We had a simple dinner with his parents and his oldest brother, Ahmad, who was joined by his Italian husband, Luca.
"We heard you are expecting a child. Congratulations. When is the wedding?" Ahmad asked when we sat down.
"We have not discussed this yet. It was unexpected," Tareq responded.
"I did not realize your boy was transgendered. Mother tells me this." Ahmad looked at me with new interest as if this excited him.
"He's not..." Tareq started to correct him, but I was getting amused by this thinking.
"Do you usually introduce yourself and state your gender history?" I looked at him as if I was offended.
"Excuse my ignorance. Is a surprise to us. You do not show signs." Ahmad started to backpedal awkwardly.
"Signs?" I looked home dead in the eyes.
"Please stop," Luca said to his husband. "You are in a hole. Stop digging."
"No, no! I do not mean to offend. I only mean he is very handsome boy. Is surprising. He is very beautiful either way." Ahmad tried to explain.
"Please keep your eyes off the one who carries my child." Tareq looked at his brother threateningly.
"I apologize, Dylan. There is no bad intention in my words." Ahmad gave up his inquisition. He nodded to me and I nodded back. No sense in starting a war.
"You are going to have the cutest baby! The two of you combined! I can't wait to see how this turns out. My friend in Rome designs the most amazing baby clothes. I've begged her to make things in my size! When will you know the gender?" Luca asked.
"Not for a few weeks I think. I haven't really researched this. I have a feeling it will be a boy. I just kind of know it." I couldn't tell them how we knew for certain.
"As long as it is healthy! Your child will never worry for anything. He will be a Zakar and will have a life of privilege." Mr. Zakar nodded at me with a smile.
"I guess this means you'll be staying here? You can't have our grandchild in America. It is a dreadful place." Mrs. Zakar looked at us as if the very idea of living in the US was abhorrent.
"I'm supposed to go home on Saturday. I haven't decided. I need to see my family. I haven't told them about this. They'll be very surprised." I realized I was torn here.
"You must convince him to stay. Travel is dangerous for the baby and the mother. We have the best care in the world here. The finest doctors will be available around the clock for you." Mr. Zakar frowned at the thought of me leaving.
"If he does not wish to stay then I send him home, but of course I shall go with him. I can not leave my mate alone, especially when he carries my child. I can not be on the other side of the world from the most important people in my life." Tareq hadn't told me that before.
"You'd go to Arizona with me?" I reached over and took his hand.
"I will go where you go. I wish you will stay here, but you are not bird I can cage. So you decide, my love. You choose the tickets and I will buy them." Tareq looked sincere.
+++--+++
"I'm pregnant," I texted Wes later that night. It was morning in Tucson.
"Me too! It's great!" he wrote back and sent a selfie with him sticking out his stomach and rubbing it. The picture showed him in his Muffin Manor uniform and I saw Ricardo in the background working the register. I missed home.
I realized there was no way he was going to believe me, especially over text messages while he was at work. I wouldn't have believed me either.
I showed my phone to Tareq who laughed. He was working on emails and had put on an information show on what to expect during pregnancy. It was about women though and I realized I should probably read the book Dr. Rammat gave me instead.
"How am I going to tell people? My family will not understand. This is too weird. I'll either be treated like a freak or a liar." I shook my head.
"You will need explain if we go to Arizona. That is, if you plan to keep it." Tareq put his arm around me and brought me into his side.
"I don't know what to do and the appointment with the doctor is Friday." I laid my head on his chest. I was so angry at Tareq, but I needed his comfort.
"So we push appointment to Saturday or Monday or when you are ready. You decide this. I can not stop you. I am here for your needs." He was trying his best to not provoke me. I knew he wanted this baby. He went through all of this deception to get it.
"I love that your family thinks I have girl parts down there." I started to laugh and couldn't stop. This pregnancy thing was making me crazy.
"Is so offensive. I shall put a stop to it. The term is called misgender and is not good to do to someone." Tareq grumbled.
"No, it's not offensive to me. At least they're accepting of it. It does help them understand what's going on without giving away the whole procedure. This way they think we just fell in love and forgot to use birth control." I shrugged.
"You are covering for the fact that I deceive you and impregnate you without the consent. You are too kind, my love. I do not deserve this. You repay my evil with kindness. I hope our child grows with your spirit." Tareq looked at me with sad gratitude.
"I don't know what to do. I miss my family, but I mostly just want to go home to piss you off. They'd send you to jail, you know. Arizona would lock you up." I poked a finger against his chest.
"If you wish for this, you can report me. But I will not leave you to wander the world without me. If this means jail, then I go to jail. But your government will likely want to study how you become pregnant. I cannot allow they harm my child... our child." Tareq put an arm around me.
"I don't want you in jail. And if we are going to go through with this then I need you close... if I decide to keep it." I rubbed my cheek against his chest.
He held me, rubbed my back, and kissed my hair. He knew I couldn't do that to him no matter how bad he'd been. We laid there like that until I heard him start to snore. I moved his computer off his lap and curled up against his chest. I reached for the remote and turned off the television so we could sleep.
+++--+++
Friday morning we went for breakfast with his parents before the doctor's appointment. I still didn't know what I was going to do, but I'd go and see what my options were. I was trying to not get attached to the idea that a life was growing inside me, even though I was constantly feeling pulled by it towards Tareq.
Tareq had spent yesterday making sure I was comfortable and entertained. We'd gone for a walk on the beach, lunch down in the marina, and even raced go-karts at a small amusement park out in the suburbs.
He was intent on giving me whatever I asked for. He even pulled off the highway and got a hotel room for us when I told him I needed his seed. We spent a passionate three hours there before returning home and missing dinner with his parents. He was desperate to make me happy.
