Although I'm fully aware the winter season here will be taking so long before it changes, somehow, I wish there's some way to alter it since I couldn't make myself get used to the cold of the country, not to mention my jackets or any clothes I'm holding into is giving up already. If they only had feet of their own, they will, too, leave me alone.
That's why I accepted one of the offers offered to me when a huge play competition took place in the university. We're not asked to join but if we wanted, we can still join. However, due to we have so many projects to work into, hindi na talaga sila sumali.
"I'm expecting it to be on my desk two days from now. Class dismissed."
Luckily, our last professor for today is not looking at the class the whole time and I managed to packed my things without having the fear to get caught. He detests every students who are eager to go home since according to him, it is a slap for him, like telling himd face to face they wanted to just leave and never listen and learn to his. The moment he left the room, I quickly stood and start to run but Finn caught my hand, Will stood by the doorway and some of my classmates are bombarding me already with questions.
"What's with the hurry, Ron?" said Finn.
I clasp my strap tighter from my shoulder, "I have something to attend right away."
"This is our last class!" said Will briskly. "And oh, maybe lying, then? You know there's gonna be a party later? Trying to turn us down again, eh?"
Seriously, beads of sweat is already on my face. "I'm sorry. I have no idea. Really, I need to go so I can finish this projects of ours this night."
"Where you going?" said one classmate. "Date?"
"Date, huh?" they laughed. "It's not a surprise, Ron, perhaps if you are a vampire, surely you'll swoon even our girls."
"No. No, it's not really that. I'm broke and can't satisfy anyone as of the moment."
"You're telling we are just getting used because we have money?"
"Please. Let me through. Promise, I'll come next time. Mark my word, really need to hurry." I beg.
Thankfully, Finn bought what I said and perhaps saw through my desperate will to leave immediately and let me through. I salute at them and had a relieved sigh when they guffawed at my action, meaning I didn't really offend them.
The sun was never out today but the sky is still blue amidst the white thick clouds. The university is still covered with white snow but some parts have melted that when I crossed it, almost slipped the shit out of me. Just in time to be where I am.
The Widen Hall of Carson.
It's an open hall of the school, it's only open if the weather's right, painted originally in the color themes of Carson, the hall is squared in walls but the roof is half-moon shaped. From here, I can hear certain noises of the play practice and I quickly went inside after dusting off the snow from my boots
"Just in time, Georgy-georgy!" a woman, who I was surprised to see behind the door, yanks her thin ang shivering arms on my arm holding the laptop.
Her pigtails is really reminding me of some character I watched from a horror movie before. Almost just reaching my shoulder, her voice is so thin and high that I always think she fixed it with computer only if she wasn't that nice to offer me a temporary job in her own very play.
When we reached the stage, I noticed the actors are having table read but on the cold floor. Vanka, her name, removes her arm and face me. Vanka has this small toad-like face, huge black eye pupils and thin lips. Never mind her nose. I don't want to be sound bully.
"Waiting already backstage, Georgy! Come on, come on, I've already relayed my ideas and hoping you a good luck bringing them to life, okay? You handsome boy!"
Some of the eyes looked at me weirdly but only one pair did make me feel small. Didn't caught whom it come from.
Following her instructions, there's already three men inside, working in front of the computers. Sol, the one who's more approachable than the other two stood up, his golden brown hair bounced when he welcomed me inside.
"Perfect timing! We just got here!" he said and pulled me another chair.
"I have the visuals you asked me to work on last night." no denying my voice is shaking from fear. "If it's a little too plain, I really tried my best to pour my focus on it, we just had so many works to do."
He grabs my laptop from me and check the one I'm talking about. Even the two removed their attention to the computer into mine. Almost closing my eyes, nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang pumalakpak si Sol at mas matamis na ngiti sa mukha ng dalawa.
"Great!" He said. "We'll study it today, think about new things to add or not. Told you, you can do it."
If only the people who blocked my way earlier knew I didn't raised my voice so I wouldn't jinx what can happen now...
