I hate Barney's yellow teeth.
I mean, seriously, you can't even tell how many hundreds of things have been and that mouth has NOT been washed. Hey, I'm serious about excessive teeth brushing and maintaining a set of teeth. So, guys, smile while you still have teeth, but if you brush your teeth well, we can smile together as old men and women.
"So... where are the balloons? And the cake? Or is there pizza? Because I've already ordered Papa John's... maybe this is an ice cream party. Oh, and by the way, I don't know what the address for this place is so I'll need that to place my Papa John's order." I said.
I was trying to buy time so someone could, like, save me (after they notice I exist and I'm missing) anytime this century. Super excited to leave this boring ice cream party, by the way, if you didn't know.
"Hmm, Barney, what ACTUALLY is the address? I don't know. I wish you told me stuff..." Fred trailed off, "But you can tell me? Seriously, I'm curious. Do airplanes have addresses? Speaking of airplanes, do ships have addresses?" Fred asked.
"Shut up. And what exactly does airplanes have to do with ships again?" I asked, annoyed.
"Hey, little girl! Stop that. It's none of your business. Well, she's right. You should shut up." Barney said.
"I thought we were buds! I thought we had each other's backs!" Fred said quietly, and sadly, if I may add. I feel bad for the guy.
If I weren't tied up to a pole, he'd be clutching his abdomen. No, a little lower than that. Maybe I'll be strong enough to lift my best friend, the pole, and YEET him (yes, it's a guy, deal with it) at Barney.
Not the biggest fan of giant creepy purple dragons here.
I once again smelled the faint scent of drugs before I blacked out once more.
___________
Barney is so annoying. Yes, I just noticed. I'm a late bloomer, I apologize sincerely, and I could even write an apology note to you too because I'd rather do anything than peel seven thousand bananas.
I have no idea why I'm peeling bananas, so maybe that's why he 'kidnapped' me. To peel bananas. I hope Barney slips on one of the peels, breaks his head and dies. Ah, my brain is so optimistic and happy and joyful these days while I'm stuck on a never-landing airplane. How great.
I could give you twenty reasons why Barney sucks, but 1) you probably want to know what's going to happen to me (thanks for worrying about me, by the way) and 2) I don't have the time, since peeling banana peels was my only job and I had about 6 thousand to go.
The main reason why Barney sucks is because he's always like: 'Oh, little girl? You offended me! Okay, let's gag her so she can't talk and annoy me anymore.'
And even if I'm silent, he's like: 'Oh, little girl's not talking. Let's drug her anyway because it's just fun.'
"Just fun" is a stupid phrase he uses anyway.
"HEY! LITTLE GIRL! HURRY UP AND DO YOUR JUST FUN JOB! HURRY UP, I NEED THOSE BANANAS PEELED BY TWO O'CLOCK! HURRY UP THE PACE!" Barney yelled from wherever he was on the plane. I hope he crashes. I know I'll die, but at least he will be too. I want to die knowing that this Barney guy was dead.
"What are you doing with the bananas anyway? Are you planning to feed a who planet of minions? Can I join them? Where are you going to drop the bananas off? Because I think that's my stop."
He sighed, but he didn't get his magical drugg-y thingy because he wanted me to peel bananas unless- uh-oh. Did he want me to peel bananas in my sleep? I hope not. The only multitasking thing I can do is annoy, talk to, and irritate Lysander all at one time.
Right now, I'd do anything to be annoyed by Lysander. Ugh, why did my stupid self make this so cheesy? Cheesier than cheese. Is that even possible? I paused on peeling my banana, but somehow, miraculously, Barney had some sensor to know whenever I stopped peeling his stupid bananas.
"GIRL! HURRY UP, CONTINUE PEELING YOUR BANANAS! YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME, AND IF I DON'T GET MY BANANAS NEITHER OF US WILL BE HAPPY!" Barney yelled from the other side of the plane. Maybe it's because of my hearing, influenced by Lysander, if you remember, of course.
At least he said 'girl' instead of 'little girl.' He's making tiny improvements, like ones the size of an atom. Maybe two atoms.
"Hey, Peppa!" I said.
