Once again, Ren and I go back to not speaking.
I woke up midway through the next day and winnowed all the way to the human camp and spent the rest of the week with the other healers and slept amongst them. Partly to help the humans, but mainly to avoid Renae.
I was successful in the latter as she never showed her face in the camp and I never asked anybody about her when we spoke. I had a feeling she was avoiding me too and it drove me crazy thinking about whether she's angry or guilty about what happened. I keep reminding myself not to think about it too much and end up working overtime in the healer's camp whilst the others go to the local tavern or turn in for the night. Working seems to be my go-to coping mechanism– if it helps me, what's the problem?
"Alirra, there's a letter for you." One of the helping fae hands me the envelope, leaving me to my tent.
I thought it might be Adara's delayed reply to my last letter – clearly Prythian post is slacking recently– but the writing is unfamiliar.
I rip into it to find a small note requesting my presence in the Night Court, signed by Feyre. I pray this has nothing to do with Renae, however, I don't waste my prayers on hoping she isn't there entirely. My luck doesn't stretch that far.
I don't hesitate to start packing my things. The healers have made such progress this week that my absence won't affect anything– many healers have returned to their homes, satisfied with their work. I ensure they know I'll be leaving before winnowing through the city, not stopping to scan the details of the Sidra or smell the freshly baked bread in the air.
With each step I take, my heart aches from the close proximity to my mate. The memories of our kiss involuntarily flash through my mind for the umpteenth time this week and I want to beg Adara to crush my own mind between the claws of her powers. Anything to stop the pain.
"I was summoned?" I question as I winnow into the centre of a room filled with each Night court member. I don't stop myself stealing a glance at Ren, who is avoiding my existence completely and talking to Nesta about the Cauldron knows what.
"We have an important meeting." Feyre clarifies and saunters through the room, dodging furniture to join my side.
"And the more people we bring, the better we look." Rhys mumbles from his chair, looking completely uninterested in the event entirely.
"A meeting?"
"Montesere invites the Night court once a decade for a small gathering. Something about our ancestors or some bullshit." Feyre mumbles in my ear but Cassian muffles a laugh from the other side of the room.
"Wait- Montesere?" I look back to Ren who is no longer engaged in conversation and gives me gentle nod, her pleading eyes tell me to leave the conversation there, "I've never been." I mutter.
"You have a half hour to be ready-" Someone's magic interrupts Rhys and transforms my healer rags, sweat coated hair and muddied fingertips into a dress made of the darkest fabric I'd ever seen with little flecks of stars dusting the chest and fading down the skirt. An opening in the front of the dress reveals nothing above mid-thigh. My feet fit snug into heels matching in colour to the dress.
I look around as to who the culprit of this magnificent dress is but nobody gives it away– each of them admiring the gown and the shoes beneath my feet.
I had never worn such a thing in my entire life and the delicate metal hung around my neck and wrists accentuated it in ways I would never think to do so. I wouldn't look at a dress like this twice, knowing full-well I couldn't afford such a thing.
"You look beautiful. Now can we go?" Cassian groans like an impatient child and everybody winnows away after the laughter dies down.
Renae reaches me before anybody else, grabbing ahold of my arm and winnowing us to the Night court boarder. From there, the Illyrian wings carry us across the waters. Cassian carries Nesta, Azriel awkwardly wraps his arms around Elain and leaps into the air, Rhys and Feyre set off before I even have a choice. I'm left with Renae.
She doesn't seem affected by the situation, but also doesn't say a single word during the entire journey. Her eyes never meet mine and her hands never move from their positions on my body.
We land on Montesere's border before the others and I take my chance to speak before they arrive.
"Are you sure you want to be here?"
"I'm fine. And even if I wasn't, it's a bit late now." She leans against a large oak tree, the shadows of it's towering branches hides her dark figure.
"Do they know?"
"Rhys and Feyre do, I figured they should know." So she told me over any others in the court...
The distance hides the details of her face- her figure. Blending perfectly into the shadows around her. Whether her eyes are on me or not, I stare into the shadows, at the outline of a female.
"You do look beautiful in that dress." She mutters and emerges from the darkness, like a shadow herself. She chose an equally black suit and boots. Her hair slicked back with a few pieces falling over her face, dark smudges outline her eyes, making them even more dark and intriguing.
I hadn't dared look too close earlier– hadn't noticed the breathtaking female until now.
