⚠️ Chapter contains content that might be triggering to some. Please stop reading if it's too much. ⚠️
I froze, I didn't know how to react or think. This was information I had never heard before, my heartbeat picked up and my throat felt awfully dry. I didn't know if it was the alcohol speaking but I didn't want to hear more yet I couldn't move.
"Really," Tía said. "When Carmen learned she was pregnant with you and Douchebag Brinson was apprehensive to accept you were his, your uncle and I offered to adopt you."
"No," I breathed and shook my head. "It can't be," I muttered to myself.
"Let's go," Mitchell placed his hand on my leg and sat forward, ready to leave.
I was glued to my seat, unable to move. I refused to believe what she said was true, neither my mom nor dad ever mentioned giving me away.
"Carmen struggled with postpartum depression shortly after you were born," Tía went on to explain. "As a doctor, you should understand how... ugly that can get sometimes."
"Carolina," Leo spoke seriously for the first time that night. "What's the point of this?"
"I'm just saying, Leonardo," Tía shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, Carmen was a wonderful mother... while she was able to be. But in the beginning, it was rough, she had a stressful pregnancy with the doubt of a present paternal figure for her child, Mama and Papa were supportive but they weren't happy with Carmen's foolishness of falling pregnant from a one-night stand."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and said in a small voice. "Tía... por favor."
"Ay, mi corazón," Tía offered me a hand to take but I kept my hands into tight fists on my lap. "Everyone loves you, Cariño. But it wasn't easy on Carmen, I imagine she was terribly overwhelmed and it reached a stage where she... kind of rejected her baby."
"You would cry and she'd end up crying, not knowing what to do. She was a mess and your uncle and I stepped in and offered to adopt you," my aunt was on a roll and didn't see how much her words affected me.
"We even got the paperwork ready. Carmen knew she'd still be part of your life but you'd become mine and Santiago's responsibility. We were so excited and happy to make you our child but," Tía's tone saddened and she took in a deep breath. "Your father refused; he wouldn't give you up no matter what. He insisted you and Carmen live with him for as long as she needed, he got your mom the best treatment and gave her all the time she needed to heal. In those months he took care of you, from night feedings, diaper changes, and even bath time."
My eyes stung with threatening tears, this was all new information and I had no choice but to believe it because my aunt had no reason to lie. My nails dug into my palms and I heard my heartbeat in my eardrums as Tía's words played on a loop in my mind.
"I think it was in those months that Carmen fell for Damien." Tía paused, clicked her tongue, and shook her head. "But he never reciprocated, Carmen mentioned that Damien was unable to love because the only woman he ever loved broke his heart and left him shattered."
Mitchell shifted in his seat and even I felt the discomfort by her one sentence. I was grateful that my aunt didn't know that the woman who broke my dad's heart was Mitchell's mother, Carly.
"So much for that though because he got married to someone else a few years down the line," Tía's tone grew bitter. "And I was glad that Carmen got ahold of herself sooner and left before the wife entered the scene."
My uncle broke the tense and deafening silence and clueless to the conversation, he just walked into, he cheerily spoke, "What are we talking about?"
Raquel took the initiative to reply and kept her eyes firmly fixated on me when she spoke, "Tía was just telling us how you guys almost adopted Mila."
My uncle's lighthearted demeanor was quickly replaced with a serious one. "¿Que coño, Carol?"
Realization must've dawned down on my aunt because regret immediately coated her features. "Mila, Cariño... I'm so sorry," she reached for me but Mitchell wrapped a hand around my shoulder and pulled me to his side. Tía slowly retracted her hand, "I didn't mean to upset you, darling. Carmen is your mother and always will be. I'm sorry, I don't think and speak."
Tío glared at his wife before looking my way affectionately, "Lo siento, mija."
"Why is everyone apologizing?" Raquel casually spoke. "If Tía and Tío adopted Mila, she would've had a mom now and would've grown up in a stable home with a dad who loves her."
"Raquel," My uncle warned but she ignored him.
