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I'm so overwhelmed with my emotions right now, we are both crying and I'm a mess. His words are so beautiful and my heart swells, I can't be mad at him. Not anymore, I can't.
I reach my hand up and place it on his chest, I slide it down until I reach his open hand. We lace our fingers together and he gently runs his thumb over the top of my hand, I look up at him.
"I love you Hardin."
"And I love you." He says.
I get on my tippy toes and slowly lean into him, I close my eyes and softly press my lips into his. His hands go to my waist and he pulls my body up against his, he slowly introduces his tongue into my mouth. I gently move my face to the side brushing his nose against his, I wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls away from me.
"So, can I have another chance?" He asks.
I smile.
"Yes."
Her smiles so hard before he picks me up and spins me around.
"Hardin." Playfully shriek.
He puts me down before his mouth shoots to mine again, I slowly pull away from him and he leans down and rests his forehead on mine. I run my hands up his arms and rest them on his shoulders.
"I just wanna take things slow right now." I say.
"I understand, we can go as slow as you want." He says sweetly.
"Thank you."
He moves his hands higher from my waist towards my back.
"What now?" I ask.
He chuckles.
"I don't know, I didn't anticipate we'd get this far. I thought for sure we'd end the night in screams, and not the good kind."
Back to the dirty jokes, sex is the last thing on mind, except when I'm around him.
"How about we cook? I'm hungry." I suggest.
"We can do that."
We start walking downstairs and I look at the candles as we pass them.
"We better clean these up before my mom comes back, where did they go?" I ask.
We walk into the kitchen.
"They are spending the night at Stacys, we have the house to ourselves." He says.
I turn and face him.
"Did you kick my own parents out of their house?" I tease.
He shyly looks down at the ground, he looks me up and down and I suddenly regret not wearing something nicer today. He smiles his charming smile and I have to look away before my cheeks give me away.
"No, it was actually your moms idea. She was worried about you."
I quickly turn around and face him.
"Wait, did you tell her what...."
"No of course not, she doesn't know anything."
I sigh in relief, he walks up to me and brushes my bangs out of my face before he traces my bottom lip with his thumb.
"I would never, stuff stays between us now. I promise."
I look at his lips, he licks them before he lightly smirks. My breathing hitches and my hands get sweaty, I quickly look away.
Slowly down Tessa, you just forgave him.
I clear my throat.
"So, what are we making?" I ask.
He leans against the counter and starts rolling up his sleeves.
"We can make whatever you want love."
He starts washing his hands.
Jesus.
"How about what you made me last time, the pasta."
He smiles.
"The Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo?"
"Mhmm, I liked it."
He chuckles.
"Are you making fun of me?"
I cross my arms and scold him.
"No, I just missed this." He says.
He dries his hands with the kitchen towel.
"Missed what?"
"Just being with you, that apartment is empty without you." He admits.
I suddenly feels so bad, just imagining him all alone in the apartment makes me regret telling him all those awful things. I was just so upset in the moment, I didn't mean it.
I look over at him and see that he already has all the ingredients laid out on the table, he starts shredding a block of cheese on the cutting board. I walk over to the sink and begin washing my hands.
"Hardin."
"Yes darling."
I slowly dry off my hands.
"Remember that day at the apartment, after the wedding. When I found the book."
He stops cutting the cheese and the only sound you can hear is Jerry snoring in the distance, he continues cutting the cheese.
"How could I forget." He says softly.
God.
"Well.............I didn't mean what I said to you that day, I was just angry and hurt because of the book...I..........I don't wish you were dead, I.........I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry."
He puts down the knife and turns to face me, he walks towards me and gently cups my face in his hands.
"It's ok, I know you didn't mean it." She says sweetly.
"I'm so sorry for what I said, I can't imagine my world without you."
"I know, it's ok baby. It's in the past."
"Are you sure you're not mad?" I ask.
He takes a sigh.
"I won't say it didn't hurt because it did, but I knew that in that moment you were hurting and that you just wanted to get back at me. You were able to forgive me so it's only fair that I forgive you."
"I wish I could take it back." I say.
"I wish I could take back a lot of stuff too, let's just move forward, ok?"
"Ok."
He smiles before we walks back to the cutting board.
"What should I do?" I ask.
He grabs a pot and pours the cheese inside.
"You can boil the pasta, I'll start the chicken."
"Ok."
I grab a pot and fill it with water, I put it on the stove to boil. I lean against the counter and watch him season the meat before he puts it in the oven, he washes his hands and leans against the counter and stares at me.
