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"So what did you and Jolie do yesterday?" Nick glanced at Gia before turning back to the road as they headed to church.
Gia turned and looked at the handsome man as he focused on the road. She needed to shut down those thoughts. Focus on Jolie she reminded herself; the beautiful young foster child whose life she was trying to fill with love and consistency. Just like the love she had been raised in, with the exception of those six dark months. "We went to the Rockefeller Center planning to ice skate, but the wait was so long we left and ended up in Bryant Park visiting the Christmas booths, and then we went to an adorable tea room called Alice's Tea Cup and had afternoon tea."
"Sounds nice."
"Yeah, it turned out to be a lot of fun, but I'm still disappointed that we didn't get to ice skate. That was on my bucket list for this winter, and every time I've been there the wait is ridiculous. I don't have that much patience."
"You should go to the ice rink at Central Park, if you're not stuck on going specifically to Rockefeller Center. It usually doesn't have a line."
"Hmm. I always forget about that one. Good idea. So what about you and Jamal?"
"I gave him the choice, and he wanted to go climbing at a climbing gym we've been to a few times."
"Gia and I were just talking about finding one the other day," Evie piped up from the back.
"You two climb?"
"I go through the motions, but Gia can really do it. She gets up to the top in no time. She's like Spider-Man."
Nick chuckled. "That's an interesting visual image: Gia in a Spider-Man suit."
The church was bustling with excitement; no doubt everyone was looking forward to Christmas in a few days. Decorations were simple, but added to the nostalgic feel.
"Nick, welcome back! Coffee? I've got this fabulous latte that tastes like Christmas in a cup!" Jill's eyes fluttered as she stood behind the counter at the welcome center.
Nick grinned. "You've tempted me. I have to try it now. Gia, Evie? You guys want one?"
Evie shook her head, but Gia was curious. "I'm not really a coffee drinker, but you've got me wanting to try it too, Jill."
Jill giggled as she went about making the drinks.
Steam rose from the drink Nick passed to her. "Smells delicious." She cautiously took a sip. "Not bad. I still taste the coffee, but the other flavors almost make me not mind it."
Breaking out in laughter, Nick shook his head. "That is the point, it is coffee." He reached for the cup Jill held out, then took a sip. "Excellent. Care to share the recipe?"
One side of Jill's mouth curled up. "You might be able to persuade me."
Before Nick could respond, Nessa and Omar approached.
"Hey man. Good to have you back. How's your week been?" Omar placed a hand on Nick's shoulder and held out a hand to welcome him.
Gia grinned and eavesdropped on their conversation while also trying to talk with Nessa. Soon Scott joined Nick and Omar's conversation. Nick look like he was enjoying getting to know the guys, which brought a smile to Gia's face. She wanted him to feel comfortable at church, and hopefully he would hear what he needed to in order to help him understand he could be forgiven.
When she realized that today's was on Romans 4 she had to fight to keep from laughing out loud. God you've really outdone yourself. She'd forgotten the pastor was preaching straight through Romans. Romans 4 was a chapter on how salvation comes through faith, not the works that we do.
As the pastor preached, Gia periodically glanced over at Nick. She noticed his eyes grew wider as the sermon progressed. He seemed to be thinking hard about the topic. At one point she saw something flicker in his eyes as he sucked in a breath. Is this it God? Is he there yet, ready to be forgiven?
After the service Nick seemed nervous, like there was something inside him that could no longer be contained.
"Are you okay? Do you want to go eat somewhere so we can talk?" Gia questioned.
"I need to talk with your pastor. Do you think he'd go to lunch with me."
"I'm sure if he doesn't have plans he would love to."
"Oh, you're right, he might already have plans."
"Let's just see. Even if he does, I'm sure he'll make time to speak to you." Gia tugged his arm and led him across the worship center.
