Brandy
Today was the first time I had taken public transit in weeks. Andrew, Benji's driver, has been driving me everywhere, especially to my internship. Speaking of my internship at Cruz Enterprises, things have been going really well. For once I feel at place like I am doing something right. I am the youngest person at the office which can be seen as intimidating on my side, but really it's powerful. I am the youngest person to work there. Me.
I've been wearing nothing but winter jackets and mittens every day because winter in New York is brutal. It's been snowing for a few days already which I am not exactly loving. Snow means no skateboarding, which for a long time used to bother me. Now that I'm not concerned about that I can appreciate the white layers over the city a little bit more.
Benji and I went shopping for Christmas decorations earlier today and now we are setting up our apartment for the season for the very first time. Christmas is in four days, so yes, we are a tad late. We bought a huge green tree—because white ones are super fucking tacky, along with a ton of ornaments and candles.
"Where did you put the skateboard ornament?" I ask Benji as I look through our shopping bags.
"It should be there," he says as he continues to wrap the lights around the tree.
"I can't find it." I sigh. "That is the only ornament that actually matters to me."
"I thought you were done with that."
"With what?"
"Skateboarding," he answers plainly. "I thought you were done with it."
I shrug. "I'm never done with it. I just haven't had time for it," I stammer. "And it's snowing now, how could I possibly go skating?"
"Well, you can't go skateboarding but technically you can go skating," he says. "Do you want to go skating? Like, actual skating. Skating on thin ice."
I chuckle. "I've never seen you skate before. You'll fall," I promise.
"I will not." He laughs. "Come on, let's go skating. I... I've never been skating before."
"How did I not know that?" I gasp. "Who the hell hasn't been skating before? Your whole childhood makes me sad."
"Well I didn't have a childhood," he jokes. "Or not the typical one, anyway. My childhood consisted of formal dinners in suits, daily piano lessons and an absolutely no laughing rule around adults."
"Okay," I sigh. "Then let's go skating."
"I'll change." He smiles.
You'd think that after almost nineteen winters in New York that I would be used to the cold, but somehow I'm surprised every time the wind blows. I shiver, shake and tremble when a rush of cold air hits me, which is practically every second.
Benji, on the other hand, is such a guy. He could be wearing shorts and a t-shirt in this weather and be totally fine. I never quite understood that. Do boys not get cold? Or are they just pretending not to be cold to pull off the whole "I don't get cold because I'm a guy" thing? Or maybe he's just a vampire.
We get to Wollman Rink and rent two pairs of skates: a size seven and a size twelve. I laugh when Benji struggles to put his skates on like he's never tied a pair of shoes before.
"I didn't tie my shoes growing up," he says. "I didn't learn until I was thirteen. Maybe fourteen, actually."
"That is ridiculously sad." I laugh. "Let me guess. The maids tied your shoes for you?"
He nods.
He tries standing up with his skates on and loses his balance. "How can this be hard for you? I've seen you skateboard and that is much harder."
"Well, I'm shit at skateboarding if you didn't notice."
"That's not true. You're good at everything," I say.
"I'm really not," he disagrees. "I just had confidence. If you act like you're good at something, people won't question you. It's what I've been doing my whole life, and see, it works. Even you believed it."
"Don't worry, by the end of this, you will be a pro, I promise."
We skate around the rink and his hands cling tightly to mine. He almost loses balance again and wraps his arm around my waist to ensure he doesn't fall. I'm shocked to see something he doesn't immediately master. My whole life I figured everything just came to him and that he didn't have to work for anything. Maybe I just assumed.
A girl rushed past on her skates like a pro, which freaks Benji out. "Shit!" He yells as she zooms past. I laugh and make hold onto him extra tightly to make sure he doesn't fall.
"I was wrong. Really wrong," I say.
"About what?"
"I think you're a lost cause, Benji. You are absolute shit at skating." I laugh.
He rolls his eyes and laughs. "Shut up."
We continue to skate in a big circle again and again until he finally picks up the tiniest sense of how to skate. "Are you ready for me to let go?" I ask.
He nods his head. "Yes. No. Yes. No... yes?" He decides.
"So which is it?" I wonder.
"Yes," he finally says.
I let go and he starts doing it all on his own. "You're doing it!" I yell proudly. "You're actually doing it, babe!"
"Don't jinx it!!" He shouts as he skates further away from me.
I laugh. "I'm going to get us some hot chocolate. Will you be okay on your own?"
He doesn't answer because he doesn't hear me. He is so caught up on skating, and so incredibly focused. I smile to myself and hop out of the rink. I get in line for hot chocolate before I'm next in line and the kind woman takes my order.
"Two hot chocolates, please. Thank you," I say as I hand her a bill.
