Liam
After talking to Chris, I felt a lot better, only for the rest of the day to completely shatter me.
I was extremely tired, all I wanted to do was go home, see my Bea, see Rena, and then just fall asleep.
It was already late evening when I reached home and I felt really bad that Rena had spent her entire day babysitting. I didn't think it would take this long, but the few times I called, she seemed to be happy, both her and Bea.
Just as I put the keys in the front door, I could hear giggling sounds coming from inside.
When I opened the door and stepped into the living room, I wasn't even sure how to react.
"What is going on here?" I asked, unable to hold the smile off my face.
Both Bea and Rena looked like they were caught in some kind of suspicious activity.
"We made a fort!" Bea yelled.
She was already in her bunny pyjamas, with a little headband to go with it.
I could see that they had used the sofa and chairs on the edges, placing a white sheet over it to make the tent. There was some lights around and then the projector...used on the main wall to create a backdrop like the living room was instead a camping ground with a campfire too.
She really did all of this for Bea?
"I can put it all back?" Rena said and I realised, she may have taken my silence to mean I didn't like it.
"No, leave it. It looks like fun," I smiled at her.
"Do you want to come inside the fort?" Bea asked, stepping forward to hold my hand. "We're going to watch a movie."
I dropped my bag to the side and immediately picked her up in my arms.
"Am I allowed?" I asked her.
"Of course," Bea grinned.
I placed a kiss on her keep and placed her back down onto the ground.
"Let me go change and I'll be right back," I told her.
Bea quickly ran into her fort and when I looked at Rena, she just smiled and I nodded, heading into my room to change.
Not too long after, I came back into the room.
When I moved towards the fort, I could only see Bea inside, swinging her little feet back and forth whilst scrolling on the laptop.
"Hi, sweetheart. Where is Rena?" I asked her.
"She's in the kitchen. We need snacks," Bea spoke and then looked at me with a wide grin. "I'm choosing the movie," she said, clearly happy with her responsibility.
I smiled nodded.
"I vote for Moana," I told her, before getting up.
"Noted!" Bea yelled back.
Leaving her to choose the movie, I walked to the kitchen.
Rena looked like she was trying to get some snacks sorted, so far only the popcorn. She looked so pretty, I didn't understand how that was still possible after having a long day. I looked ready to collapse and she looks...amazing.
I should probably stop staring now.
"Hey," I greeted her.
She turned my way and smiled. "Oh Hi. We needed some snacks, so I..." she gestured to the popcorn.
"I have some more things in the cupboard up there," I pointed upwards. "I try to keep them out of Bea's reach."
Ever since she managed to find her way to a whole packed of marshmallows and wouldn't sleep afterwards, I had to keep them out of reach for her.
"Do you want some hot chocolate? I have little travel mugs we could use?" I asked her.
"Sure," she nodded.
I nodded and turned around, preparing the things I needed for the hot chocolate. Overtime, I have come to perfect the way I make it and now it was a good chance to impress Rena. She loved hot chocolate, hopefully she'd like mine too.
Just as I waited for the milk to heat up in the pan - this was part of my perfected recipe - I turned around and saw Rena trying to reach the top cupboard on her tip toes.
"Do you need help?" I asked her.
She turned to look at me over her shoulder. "No, thank you. I got it," she smiled, before proceeding to climb up the counter on her knees.
She's something else.
I shook my at her antics and got back to my masterpiece.
Once the milk was warm, I whisked in the cocoa and a couple of extra things to give it that little edge.
As I poured it into our mugs, my eyes wandered over to Rena. She was still kneeling on the counter, a packet of marshmallows in one hand and smiling at the cookies in her other hand.
She's so adorable.
Just as I thought this, reality quickly got to me, and I managed to burn my hand. This is why you shouldn't look away when pouring hot liquids.
"Shit," I put the pan down and looked at my finger.
"Liam, you absolute muppet," Rena said, quickly coming to my side.
She took my hand in hers, examining the burn, and I suddenly didn't care about the searing pain.
"Come here," Rena dragged me to the sink, turning the cold water tap on and place my hand under it.
Amidst all of that, I could only look at her.