"So, what now?" I ask.
"Well, we have to wait for everything to cook which is gonna take like 20 minutes." He says before he sets the stove timer.
I pick at my fingers.
"So what are we gonna do for 20 minutes?" I ask.
He slowly walks up to me and places his hands on my hips, he slowly lifts me up and sits me on the counter.
"Well I have a few ideas." He says.
Oh god, he's staring at me so intensely. I feel like I'm that same girl the first night in our dorm when we first kissed, I told him I wanted slow but........maybe slow isn't the right approach.
"Hardin..." I helplessly mumble.
"Don't worry, I know you said slow. I just wanna admire you, I couldn't see you that well from that far away. I can see you much better from here."
Gosh.
"Oh."
Now I feel stupid, now he thinks that I was expecting something.
He pulls away and extends his hand, I take it and he helps me down. He leads me into the living room, he walks over to the speaker and plug in his phone. He takes a moment to pick a song, it's takes me a second to recognize the song.
(Song- "Can I be him" ~James Arthur )
He walks up to me and takes my waist in his hands, I rest my hands on his chest and gaze up at him. We slowly sway back and forth.
"Hardin..........I don't want this for us."
His mood changes and sadness washed over his face.
"What? We're only dancing."
"No, that's not what I'm talking about. Of course I want this...........I'm talking about the fighting and the breaking up. I refuse to be one of those on and off couples, I don't want that."
Relief washes over his face.
"Oh..............I don't want that either, this week without you has been hell. And I'm ready to do whatever I have to do to keep us together, I'm not making the mistake of letting you go again."
"Good."
He leans in and softly places his lips on mine, he lets his lips linger for a second before he pulls away. I smile before I rest my head on his chest, he rests his head ontop of mine and we gently sway back and forth as the next song plays.
(Song- "Quite Miss Home" ~James Arthur )
...
He serves two plates while I pour song wine into two glasses and bring it to the table, we sit down as I take a small bite.
"It's amazing." I say.
"Good, I was worried I lost my touch." He teases.
"You'll never lose your touch."
I take a sip from my glass.
I catch him smiling.
"What is it?" I ask.
"Nothing."
"Is there something on my face?"
I grab my napkin and wipe my mouth.
"No, this just brings me back to the first time we visited your parents. That night we did something similar to this."
"Oh, that was good night."
I get instant flashbacks from the hot tub and hide my smile behind my glass while I take a sip.
"Poor hot tub." He mumbles.
Wine spits out of my mouth and nose and I start coughing.
"Oh my god, Jesus Tess."
He grabs a napkin and wipes up the table while I die of coughing, this is so embarrassing. I stand up and walk to the kitchen and grab a paper towel.
"Are you ok?"
I turn around and nob my head.
"I'm *cough* fine *cough*. "
He grabs a cups and pours me some water, I take a sip.
"Thanks."
I take a few deep breaths.
We walk back to the table and sit down.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to.........scare you." He teases.
I roll my eyes.
"I wasn't scared, I was just a bit overwhelming with.......memories." I mumble.
He smiles.
"Good memories I hope."
I smile before I take another bite of my pasta.
"Good hmmmm, I don't know. I guess you'll just have to remind me." I say.
He looks at me with lust filled eyes before he takes a sip from his glass.
"You're such a tease, but I don't intend on making love to you tonight Theresa. You made the rules."
He's such an arrogant man.
"Yup space and time, lots of space. I might make you sleep down here with Jerry." I tease.
Speaking of, Jerry has been sleeping a lot lately.
"I think he would appreciate my company." He says.
"Yeah right, poor Jerry. He'll have to put up with your snoring." I tease.
He smirks before he takes another bite of his pasta.
...
Once we finished he started cleaning up the candles and I washed the dishes, he offered to do both but I told him no. While my hands are full of suds I lean into the sink to reach a cup and my hair falls in front of my face, I desperately need a haircut. I try to brush my hair back with my arm but it's no use.
I suddenly feel his breath on my neck, he gently grabs my waist before he slides his hands up and rests them on my shoulders. He gently takes my hair is his hands and pulls it back, I feel him gently braid it. I turn around to face him remembering to keep my hands in the sink.
"Thanks." I say.
He smiles before he proceeds to tuck my bangs behind my ears, I just love when he does this. I might keep my bangs long just so he can do this. He places his hand under my chin and lifts my face so I'm looking up at him, he leans in and gently pecks my lips. I lean in for more but he pulls away with a smirk.
"Rules." He says.