Thirty minutes later Gia found herself chatting with Evie, Nessa, Jill and Kate at a restaurant, while wondering how Nick's lunch with Pastor John was going. Scott and Omar were discussing the upcoming football bowl games, and the girls drifted out of that conversation fairly quickly. With he exception of Nessa. She hung on for a bit longer. When Gia's fork scraped an empty plate, she realized she had been so distracted, between trying to keep up with the conversation with her friends and the one in her mind, that she finished her tandoori chicken without even knowing it.
Evie looked at Gia with a raised brow. "You ready to go?"
With Gia's nod, the girls said their goodbyes. Once they were out the door, Gia could finally share with Evie her hopes for Nick and why she wasn't fully engaged in the conversation at the restaurant. As they exited the subway, both of their phones vibrated and they looked at one another.
Evie read her text first. "It's from the church. There's a special called baptism service tonight."
Gia threw her hands up and squealed before pulling Evie into a hug. "It's got to be Nick! Thank you God!" She yelled out causing a few heads to turn. She grabbed Evie's hand and started skipping down the street.
Just as they approached their building Gia's phone buzzed.
Nick: Are you home? Can I come by?
Gia: Yes & yes!
Grinning, Gia squealed again. "That's got to be it!"
~~~
Pacing back and forth across the living room, Gia came to a stop when someone knocked on the door. She glanced back at Evie, who was retreating to her room, before anxiously moving towards the door. This is what she'd been wanting, so why was she nervous? As she opened the door, it hit her that the fact he was sharing something so deeply personal with her first, would only make it harder for her to let go of her feelings for him.
"Hey." She smiled, unsure how to act. Should she mention the church text, or give him a chance to speak?"
Nick was standing there with such a relaxed smile and bright eyes. He looked happier than she'd ever seen him. "I'm a Christian, and I'm getting baptized tonight! You've got to come!" He threw his arms around Gia and spun her around.
When they finally stopped spinning, his arms still held her tight. She liked the feeling... a little too much. These arms didn't scare her like other men's arms, they comforted her, but it's a comfort she can't allow herself to get used to. Forcing herself to push back from him, she looked up into his eyes. "I'm so happy! That's what I've been praying for!" She felt tears threatening, and tried to blink them back. Why now? How embarrassing. Who cries about something like this? It's not like she was his mother, or his wife. It was the overwhelming rush of feelings, happiness, sadness, and even fear of never finding another man she felt so comfortable with, that left her emotions a wreck.
"Are you okay? You're crying." Nick's smile dropped.
"I'm fine. Just happy tears." She waved him off.
"Good, you had me worried I'd overstepped with the hug."
She was quick to shake her head.
Wrapping a hand around her arm, he pulled her to the sofa. "Today everything just seemed to click into place: the things you've said, the scripture, the pastor's sermons. Pastor John asked me some questions and said it was clear I'd become a Christian. When he asked me about baptism, I told him I'd been sprinkled as an infant, but I want to do believer's baptism. I do love God, and I'm finally willing to stop running and turn all my sin over to him. He's the only one who can absolve me from it." His grin revealed a happiness that ran deep.
"So you can come tonight, right?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"I called my parents on the way here. They were ecstatic. They've been praying for me for years."
"I can imagine. That would be hard waiting so long for your child to come around."
"Yeah, I caused them quite a bit of stress over this. I'd kind of pushed them away, just seeing them on important holidays, not wanting to feel judged. Not that they did, I was just paranoid and self conscious." His brow furrowed and he wrung his hands together.
"You can't change the past, but you can make it up to them in the future." She placed a hand on top of his and squeezed, but pulled back quickly. It felt like electricity shot through and it snapped her back to reality.
"My visit for Christmas with them is short, but I think our time together will be more meaningful this year, since I won't be avoiding conversations and pushing them away. I'm looking for-" His phone buzzed and he looked down and grinned.
Gia's stomach clenched thinking about who could make him smile.
"It's my sister. Apparently word spreads fast. Should've known. Do you mind if I text her real quick?"
"Of course not, this is an important time for your family. They're excited for you."
He nodded as his fingers flew across his phone. "I should probably get going. I just had to share." He stopped at the door and turned. "By the way, I'd like to take you to dinner Tuesday night, since you leave Wednesday. For Christmas."
