Benji
I watch Brandy take off and Miles chase after her, just like I thought he would. I feel proud that I was right about him but also like a big, fucking idiot. I've had a few glasses of champagne and when I saw Brandy with another guy I... I lost it.
I don't know what the hell came over me. I can't believe I actually got mad at her the way that I did or said the things I said. I made her cry. I said something bad enough to make her cry right on the spot. God, she must hate me. I hate me.
I've spent the whole day sitting in the same spot doing nothing as everyone around me planned this big party that I never wanted. None of the decorations, catering, guest list... none of those were picked by me. I didn't have a say in how I wanted to spend my day. Instead, Mom planned everything, just like she always does. I guess that really struck a nerve.
And I don't want to sound ungrateful either. I know some people would kill for a party like this, but not me. I never wanted this. I just wanted to spend the night with Brandy... on a bed of rose petals, watching Seinfeld. The exact same things I said to her were actually what I wanted. I think I said it like that because I was mad that's not what I was doing.
And to make matters worse, I find out that Brandy was going to have sex with me tonight. I can't believe she trusted me enough to want to have sex with me and there I was, completely betraying that. Sometimes, I wish I could go back in time and think about the things I want to say before I actually say them. Maybe if I had that option, I wouldn't be such a fuck up.
I watch them until they are so far out the door that I can't see them anymore. I head back to the lame party and watch everyone else but I have a good time. Natalie is chatting with my parents and all of my high school friends are laughing and drinking, of course. Shawn and my college 'friends' are sitting at their own table, having a good time.
I approach Shawn's table and take a seat, feeling unable to stand anymore. "Starboy, happy fucking birthday!" Shawn says to me, patting my back.
"Not so happy," I say. "How are you doing, though?"
"Fuck, what's wrong, man?" He asks sincerely. "You shouldn't be bummed at your own party."
"You'd think so, right?" I laugh. "Don't worry about me, Shawn, just... have a good time."
"All right," he agrees. "Hey, man, did you still... want me, well, are you okay with me talking to Natalie? You mentioned that before but I'm just making sure you haven't changed your mind."
"I haven't changed my mind," I inform him. "If you want to talk to her, talk to her. I don't own anyone."
As soon as those words left my lips, I feel like an idiot because I acted like I owned Brandy tonight. I acted like she wasn't allowed to bring a guy with her when I was doing the same thing. Of course, she's mad, I'm a fucking idiot.
"Okay, Starboy. I'm going in," he says as he stands up. I watch him slowly approach Natalie, almost terrified to tap her on the shoulder and speak. Shawn likes to act very confidently but in reality, the man has absolutely no game. I would help him out but how weird is that?
I wander around the room and wait for something remotely interesting to happen. The loud music coming from the band makes it hard for me to focus on my own thoughts, but I do so anyway. As I'm about to grab another drink of champagne, I recall all of the incidents where alcohol made everything worse. Take the frat party, the dorm party, and then tonight.
I stare at my reflection through the glass and shake my head. I put down the drink and continue to walk around and make small talk with the people I see once or twice a year—people I hardly know at all. I can't believe I'm here talking to my mother's friend from high school and not my actual girlfriend. It's strange how that works, and it's sad. I only have myself to blame.
"Benji!" Dad calls out to me and places his hand on my shoulder. "Do you see that man?" He points to the raven-haired bastard who seemed awfully familiar. "That's Devon Turner, Natalie's father."
That makes sense. He has this annoyingly straight posture and fancy-ass suit that my parents probably can't even afford. Devon makes eye contact with Dad and he begins to approach us.
"Don't fuck this up, Benji, I'm serious." I've never heard Dad say 'fuck' so I am completely caught off guard. This must mean a lot to him.
"Devon!" Dad calls out with his fake, work voice.
"Steven," Devon says as the two firmly shake hands. "Wonderful party you've got here, Steven."
"Thank you. Emily, Benji and I are so glad you made it tonight. I-I didn't even know you were coming," Dad says. "This is my son, Benji. Benji, I'm sure you are aware of Devon Turner, your beautiful girlfriend's father."
I get a good look at the man who is responsible for just about everything bad in my life before I decide to actually touch him. "It's nice to meet you, Sir." Did I actually say sir? What is wrong with me? This man is the devil.
"Likewise," he says deeply. "May I assume you're taking good care of my Natalie?"
"Yes, Sir," I answer.
"Then tell me, Benji..." he starts. "Why is she over there talking to another young fellow?"
Dad and I quickly look back at Natalie and Shawn laughing and flirting from afar. I hear Dad gulp but I just stand there unbothered. I personally don't care that Natalie is with Shawn right now. In fact, I'm glad. I don't want to be with her and I never have. Maybe, if I'm lucky, she'll decide that Shawn is better for her.
"Oh, well, she's just getting to know the guests," Dad jumps in. "She's such a friendly young woman, that Natalie. Isn't she, Benji?"
"Uh, yes," I stammer. "Very friendly."
"I'm going to say hello to my daughter," Devon says. "It was nice to meet you, Benji. And Steven, always a pleasure," he says suspiciously.