For the next few hours, one and a half or two ours, we called it a day. Paglabas namin, wala nang tao halos sa stage and Ava, the girl with pigtails, had went home already.
"Okay, mate?" the other one asked.
At first, I thought he's asking if I'm okay now, maybe assuming I have some transport to go home but he pats my shoulder, my jacket. "Looks thin. Is it helping you?"
"Yes!" I said. "Absolutely. Thanks for concern. No need to fret."
He bought it but a small gleam of worry is still there. Maybe he read how I suppressed the sudden shaking from the sudden blew of cold wind. I watched them hail their own cars and vanished from white ends. Meanwhile, I turned left since I still have business to go into before I went home.
The store is silent, with only the laughter from the cashier's phone reverberating the whole place. But one minute later, an unfamiliar pop song popped up somewhere. Pumunta na lamang ako sa PH section at kumuha ng ilang de-lata na pagkain. I don't know if I could still eat kapag nakauwi na ako or what. Ulam ko na lang bukas bago pumunta uli sa hall.
"Until when?"
Surely I know I'm the only one person inside, aside from the staff, but a conversation was heard. "How long?"
It's a woman voice, almost familiar. Iniling ko na lamang at nagpatuloy sa paghahanap ng mura. How come they are selling these items twice from how it was priced in the Philippines?
"Play will happen next Friday." another man voice emerged. "Then a short trip for the whole production on weekend."
"Can I come?"
"I don't know." I can see that person grinning. "You can't stay in the forest for so long."
"That's because it's still winter!" she groans. "How are you all gonna survive staying in the woods in this weather?"
I tucked the cans closer to my body, hoping it will bring me warmth but nothing. What that man said was true. Next Friday na ang play at lahat walang pasok para manood. Unlike the others, I have no plans on coming, I still need to finish some arts to be done so I could earn a penny. Hindi mandatory manood at alam ko naman na ang kwento ng play na ginagawan ko ng visuals.
"Evening." the staff said when I brought the items in front of him. I smiled and paid for it.
"Driver's here."
Mas malapit ang mga boses ngayon sa likuran at nalanta lalo ang lalamunan ko. Now they're close, my hunches seem to be right all along. "I'll get going."
"Yeah. Right." a kiss sound was heard before the bells chimed, hudyat na may lumabas. I thought they both went out but... "Oh, you again."
The guy working looked at Louie with indiscernible look. "Hey."
"'Yan lang kakainin mo?" his voice softened than earlier. "Hindi ka mabubusog."
Now the guy frowned and shot his brows up at us. "Yeah."
"Sungit." sabay tawa bago ko inabot ang sariling bayad. Kinuha ko na ang paperbag at tumango sa dalawa bago sumunod sa labas.
Mas naging torture ang lamig sa labas, not to mention I have no cars, nor no taxis are presenr at the streets. Promise, promise when the moment I will get my money from doing the play's visual, I'll purchase some jacket for a while. A good one. Mabuti sana kung dati na nasa bahay lang ako, hindi ako ganoon lalamigin. I could still earn money as long as I breathe.
"You're in a play?"
Automatic na bumukas ang bibig ko nang marinig na bumukas ang pintuan sa likuran. "Hmmm?"
"Nothing." why did I ask that without noticing and thinking it?
Louie laughs, "Yeah. I think you're doing something for our play."
That moment, I finally look at him. Wearing a black cap and leather jacket, he smiles at me. For the first time, nearer than the first time I've seen him. And it immediately dawned on me how weird he smiles. But it's fine. "Nakita kita kanina."
"I-i... I didn't see you."
Natawa siyang muli. "I'm lying on the stage when you arrived."
I cursed slowly when my body embraced the cold again. "Ah..."
No one dared to talk afterwards. I look stupid for looking earnestly at the end of every streets, hoping for some taxi to arrive and take me home.
"Hatid na kita." Louie said.
"Huwag na." bulong ko. "Magkalayo tayong dalawa."
"We're close, mate." he chuckled. "Ilang beses na tayong nagkita, I still don't know your name. Louie." he offers his hand.
