate statistics?" She asks. "Like how one person from your grad class will be dead in ten years or one person will end up in prison?" I nod. "Yeah, things like that."
"What did you guys predict about me?" I wonder.
She laughs. "Maybe I shouldn't say."
"No, tell me," I demand, trying to make it sound like I don't really care — but I do. Why the hell do I care?
"Well, you were a popular name. Some of us agreed you would be the most likely to die an alcoholic. We also said you are the most likely to knock someone up. And some other things, sorry I don't remember them all."
"Who was a part of this?" I ask.
"Evan, Ricky and those guys. Do you still talk to them?" She asks.
"Not really," I say, my head in the clouds.
"Well, it was nice seeing you again, Benji. We should hang out sometime? Catch up? Text me? Okay, bye!" I know her invitation was just her being polite — that's just how it's always been.
I watch her walk away and scoff to myself. I can't believe people made a bet about me. I don't even know why I'm upset because if I had heard about this one year ago, I would be laughing along. Only now I'm not the person I used to be and I'm serious about changing myself. It's also the fact that they talked about it behind my back. I wasn't included in something about me.
Feeling a bit distant from my surroundings, I decide to stop shooting and go straight home. I just need to think for a while.
Brandy comes home at around eight o'clock and she finds me sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. "Hi, you." She kisses my head before she comes and sits down next to me. "Sad boy," she notices and pouts. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing," I lie.
"It's something," she disagrees. "What is it?"
"I ran into Sarah today. She's this girl I went to high school with. I don't think you remember her."
"Oh, I remember," she says. "She brought you home from school drunk. That was the day I told you I got into NYU."
"Yeah, her. Basically, she told me that people from high school made a bet about me," I explain.
"What was the bet?"
"That I would never find a girlfriend," I say.
"Oh," is all she says like she isn't surprised.
"Oh?" I repeat. "Isn't that ridiculous?"
She shrugs. "I guess so. Are you upset?"
"Kind of," I say, wondering why she isn't defending me. "Isn't it kind of messed up? I understand why they used to think that but Sarah was still surprised when I said I have a girlfriend."
"Well, Sarah doesn't know you are anymore," she says. "Who cares what she thinks or anyone else thinks?"
"Yeah, well it's not just her. Apparently, everyone thinks I'm going to die an alcoholic and knock somebody up," I say frustratedly.
"She said that?"
"Yes," I say.
"That's... messed up."
"No shit," I mumble. "It's just frustrating, you know? For months I have been trying to be better. I'm trying to get sober, stay home more, pick better friends, and make better choices. I'm putting all of this work into myself and it's annoying when nobody else acknowledges it."
She places her hand firmly on mine. "I do. I acknowledge it. Benji, those people don't know you anymore. They know an outdated version of you but they don't know who you've become. And if they knew you now, I promise you they wouldn't think what they think."
I sigh and look into her eyes. "Do you really think so?"
"Of course!" She kisses my hand. "Who you've become... I'm so proud of you. You are certainly not the person I knew one year ago. You are a good person. You are someone I trust — someone that could never hurt me."
I shudder when I think about the Natalie situation. "I'm no saint," I sigh. "I-I've hurt you before."
"Well, that was before. This is now. You could never hurt me now."
I chuckle. In my head, I debate whether or not this is the perfect time to tell her what's been going on in my double life. The fact that I'm seeing another girl isn't what I'm scared of her finding out — it's the fact that my family could be in debt in a blink of an eye. What if that actually happens? I wouldn't be able to afford this apartment and I would be nothing.
My whole life, my parents have told me that if I were born into a "poor" family that I would be dead. According to them and many others, I am essentially useless. I fool around too much, I'm not serious enough. I could never be a businessman and I could never live up to my potential. My own father believes I am a disappointment.
When I was failing half of my classes, my classmates didn't care. They didn't care because at least I had a penthouse and designer clothes. And don't forget the personal chauffeur. Even when I felt like nothing, I had money. I personally don't care about money, but this world seems to. The people I know seem to. If you take away my wealth, what good am I to anyone?
Would Brandy even want me?
I lean in to kiss her and slowly part our lips after a minute. Our eyes meet and she wraps her warm hand around the back of my neck. Maybe I'm not too different because I still use physical stimulation to avoid my problems. I don't want to face the facts, so I don't.
Her head falls onto the couch, leaving me over her. I kiss her over and over around her neck and lips and she giggles. "Still ticklish?" I smirk.
"Maybe a little."
"Your lips are perfect," I say in between kisses. "So perfect."
We smile at each other and go back to what we both want to do. She pulls my shirt over my head and pushes me down so that she is on top. Brandy kisses down my torso, leaving small but noticeable hickies on my body. I play with her hair in my hands as I watch her pull down my pants.
"Can I?" She asks quietly, which makes her even more adorable.
I smile. "I want you to."
She feels good, too. Sometimes I forget how good being with someone really is because usually, I am drunk. Most of my sexual encounters are blurry or I don't remember much of it. I think I've been scared of being sober with a girl. Alcohol has a way of relaxing your body and not letting yourself overthink. I act like I have game but really it's the substance.
A few minutes later, she lays over me and we cuddle for a while. That's another thing I haven't done before Brandy — cuddle. I used to fear someone asking me those pillow talk questions after hooking up. 'What's your darkest secret?' And 'What makes your cry?' With Brandy, those questions don't scare me. I want her to know the answers. But still, all in time. No one changes that quickly.
—
Happy Friday, readers ❤️ this week has been kind of rough and writing has made it so much easier. Thank you for the kind comments and messages I've received in the last few weeks, it has lifted my spirit so much.
I'll be posting a new chapter tomorrow so don't forget! Have a lovely weekend,
Beth. Xo