"I'm only speaking the truth," Raquel shrugged. "I am fortunate to have two sets of parents, my own and Tía y Tío. Mila barely had one of each, if you adopted her, she would've had a real childhood and a proper upbringing."
Abuela's sister and her husband read the room, felt awfully uncomfortable, and excused themselves. They headed inside to most likely say goodbye to my grandparents and after the turn our conversation took; I didn't blame them.
I blinked away the threatening tears and glared at Raquel. "My mother is Carmen Bandera and my father is Damien Brinson and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world."
"For what?" Raquel ridiculed. "A mom who couldn't remember you for half your life and a dad who only got involved in your life two minutes ago?" Raquel scoffed, "You would've been better off with Tía and Tío."
"¡Basta Raquel!" Tío raised his voice. "Por favor," he added softer.
"Just because I don't sugarcoat things, I'm the bad one?" Raquel rolled her eyes.
"For fucks sake!" Leo snapped. "Why don't you put a sock in it?"
"I agree," Mitchell added. "Mila is classy enough not to shut you up but we've heard enough from you. Whatever Mila is today is not only because of her upbringing but her strength as she bravely dealt with everything life threw her way."
"I have never respected anyone more than I do Mila." Mitchell glared Raquel's way, "but unfortunately, being respected isn't something everyone can understand or relate to."
Raquel opened her mouth to reply but my grandparents arrived with a tray of coffee and cookies. Abuela dropped the tray on the little table and glanced at everyone's sullen faces. Abuela focused my way with concern, "Mila," she spoke softly, "¿Qué pasa?"
I refused to ruin Abuela's special day so I plastered on a smile and shook my head. "Nada. Sit and we'll have coffee."
"Hija," Papa who sat beside Leo frowned. "¿Todo bien?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. "Perfecta."
Mitchell tensed beside me and wanted to get up but I held onto his hand. I looked at him pleadingly and slowly shook my head. Mitchell understood, his gaze softened and with a sigh, he sat back.
"Mila is just overreacting because she found out Tía and Tío almost adopted her," Raquel blurted.
Everyone went silent and the looks of guilt that my grandparents exchanged with my aunt and uncle confirmed what Tía said was true. I glared icily Raquel's way and had enough of her shit. "Are you freaking crazy?" I snapped through gritted teeth. "I understand you take pleasure in taunting me but what did Abuela do to you?"
"Perhaps you're used to running your tongue in everyone's business," I hoped she understood my double meaning. "But is it so damn difficult to shut that damn mouth for once? Do you have to act like an insane, sadistic... person all the time?"
If smoke could've escaped Raquel's ears, it would've. She was furious, her nostrils flared, eyes narrowed and her hands curled into fists. "I am not crazy!" she snapped between gritted teeth.
"Raquel," my aunt consoled her by caressing her arms. "You are not crazy, let's go inside."
"No!" Raquel shook with anger and screeched so loudly that even I was startled. "I am not crazy; don't you dare call me insane!"
"Forgive her for pointing out the obvious," Leo muttered under his breath.
Raquel icily glared Leo's way and then at me. "You act like a perfect saint but I know what a bitch you are!"
Keep calm Mila, it's Abuela's birthday and Raquel isn't worth ruining it over.
"Watch it," Mitchell warned in a low, authoritative tone.
"How lovely," Raquel snickered. "Your boyfriend and boytoy to the rescue."
Mitchell abruptly got to his feet and glared at Raquel before he glanced at my grandparents. "Forgive me if I'm out of line but this girl has been not only disrespecting Mila and our relationship but has continuously flirted and passed subtle inappropriate gestures with her... body towards me and I'm sure Leo will stand by what I say."
Leo raised a hand as if he were in class, "Yep."
"I've reserved my distaste only out of respect to you and your home but I will not sit quiet and allow her to disrespect Mila and call her untruthful, disgusting names in my presence."
Mitchell's eyes narrowed on my uncle and aunt but his words were thrown mainly at Tía, "as her family who claim to love her, I'd expect you to have her back instead of consoling someone who has been out of line since we got here."