"I really like it." My voice appears slightly rasping but she doesn't seem to notice.
"So I chose well then?"
"You-" She inclines her head, still taking steady steps toward me. The wings of Illyrians form in the distance over the cliff edge.
"Well, thank you. You look," hot, "nice." A smile creeps over her face and my stomach drops- did I say that out loud.
No you didn't. Her familiar lilting voice echos around my own mind and I flinch at the unfamiliar experience of her words tickling the inside of my mind, my soul.
"What was that?"
"It's the bond. Why didn't you tell me you feel it too?" I blush after the feeling of her dark presence in my mind and try my best to gather myself before responding.
"I- We weren't talking- I was at the camp." She stops, inches from my face.
A gentle tug at my heart or my soul– or possibly both– causes me to flinch. Butterflies dance around my gut and the beats of my heart increase. The feeling makes me want to close the gap between us, as if the pull was coming from Renae's direction.
Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
"Stop!" I jump away from her and before she can re-close the gap, the Illyrians land along the boarder.
I don't know what she thinks she's doing, but messing with the very thing that makes my head pound and heart ache isn't exactly fun for me. I've been trying to avoid those feelings all week, how come she has the power to ruin all of that. Cauldron, damn you.
"What did we miss?" Cassian saunters over to the two of us, completely unaware of what just happened. Once again, we winnow to the overly-large castle at the centre of Montesere's city. The outside altogether looks more expensive than the entirety of the House of Wind.
I let Ren winnow me, only to avoid the suspicion of the others. Her hand trembles as she snakes it around my own and I know the very thoughts that are going through her mind. I have no clue what I'd do if I were to return to Hybern– I don't believe I'd go in the first place.
As we stand before the door large enough to fit three lengthy Illyrians on top of one another and the span of their wings times five, Rhys provides us with a winding speak about their ancestors and how important this gathering is that no scenes must be caused. We are to respect everyone in their home, from the servants holding trays of food to the King and Queen holding crowns on their heads.
We all promise to be on our best behaviours and the doors struggle to open before us. Despite the promise to be respectful, we still strut into the room as if we all own the very land they're all standing on, the food on their plates and the air they're breathing.
~Renae~
A tradition of the event is both the Night and Montesere introduce every member they've invited- nobody knows why considering they won't even remember all the names and titles and certainly won't bother speaking to them throughout the night.
Panic is rising in my gut with every second ticking closer to meeting my parents for the first time in decades.
The entire event is people separated into different corners of a large room, neither Montesere or the Night wanting to interact with one another.
Tables run the length of the back wall, piled high with treats which are organised into sweet and savoury. The most interaction we have with Montesere is when we take glasses of their own-made wine from the trays held by servants.
Rhys and Feyre must spend the entire night beside the King and Queen, out of respect, but they rarely spoke at the last one I attended- when I stood proudly beside my parents.
This is the second event I've attended and so far I prefer being on the Night's side- Montesere is a land full of snooty rich people who only look down their nose to pity others below them. I'm afraid to say that compared to them, we are as small as rats.
"How you feeling?" Ali whispers in my ear and the hairs along my arms involuntarily stick up.
"Just avoiding my parents completely. They haven't noticed that I'm actually here yet and I'm not looking forward to when they do."
"When are we to introduce ourselves?"
"They'll call us over once they've finished talking about their success and riches and no doubt the battle." She nods slowly and stares at the four of them. Each smiling politely but behind the pearly teeth are rude insults toward my High Lord and Lady- I know my parents.
"What is the point of this, if nobody enjoys the other's company?"
"Tradition." We both say in unison and she rolls her eyes.
We stand there a moment longer in silence. I notice Cassian and Azriel flanking their High Lord and Lady, as if either of my parents or their soldiers had a chance against them. Nesta stands far from any crowds, her tense body ready to lunge in front of Elain's.
"I'm sorry about earlier." I mutter, lowering my voice enough so nobody would hear. Using the bond to speak would be easier, but her reaction last time wasn't exactly ideal.
"It's fine- just surprised me is all." Her hands are clenched by her side and I pray it isn't me that is making her so uncomfortable.
I don't get to ask about her tense figure as Rhys signals each of us to join their conversation. My mind blanking- feet frozen in place.
"Ren- you don't have to do this." Ali stands in front of me but my eyes don't move from their fixed position above her head, at my parents who are already talking with Nesta and Elain.
"Yes I do."
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