Again, I almost spilled I know it already but managed to halt. "R-ron." but I didn't take his hand, which he fully understood. My hands is freaking icy.
"Ron?" I nod. "I thought Robert."
"Even you?" a small smile appeared on my face and shook my head.
"Kahawig mo, mate. Been hearing that a lot?"
"Ever since I start my puberty." it's personal but this the first time I've felt comfortable about telling how I really feel.
"Tell me where you live." he clinks his keys. "Pupunta ka pa rin bukas? Then let's go home."
"I'm waiting for some taxi."
"Not coming, Ron." God. What are those shivers behind me. "Wala nang dumadaan kapag ganitong oras. Come on, I know you're doing well behind the stage, you need to attend tomorrow."
Only if he could grasp my hand, he really would. "My house is far."
"You managed to go into mine, how is that impossible for me to do the same?" damn. That weird smile again. It felt like a hug. I never wanted a stranger's warmth on my body like this before. Ever.
***
"Knock-knock!" she did that with action.
I stopped staring and playing with my recorder and look at the door. Ava opens it a little and her pigtails remind me of someone again. "Busy?"
"Not at all." I smiled. "What's the matter? Wanna see the visuals? Just a minute, I'm waiting for the two to come back."
Ava relentlessly shakes her head and laughed, "No. No, it's not that. Later! But I'm here because Louie asked me to give you this?"
My head tilted to see the coffee with warm smoke coming out of the lid in her palm, "Louie?"
"Yep! Have it! Have it now!" I did. "He bought lots of coffee for all of us today. Actually, that's the first one he gave away."
So? "Woah. Thanks. He made you do it and probably wasted your time."
"Not a waste of time! Have a sip, winter seemed to be staying a little longer than the usual!" she wraps her hands around her and rolls her eyes.
I laughed then thanked her while watching her figure faded in my sight. Tinuon ko uli ang pansin sa ginagawa kanina at matamis na ngumiti. Ever since I started going to school, there's nothing interesting to tell and record. Kung nakakapagsalita nga lang ito, it will probably chastise me for being boring and no life.
What can I do? I only do home and school! I study then collect some temporary jobs I can do and do them at home. I have no time to do any outside games because the call of earning myself is louder than the first. But as soon as I met and... you know, at least a little, knew Louie, something changed.
Hiding it back from my bag, I noticed some scribbled words behind the cup, written in blue pen. "Always wanted to return your hospitality, mate. You watching this Friday? L. xx."
I broke the sudden smile on my face when the two went back inside again. They are holding, too, the same coffee I've got but no writings on any sides. Mabilis din kaming natapos because it's just touch-ups for the visuals for tomorrow. However, when I look at the stage, nor the bleacher, nor any corners of this hall, no trace of him.
Not new. Ever since he brought me home and acted like we've known each other so long, hindi ko na siya nakita pa nang maayos uli. If I arrive here when dawn comes, no trace of him, probably late. Another is like today, maybe he went home early.
"Hey!"
Bumugso ang kaba sa puso ko because I thought someone would snitch the opportunity of coming taxi but no, it's Akiro the one who called and I feel stupid for thinking na aagawin niya ang taxi when may sakay pala ang papalapit sa akin. "Hello! Where are you heading home?"
I told him. But not specific. "Woah! Waste! I thought we're going the same way! Akiro, bro! I didn't get your name but I always see you coming every practice!"
"I'm doing the play—"
"Of course, you do! I know!" he laughs menacingly, like he's planning to soften me and kill me afterwards. "We'll be watching it tomorrow! I saw the work-in-progress before and dude, no joke, everything is good! Your art style is best fitted for this play! Ava didn't really made a mistake having you for us!"
All of a sudden, he pulled me for a hug and I smile a little. Akiro is a fifth-year student, an Asian like me, but he's Japanese. There's a big difference about how we looked. He's more Asian-type guy than me.
"Never seen you do your actor, but will finally tomorrow."
"Oh, don't mention it! It's not obvious but I'm still shaking from anticipation and excitement for tomorrow!"
