Hero
"Have you thought of any names?" I ask Jo as she's laying on our L couch longways and I'm laying on the long part rubbing her legs that are resting on my stomach. It's now may and Jo is due in about three months, she just had her baby shower yesterday and it was amazing and went perfect with all our family and friends. Even though some people couldn't fly in, it still was amazing and they still sent gifts to Jo. t We haven't decided on a name, even though we should of by now.
"Nadia? Mayla? Mallory?" She says and rests her head back and laughs. "Actually, none of those. I can't decide." she sighs.
"Okay, we have to pick soon so we mind as well make it now." I grab the pencil and paper from next to me on the nightstand. "Let's start," I say smiling at her and she sits up. "Okay, so how do we start this?" she questions.
"Okay well, we don't have to name the baby after anyone important in our families..unless there is a girl you want to name or have the name similar to?" I ask. She shakes her head, "There isn't anyone so we don't have to worry about that."
"Okay, there's that. What name have you wanted to name your daughter since you were little?" I question. "I want you to decide too, not just me." she says and I look at her. "Okay, then ask me something." I say and adjust myself and she sits up. "What have you ever wanted to name your daughter or son growing up?" she smiles and asks and I look up at the ceiling. "Hmm.. John." I say and she laughs. "John!?" she says throwing her head back in laughter. "Hey, I don't know. This wasn't a topic I thought a lot on growing up." I say.
"Okay, any girls names? And tell me it's not Johnanna." she jokes and I roll my eyes. "Of course it's not that. I always like N starting names. I'm not sure why." I say.
"I love N names for a baby, they always come out so gorgeous or cute." she says and I nod. "Okay, N names." I say. "We also need a middle name." she points out. Shit. This is going to be damn harder than I thought. "Now, what girl names start with N..?" I question, because I don't have a clue-, then one popped into my head. "I kinda like Nora?" she says and I say, "Nora, maybe?" at the same exact time and we look at each other and she jumps over to me quickly straddling my lap. "Nora! We name her Nora?" she says putting her hands around my face and I throw the paper and pencil on the coffee table across from me and place my hands around her waist. "I love it baby, and I love you." I say planting a kiss on her forehead. "I love you too." she says caressing my face. "I want to do something special for you for the middle name.." I say and I'm actually scared to say this but the idea popped in my head and I feel like we need to do it.
"And what's that?" she smiles.
"Bella, her full name would be Nora Bella Fiennes Tiffin..if you like it. Bella is her middle name because didn't you wanna name..the baby Isabella if it was a girl?" I say and she smiles at me. "Well..yeah."
"Then it works, the name can be apart of her."
"I love you and it's perfect." she says and kisses me. "We now need to work on her room," she says getting off me and pulls me off the couch and pulls me up the little stairs that leads to our old room, which is now downstairs. And two other bedrooms. An empty one, and one I made into an office. Our old room is now an guest room. She pulls me into the empty room filled with everything she got at the baby shower. "This is gonna be the perfect room, can we start decorating it?" she asks. The wall is a neutral tan, wouldn't she want to paint it? "Do you want me to paint it?" I question. "I kinda like this color, we can make it kinda like a plant or nature like bedroom! Wouldn't that be cute?" she says and I go into the closet and pull out the grey rug to put down on the hardwood. "I think that would be perfect." I say and begin rolling the rug out. "Move all that stuff and let's get to decorating." I say and she jumps and smiles pushing everything out of the room as I put the rug down. I then nail in some shelves in the room and then put in a bookshelf. I kept everything random really in the guest room because we had already bought stuff for the baby's room but put off decorating for a while.
I then put in a rocking chair near the bookshelf and take the crib box in the hallway and begin putting the white crib together. "I'm gonna go out to the store and get last minute decorations, okay?" she says leaning down next to me planting a kiss on my cheek. "That's perfect." I say and she goes downstairs and I rub my temples and begin to try and put this crib together.
She comes back about an hour later and I'm almost done with the crib. She walks upstairs with a bag and a box. "What'd you buy?" I ask putting the last finishing touches on the crib. "A bunch of fake plants, and some cute decorations. Could I use the hammer and a few nails to put up a shelf?" she questions. "Yeah. Oneeee second." I say nailing the last nail in then I plop up. "Done." I say and look at it around. I did a pretty damn good job. "I love it." she smiles kissing my cheek. "Let me put these shelves up and then we can put it in there, okay?" she says and I nod wiping my forehead and placing my hand on my hip.
