"And I don't like that you all can just ignore the Volturi killing innocent kids".
Trigger Warnings: Depression, talks of dying, and morphine/drugs
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Addison Cullen tried her best not to flinch as a loud yell of excruciating pain echoed through the house and Jacob Black's hold on her hand tightened like a Boa Constrictor as his brown eyes screwed shut "shh shh I know Jake, I know it hurts but I swear we're almost done". Jacob bit back a groan as his ribs painfully snapped as Carlisle re-broke them, his chest heavily rising and falling with each shaky breath "A-Addison make it stop- AH" Carlisle quickly re-broke the last bone making Jacob scream before being gently shushed by Addison "it's okay Jake, it's okay you're done".
Addison grabbed some morphine to help ease his pain glancing at Carlisle "you can go talk to Billy, and the pack, I'm gonna give him some morphine then I'll be done" Carlisle silently watched as she properly measured the right milliliters of morphine before flicking out the air bubbles and after she injected it into Jacob's arm, he left the room positive that his daughter was perfectly fine nursing the werewolf on her own. "Alright Jake, you're done, you should start to feel better soon" Jacob didn't mean to but he grabbed the girl by the arm making her pause, "why are you being so nice to me? Edward hates my guts".
Addison couldn't help but chuckle "Jacob just because you're in love with Isabella doesn't mean I hate you, I don't particularly like you but I don't hate you... sometimes you're not so terrible to be around", "you're not so terrible to be around sometimes either" Jacob grinned and maybe it was the drugs talking but Addison suddenly didn't seem so bad to be around...
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It had been exactly three days since the battle with the newborns and Addison had yet to talk to anyone about anything, she had been ignoring everyone including Jasper and Alice, she was completely silent even finding someway to tune out Edward from her thoughts (which annoyed him to no end). Addison honestly just wanted to forget about the battle but the memories never went away, Bree was only fifteen and she had already seen so much pain and death, and no matter how much she wanted to Addison would never forget the way her name sounded as Bree screamed it before dying...
"Addison" Edward finally broke the silence but Addison never looked away from the window "when Felix... when Felix killed Bree, her last thoughts were to be nice to her friend Fred if we ever crossed paths in the future, and uh... she thanked you for trying to protect her..." he cleared his throat hoping for some reaction "I don't know if that helps any but I just thought you should know"...
Addison tried not to show any emotion but they all saw the way her hands clenched digging half-moons into the skin of her thighs, Jasper was becoming overwhelmed with all the sadness and anger bubbling inside his wife's body... "Addison honey, I know your upset know but it'll get bett-" Esme tried to comfort her daughter but Addison could only muster a small scoff "don't. just please don't do the whole it gets better thing because one, that never makes anything better, and two I'm not upset".
It was the first thing she had said to any of them in three days and it wasn't what they wanted to hear... "Addison you need to understand I did what I had to do... if I didn't you would be dead and Bree would have died anyway" Carlisle needed Addison to understand why he did what he did because he knew she was blaming him and herself for letting Bree die.
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"No... No, if we tried harder than we could have saved her, I could have saved her... I could have taken her somewhere safe-", "Addison the Volturi would have found you eventually, you two would have been on the run constantly and that's no life". Addison finally looked away from the window and her eyes were ice-cold "and this is a life? constantly fighting nomad vampires, worrying about Isabella and her wanting to be turned, fearing the Volturi, is that all our life is anymore?" Addison's words sent shock up and down their spines normally it was Edward who was the depressed brooder but now it was the light of the family... Oh how the tables turned...
"Addison stop it, you don't mean that" Esme didn't want to hear those horrible things coming from any of her children, she preferred it when her kids were happy... "oh but I do mean it, mom... ever since Bella, everything has changed, we never get a break any more and I am tired of it, I'm tired of fighting other vampires, or constantly worrying about the Volturi, or worrying if you guys are just gonna pack up and leave again, leaving me behind with Isabella".
"No" Rosalie shook her head not liking the person taking over her sister "no we all wanted you to come with us but you said you wanted to stay behind- you wanted to keep Bella alive".
"Because I did... Isabella deserved a normal life and I had a chance of making sure that happened but I was still hurting, Edward and I had a really horrible argument and he told me that I belonged in the asylum which was the worse possible thing to hear from my brother and then I was left behind to protect a human who at the time I didn't even like, but I still stayed behind because I wanted to do something right for once but none of you realize how difficult those nine months were. I was alone making sure that Bella didn't do anything reckless or stupid which was such a hard thing to do, and I had to watch as she screamed her throat raw from the nightmares, and as she starved herself all because of Edward but everyone just wants to ignore those nine months because they're back together, but those nine months were horrible and I can't forget how many times she cried and screamed for him, and all I could do was watch".
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"And I'm really sorry for that Addison but I'm back now, me and Bella are okay you don't have to keep thinking about those nine months" Edward words only made Addison shake her head "and what happens when it's time for her to turn? do you really think Jacob and the wolves are going to stay peaceful with us after you turn Bella? It's the same thing every month Edward, another new battle, another fight, some new drama, never catching even a tiny break" Addison scoffed standing up from her spot on the couch "and I'm tired of it" she began to walk to the door when Alice suddenly spoke up "Addison... if the Volturi had killed you... would you have even cared?"
There it was, the scary question they all wanted to know the answer to, had those nine months alone and getting her memories of her human life back finally pushed her over the edge... Was it too late to save her from insanity?
"I... just don't like how we how to live anymore, I don't like the constant fights or the constant worrying, I don't like wondering if the Volturi is going to kill all of you because of Bella... and I don't like that you all can just ignore the Volturi killing innocent kids"...
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A/n~ So just a heads up the next chapter is going to be depressing as well maybe even more so but it will have some happy to help tone it down, but here it is part of the meltdown you all or most of you wanted Addison to have since New Moon.
So I hope you enjoyed it and please leave any comments or criticisms <3 Jade