Gia's eyes went wide. "Um... well-"
"Since you're my intern."
"Oh, sure, that would be nice."
"Great. See you tonight?"
"Yep." Gia forced a smile. After saying goodbye and shutting the door behind him, she leaned against it and sighed. This was wonderful, it really was, but it also left her feeling sad. Sad that after her Christmas break she needed to step back from him, for her own good. She wanted to be there for him with his fledgling faith, but it wasn't healthy. He had Madison.
~~~
"Merry Christmas! I hope it's wonderful. I have to admit I'm a bit jealous; you get to spend Christmas at the beach." Allison released Gia from her hold.
"It's not like it will be warm and balmy, but it will be much warmer than here. And the beach anytime is beautiful." Gia stood to grab her purse and satchel. Just as she was about to walk back and tell Nick she was ready to go, Chelsea sashayed by and grinned on her way to his office. Blowing out a breath, she dropped back into her chair. "Chelsea hasn't been by Nick's office in a week, and she chooses now to go?"
"Sorry hon." Allison frowned, then turned to Stephen. "You ready?" When he nodded, she gave Gia a wave and was off.
Left on her own, Gia's mind went to Nick and their dinner. She'd had enough trouble working up the courage to go on this dinner, and now having to wait for Chelsea made her lose her courage again. The thought of eating and exchanging gifts together with the one man she could see a future with, but couldn't have, pained her. It was increasingly difficult to act like she was unphased by him, especially since he became a Christian. That was the one thing that bothered her about him before, his animosity towards God, but now he had worked through that and was the whole package: good looking, compassionate, hard working, and a Christ follower.
By the time Chelsea emerged from Nick's office, Gia was sure that at least twenty minutes had passed, but a quick look at her phone showed only five. She nodded at Chelsea and said, "Merry Christmas."
Chelsea responded by looking down her nose at Gia. When Nick appeared at her desk, she stood up with a forced smile.
"Ready?"
Gia nodded.
"I'm so sorry about the wait. Chelsea was insistent she needed to discuss something." He shook his head. "Anyway, dinner?" He held out a hand.
Unsure what he was reaching for, or maybe scared to touch him, Gia awkwardly grabbed her things and stepped in front of him. All the way to the restaurant, the gift bag felt like dead weight. She had fretted over what to get him for Christmas. Their relationship felt too close to get him something generic; he'd become more than just her boss. On the other hand, she didn't want to give him something so sentimental that he thought she'd been pining after him, even though she had been. What would he think of her choice? Her eyes drifted to him as he drove to the restaurant.
She was hyper aware of everything he did tonight, holding onto each look and word tightly and storing it in her memory, since upon her return from Christmas she would force herself to step back from him. He'd helped her in so many ways. She felt so much stronger in the few months she'd known him. Little things, like no longer flinching when a man tried to shake her hand, were huge accomplishments. It was thanks to him and his gentle caring ways. He'd been so understanding, even through her panic attacks, never judging or rushing her to push through. His strength had given her confidence. And after tonight, she hoped she could prove to herself that she could maintain that, and even continue to improve, on her own. The familiar tightness in her chest began to grow, and she tried to slow her breathing.
"You okay?" Nick glanced at her and reached across the console to grab her hand.
She squeezed his hand hard and shut her eyes, before quickly releasing him and pulling her hand back as she came to her senses. Her eyes moved to the window and she realized they were parked. "Sorry, I-I'll be fine." She forced a smile.
Making small talk with Nick had never felt so awkward. Throughout the meal she nodded and smiled, asked about his Christmas plans with his family. She said all the right things, but as she watched him she felt sadness and loss. She could feel herself letting him slip away. When she returned they would be just employer and intern, nothing more.
"You don't look too good. What's going on?"
Gia looked down at her empty plate, before drawing her eyes back to his piercing ones. "Gee, thanks."
He frowned. "I didn't mean it that way. You've seemed, I don't know, sad all night."
She looked away. It was hard to hide anything from him.