I stand on the side as I wait for my order and watch Benji struggle to keep balance. I chuckle and shake my head.
"Brandy?" A voice says and I turn around to see where it was coming from.
"Miles?" I say. "What are you doing here?"
He chuckles. "Skating?"
"Oh, shit." I laugh awkwardly. "Duh. How... how are you?" I haven't spoken to him, basically since Benji's disastrous nineteenth birthday party.
"Good, good. How are you?"
"Cold," I say. "Hence the hot chocolate."
"And the three layers of jackets." He laughs.
"I don't do well in cold weather," I admit. "Are you here alone?"
"Actually, I'm here with my girlfriend," he says, which surprises me to hear.
"You—you have a girlfriend?" I stammer.
"Jamie," he says. "I met her at school... pretty much right after Benji's party."
"Oh," is all I say. "Jamie, huh?"
I grab the two hot chocolates from the counter.
"Are you here with Benji?" He asks.
"He's, uh, on the rink right now." I point him out.
"Wow, he sucks." We laugh. "I mean, I'm sure other than skating, he's great."
"Let's not..." I chuckle awkwardly.
"I'm sorry about that night. I shouldn't have come," he apologizes.
"Miles, that really wasn't your fault. It's almost been a month and I just want to move on," I explain.
"Fair enough," he says. "Will I see you around?"
I nod. "I hope so."
I watch Miles run off to Jamie, who is absolutely stunning, by the way. He wraps his around her shoulder and she buries her face in his chest. I'm happy to see him happy. Miles is a great guy. I just wish we could be friends, but with Benji... I'm not so sure.
I enter the password to our locker and pull out Benji's camera. I wait for him to get closer before moving the camera right beside my left eye. I take a few candids as he skates and then check them out afterwards. I smile as I click through them, each one better than the last.
"Benji!" I call out and he comes up to me.
We sit down on the cold bench and sip our hot chocolate. I show him the pictures I took of him as he seems to love them.
"I ran into someone," I say mysteriously.
"Oh?" He says, sipping on his drink.
"Miles," I say quietly.
"Oh..." he says again. "How was that?"
"Good. He's good. He has a girlfriend now—Jamie," I explain.
"Oh," he says again.
"Is that all you have to say? Oh?" I wonder.
"What do you want me to say, B? You want me to say, 'Oh, awesome! I love that guy!'" He says sarcastically.
I scoff. "You could if you wanted to," I say. "Miles is a nice guy, Benji. And I want to be friends with him again. But you... you make it seem like I shouldn't be friends with him."
"I don't trust him."
"Well, he doesn't trust you," I tell him. "I'm just telling you, I might see him again. I want you to know that."
He shrugs. "Do whatever you want, Brandy. But when he inevitably makes a move on you, don't say I didn't warn you."
"He has a girlfriend now."
"That doesn't stop guys," he says. "Trust me, I know."
I scoff, feeling incredibly disgusted. "Excuse me? You have a girlfriend." I cross my arms. "So if a pretty girl made a move on you, you would just give in? Right? Because having a girlfriend doesn't stop guys."
"No, no, no. I don't mean me. I mean guys who are assholes. Guys who cheat. I have a lot of friends who constantly cheat on their girlfriends and it doesn't faze them," he explains.
"Well then maybe you should get new friends."
"I have. I meant high school. And the guys who still do that, I don't talk to them. I don't really have real friends, Brandy. Everyone I talk to, that's all I do. I talk to them, I'm polite to them. We don't hang out."
"The only real friend I have is you," he adds.
I sigh. "I don't want to talk about this. Can we just have one drama-free day? Please?"
"Too late for that but okay," he agrees.
We ask a woman walking by to take a photo of us on Benji's camera. Considering how much time the two of us spend together, we have a surprisingly little amount of pictures together.
"It's so cute!" I say as I get a closer look at it. "You look so handsome." I squeeze his adorable face.
He chuckles. "I look like a dork. You, you look nice."
"Can you send me that?" I ask.
"Sure, of course." He smiles.
We sit in the freezing cold, his arm wrapped around me, my face buried in his chest, hot chocolate beside us, and I think to myself, 'this is exactly how winter should be spent.'
—
Hi everyone and happy Friday! I hope you all liked this winter-themed chapter. It's funny considering it's the middle of freaking summer but oh well !
I haven't been doing too well in terms of staying on track with my writing for this book, or just in general. I have had a busy two weeks recently and my mind has been in a lot of places. But on the bright side, the things that are going on in my life are giving me a lot of inspiration in terms of writing for this book.
Gosh, if the people I knew, knew I was writing this stuff... I would never see the light of day. Do you know what I mean lmao? If you write on a secret page, I'm sure you do.
Anyway, a new chapter coming tomorrow so stay tuned.
Xoxo,
Beth