She walks into the room and by the time being I decide to go downstairs and watch tv and make us both some virgin strawberry cocktails because she can't drink.
About an hour and a half later she yells my name and I grab her drink that I put in the fridge and run up and I walk into the room and she wipes her forehead. "Baby, this looks amazing." I say and it's shelves on the wall with fake plants and some little decorations and Big Letters in a zig-zag spelling N-O-R-A above the crib. "I feel bad you did all of this, I should be doing that." I say placing my arm around her. "I feel fine, it's no problem." she says and smiles.
We begin to move the crib in and then she goes in the closet and grabs the grey blankets and we both set the crib together and adding little toys in a basket by the dresser for when the baby is old enough to play. "I think we did a pretty nice job." she giggles as I place my arm around her waist. "I think we did a perfect fucking job." I say as we look around the room.
I can't believe this is my life now, I'm engaged to the love of my life and we are expecting a child in our home. Some may say to make your life even better is to be on good standards with anyone you are on bad standards with but I just can't do that, I can't become close with my family again, it depends who honestly and if they have changed in two years. I'm turning 24 this year and so is Jo. We can't wait around for family who can't accept us, because nothing is going to happen between me and Jo. I love her with everything in my being and I wouldn't even let anything happen between us, I'm never leaving her and she sure as hell will not leave me. I will never give her a reason to leave me again, after our rough past, I wouldn't do anything like what I've done. I care about her so much to ever lose her. I know she was talking to me about getting a new movie to shoot soon which worries me. She hasn't shot a movie since october last year and right after that she got pregnant. I don't want her leaving, if she has to. I know it's coming though because she brought it up the other day how they are calling her today and I'm getting more anxious and stressed as the hours go by. I can't have her leave, I know it's not her leaving me and it's just to shoot a movie but no one in the fame industry or her team knows she's pregnant. How will she hide that? She can't, there's no way. Jo is a private person so there's not way she would ever just post it letting her followers know about it, she loves her supporters more than anything but privacy comes first.
"I'm so tired." she yawns as we walk out of the room shutting the light off and then closing the door. I rub her shoulders, "Maybe you should get some rest?" I question.
"I want to, but what if I get that call?" she says which makes me tense up, you see I don't want you even getting a call.
"I don't know, I'm sure you could.. wake up if you hear the phone call." I say and she shrugs walking down the stairs with me and she opens our bedroom door and plops on the bed resting her phone right on the nightstand. I just laugh and walk out of the room and into the kitchen. I begin just getting myself a glass of lemonade and just look out the large window at the city of london. A beautiful sight and a beautiful place to be-, and then that's when I hear it. Jo's light sighs and breaths as I left the bedroom door open as she's fell fast asleep. I go into the bedroom, gently over to her phone and begin putting the ringer off. I can't have her take this job and leave again. It's just not going to happen. I rush out quickly hoping she won't wake up to the call.
I then go onto the couch and put a show on and then rest myself.
I hear talking as I groan as I'm laying flat on the couch and rub my eyes with my palms and look up running my hand through my hair and flicker my eyes to see something that I didn't want to see. Jo standing in the kitchen, with her white tank top and grey cardigan on and her black leggings with her little bump, her hair curled and slightly messy from her sleep, smiling and nodding to herself as the phone is up to her ear. "Of course!" I hear her say and I jump up so quickly rushing to her. I lean against the counter and just tap my finger on my cheek impatiently waiting for this damn phone call to be over.
"I will let you know, but I would love to." she says. "Alright, thank you." she adds then places her phone on the counter. She looks at me, "What?"
I raise my eyebrows and pin my lips together, "Anything you wanna tell me? Something you will let someone know on and you would love to do? What is it, Jo?" I ask and she bites her lip trying not to speak. "Is it about a damn movie Jo?" I ask and she looks down. "Jo? Is it about that mother fucking movie?" I shout backing up and placing my hands on my workout grey shorts and adjust my black tank top. "Calm down-" she begins before I pin my lips together and furrow my eyebrows. "Calm down? Why the fuck won't you just tell me what was asked and said on the phone call, Jo. Go on, tell me." I say.