She looked at me like I was a child who had caught its' head in the bannister.
"Who looks away when pouring hot liquid?" She continued to scold me. "You're meant to pay attention. What could possibly warrant your attention for those few seconds needed to pour? What were you looking at?"
"You," I blurted out.
My eyes widen immediately as soon as the word came out of my mouth. I wasn't supposed to be honest.
Rena looked taken aback as well, frowning slightly as she was unsure she'd heard that correctly.
I quickly cleared my throat. "I mean, you left the cupboard open."
Handled that smoothly.
"Because that's really what matters right now," Rena said, rolling her eyes. "Keep it under water," she pointed at my hand.
"Okay, let me look," Rena said after a couple of minutes, brining my hand up closer so she could take a look.
She seemed so concerned over a minor burn.
"Rena. It's fine," I told her.
She looked up at me with a frown. "Does it sting?"
"Not at all," I smiled. "Take the snacks, I'll be fine."
Rena looked at me suspiciously, before nodding and taking all the snacks she had gathered.
"Don't burn yourself again," she said, leaving the kitchen.
"Noted," I replied.
At least I hope I didn't.
***
"What are we watching?" I asked Bea and Rena, who were already tucked into the fort.
Bea had snuggled next to Rena, a blanket placed of the two of them, I could see Rena gently stroke her head.
Maybe I was being too creepy, since her eyes locked onto mine and I couldn't help but widened them, before quickly passing her one of the hot chocolate mugs.
"The incredibles," Bea said, as I passed her a mug too.
"Awesome," I smiled, a took my place on the other side of Bea.
She turned her head to look at me with a frown. "But you wanted Moana?"
I saw Rena pause mid-sip to look at me and instantly I felt my face heat up, even my ears.
"No, I didn't," I laughed off Bea's words. Well, at least tried to.
"You voted," she replied.
My daughter was hellbent on embarrassing me.
When I looked at her and then Rena, who looked very amused, I tried to just play it cool and shrugged.
"It's a nice movie, okay? Nice songs," I said and both of them nodded, before Bea just giggled.
For the next hour or so, we continued to watch the movie. It was one of the things I loved doing with Bea, watching movies that she's never seen before. Her first reactions to the jokes or the action, it was adorable.
I would occasionally glance at Rena too, seeing the way her smile lifted and her eyes light up when there was something funny on screen.
I also noticed the way she continued to make sure Bea was comfortable in her arm, gently stroking her head or playing with her hair.
Finally, I could hear light snores and looked at Bea, noticing that she was maybe a little too relaxed.
Rena smiled at her and I shook my head.
"Should I-...?" Rena asked, gesturing towards Bea.
"No, it's okay. I got her," I told Rena, knowing it'll be a little tricky to pick Bea up and also get out of the fort, without waking her.
I have no idea what Bea did throughout her day, but whatever it was, it clearly tuckered her out. She was completely asleep as I tucked her into bed. She didn't mumble or move about, only snored a little.
After making sure Clover was tucked in next to her and Leo was safe in his little home, I walked out of Bea's room and back to the fort.
Rena was still sitting up and watching the movie.
"Hey," I said quietly, whilst entering the fort again.
"Hi," she replied, before looking amused. "Why are you whispering?"
"I don't know," I chuckled. "Should we stop the movie?"
"No, let it play. There's not that long left," Rena quickly said, before I could even move my hand to the laptop.
I nodded and sat next to her, although I couldn't focus on the movie anymore.
"What did you both do today then?" I asked.
Rena turned towards me with a bright smile. "Oh, we did so much. First we played some games, did a small puzzle and I read Bea a book. Then went out for lunch, Sara joined us too. We did a little shopping, I bought her some things, I hope you don't mind."
"Oh, you didn't need to do that," I told her. I already knew I have bought Bea a lot of things already.
"But I wanted to," Rena replied. "We went out for a little high tea together - well she had chocolate milk, some cake and biscuits. Then we came back, had a little nap, some fruit and then we began to build the fort and you know the rest."
How is she so amazing?
"Thank you for today. I just had to go in today and I couldn't leave Bea alone, and there are very little people I trust with her," I told Rena.
