"Ali? What are you doing out here so late?" Feyre whispers. In the dark, I have no way of knowing who is who, so I choose to stare down at my embarrassment of a figure— sprawled across the floor.
"I woke up and really needed water, but when I opened the door I tripped over the edge of the rug. Can one of you take me to the kitchen?" I look up at the female figures before me, every step they take defining their features more and more.
I look up at Renae, her eyes hollow against the darkness—as if I could see right through them and into the black background. Despite my inability to see anything, I notice her eyes flicker between different concerned emotions, assessing my own features as if checking to see if I heard their very private conversation.
"I will." Renae's voice cracks from the strain of whispering with Feyre for the Mother knows how long. I'd prefer nothing more than to climb back into bed, as if this embarrassing event never happened, than a late-night walk with Renae which will no doubt lead to not-so-subtle questions.
Before I can think of a way out, she drags me to my feet and releases my hand as if it were a plague before silently ordering me to follow behind her — as usual.
"Again — I'm pretty sure you were supposed to familiarise yourself with these halls yesterday."
"I'm sorry."
"No need to apologise." She turns and smiles at me reassuringly but I am unconvinced as the stars in her eyes have faded into the voids as if out of worry ; this mask doesn't hide it very well.
"I'm going to check the post in the morning — I believe there is a letter just for you." She smiles down at me again and my heart warms slightly.
"That's fast!"
"Prythian post is, as if like magic." She jokes and I match her smile — not quite reaching the eyes.
"Here we are," she guides me inside a room filled with counters, antique ovens and pots and pans hung on racks and laid across surfaces — every item cleaned perfectly. Then, "I don't want to seem too suspicious, but did you hear anything between me and Feyre?"
I avoid her eyes as I fill a small cup with ice cold water — the temperature no doubt preserved by magic.
Taking a sip I turn to face those hollow eyes that blend into the darkness and yet still laced with concern.
No matter what: never lie. Lying is selfish. Adara's voice echos around my mind yet again and I shut out the memory of her lessons with the young ones back home.
"No," I mumble, then, "I heard voices, but then fell on my ass." I force a gentle laugh that isn't reciprocated. Her face stone cold and not moving —stuck in the same expression of confusion. For a second I convince myself she knows I've lied.
"Very well then." We stand in silence, avoiding eye contact until she escorted me to my room and left without a single 'good night'.
I cringe at the image that appears in my mind once I lay back in my bed. Adara, with a look that's nothing more than disappointment. I expected better , I imagine her saying and storming out of the cottage along with the youngsters at her feet, leaving me alone to simmer in my thoughts and emotions.
I'll tell Renae tomorrow. I say to Adara ; to myself.
~~~
I walk out of my room with every intention of finding Renae and telling her everything I heard —the truth. However, as if the Cauldron itself were messing with me, she wasn't at the table.
"Where's Renae?"
"I feel like this is becoming a regular thing." Cassian gives an unhelpful reply. Everyone rolls their eyes, thinking the exact same as I.
"She isn't in her room, must be taking a walk. Don't worry." I smile at Feyre for her actual constructive response and give Cassian a look that says 'See? That wasn't so hard.'
As if the mention of her name summoned the slender female herself, Renae landed on the balcony with force and sauntered into the room with her usual assertive demeanour. In her hand : a letter.
She catches my stare at the envelope in her hand and walks over to hand it to me.
"As promised." She smiles gently and takes her place at the table, ignoring the knowing stares and smirks.
"Excited fo your first day of actual work?" Cassian interrupts the awkward silence hovering between everyone. I give him a nod in response.
"I have quite a bit to do today so I won't be able to walk you as promised—" Rhys begins.
"I can do it. I have nothing to do." Renae looked at nobody whilst she interrupted and just stared down at her plate of food.
"Thank you, Ren. Is that ok with you?" He turns to me and I give another nod. This will give me time to tell her the truth and hopefully figure out what she and Feyre were talking about.
~~~
An hour later I washed up and put on a pair of Night court attire, ready for my first day. Meeting up with Renae in the hall so she could fly us down into Velaris and escort me to the healing wards.
"Ren, I might've lied." I look down at my feet caressing the cobblestone beneath them. The sound of the Sidra's waters running nearby. If I avoid her existence completely, maybe this will be easier.
"I heard a bit of your conversation with Feyre last night — just a bit!" She laughs a little and my eyes shoot up to her own.
"I thought as much, you aren't a brilliant lier Alirra Reign." Her accent thick but gentle — as rare as Rhys's.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth — honestly, it's been terrorising me all night, and this morning when you weren't at breakfast-"
"Ali, calm down. I thought I'd care more than I do. What exactly did you hear?" Despite her calm posture, her eyes still scream panic.
"Something about a mate. I- I didn't really understand most of it." She straightens her back and looks down at me, contemplating what to do next.
"That's all?" A nod. "Then we don't have a problem."
"Can I ask who-"
"No." She leaves it at that and stalks away from me, the crowd parting before her like the other day.
Although she assured me it was fine, I still get hints that there's something missing, that she's uncomfortable with my knowing of her secret.
If I'm honest, I'm slightly annoyed I didn't hear who they were talking about — who is this mate? To find out I would have to do more sneaking around and lying which wouldn't please either Adara or Renae. I guess I'll have to think about that one for a while before making any irrational decisions that might get me falling on my ass in the middle of the night.
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