"Are you not looking forward to going home?" He was genuinely concerned.
She shrugged. She couldn't tell him what was really bothering her.
"It must be hard with your grandfather gone. I'm so sorry."
Her eyes flew to his. She honestly had not even thought about her grandfather. It would be her second Christmas without him. A feeling of guilt crept in. She had no one. Her grandfather had been the last of her family. Tears threatened to fall.
Nick slid his chair closer to hers and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "It's okay. Let it out." His voice was shaky and filled with concern. When the waitress walked their way to remove the plates, Nick shook his head and she moved on. "If it will help, you're welcome to join me and my family in Clemson. If you need to get away."
She shook her head, but couldn't bring herself to look at him. That definitely wouldn't help. When her body finally started to calm, she took a couple of sips of water, and tried to subtly move away from Nick. Finally he released her. As he was pulling away, he slid his hand down her arm and squeezed her hand before pulling back.
"Feeling a little better?"
"Yeah, thanks." Gia smiled weakly.
"I have a gift for you." He lifted the bag she'd seen earlier to the table.
Gia followed suit and reached into her work tote for his gift. His eyes brightened when he saw it.
"Ladies first." He handed her his gift, but she shook her head and gave him his.
"You first." She knew if she opened his first, she'd end up fretting more about what she got him and comparing it to what he bought her. Pushing his gift towards him, she waited as he reached in and pulled out tissue paper.
The first item was wrapped in more layers of tissue, and he unfolded it to reveal an ornament. It was a cross with a baby in swaddling cloths at the foot of it and said "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" along with the year. "I love this!" He grinned at her.
"I saw it a couple of weeks ago, then when you became a Christian, I thought it would be perfect to commemorate your first Christmas as a Christian."
"What a great idea." He rotated it around. "I think I'll write the date I was baptized on the back."
"There's something else in there." She gestured towards the bag.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I was distracted with my new ornament." He grinned and pulled out a rectangle and unwrapped it. "Central Park! This is the area where we took that walk and I helped the girl who lost her balloon!" He held up the small canvas painting. "I have just the place for this on the bookcase in my office! It will be my inspiration each day when I work."
Gia chuckled, surprised but happy with his enthusiasm. It was easy to get lost in his eyes, so dark and beautiful. She blinked, trying to snap herself out of her trance, then reached for the bag he brought for her and laughed when the first thing was also an ornament. She held up the miniature pair of ice skates. "Nice! Now if I ever get a chance to actually skate."
Nick grinned. "I bought it earlier in the month when you mentioned how much you wanted to go skating."
She smiled as she reached back into the bag to find the other item that was weighing it down. "A sketch pad!" She looked at the beautiful leather bound book. It was the perfect size for carrying in her purse on outings. Nick started to speak as she opened it and realized it was actually a journal with lined pages.
"Sorry to disappoint. I thought you might enjoy writing about your year, or maybe even your quiet times. Pastor John told me that's something useful Christians do."
"Oh, no it's great." She tried to sound enthusiastic. It was nice, that wasn't the problem at all. He obviously spent a lot of money on it. The truth was, it felt fairly impersonal which sort of hurt. It shouldn't bother her. She was just his intern, so it was probably a good thing. She looked around, suddenly impatient to get home and be alone with her thoughts.
She felt anxious the entire ride to her apartment, and Nick seemed very aware of it. Her hope was that he once again thought it related to celebrating Christmas without her grandfather. After a quick goodbye with a "thank you" and pasted on smile, she entered her building and stuffed his gift in her tote. The last thing she wanted was to have to show it to Evie and face the embarrassment that he truly didn't see her as more than his intern, and definitely not as someone for whom he would spend hours obsessing over the perfect gift, unlike herself. It wasn't that she was ungrateful for the gift, but that it signified what he felt, or more to the point, didn't feel for her. Sure she had put up a front with Evie, telling her she was fine with the way things were between them, but Evie knew the truth. Deep down Gia was falling for him, and up until now had kept hoping that something more would come from it.