Mitchell took in a breath, his rigid posture, clenched jaw, and darkened eyes told me how pissed he was but I admired how respectfully and composed he handled the situation. The Mitchell I knew would've thrown a temper tantrum if it wasn't for the sake of my grandparents.
"Cariño," Abuela looked between Raquel and me. "I didn't know..."
"No, Abuela," I quickly shook my head. "I know, it's not your fault. I'm sorry for upsetting you on your birthday."
"Oh for God's sake!" Raquel rolled her eyes. "Mila is not a saint, so stop treating her like one."
"Abuela," Raquel looked Abuela's way. "Did you know what your beloved Mila and Leo were getting up to right under your nose?"
"Raquel!" I warned.
"Fuck it," Mitchell ran a hand through his hair and gripped my wrist. "We're getting out of here."
Mitchell pulled me to my feet and I was hesitant to leave because of how upset Abuela and Papa looked. My uncle had enough, he gripped Raquel's arm and insisted she leave with him, Tía stood and was ready to follow too. But Raquel caught everyone off guard when she harshly pulled her arm out of my uncle's hold and yelled so loudly that I was certain the neighbors heard. "Do not touch me, Santiago!"
No normal person acts this way.
"Stop defending Mila who has always lived with a fucking diamond-encrusted spoon in her mouth!" Raquel stomped her foot on the ground like a kid who didn't get their way. "She is not perfect; she is a liar and a hypocrite!"
But she just insisted I had a messed-up childhood. Something is clearly wrong with her.
"I did not grow up with a diamond-encrusted spoon," I countered. "You only see the things I've received as gifts but you do not know what I endured growing up. You said so yourself, I had a mom who didn't remember me for half my life and a dad who's only recently involved in my life."
"Mila," Mitchell looked at me impatiently. "Why are you still standing here talking to her?" He stepped closer and I could tell how much anger he restrained. "Let's go, please."
"Boo-hoo," Raquel snickered. "How tragic she says with her medical degree and a boyfriend who brought her here to visit in a freaking yacht after touring around the Mediterranean for ten days!"
"Raquel!" Abuela scolded. "I will not hear another word against my Mila, go inside or," Abuela sternly glanced at my aunt, "Carolina, she is your guest but do not force me to make a guest leave."
"Handle the situation, Carol," Papa added.
"Raquel, vamos," Tía nudged her to move but Raquel adamantly stood in her spot.
"All of you support precious Mila because she never does wrong," Raquel spat. "How well do you know her, Abuela?" She turned to Papa, "Do you know the kind of things she's done in your home, behind your back, Abuelo?"
"Looks like I need to take out the trash myself," Leo muttered and stood up.
"I am not Mila; I will not allow you to touch me!" Raquel yelled at Leo before he even took a step. She looked at my grandparents, "when I say touch, I mean the same Leo you trusted with your life, took Mila's virginity on prom night."
Mitchell tensed beside me and Leo looked ready to murder Raquel. Papa and Abuela's eyes were wide in shock and they slowly turned to Leo and me. "Is," Abuela hesitated, "is it true?"
My blood boiled with rage, I had enough of Raquel and moved to physically injure her but Mitchell held me back. "Let's go, Mila," Mitchell growled under his breath.
"Of course, it's true!" Raquel spat. "Their little affair didn't only happen once, they hooked up in your home when you weren't there or were asleep, they did it in his parents' home. Probably hotels, Leo's car and I bet the list is endless!" Raquel looked at me with nothing but hatred.
"Puta Mierda!" I cursed between gritted teeth and Mitchell easily let me go when I wanted to reach over and slap the bitch.
"Oh, it gets better," Raquel looked me straight in the eye, and before I could say another word she blurted. "Mila found herself in a little... predicament and Leo secretly helped her get rid of the problem."
"I don't think I need to elaborate further for all of you to understand what that means," Raquel added. "But to sum it up, it seems Leo planted a little seed in Mila and before it could germinate, they plucked it out."