"You will do well, I assure you." I said. "The snow is getting thicker, I better get home before taxis ran out again."
"Ride with me!"
"No, no, it's came from you already. We're living almost cities apart, don't want to give you hard time going to your own."
Akiro was easily to be talked to and I watched inside the taxi him getting into a Mercedez Benz, who I assumed his, since he's got no driver. Sana lahat.
I still have two portraits to be done this night. Maybe I'll arrive late tomorrow. Bahala na.
***
The competition has started already but I'm still brushing my eyes every five minutes and yawning about why bother to come here when I could just reclaim all those deprived sleeps of mine. Then I recalled I still need to prove to myself I can do better than just drawing portraits and this is it... pencil in my fingers, my notebook under my arm while I make my way towards the hall.
As expected, the students are all jumbled and I couldn't make out one of them, neither see some of my classmates. But while I'm searching for an empty seat, I don't know in earth how it happened but Addison's eyes saw me the same time I saw her with her friends. I forced a little smile and looked away immediately.
"Georgy!" Ava popped out somewhere.
Gone with her pigtails, she's in costume already and by the beads of sweat on her head, I can attest it's the anticipation, and not the opened heaters inside the hall. Malamig pa rin. "Looking for a seat?"
"Yeah." I look around. "If there's still space, I'll take it. Or I'll just wait for your play to start standing."
She's dressed like the lost princess of the play. Amber gown and gold glitters on her face, I wonder what would the others look like. Especially the other one. I, also, need to thank him for giving me coffee.
"Come! Come! Take the seat my father supposed to take!" then she proceeds to pull me from the crowd until we reached the right bleacher, closer to the stage and some speakers but with great view and told her mom, who's also wearing ridiculous pigtails, that I'll be taking the obvious spot beside her.
"Sure! Sure! Come here, boy. You must be worn out looking for an empty seat?"
After saying my thank-yous and good luck to Ava, I climbed up to their spot and nods at her brother and mother. "It's my fault, ma'am. Woke up late."
"Fine! Fine! Ava mentioned to me you're the one who made the visuals?"
"Yes, Ma'am." I smile. "But there's two other people behind it. I couldn't do it all by myself."
Her blue eyes are pulling me like the waves of deepest sea waters. "I'm excited to see it, you know? She starred in the same play last year, have you seen it?" Wala ako rito last year. "The one she got was the worst one, if you only seen it."
The disappointment is totally engraved on her face. "What's happened?"
Then she proceed to let me know how this guy tried to sabotage their play by making a different themed visuals for the play. One week after it happened, it's only then they knew that guy was paid by the other play group so they can win against them. Wow.
"Well, I guess I know the reason why Ava asked me lot of questions when she asked to see and employ me, Ma'am."
"What is it?"
"Oh, just like what you said, Ma'am. Asked if I know the other groups, if I am planning to ruin this another play of them. That. Those. I was clueless but still answered with all my honesty. I just started studying her personally last year."
"Really?" her eyes gleamed with happiness. "Why? Are you taking virtual before? Where were you befo—"
Thankfully, someone spoke, the MC, and her question was trailed off. I smiled apologetically and triumphantly. Maybe I did feel that because it felt odd saying where I came from before here. Unlike Hux, who I feel okay saying I'm from Philippines, suddenly, saying it here in school is a no-no. Baka dahil ngayon lang may nagkaroon ng interes malaman kung saan ako galing kaya ayoko muna.
"Excuse, ma'am, gonna use the loo."
"Sure! Come back immediately! They'll be starting after this one!"
The play playing right now is called 'The Unforgiven Forgiveness' and I want to watch it but the call of bathroom is louder. Before I find the bathroom, I spotted the man I've been looking for since he asked coffee in my house.
I couldn't find the courage to come closer since first, he's smoking. I've had a horrible coughing every time I inhale a smoke from cigarettes. Second is his position, looking outside the sqaured windowpane, and it tells me he wanted privacy without saying it directly. But I could hear his sharp breathe intakes every time he puffs out the smoke out of him. Lastly, maybe I'm wrong because a girl comes closer to him and I heard the same question he's been repeatedly asking to everyone.