I quickly turn around and look back at the dirty dishes, focus Tessa. I shake my head and continue to scrub the plates, what's the matter with me. We just started getting back together and I'm already horny central, I need to calm down. I seem so desperate, I was literally yelling at him yesterday and now it's like I'm begging for dick. It has been a while............oh my god I'm disgusting. No Tessa, no sex.
...
I rinse off the last plate before I dry my hands, I turn off the kitchen lights and walk into the living room. I see Hardin sitting next to Jerry, he pets his head. I lean against the wall and watch him.
"Cute." I say.
He looks up at me and rolls his eyes before he stands up and walks up to me.
"I'm a bit tired, how about we go to bed?"
He bites his bottom lips while he smiles.
"Not the bed, such a dirty mind."
I playfully slap his arm.
"I didn't say anything."
"Yeah well I can read your mind."
"Mhmm, whatever you say Theresa."
I walk up the stairs and he trails behind me, at least these jeans make my butt look good. We walk into the room and we both just stand here.
"I'm gonna shower." I say.
"Ok, me too."
Wait does he mean together?
"Oh, well if you want you can just go first."
He smiles again.
"I meant in the other bathroom Theresa."
I'm such an idiot.
"Yeah, right."
I turn around and walk into the bathroom and close the door.
What the hell was that? Why am I acting like I'm 15 year old who has never seen another human being, Jesus.
Whatever.
I start getting undressed, I look at the braid he did in my hair. He did a good job, wow. I don't want to take it out but my hair needs to be washed, I slowly take out the hair tie and let my hair fall to my sides. Where did he even get this hair tie? I step inside the shower and start shampooing my hair, once I'm done I add in a hair mask. I look over at my razor, I mean my legs are a bit crazy at the moment. I quickly shave them.
I look down.
No, there's no need to shave that because all that you're doing tonight is sleeping. We are sleeping.
But...........
Before I even realize I'm shaving in between my legs.
I rinse off my razor and wash the rest of my body before I turn off the water and step out, I wrap a towel around my body. I open the door and look around the room, he's not here. I quickly walk into the room and grab a fresh pair of blush pink silk pajamas.
Great, granny panties...........sexy underwear.
No Tessa.
I just grab some regular black underwear and quickly run back into the bathroom, I get dressed before I plug in my blow dryer and quickly dry my hair. Once it's done I brush my teeth and brush my hair before I leave the bathroom, when I walk into the room I see him laying on my bed shirtless. He's reading a page from his book, he's only wearing grey sweatpants that hang low on his waist revealing his V- line.
Sweet cheese and crackers.
He looks up at me and I quickly look away, I walk over to my desk and sit down. I grab my bottle of lotion and start applying it to my legs, I use the remainder of the lotion on my arms before I stand up and lock the bedroom door. I walk over and slowly get under the covers, my heart is fucking racing. He closes his book and puts it down on the nightstand, we both just sit here.
"You want me to turn off the lights?" He asks.
"Sure."
He stands up and I watch him as he walks across the room and turns off the light, he climbs back in bed and sits closer to me.
...
"So...........while we were broken up, where did you stay?" He asks.
"Well, for a bit I stayed at Zach's. But I got uncomfortable staying there because he had some guy friends over, so I went to a hotel."
I feel him tense up when I say Zach's name.
"Zach.............so you an Zach....did you..."
"No, of course not. The last time I had........was with you, in the guest room at Kim's."
I pick at my fingers.
"What about you?" I ask.
I desperately hope he hasn't slept with someone else but I can't be mad if he did.
I feel him reach for my hand.
"With you, in the guest room at Kim's." He says.
I turn and look at him, his eyes pierce into my eyes.
"There's no one else I rather be with then you Theresa."
I take a deep breath because I turn my body so I'm fully facing him, I place my hand on his chest and slowly run it down his body.
"I thought you wanted to take things slow." He says.
"I know but..........I want you."
He leans into me, his lips and inches away from mine and his minty breath consumes me.
Authors note~ (Play "Heaven" By- FINNEAS)
I take both my hands and place them on his chest, he slowly slides his hands up my thighs. Our faces are so close but our lips have yet to touch.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"Yes, are you?" I ask.
Her brings his hands up and starts unbuttoning my shirt, his eyes widen when he looks down and sees my cleavage hanging out. I purposely didn't wear a bra, he looks up at me before he slides the shirt down my arms. He tosses it to the side before he lowly takes my body in his hands, his touch is soft and gentle but hungry for more. He leans in and kisses my lips before he leans his head down and kisses my chest, I run my fingers through his hair and close my eyes. A small gasp of air escapes my lips, my head falls back as he starts kissing my neck.