"¿Que?" Abuela gasped.
It felt like the air was sucked out of my lungs, my head spun and I took in everyone's shocked and disappointed expressions. Abuela held onto Papa with glistened eyes, Tía and Tío lowered their heads, Leo was white as a ghost, and Mitchell... I looked around everywhere and Mitchell took quick steps into the house. I flinched when he slammed the door behind him and was sucked back into reality.
My focus narrowed on Raquel and I raised my hand to slap her hard across the face but Tía pulled her aside and blocked the slap. "Mila, don't," Tía pleaded. "She isn't herself or she'd never say that."
"You mean speak the truth?" Raquel snickered.
"Basta, Raquel!" Tío snapped and this time when he dragged her inside, with a smirk my way, Raquel easily obliged
"She's bipolar." Tía quickly explained.
"You're telling me?!"
Tía shook her head. "She has bipolar disorder and when she has episodes like this, it means she hasn't been taking her medication. We thought bringing her here for a change of environment would help but we would've never guessed that she'd... act out like this."
My breathing came rapidly and I retracted my hand. I was so mad that I didn't care about Raquel's mental condition and found it unfair to be her psychological relapse muse. However, as someone who understood mental health and was about to embark into the medical field that dealt with the brain and nervous system, I sympathized with her and pulled back.
"And what about you, Tía?" My eyes pooled with tears and voice cracked. "What excuse do you have? You say I was almost your daughter but is a piece of paper that important to be treated like one of your own?"
"No, of course not, hija," Tía reached for me but I flinched away. "I love you like my very own."
"If that was the case, why did you allow Raquel to speak to me that way?" I blinked away the tears. "If that was out of your control, then how do you explain telling me that there was a time in my life that my..." I paused and my voice broke, "That my mom didn't want me either?"
"I spent my life believing I was a mistake, that my father never wanted, loved, or even gave a crap about me. But my mom..." I sniffed, "My mom was my happy place, her love for me got me through every bad or weak moment I've ever had."
"Mila...I'm so sorry," Tía's eyes glistened with threatening tears but I put up a hand.
"Living with mom while she had Alzheimer's was difficult but I am so happy and grateful that she never gave me up to you because she was... she is my mother," I glared at her through tear-filled eyes. "Something that you could never be."
"Nonna," Leo's voice interrupted me and I watched him follow my furious grandmother into the kitchen. "Escúchame, por favor," Leo yelled after her in Spanish.
"Papa..." I didn't understand what went through Papa's mind but he gestured for me to follow Abuela and Leo into the house.
I ran after them and walked in on Abuela glaring at Leo but she didn't appear angry, she looked hurt. "I considered you family... my grandson and you did this?" Abuela's voice reeked of betrayal and pain. "I trusted you with my Mila!"
"Nonna, it isn't as Raquel says," Leo stepped closer but Abuela put up a hand.
"You slept with Mila, no?" Abuela wore a look of accusation in her eyes. Leo lowered his gaze and gulped which was a silent way of answering yes.
"Abuela," I said but she put up a hand and stopped me from getting closer. "I am speaking to Leo."
"Did you..." she paused and took in a deep breath. "What did you help Mila with?"
Leo looked my way and the pain and guilt in his eyes made my heart clench. He didn't respond to her with a yes or no because he promised he would never bring that up without my permission.
"I'm sorry, Nonna," Leo muttered. "Trust that I would never hurt Mila in any way, not then and certainly not now." Leo gulped and added in a small voice, "I care about her...always have."
Abuela was hurt, angry, and disappointed. "I'm not your Nonna," she looked away. "'íVete!"
Leo lowered his head and slowly turned on his heel to leave. "Abue-" I croaked but with one final look, Abuela stormed out of the kitchen.
"Leo," I took quick steps towards him before he could leave through the kitchen door. Leo's hand curled around the doorknob and he didn't move but never looked my way either.
"I will explain everything to her, she'll understand," I promised. "She just needs a little time to cool off."
