More Than Fine. (Complete)

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Sometimes we hold ourselves back. We tell ourselves we're fine, when the reality is we're just barely gettin... Mehr

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55- MTF Beauty from Ashes
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5- MTF Feng Shui

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     "What's got you staring so hard at your phone?"

     "Hmm? Oh, it's an email I got yesterday at work," Gia answered her roommate while rubbing her forehead.

     "And...?"

     "It's... I don't know if I should do it." Evie was clearly confused by the cryptic words Gia was saying. "It's a mentoring program for kids who are in the foster care system, have been bounced around a lot, and need some consistency in their lives."

     "That's cool. I've dealt with some kids during my in class rotations who would fit that, and they absolutely need someone loving on them consistently."

     "Yeah, it sounds like a great program, I just don't know if it's for me or not. I'm only sure I'll be here for a year, so how is that consistent for a kid, if I end up leaving? Also, I just don't know if I'm emotionally equipped to help these kinds of kids."

     Evie moved from the kitchen table to the sofa next to Gia, and handed her a cup of hot tea. "I think you underestimate yourself. I know you think you're broken, and just getting by in life, but I have every confidence that you are going to continue to grow and move beyond your past. It may have affected who you are today, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. You're a caring person and a lot stronger than you think. The fact that you've come so far after your past experiences, might just be what some young person needs to hear. And who knows, you might be placed with someone in a similar situation to what you were, and you might be able to give them the courage to speak up. God can use your hurts and past to do great things. He sees beyond the limitations we set for ourselves." Evie noticed her roommate's eyes starting to glaze over, and she squeezed Gia's arm. "Hey, you okay? I will say, that if you do this, you should probably start seeing a therapist again. I can get you a name from the list of those the school recommends."

     Gia felt Evie's hand on her arm and worked to stay grounded in the moment. She nodded. "Yeah, you're right, I'll do that. The mentoring program has a location not too far from here. It's at the Harlem YMCA. They have Saturday hours. Would you be up to going by with me today, so I can talk to someone. Maybe that will help me decide."

     "Works for me. I don't have anything on my schedule for today."

~~~

     "Hi ladies. I'm Brad Thompson. The front desk told me you're interested in the Forever Friends program for young people in foster care."

     Gia side eyed her friend and tried to keep from laughing at the fact that Evie says guys named Brad are usually hot. Evie would definitely put this Brad in that category. The fact that he worked at a gym would be obvious to anyone, and he had the features that Evie usually raved about. Gia had to admit, he was good looking, but not as much as Mr. Bellanti. "Yes, I'm Gia. I'm trying to find out more about it, before I decide if it's something I can commit to. My friend Evie here, just came to keep me company.

     "Great! I can show you some of the areas the mentors use, and go over how it works." Brad started leading the way through the halls. We ask that mentors meet with their student once a week. You are welcome to get with them more. Sometimes in the summer, or when school is out, mentors will try to meet up more often. It's also always a good idea to try and go to some of their extra curricular events occasionally, if they have something they participate in, like sports, music, dance, or even academic clubs. Here we are." He pointed to an open door revealing a gymnasium. "This is a great place to shoot some hoops and let off steam. Mentors are able to use the facilities for free any day they meet up with their mentee. For each day you meet with them, you will also get a free pass that you can use another day at any one of the YMCA's of greater New York." He continued to show them locker rooms, a sauna, an indoor pool, exercise rooms, weight rooms, a lunge area, and even study corals that had been set up for the program.

     Eventually they wound their way back to Brad's office where he pulled out a mentoring packet. After skimming through it, Gia looked up and winced. "It asks for a commitment of one year, but I've only got eleven months left at my current job."

     Brad nodded and rubbed his chin. "If all of your paperwork checks out, I'd say we could make an exception. That's awfully close. And of course, you could keep in touch after the eleven months by phone. But either way, don't worry about it." He gave her a relaxed smile.

     "Okay then." She smiled back, and her eyes shifted from his to a picture on the wall behind him. "Mr. Bellanti participates in this program?"

     Brad smirked and looked back at the picture that had caught her eye. Turning back to her, he commented, "He more than participates, he's the founder of the program. That was taken at the opening of this location a little over two years ago, but he started The whole thing with the Vanderbilt location. Then the West Side location opened two years later, and a Chinatown location is in the works. Nick's a great guy, and has give a good deal of his own money towards the program too, as well as helped raised funds for it. Do you know him?"

     Evie chuckled. "Know him? He's her internship mentor at Morgan Stanley."

     Brad looked impressed, and crossed his arms. "So, you're into finance too? He's certainly the one to learn from. He's apparently done very well for himself for someone only a couple of years older than me. So, any questions?"

     "I can't think of any, but I'll look it over and try to make a decision by Monday. Would that work?" Gia asked.

     "Sure. The sooner the better, so we can do a background check and get you matched up. You can fax the papers over to save a trip." Brad stood up from his desk to escort the ladies back out, and with a handshake and a wink, they were on their way back to the apartment.

~~~

     By Sunday night, Gia had decided to do the mentoring program, and arrived at work early Monday to get the papers faxed to the Y. Minutes later, she entered Mr. Bellanti's office ready for their morning meeting feeling satisfied with her decision. It might take a lot out of her emotionally, but it would force her to push past her own pain, and use it for the benefit of someone else.