"I usually show the new parents what the baby will likely look like based on the blood test and genetic workup. I do not think it is appropriate in this circumstance, but I will leave that up to you." Dr. Rammat glared at Tareq when we came in for our appointment.
"You can show that?" I was intrigued.
"Yes, but it is only our best guess, and if you are considering termination, then I do not advise looking. But it is up to you." Dr. Rammat moved towards the screen on the wall, ready to pull up the images.
"I will like to see this." Tareq hugged me to his side and lit up with excitement.
"You do not get a vote! I am only offering this to give Dylan his options. I do not advise it though. You are young and I do not want your decision swayed by emotions. These are only projections based off your DNA and bloodwork. This choice is yours." Dr. Rammat looked at me with unhappy eyes.
"I want to see." I nodded. "Yes, please show us."
"I can make Tareq leave the room if you wish. It is up to you if he gets to see. He already paid for the entire procedure upfront so you do not need to worry about anything no matter what you decide." Dr. Rammat was most definitely not a fan of Tareq.
"He can stay. I want him to stay." I reached for Tareq's hand and he gripped mine with gratitude.
"You are a very forgiving soul." Dr. Rammat swiped across the screen and found a folder with my name on it. He opened it to show a video file.
The video was soft piano music that started with a title screen showing both of our names and some kind of medical record number. It faded to a picture of a baby. It was a regular baby... they all kind of look the same to me. It progressed to show a boy, maybe 4 years old. He had Tareq's coloring and nose and dark hair, but with my eyes and lips and chin. He looked so handsome.
It progressed to a boy of 10 years. He looked athletic and friendly with a clean cut image. This picture faded to a teenager with budding muscles and a charming smile.
Next was a young man who looked like he was studying to be a lawyer or doctor. Maybe he would cure something or sue a big corporation who was poisoning a poor village or lead a revolution that history would celebrate.
Next up was a full grown man with stubble on his chin and over his lips. He looked accomplished and important. He looked like someone the world needed more of. He was tall and strong like Tareq. The parts that were me had subtly faded. I could still see my eyes, but it was 80% Zakar genes.
"He looks just like his father." I noted.
"Arab genes are hard to overcome. Your delicate traits will give way to his." Dr. Rammat explained.
I looked over at Tareq who stared on with a muted, thoughtful smile.
"Our baby... that's our baby," I whispered.
Tareq gave a sudden jolt as if he'd forgotten I was there. He looked at me and his eyes lit up.
"Please," he whispered. He reached up and pushed my hair out of my face then cupped a hand to my cheek. "Please, my love."
I sighed. I looked down at his chest and watched it rise and fall as his heartbeat pounded through his hand on me.
"So that is the likely boy you would produce." Dr. Rammat closed the video and brought us back to his attention.
"What do we need to do to make this happen?" I asked as if we were buying a new Honda.
"You will be assigned a monitor. You will need a room for him in your home. There is a different monitor who specializes in each stage of your pregnancy. The first one will focus on your health and wellness. There is a special diet and workout routine that should be followed. For a boy of your health and age, you should be fine regardless. However, it is recommended to follow the program for optimal health of your child and ease in delivery." Dr. Rammat pulled out a white box from his cabinet and opened it to show us an array of reading materials and supplies.
"I definitely want that. I want to give him every benefit I can." I love a program. Wes and I were always checking out the newest celebrity diets and fitness routines. We once lived for three days on apples and tuna when the new Melanie Cruz movie came out. Her body was incredible.
Tareq hugged me from behind. He put his lips against the back of my neck while rubbing my stomach.
"You will need to schedule a weekly appointment with me. Your monitor will keep detailed records of your activities, changes to your body, and your diet so we can review them together and check the baby's progress. I'm also recommending a therapist who is experienced with this procedure. He and his partner have each carried their own so he understands what you will be going through and can help sort out the damage Tareq has done to you emotionally." Dr. Rammat moved to his computer and started making notes.
"Of course. My Dylan will receive the best care." Tareq assured.
"I will send a follow up with all my recommendations, and your monitor will be at your home beginning on Monday. You must get lots of rest and avoid any unnecessary anxiety. Your body isn't just growing a new life, it is also growing the items a female body would have to support the new life. You will need a lot of rest and comfort." He kept his eyes on the screen where he was typing out his notes.
"What about travel? I'm supposed to go to Arizona tomorrow." I told him. I hadn't decided yet on that part.
"That is not possible. You would need to be near a clinic. We have offices in Los Angeles, but I don't recommend that long of a journey for you. However, if you wish to do that then you must remain there for the duration of the process. Dr. Jacobian is in charge there and I could contact him to transfer things, but the best facilities are here in Satra. It became our home base when we had to close the main center in Malaysia." Dr. Rammat looked up at me with concern.
"Oh." I sighed.
"There is also the complication of being pregnant back in your home city where everyone knows you. Society here is much more discreet. It is the optimal setting for this procedure which is why so many of our families chose to make their homes here. I also want you to consider the support group. There is one for new fathers that is small, but helpful. It is led by our chief therapist on staff. I'll have her reach out to give you the information." Dr. Rammat finished his notes.
He came back over to us and handed Tareq the box of materials and supplies. I saw there was a nice water bottle with the clinic logo on it and a small silver picture frame with a printed photo of our baby (Pregnancy swag!). Tareq thanked him and we left.
"Are you sad to stay here? We can look at the clinic in Los Angeles if you wish. I can buy a home for us. I am so happy you decide to keep this. I do not care where we go." Tareq was walking on air as he led me back to his car. His happiness made me feel better.