Apparently Barney has super hearing as well, so he heard me. "WHO'S PEPPA?" He asked loudly. I'm sure whatever city below us can hear us scream.
"Peppa is..." I trailed off, "a better and more efficient way to say Barney." I stifled my laughter, explaining to a 60 year-old who Peppa is.
Peppa is literally the most terrifying, cartoon-y pig you'll ever see. She's from a children's show (don't ask me, I have no idea how children aren't traumatized) and she's like, from what I've searched up, 10 feet tall.
"Then call me Peppa. I need to be more efficient. Yeah, that's good. NOW PEEL MY BANANAS. Does Peppa eat bananas?" He asked.
"Pigs eat anything... even sticks, by the way."
"Oh... okay, then. Are you done peeling my bananas? I need to change my diet if Peppa usually eats sticks."
He's so stupid it's funny. Stupider than Lysander AND Bob AND Sid combined. That's saying a lot.
I didn't say anything. "You can go back to doing whatever you were doing, it's just me here with... my six thousand unpeeled bananas." And Barney wasn't that terrifying anyway. He didn't even know who Peppa was, for God's sake.
"MY six thousand unpeeled bananas, you mean." He corrected me.
"Yeah. Your... six thousand unpeeled bananas."
And when he left, I stuffed a banana in my mouth. I'm desperate for food now. It's been a WHOLE TWENTY FOUR (or maybe that's what it felt like) YEARS SINCE I LAST ATE!
And I don't even know the address for wherever we are anyway.
Then I heard Fred whispering to Barney. Well, it wasn't whispering because I heard, it was more whisper-yelling.
"What are we going to do with her when she's done peeling those bananas?" Fred asked Barney.
"Not sure." Barney replied, probably doing something else as he was talking to Fred.
"Are we going to return her where we got her like the rest of them?" Fred asked.
'The rest of them?' They kidnapped other girls? Oof, that's illegal, buddies, can't wait to see your faces when you get to jail.
"Maybe we'll drop her off somewhere in the Pacific Ocean on our ways to headquarters. I think this experiment will be the best one yet. After she's done peeling my bananas, though." Barney replied.
Signaling that he was getting excited and he was probably planning on doing something evil, his voice got louder.
Was he trying to take over the world? Be in control of all that mess? No thank you.
Then I heard footsteps coming and started to quickly peel my, cough, excuse me, BARNEY'S bananas.
Barney came with an evil grin before he said, "About that address, little girl. Tell the pizza man to meet you at the hospital. That is, if you survive."
I might not make it out of this alive.
________
Woohoo! We made it to the end of Chapter Twenty-One! When the climax REALLY hits, yay!
But some good news - after a few more very dangerous events, Lysander and Julia will finally go through some things together (like the ship you guys ship and stuff..). That is, if they make it out alive.
I don't hate comments, but please keep rude ones to yourself. And you can ship those two in the comments - I'm fine with it, I ship them too. But if someone else ships Julia with someone else, no hateful comments. It's never too late to kill one of them or maybe Walker (a character from How To Survive Highschool, check that book out!) could come in between them.
Or maybe I could make Lysander develop feelings for someone else (Ava, another character from How To Survive Highschool, and by the way, Lysander, the same exact one in this book, is in that book too, along with Julia). I have many evil ideas and I will exercise them if I have the chance.
Okay, then. That was a long author's note.
So how was this long and boring chapter?
Have a nice day, you guys. I apologize for the late update. Because of homework, I haven't been able to go to sleep early, so I slept in today, and I went to sleep early yesterday so I couldn't update. I'll try to update again today or tomorrow. I apologize again.
And this is exactly why you should read my author's notes. They contain LOTS of important information.
And if you tell me to update, it's motivational, but it's not going to make me write faster. I have school, I have a life outside of Wattpad, and I need my precious sleep. Sorry if that sounded rude. I'm usually a nicer person.
Again, thanks for reading and have a nice day.
I love you guys so much for 1.6k views! By the way, if you search my username up on Google I'm there! All of my book covers and my older ones are there too. It's always been my dream - to be someone on Google. Thank you guys so much. My profile banner (s) are all there along with my profile picture.
I'm literally going to cry. Thank you.
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