He lays me down and climbs on top of me, I place my hands on his face and pull him towards me, I press my lips into his and dart my tongue into his mouth. He lifts my hips and pulls down my shorts and underwear all at once, he starts kissing my thighs and lightly sucks being sure to leave marks. I pull him up towards my face, he rests his forehead on mine.
"I love you Hardin."
He smiles before she leans in and kisses me, I sit up and pull down his sweatpants to reveal that he isn't wearing boxers. I straddle his lap and he wraps his arms around me and pulls me so our chests are touching, I rest my forehead on his and just gaze into his eyes while he holds me while we hold each other. I've been away from him for so long that I forgot how good it felt to be touched by him, I missed the way his fingers know exactly where to touch and how he knows how to hold me.
"I love you Tessa."
He runs his hands up my thighs and up my back sending shivers down my spin, he kisses my collarbone and moves his kisses higher making sure every part of me gets a bit of his love. I pull him away from me and start kissing his chest, he lays back on the best and I trail kisses up his body. I run my tongue from his V line all the way up his torso to his neck, he squeezes my hips while he I lightly suck on his neck. He flips me over and spreads my thighs with his knee, I slide my hands on his back and slowly run my fingers over his scars.
"Are you sure you want this?" He asks again.
I look up at him.
"You're everything I want Hardin."
"And you're my own personal heaven Tessa."
He guides himself inside me and the instant pleasure I get completely consumes me.
He gasps.
"Oh my god." He mumbles.
He lifts my hips and I slowly move them back and forth while he slowly pumps in and out of me, I wrap my legs around his waist. He pull me close to my chest and he kisses me while he slowly pulls out and thrusts inside me.
"I.............I missed you." I mumble.
He lightly nips my neck.
"Gosh I missed you more baby." He moans.
He thrusts harder and my eyes screw shut, he leans down and takes one of my breasts in his mouth. I grip the bed sheets.
"Oh my god Tess...."
He takes my hands in his and pushes them up against the bed, we interlock our fingers.
"I love you so much." I tell him.
He pulls his lips away from my breast and hovers over my face.
"You're so beautiful." He says out of breath.
I lean my head forward and bite his bottom lip and pull his face closer to mine, I try to match my hip movements with the rhythm of his trusts. He finds my sweet spot and I have to bite my bottom lip, he reaches one of his hands down and runs his finger over my clip and my hips buckle up and he moans into my ear.
"You don't know how much I've missed this." He whispers to me.
God knows I've missed this man.
"Tess I'm...................I'm close." He whispers.
"Me too..................ah..."
He speeds up and I find it hard to control myself, god this just feels so fucking good.
He trusts one more time and I'm finished, my head falls back into the pillow and my legs begin to shake. I stop breathing as the euphoria sets in and I'm completely lost in Hardin. It's just feels so good, he feel so good. I open my eyes and see him hovering over me, he rests his forehead on mine. He's a panting mess and neither one of us has the energy to say anything, I slowly unwrap my legs from his waist. His body collapses on top of mine and he buries his face in my boobs and I feel him place a small kiss, I place my hands on his back and take a few deep breaths while I try to regain my consciousness. He lifts his head and smiles at me.
"I have been gone from home for far too long, I'm so happy I can call you mine again." He whispers.
His way with words will forever be the reason I fell for him.
"I was always yours."
He leans in and kisses my nose before he kisses my cheeks, he lays down on his back next to me and pulls me so I'm laying on his chest. He tucks my sweat filled hair behind my ears and pulls the sheets over our hot naked bodies as we press up against each other, I tangle my legs with his and trace his abs with the tips of my fingers. He lightly scratches my head and runs his fingers through my hair, I place a kiss on his chest.
"God I missed you so much Hardin."
"I missed you more baby."
He runs his hand down my back and I get goosebumps.
...
I sit up and face him, he sits up and rests his back against the headboard of the bed. I straddle his lap and his arms wrap around me, I wrap my arms around him and peck his lips before I rest my head on his shoulder and kiss his neck.
I feel so safe in his arms, I feel like nothing can hurt me when I'm with him. But I must remind myself that just because I'm safe from the rest of the world doesn't mean I'm safe from him.
But in this beautiful moment that we shared I wasn't thinking about what happened between us. All I was thinking about was him.
I rest my chin on his chest and look up at him.
"I love you, you know that right?" He asks.
I nod my head.
He kisses my forehead.