Leo lifted his gaze to meet mine. "Don't sweat it, Mila." He forced a small grin, "Clear Mitchell's and your family's doubts."
"I will and you'll see, Abuela will be making you breakfast and yelling at you like normal tomorrow morning," I smiled to convince him.
"Sure," Leo's words didn't sound comforting and my heart broke to look at him. "I'm gonna go, I think... I think I've overstayed my welcome in this family."
"Leo..." I muttered and a single tear rolled down my cheek as he opened the door and walked off.
I headed straight upstairs and was conflicted about who to speak to first, Mitchell or Abuela. But Papa answered that question when he was very understanding and told me to go to bed and allow Abuela to cool off before I was to speak to her.
Abuela had a temper and I knew it was best not to add to it when things were fresh so after Papa kissed my cheek goodnight and told me not to worry about anything, I mustered up the courage to speak to Mitchell.
To say I was nervous would've been an understatement, my heart did a marathon in my chest and my body tingled with anxiety. I swallowed, took in a deep breath, and opened the guest bedroom door. Mitchell stood by the open window, stared at nothing in particular, and puffed on a cigarette. I softly shut the door behind me and took slow steps into the room, Mitchell noticed me, exhaled the last bit of smoke before he put out the cigarette and made his way over.
He looked upset, to say the least, his hair was a mess which told me he ran his fingers through it one too many times, his shirt hung out of his pants and a good few of the top buttons were undone. Mitchell's face was neutral but his lips sat in a straight line and his jaw was tightly clenched as he approached me.
He placed one hand in his pocket and stood at a good distance away from me in silence. His eyes bore into mine and the tension was so thick in the room, it consumed me. I twiddled my thumbs and lowered my gaze because I couldn't handle the way he looked at me anymore.
"Go on, yell, scream, shout, swear... get it off your chest," I muttered while staring at the seemingly interesting ground. "I won't say a word."
My heart raced faster than ever as I watched his shoes draw closer as he took a step forward. My chest tightened and the lump in my throat grew when Mitchell's scent mixed with the awful stench of tobacco surrounded me.
Mitchell gripped my chin with his fingers and forced me to meet his gaze. His features softened and he spoke timidly, "I'm not going to yell or do any of what you just said." He pulled his hand away and stared at me warmly, "I promised I'd hear you out before drawing any conclusions and I'm a man of my word."
I blinked rapidly so my eyes wouldn't tear up. "But after what you just heard... you must feel something."
Mitchell raked his fingers through his tousled hair. "Believe me, I feel a lot right now," he exasperatedly sighed. "Prominently anger."
I gulped and instinctively took a step backward, the closer I scrutinized Mitchell, the clearer I noticed the anger in his eyes. Mitchell's eyes found me and he gripped my arm and gently pulled me forward, he licked his lips and looked down at me with a loving gaze. "I'm not mad at you."
I was relieved to hear that but somehow couldn't believe his words. I sniffed, lowered my gaze, and nodded. Mitchell's large hand cupped my cheek and he lifted my head once more, "Talk to me, Mila," his eyes searched mine, "please."
"I'm so scared," I whispered and shut my eyes. "That you're going to look at me in a different light."
Mitchell inhaled deeply and pulled his hand away. I opened my eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose, and blinked rapidly. "My mind is a fucking mess right now, Raquel's words keep playing on a loop," Mitchell paused and huffed. "But looking at you right now, all I see is my Mila and I need you to please tell me everything before I completely lose it."
Mitchell did his best to keep his temper in check but the longer I prolonged it, the quicker he slipped through the cracks. My throat felt like a desert and my heart was frantic, I ran a hand through my hair and took in a deep breath. "Raquel found an old diary of mine in the garage and read it. She found an entry where I spoke of prom night, in the limo where Leo and I ha-"
"You can skip that part, I've heard it enough times to last me a lifetime," Mitchell dryly said.
I licked my lips and nodded. "Well, you know that... what happened that night wasn't a once-off thing. It happened a couple of times."
Mitchell stiffly nodded in response.