     "You seem particularly happy this morning," Mr. Bellanti commented.

     "I am." Gia smiled at him, but hesitated to say why, so as not to take up their meeting time. Then she remembered that he was the one who founded the program, and decided maybe he would like to know. "I just signed up for the Forever Friends program."

     Mr. Bellanti's brow furrowed. "Oh, that's great. They're always looking for new mentors." The look on his face didn't agree with his words.

     "I thought you would be happier, since you're the founder of the program."

     His jaw tensed and he looked flustered. "I... uh, try not to make a big deal of that, but I am truly glad you're participating." He shrugged, and shuffled some papers on his desk.

     "It's kind of personal for me," Gia explained. She squeezed her eyes shut, before adding softly, "My parents died in a car crash ten years ago, and I ended up living with my grandfather. I often wonder what would have happened if I didn't have him." Once again she felt drawn to share personal details with him.

     Mr. Bellanti's eyes flickered with emotion, while he watched her. "Did you go to live with him right after their death?"

     Gia stared at him, feeling like she had been punched in the gut, as a flood of emotions rushed through her. Her eyes fell down to her hands as she squeezed and released them, then she slowly shook her head. "I lived with my aunt and her... husband for about six months before moving in with my grandfather."

     "You don't sound happy about that. Not a good fit?"

     With her breathing becoming erratic, Gia's eyes shot back up to his. "It's... not something I can talk about. Do you have a list of action items to discuss for the day?" There was pain in Gia's eyes, and she fought back tears.

     Reaching forward across the desk, Mr. Bellanti squeezed her arm. "I'm so sorry about your parents, and the situation with your aunt and uncle. Whatever it was. You deserved better." His voice was gentle and soothing.

     Even his eyes seemed to show he was sincerely concerned, and she longed to tell him more. To help him understand her better. There seemed to be a pain in his eyes, the same pain she had caught glimpses of, that pain that matched hers. A light seemed to come on. "Were you in foster care? Is that why you started the program?"

     "No." His demeanor changed, and he offered no more information. "Let's get started with our work, shall we?" It was more of a statement, as he handed her a list, and a blank look came over his face.

     She longed to know why he started the program for foster kids, but it was clear she would get nowhere today. There were obviously things he hid from others, just as she did. Things that lurked under the surface silently affecting their lives.

~~~

     Days passed and nothing more was said about mentoring, or the fact that she had lived with her aunt and the man she married. Gia was thankful he had not pushed the issue. She and Mr. Bellanti worked surprisingly well together. His hands-on, logical approach to teaching her things meshed with her learning style, and her organizational skills and up to date software knowledge complemented his ares of weakness.

     In the middle of putting together a spreadsheet, Gia heard a voice clear next to her. She looked up to see Mr. Bellanti holding the picture frame that had been sitting on her desk.

     "Your grandparents?"

     Gia nodded. "That's the grandfather I told you I lived with."

     "Where was your grandmother when you lived there?"

     "She died of ovarian cancer the year before my parent's wreck."

     "I'm so sorry," Mr. Bellanti said as he placed the frame back on the desk.

     Gia looked at the frame, then at Mr. Bellanti. "It seems like you say that to me a lot."

     He frowned. "It's true. I hate that you've suffered so much for someone so young."

     "I'm fine." Then Gia's eyes caught on the picture that Mr. Bellanti was still touching. "Maybe in the words of my grandmother that were often quoted to me by my grandfather, one day I'll be 'more than fine'." Even as she spoke the words, she doubted them.

     "Hopefully." He lifted his hands from the frame. "Anyway, the reason I came out here, was to ask if you could go to lunch with me today. I know this is last minute, but I'm meeting with our attorney's assistant to go over some legal documents, and I'd like you to get familiar with that aspect of the business as well. We would need to leave at 11 to get to the restaurant." He looked at his watch. "So that leaves you an hour and a half. Can you do it? I'll help you if there is something you're worried about finishing up."

     She looked at him funny. "I can do it." A smirk rose on her face, and she chuckled as he furrowed his brow. Gia reached across her desk and adjusted the position of the picture frame he had been looking at.

     After watching her hand pull back from the frame, his mouth quirked up. "Are you serious? You're that OCD?" He joined her laughter, and Gia covered her mouth when she noticed some of their coworkers watching.

     At least Stephen and Allison were on break, or they would have been seriously distracted. Gia wrinkled her nose. "I couldn't help it. You set it down in the wrong spot, then wouldn't leave. I tried to wait until you were gone, but it was killing me. You were messing with my feng shui."

     "Feng shui?" Mr. Bellanti continued to laugh. "You really do that?"

     "No. I have no idea how to do that." Gia raised both hands and started chuckling again as well. "But I do like things a certain way.

     Mr. Bellanti smiled. "Good to know. I'll come by your desk at 11."

     Gia nodded. "It's a date." She frowned realizing what that sounded like. "Sorry, that didn't come out right. It's a meeting. That still sounds weird. You know what I mean." She flung a hand over her face, then waved him away with the other.

     Chuckling, Mr. Bellanti finally left, and Gia cracked an eye open to see Allison standing in his place with an eyebrow quirked up.

     "Long story." Gia shook her head and got busy with work.

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