"If you would let me speak, I would tell you." she says and I cross my arms. "I got asked to film a romance film and the filming starts end of june." she says and I tense up.
A.
Fucking.
Romance?
I will love and support Jo in everything she does but this, I don't know how to feel. I don't get jealous, I get protective and seeing a movie and knowing another guy has to be all over Jo, no fucking way and she shouldn't be agreeing to this shit either.
"And you already agreed without talking to me?" I say.
"I said I would let them know."
"Fucking bullshit, you want to do the movie. With another love interest who's going to loving and touching all over you. Especially when your pregnant with my child and I don't want anyone's hands on you. I don't care. Your mine, no one else's and I won't fucking let some random-" I begin before she cuts me off coming over to me pushing the strand of hair off my face. She makes it hard as fuck to actually be pissed or mad at her when she's looking so fucking hot and innocent right in front of me and trying to calm me down, but this I can't just calm down. "There's not any major sex scenes in it.. it's nothing even that bad Hero. I need to just read the script then I'd decide."
"I don't give a fuck." I shrug pushing her hands on my shoulders off me. "I don't want someone else touching you."
"It's just act-"
"Don't give me the bullshit of its just acting or it's nothing real. News flash, I don't give a fuck what it is, really. No one else is touching you and especially since there's sex scenes in that? No fucking way." I shrug. "I'm sorry, I'm not allowing you to do that." I add and she shakes her head leaning her hands up on the counter resting her head down, with a sigh and fake laugh. She fakes laughs putting her head up, "You're not allowing me?" she scoffs. "What am I to you? Some child? That you own and allow to do things?" she says and I tense and rub my temples. "You know that's now what I'm trying to say." I scoff.
"Then what are you trying to say? Because please fill me in because it is sure sounding like what I said." she says and runs her hands through her hair.
"Your pregnant. With my child."
"I'm very aware of that." she says and I shake my head. "Why are you so fucking difficult? Don't take the fucking role! It's that easy! You know nothing about it, don't take it, see it's that easy to just say and to do." I say.
"You told me once, you'll never get in the way of my career. Now, look at you."
"Getting the way of your career!? I'm not trying to have my fiancé in a fucking sex film, do I not have any right to have a decision on this?" I ask, geneuinly wanting to know the anwser.
"This is my career, Hero. This is what I do. Acting. When I get offered or audition for a role I'm supposed to my job, act." she says sitting up on the stool at the island.
"Should of stayed the fuck asleep so you could of missed the call." I say. "Don't even know how you woke up to it." I add.
"You wanted me to miss the call?"
"Well-"
"You turned my finger off?" she scoffs into a fake laugh. "I did, not for the reason your thinking."
She shakes her head, "Your absolutely unbelievable trying to get in the way and hurt my career. So unbelievable."
"I'm not trying to do that and you know it." I scoff.
"Well apprently I don't know anything so, maybe I don't know it." she shrugs and stands up and begins walking into our room grabbing her coat and keys. "What the fuck are you doing?" I sbout.
"I can't even deal with you right now, so I can not stay in the same place as you right now." she says trying to push past me out the doorway put I don't let her, by blocking it.
"Hero. If you don't-"
"I'll sleep on the couch, upstairs, the baby room floor. I don't care but this is exactly what I don't want. You leaving."
"What do you mean me leaving?" she asks.
"I don't want you to leave, so don't take the role. Obviously I don't want you to those types of scenes but I just don't want you leaving, I fucking hate when you leave." I admit.
"I don't like leaving you."
"Then don't." I say my voice slightly cracking at the end.
"But sometimes I have too, for my career. Remember..." she says caressing my face. "Jo, believe me. I know."
"I'm sorry. Can we talk about this later... or tomorrow.." she begins. "Please, tell me you aren't leaving right now."
"Hero-"
"Jo. Please."
"I'm not leaving." she says and I pull her into my arms and kiss her forehead sighing pulling her into a tight hug.
*************
hey lovesss sorry I haven't updated school was starting so things got stressful but awf came out today!!! in some countries (not mind yet) but i've seen some spoilers and it looks AMAZING and they look so hot. holy fuckkkk anyways, comment and vote.
Much Love, A♡︎