"I don't remember exactly what I wrote but I kept my entries cryptic, so only I could've understood," I spoke calmly even though I freaked out on the inside. "I wrote something along the lines of how the intimacy I shared with Leo put me in a difficult position but it was also Leo who helped me fix that. He was there for me in a way no one was and promised that whatever happened would never be shared with anyone else."
Silence followed and all I heard was my rapid breathing and Mitchell's steady breaths. He gulped, took in a deep breath, and exhaled through his lips. He ran both hands through his hair, threw his head back, and after another deep breath, he looked my way.
"What," he paused. "What Raquel said about... the seed and that shit..." Another pause. "Were you... were you...?"
Mitchell couldn't even complete his sentence and I heard the fear in his tone. "Was I pregnant?" I completed his sentence in a small voice.
Mitchell shut his eyes for a moment and nodded. "I don't want to throw accusations," he opened his eyes and stared at me seriously, "but the way it sounds..."
"Because that's how Raquel interpreted what she read," I took a step closer to Mitchell and he appeared scared for what I was to say next. "And I don't blame her because, given the context, it sounded like that."
"Can you stop talking in riddles?" Mitchell spoke slow and in a low tone.
"No," I replied softly. "I was never pregnant."
I'd never seen Mitchell look so relieved in the time I knew him, he let out a huge breath and ran a hand through his hair for what seemed like the umpteenth time. He threw his head back and unwound his tense shoulders before he looked at me again.
"So, what the fuck was she going on about?" Mitchell's temper slowly slipped through. "I don't know how you did it but I couldn't stand there for a minute more and listen to another fucking word that came out of her mouth."
"This is something I've only shared with Leo," I muttered. "You need to understand that I was young and felt so alone in this world."
A lump grew in my throat as my mind went back to one of the lowest times in my life. "I was in senior year, my mom's condition worsened by the day." Tears pooled in my eyes as I continued, "I didn't really have any friends in high school and the ones I had, never understood why I was never around out of school hours."
"My dad..." I trailed off and sniffed. "Well, he was barely present in my life at that stage, my grandparents already had so much on their plate that I felt guilty to share how I felt with them."
"I kept building a wall to hide my emotions behind, I convinced myself that I was perfectly fine when in reality I was crumbling bit by bit on the inside."
"Mila," Mitchell stepped forward but I was on a roll.
I blinked rapidly so I wouldn't break down. "I did such a good job at convincing myself that I became numb. I reached a stage that when my mom had an episode and would freak out with me, I wouldn't even blink an eye, I'd just take my things and leave for a few hours."
"I didn't want to go to Prom, I had too many responsibilities and didn't even have a date. But Abuela and Leo convinced me to go out and let my hair down for once, Leo offered to be my date, and after much convincing, I obliged."
"After what felt like forever, I had fun and enjoyed myself. I felt like a kid who was about to start a new chapter in life," I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "And that night... well you know what happened."
I licked over my lips, paused for a long moment, and continued, "I'd never experienced any kind of intimacy before as I did with Leo. I doubt you want to hear the details but whenever we... hooked up, it was never just a quickie and I'd leave."
Mitchell looked away and I could tell he didn't want to hear this but for him to understand everything, he needed to hear. "He would hold me, we'd talk, laugh and he took care of me. For the first time in forever, I was taken care of instead of the other way around."
"I felt a sense of safety when I was with him, I was able to be vulnerable with him and all those emotions I kept buried my entire life, slowly started creeping out." A single tear rolled down my cheek and I was exhausted so I made my way to the bed and sat at the edge. My palms sat flat on each side of me and I slowly dug my nails into the comforter. "All those emotions overwhelmed me; I couldn't take it."
"It felt like whatever I shared with Leo wasn't real because when I got back home every night, I'd sit alone in my room in the dark, staring at my dad's number on my phone, wishing I could've had the kind of relationship Leo had with his dad. I craved the kind of affection Leo received from his mother." Another tear rolled down my cheek. "I wanted a normal family even though I never knew what that felt like."
