I don't remember much of what happened after we arrived last night. I was overwhelmed, excited and nervous all the same same. I just changed and decided to sleep it off for tge next day was definitely going to be a first step into a new adventure I picked for myself.
To say I've absolutely no idea as to how should I behave with Randhir today would be an understatement. I'm fuckin nervous as hell. I have made myself clear that we need to work and show ourselves strictly as partners in front of the crowd but I'm also scared about how he's gonna keep up to that word.
I don't want him to give me unnecessary attention for I know I wouldn't be able to handle too much of peoples stares and talks. I walk into the classroom and take my usual seat..I can feel the sly stares upon me all the time. But I don't bother to give them the time of the day. Randhir arrives too with his friends and takes his seat. He doesn't glance my way and I'm thankful for it.
Professor Pradhan walks in after a while and addresses the crowd-
"Good morning guys. As you may have already known by now that you need to choose your partner for your respective projects...thanks to Mr Randhir-"
Is that sarcasm in his words? Damn! Did Randhir get himself into trouble for revealing about it even before the Professor did?
"You will be choosing partners now. First medical students will make their choices. You can choose anyone from either side. Once they're done, humanities students can go ahead" he finishes with a curt nod.
I'm curious as to what kind of partners everyone will choose. It's not just curiosity though...I need to pay attention to every detail around me from now on. They're all going to be my competitors...I need to understand their strengths and weaknesses so I could plan my future endeavors well.
As Randhir predicted none of their side members chose anyone from my side. Pity though! Are they all that broken that they refuse to trust someone new? Even in their professional attributes? But being a doctor calls for having trust in the most vulnerable conditions. Trusting your colleague, patient and sometimes even a stranger plays a crucial role in their job. How are they gonna cope once they leave this bubble of college when they can't even trust somebody with as simple as a project?
Finally after an hour or so the choices are made. My side partners were very much predictable for i have known them for the past three years.
"So the easiest part is done. Now comes the difficult task. All of you will be assigned a new project with a title that only you and your partner will know. You will work on it until the end of 3 months and submit it. That will be your main project. You will also be assigned small projects from time to time that needs to be done on a daily basis. You all need to present your thesis, write columns, prepare models everyday. These small projects will be known to all and this is where all of you will compete neck to neck since the main project is the suspense piled up for the last phase. The cumulative of how you perform in both determines your and your partner's grade. I wanna lowkey say your partner and you will be stuck together for the next three months. All that you've dreamed of your careers till now ...this project will be the right push if you make use of it."
"Times are changing and we all ought to adapt to the change. Conventional methods of doing a job is not the time of the need ...we need new innovations and practices. This integration of medicine and humanities is one of that innovation in the right direction. Make use of it and work well" he finishes with a sigh of relief.
We are given break after that and also handouts about what we all will be working on. There's a presentation thats scheduled in two days and we are supposed to present in front of all the professors and students. I make my move to canteen lazily when somebody catches up next to me. It's him. He's panting lightly. He's wearing a navy blue full sleeved t shirt paired up with some black jeans and white shoes. He looks absolutely delicious. I have a thing for blue...I'm suddenly imagining him in nothing but blue boxer..running his hand through his thick hair, leaning against a door frame, sweat drops running on his torso while I lick-- get back to your senses you thirsty hoe. I stop checking him out and clear my throat.
"Hey.. sleep well?" He asks.
"Perfectly. How about you?" I reply
"Not so well"
His answer surprises me and I raise a brow at him. Sensing I'm waiting for him to elaborate...he chuckles before answering,
"Uh...I was too overwhelmed about everything. I couldn't sleep for a long time" he admits.
Gosh what is this guy? Why is he showing all his vulnerabilities to me? I know it's a simple answer and there's no need for me to fret but it bothers me too much. Because, I never share my small difficulties and vulnerabilities that easily...I always come up with answers like 'I slept well' 'Had a good night sleep after netflix' something like that. I don't feel comfortable telling people I had trouble falling asleep which happens almost all the time. Yet he is here...telling me he felt overwhelmed yesterday!!
I give him the faintest of smiles indicating I heard him.
"Ok so now that it's clear what we got ourselves into...we need to take this more seriously Sakshi. We need to plan and do everything together so as to win this. And the first step toward that would be us sitting together in class" he finishes.
The gasp that escapes my mouth definitely tells him I was not expecting this. Don't get me wrong but...sitting with him is a huge step. I don't know if I'm ready for that. There will be eyes watching out every move..from both the sides. And also that I don't know how to behave around him...my mind will be clouded with excitement, nervousness and fear all the time in front of a crowd. But I also know that it is the lost practical thing to do. In order to work together need to coordinate notes and read together.
"Don't look so petrified Sakshi. After break you'll realize almost all of the pairs will be sitting together. So we will not be the odd one out. But I know this will be the news of gossip today..." he trails off.
"What do you mean by that?"
He is silent for a while...thinking about more appropriate words to answer I'm sure. In less than a 24 hours I've conversed with him..I know he likes to sit back and think about what he's going to say. He doesn't blurt out things most of the times.
"Um..well..I've never shared a bench or sat beside a girl in the last five years of college. And also I've never walked to canteen with any girl beside me...so don't panic right now...but I think the whole college is gawking at us as we speak"
This boy! I'm dumbfounded by his words. How could I forget about his mysterious man image? And I'm the one whose popping his 'been seen with a girl' cherry? Now I don't even want to glance at my surroundings. Heat creeps at my cheeks and I'm thankful for I'm not that fair that my skin will turn pink.
What do I even say to that? And what is this tingling feeling in my heart? I think this is going to be way more fun bitch. We are who he chose to do all of this with!! I swear my subconscious mind is a more bold and crass version of myself who doesn't know how to shut up at times.
"Okay...I honestly don't know what to say to that" I mutter.
"Don't say anything please. Come...let's get us a coffee before we go to class"
I nod. We get our coffees...we are the first ones to get to canteen though. When we turn around after getting our drinks I observe the people entering the hall. All of them are gawking at us...some scowling, some giving me disgusted looks, while some are feigning nonchalance but still looking at us secretly. Is this what I want? I've been that girl who chose to be non existent most of the times in my entire college life...now all this attention is definitely overwhelming me. I'm scared, happy, excited and nervous all the same time. My hands start sweating while I'm holding onto my cup but I make sure to keep my face emotionless.
"Don't. Don't do that" he says.
"What?"
"Don't fight yourself Sakshi. You're thinking..way too much. Give your head a break. The more you think about them, the more they'll be able to control us. Let them be. It's us. Just us. And we can do this. Together " he finishes.
There's a stern look on his face challenging me to contradict him. He wants me to look at him and understand what he means...deeper in his head. His aura is authoritative and commanding...like he knows what he's saying is absolutely right and I dare not oppose it. He...he oddly reminds me of myself. A part of me I reserve for people who are my life. I dared not to show this side of me to anybody else. I take a deep breath and--
"We will do this!" I conclude with a warm smile.
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