"You staying?" asked Louie gruffly.
The girl shakes her head, something I surely would do too if I came closer early, and smiled a little. Their costumes matched, Louie wearing all dark cloak and robes, with his black cap, the girl wearing a Victorian funeral dress.
I just shake my head and proceed going to the bathroom like what I'm supposed to do.
Pretty sure the bathroom is empty when I entered and finished doing my business but before I could open the door, it busted open, causing me to at least lose my balance and enter one of the cubicles. Out of panic, I closed the door as soon as possible as the maniac laughters of whoever came in starts to howl repeatedly inside loo.
Sigurado naman na nakita nila na bumukas nang kusa ang fob pero deretso pa rin sila. Inipok ko ang tapang sa loob but the moment a punched and broken bone of some body part resonated inside, I melted.
"Still trying to get to the top, huh?" a thick and strong voice flew around.
"Told you, bro, should've tortured him months ago! Together with the one who made him courageous enough to talk back to us!" another laughter.
What was happening?
"Please..." a faltering voice was heard. A familiar one. "The play is coming around in a minute..."
"Who cares about that damned play?! And didn't we tell you to don't try your luck anymore?! See then what could happen when you defied us!"
"Just go with it!"
"Where do we start? What's the character you're playing! And what does it mostly do? Sing? Dance? If sing, tie your tounge, hmm??"
"No!" that voice again. Frail than the one I'm hearing when he introduced himself to me.
"Or dance? Are you planning to do an absurd dance? Why? Your feet is both left, squinty-squinty eyee-eyee!"
I know I should be doing something now. One thing that's clear now is... someone's getting bullied outside and helping whoever it is the one to do but... how... Lagi kong naririnig ang mga boses na ganoon... It's also the reason why I never took the course with fifth-year. There's a big chance I'll encounter those...
"You sure no one is inside?" the man asked again.
"Everyone is inside, boss." a thin but trying-to-be strong voice answered. "But if someone is inside, then we'll have two for ourselves!"
I've never felt this anxious and scared... in school. A set of perspiration beads form on my forehead... on my cheek... No... I can see a set of shoes under the door in front of his cubicle...
"Check each one," the man said. Oh, for Pete's sake... "How dare you defy my orders when you just promised— ARGH! FUCKER! Hold him! All of you!"
I don't know what had gotten into me but I know that as soon as the people in front disappeared, I pull the door and ran for my life. Someone shouted 'Hey!' to me but they didn't know my father used to run or jog faster than average and since I like him doing it, sumasama ako kaya nasanay na rin. But I looked back and saw no one was chasing me after.
However, Akiro's pained face etched on my mind. Hindi ko... hindi ko alam kung nakita ba niya ang mukha ko... But is that important? I should ask for help! I should send someone in the loo and help him! He's about to play! He's about to be on stage and some blokes are hurting him!
My eyes is brimmed with hot tears and I almost didn't recognized my way back to the side doors, the loo is just outside the right wing doors, almost ten meters away. And I thought I bumped into the solid walls of Widen Hall but walls have ears, but they don't have long and warm arms.
"Hey." he began. I kept shaking my head, unable to understand what just transpired and hold on to my shirt. "What's happened? Bakit ka umiiyak?"
Louie sounded serious, when I didn't answer, he pushed my face up to him but I let go from his grip. "Ron." he knows my name. "Come inside. After you."
He made a small way for me to cross but I'm stubborn and just wanting to let go. "How are you gonna convince me you're all fine if you're like this?"
"I wanna go home." all I could say.
Maybe if my ears hadn't heard the other man said how filthy Aki's bloodline is, maybe I could still come inside, ask Louie to dispatch some of his co-actors to help their main actor and proceed like nothing happened but no... I heard them... I heard how they humiliate him for being... for being like that... For growing up like that... And that's enough reason for me to just go home. I can't stay for the mean time, Louie... Sorry...