"I hit rock bottom," I swallowed. "And no matter how many smiles I faked, how many laughs I forced, how many sassy comebacks I used as a defense mechanism, I was still a sad, lonely kid on the inside who craved a hug from mom or dad and to be told I was loved."
"Life just seemed like one fucked up joke!" I dug my fingers deeper into the mattress as more tears rolled down my cheeks. "I had enough, the emotional and mental pain I felt was torture and I would do anything to make it go away."
"One day after spending an entire day with Leo, I came home to one of my mom's episodes. Julie, her caretaker, was done for the day and after she left, I thought I'd spend some time with my mom. But she had one of the worst possible episodes, she lost it and thought I was there to hurt her." More tears rolled down my cheeks. "She yelled, screamed, scratched me until I bled, I didn't know what to do, I panicked and called Julie. I left the apartment and waited outside the door until Julie arrived and was able to calm her down."
"She gave her a tranquilizer and put my mom to sleep but my head was a mess," I wiped away my tears and tried not to get too lost in the memory. "Every single feeling weighed me down, it suffocated me; I couldn't do it anymore. I tried to call my dad just to talk to him but he never answered because he was out of the country."
"My head was a mess and reached a really dark place," my voice got shaky. "I couldn't sleep that night; it was as if every bad thing I've ever had to go through came rushing back." I took a long pause, swallowed, and wiped away the fresh set of tears. "I made a foolish move and decided to take away the pain, I texted Leo to thank him for being a great friend and told him to give my grandparents a big hug from me and..." I choked on a sob, "I am ashamed to say but I did a selfish thing, I didn't think of my mom, my grandparents, Leo, my brothers, Mandy, or even my dad."
"I only wanted to stop feeling, I needed to stop feeling because it was killing me," my vision blurred with tears that didn't stop flowing. I glanced up at Mitchell who stood rigidly a few feet away, my lip trembled and I croaked, "I did a bad thing, Mitch. I..." I sobbed at the mere memory of that night where I felt utterly hopeless, alone, and scared. "I tried to take my-"
"Shh," Mitchell rushed to my side and hushed me. He pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around me tightly. He gently ran his fingers through my hair and held me as tightly as he could. "You don't have to say another word."
"I know it was wrong," I cried into his chest. "Leo rushed to the apartment because he sensed something was amiss and he found me... unconscious on my bedroom floor."
"He took me to the ER in time and Leo was at my side for the two days I was in the hospital. He never told a soul but helped me get through a very rough time."
"I realized what I did was wrong and I promised to never do such a thing again. It was a very, very weak moment but if it wasn't for Leo and that summer I spent with him, I don't know what would've happened."
I looked up at Mitchell who stared at me with pain in his eyes, he swallowed and wiped away my tears. "You never have to feel alone ever again, I promise."
"Do you see me as some... fucked up, weak person with a very dark side?" I muttered. "You said you fell in love with my confidence but now that you've heard about how weak I can be, does that make you feel diff-"
"Never," Mitchell cupped my cheek. "You are the strongest, bravest person I know and I love you more for it." Mitchell kissed my forehead, each of my eyes, the tip of my nose, and then my lips.
"You are my Milo," he whispered and wiped away more tears. "Don't you ever doubt that. I love the good, bad, strong, weak, pretty, ugly, and every fucking side of you."
He pulled me back to his chest and rested his head on top of my head. "I'm sorry you had to relive that moment," he whispered and kissed the top of my head. "I promise that you will always have me, no matter what."
I was relieved and felt foolish to think Mitchell would ever feel different towards me because of something I did as a teenager. I pulled away a fraction, offered my hand, and looked up at him through blurry eyes. "Always?"
Mitchell wrapped his hand around mine, brought it to his lips, and kissed it. "Always, baby."
A/N This was a heavy chapter to write. If any of you were triggered or just want to talk, I'm just a message away. Love you guys!
Did any of you guess this was the big secret?
Let me know your thoughts,
Till then,
Tina