Dad takes a deep breath out as Devon walks off to Natalie. "I almost had a heart attack," Dad admits. "I did not expect that man to show up tonight. I invited him, of course, but he said he had work."
"Is that Shawn that Natalie is talking to?" Dad asks.
"Yeah," I answer. "Are you mad?"
"Why the hell would I be mad?" He says lowly.
I shrug. "I don't know, maybe because you have been insisting that I date Natalie for God knows how long now."
"I've told you, Benji, I don't want you with the daughter of that beast. I hope that Shawn will take her off your hands. We will just have to see how it plays out."
At the end of the night, I come home to an empty apartment. I don't even bother calling out Brandy's name to check if she's here when I know she's not. I crawl into my bed and turn on the T.V and skip through the channels. I finally land on a Seinfeld episode and let out a soft chuckle.
It drives me crazy thinking about how fast things change. If I had only kept my mouth shut or handled things differently, I would have come home to Brandy, sitting here with her and watching Seinfeld. Now, she's out with another guy that I accused her of being with on my birthday.
Before I know it, I start falling asleep. My eyes slowly shut as I get one last glance at the television. My door creaks open, which awakens me completely. I look up to see what the noise is and see that Brandy is standing at my door. I quickly straighten my posture and sit up.
"You're here..." I say quietly. "Why did you come back?" I wonder, not that I'm not happy to see her.
She sits down at the edge of my bed. "It's your birthday," she says. "I-I didn't feel right leaving you alone, no matter how I feel right now."
"B, I'm so sorry-"
"It's okay," she says quickly. "Benji... I don't want to fight. I don't think I can handle one more fight. If I have to go through one more of these with you, I think I'll lose it. I'm tired of running. Aren't you?"
I scooch in closer to her to fully engage in this conversation. "I fucked up," I say quietly and regretfully. "I don't know what else to say, B. I was an asshole. I-I don't even know why you came back here."
"You were an asshole." She breaks the ice by smiling a bit. "God, this is not how I wanted to spend your birthday."
"Did you—you actually planned to-"
"Lose my virginity?" She finishes my sentence, and I nod. "Yeah," she chuckles. "But obviously, that's off the table for tonight."
I laugh. "Brandy, I'm so sorry, babe. I don't know what's gotten into me. My day sucked, and I mean sucked. All I wanted to do was spend today with you and then when I finally saw you... you were another guy. I don't know why but that really fucked me up."
"I understand," she says. "I mean, you were still a total ass... but I understand." She laughs. "I'm sorry you didn't get to spend your birthday the way that you wanted."
"It's okay," I whisper. "I'm just glad you're here now." I lean in to hug her and I feel a huge sense of relief when she gives into the hug.
"Maybe we should get everything off the table," she says. "You know, just this one time to say anything we need to say out loud, so it doesn't come out when we don't want it to."
I exhale deeply as I think about the big-ass secret I'm keeping from Brandy. I open my lips to finally tell her the truth. The truth being, I have to keep seeing Natalie until this whole thing blows over, but I don't know for how long. I know I promised her that tonight was it but it isn't. I wish it was but... it isn't.
"I'll go first," she says, interrupting me. "I'm really glad that you're done with Natalie. I know it hasn't been easy for you, but it especially hasn't been easy for me. Watching you with her tonight, everyone celebrating you guys... it hurt like hell. Frankly, I can't do it anymore. So that's why I'm glad that you're done with her. I'm really happy that we can move forward, without her."
I sigh as I realize that I can't tell her the truth now. We are literally just patching things up, so to go and ruin it right now would be absolutely terrible. I don't even want to know what she would say if I told her.
"One more thing," she continues. "I've been... offered an internship."
"That's amazing."
"At your dad's work," she finishes. She bites her lip and waits for my reply. "Is that okay?"
"Why wouldn't that be okay?" I ask curiously.
"You hate your dad. I would be working with him all the time," she explains.
"That's fine, babe," I say. "There's still no reason to be mad. I just want you to be happy. Does this make you happy? Working for my dad?"
"I think so," she says. "I guess I'll see. I start on Tuesday."
"Did you seriously think I'd be mad?" I ask.
"Kind of. Like, what if he says something you don't want me to know? Spending all that time with him... I thought it'd make you nervous."
"No way," I laugh. "It's fine, B. It's just an internship. I'm proud of you. My dad does not play around when it comes to working. He only hires the baddest." I smile.
She grabs my face and kisses me deeply before letting go. "Happy birthday," she whispers.
As much as I'm enjoying this, a thought ruins just about it all. I've got to tell my dad not to tell Brandy about Natalie or else it could destroy everything. Then again, Dad specially told me not to 'cheat' on Natalie, so how will I explain to him why Brandy can't know I'm still seeing Natalie?
—
Hiii everyone, how are you? This is the final part of Benji's chaotic birthday—I hope you enjoyed the roller coaster ride. I know I certainly enjoyed writing it :)
If you would like to support me and my book, feel free to vote on this chapter, I appreciate it so much ❤️
If you have any suggestions for this book or things you would like to see in the future, feel free to drop them in the comments. I want to write a story that not only myself but YOU GUYS want to read and will enjoy so your input is truly important to me.
New chapter coming tomorrow.
Xo,
Bethany