"No, I understand. I guess that means you trust me," she grinned.
"Always," I replied, without missing a beat.
There's probably no one that I trust more.
"Can I ask?" I then questioned, a little nervously.
I wanted to ask her how she was doing and if she was okay, but then I know she hated those questions.
Rena let out a slight sigh, fiddling with the blanket, before she replied. "I'm okay. I think I am. It doesn't really hurt as it did before, I don't feel like crying or feel sad. I think the initial shock of it all was still processing and when it did the dam broke, now that pressure isn't there anymore."
Was it wrong that I felt relieved that she wasn't hurting over the relationship anymore?
"I'm only sorry you had to witness it," Rena laughed.
I knew that laugh wasn't genuine. It was one used to cover how embarrass you felt. I know, because I've used it many times myself.
"Everyone needs help, Rena," I told her. "Feeling overwhelmed in the moment doesn't have be a bad thing, it's just what you need sometimes to move past it."
"You sound wise."
"I've lived through it."
"Can I ask?" Rena questioned.
"I'm doing okay," I smiled. There's no bitterness or unyielding pain. It's like a heavy weight was lifted off my chest and I'm breathing."
It was like being underwater for a while, but now finally coming up for air. It was almost freeing.
"I am proud of you," Rena smiled, nudging me with her elbow.
I nudged her back. "I'm proud of you, too."
We sounded like such adults, that I couldn't help but laugh a little and so did Rena, maybe feeling the same. We had both gone through a lot and come a long way from those little kids we once were.
When I saw her shiver slightly, I moved more of the blankets on her.
It was only then I realised we didn't actually have a fire keeping us warm.
"So this is what you wanted the projector for?" I asked Rena.
"Yeah. Isn't it so cool?" She said, with an excited expression. "Like we're really at a campfire with our fort."
"Have you ever camped?" I asked her.
She nodded, pulling her knees up. "Once. With my dad. He was very adamant that I learn survival skills."
"Why?"
"Father of a young girl, he wanted to make sure I would be okay. It was a bit weird but I think it made him feel better."
"Maybe I should take Bea?" I commented, if that was something that would keep her safe in the future, not that I expect her to ever end up in the woods.
"You?" Rena questioned.
"Yes," I replied, and I frowned on what that was so funny?
"Liam, you wouldn't survive in the wilderness," she said, laughing to herself.
I felt like I should be offended, but I couldn't be, not when she laughed like that. That sound - I just wanted to keep ahold of it and never let go.
"I would," I said, although I don't think I even know how to start a campfire.
"Okay," Rena continued to laugh and shake her head. I rolled my eyes, but failed to stop the smile on my own face.
"I just want to be Mr Incredible for Bea," I confessed.
As a parent, you wanted to be everything for your child, to be their Dad, best friend, superhero. I never wanted to let Bea down and sometimes, I was scared of not living up to her expectations.
I felt a hand on mine and look at Rena. "You already are. You're a great Dad, Liam. Bea is the most wonderful little girl ever, you raised her well."
"Thank you. I'm still afraid of messing up," I said, laughing, that awkward, embarrassed kind of laugh.
Rena squeezed my hand. "You won't."
She said it with determination, as if there was no question about it. Even her eyes, she believed her words, she believed in me.
In the last few minutes of the movie, I felt Rena rest her head on my shoulder.
I don't think she knew she still had her hand on top of mine and I was in no rush to remind her.
My mind drifted back to Chris' words. If I didn't tell her, I would certainly regret it. No matter if she didn't feel the same, I had to tell her how I felt, because if by some miracle she felt it too, I didn't want to waste a second to be with her.
"Rena?" I whispered.
There was no response from her.
"Rena?" I tried again, but nothing.
When the end credits began to play and she made no move, I craned my neck to the side and noticed she had fallen asleep.
I guess Bea wasn't the only one who was exhausted.
"I'll tell you some other time," I whispered and smiled to myself.
Taking a leap won't matter, not when I've already fallen for her.
I then sat as still as I could, making sure I didn't move at all so I wouldn't disturb her, and just watched looked as the credits rolled on the screen.
***
Hope you liked the read :)