ALEX.
Nobody liked Monday mornings, that's why Alex and Lily ate their breakfast in silence. The Marauders, who were seated nearby, were also untypically quiet. Alex glanced at Sirius, which ate his breakfast very unenthusiastically and stared at his juice glass.
Alex remembered what had happened in the passageway and bit her lip; it was too bittersweet. She blamed firewhiskey but she couldn't denied that neither she nor Sirius wanted for it to stop. Alex shook her head; she couldn't think that kind of thoughts.
Yesterday evening Sirius apologized for kissing her, he stated that that was out of line from his part. Alex knew that he was disappointed in himself, but she would never expected an apology. Sirius Black himself apologized to a girl; it was something so unreal.
Alex caught herself realizing that Sirius surprised her more and more every day, and for some reason she didn't like that.
"Miss Watson," in this quite Monday morning Professor's McGonagall's voice was like a lightning strike from clear sky, it startled everyone; Lily almost spilled her juice. However, everyone including Marauders looked first at Alex and then at professor. "Professor Dumbledore wants to see you in his office, please follow me," Alex did not know what had happened; she couldn't think of anything she might have done wrong to be summoned to headmasters office.
Alex looked around, Marauders was staring at her with their mouths open and Lily was confused, Alex just shrugged her shoulders like saying that she had no clue either of what was happening, then she stood up and followed professor McGonagall out of the Great Hall.
*
Professor Dumbledore sat by his table and read a letter, he looked concerned, he motioned with his hand for Alex to sit down, but professor McGonagall stood beside him. Alex still did not understood why she was here, and that made her nervous.
"Miss Watson you apparently have no idea why you are here," Dumbledore said very calmly, he rested his arms on the table and put together his fingertips. Alex just nodded but said nothing.
"Unfortunately the best way to hear a bad news is to hear then at once," for a moment Alex glanced at professor McGonagall who looked very concerned and then she looked back at Dumbledore. "That's why I will not let you wait longer, I am so sorry to tell to you that your aunt Radella died yesterday."
Alex inhaled sharply, she looked in disbelief at McGonagall and Dumbledore, but it didn't seemed like they were joking. It would be the worst joke to play on someone. She felt the tears pilling up in her eyes, but she bit her lip trying not to cry, because she did not wanted to do that in front of her professors.
Only person from her family who accepted her was dead now. She couldn't believe that, it felt like the most terrible nightmare, she wanted to wake up. Aunt Radella was dead and now Alex was completely alone. There was no one, which Alex loved more deeply and truly than her aunt.
Alex thought that she was breathing ice cold air, because she had a feeling like someone was stabbing her chests with piercing sharp knife, she thought that someone was trying to kill her. Then she realized that it was sorrow, and it didn't felt like it would ever go away. Alex tried to listen what professor McGonagall was saying so that she would not have to think about her icy cold and painful chests.
"You are relieved from classes and all other school work for this week," McGonagall politely told her, "but if you require more time it is possible that other professors would understand because you are one of the top students in our year." Alex did not care about school at all right now; she wouldn't even care if they expelled her right here on the spot, because only person in her life that meant for her the world was dead.
"I will make you a portkey, so you can go home," Dumbledore added quietly, "you will have time to gather your..."
"Can I apparate from the Hogsmeade?" Alex interrupted professor Dumbledore, wiping tears, which managed to escape her eyes, from her cheeks.
"Yes, I think that shouldn't be a problem," after a while Dumbledore spoke, "and you can return whenever you like, you don't have to worry about that." Dumbledore's gaze was understanding, but it didn't help much Alex this time.
"Can I go?" Alex asked fighting back tears and trying not to sound too much pathetic.
Professor Dumbledore just nodded and Alex practically ran out of his office. When she was out of there, she realized that she couldn't hold back tears anymore. She cried all the way back to the common room.
*
It was already almost lunchtime but Alex still sat on her bed, she wavered that she could survive this week. Alex looked at the clock, there wasn't much time left to leave if she wanted to stay unnoticed. She put on a coat and a scarf, placed a note on Lily's bed in which she explained what has happened, took her bag and left.
She met no one while she was walking through the castle, when she was out of the castle in the chilly November air; she heard the bell, which announced lunchtime. Alex pulled coat closer around her body and fighting back tears started to walk towards Hogsmeade.
Alex apparated in front of the house of her parents, but she waited before entering the grounds. She didn't had strength to meet her parents, because she knew very well it wouldn't be pleasant. Finally, she opened the gates and stepped on the gravel road, which led to old mansion, which belonged to her family for centuries.
She opened the doors and entered the entrance hall; it was quiet. Alex's mother came out of the living room; she was petite woman with chocolate brown hair just like Alex's. Only all her presence was complete opposite to Alex, from her mother radiated coldness and dominance, there was no trace of warmth and politeness in her face.
"Alex," she said coldly.
"Mother," Alex answered matching her mother's coldness. Then Alex turned and started her way upstairs to her bedroom.
"Funeral is in Thursday at 11 o'clock in France," Alex turned to look on her mother from the top of the stairs, but all she saw was her back disappearing behind the doors to the living room.
Alex went to her room, which she had used maybe couple of times in the last years, all her holidays she spent in France with her aunt. She sat in the bed and studied the room, it was large and bright, all the stuff in the room was neatly placed on shelves or tables, all her clothes were folded or hung in the closet, almost if they waited for her to return, but she didn't wanted to stay here, she didn't felt like home here.
Alex walked around the room; she looked at all the things and realized that she did not want any of this. All her stuff was in France. These were just thing and actually meant nothing to her. Alex took her bag and went down to the kitchens, she threw some Floo powder in the fireplace and went straight to France, Alex didn't wanted to be here not for one more minute longer.
*
It was Friday evening and Alex went down to the basement, she locked herself in the room, which was made especially for her, and sat in the corner on the cold stone floor. She hugged her knees with her arms and placed her chin on them. Alex cried once again, she did not even tried to wipe away her tears. Deep down in her heart she tried to promise herself that this would be the last time she cried.
She had cried too much, Alex was surprised that she could even produce so many tears. In the past week, she had cried about her family and how much they hated her, about her aunt who was gone and will never come back, about the fact that now Alex was alone, and about everything she didn't cry usually. She remembered how she had cried when Alex found a package for herself in aunt's room, which contained five beautiful dresses for her Christmas Ball for Alex to choose from.
Alex felt mentally weak; she couldn't remember when she had cried so much. And she didn't liked to be weak. That's why she tried to promise herself again that this would be the last time, at least for a while. She lifted her head to look at the small window, she waited and after a couple of minutes beautiful silver moonlight shone in the basement.
SIRIUS.
In the Sunday afternoon all Marauders sat in the common room and played exploding snap. Nobody wanted to study, because their minds was preoccupied with other things. Alex was gone for a whole week and nobody had heard from her. Lily told them what had happened and why Alex was gone, but Remus told them how much Alex loved her aunt and that she was the only one from her family who accepted Alex.
Sirius still didn't knew why Alex's family hated her, but it didn't looked like Remus was going to tell them that any time soon, but it was clear that he knew. Sirius looked at Remus who still looked too weak after Friday's transformation, but still he agreed to play cards with them.
Every time someone opened the portrait hole, Sirius and Remus shoot a look that way, waiting to see Alex coming back. However, hours passed by and there was no sign of her. Soon there would be time for dinner, and Sirius laid on the couch in front of the fireplace, he tried not to think about Alex, but he couldn't.
"Alex?!" he heard Lily's voice, he jumped from the couch and looked at the portrait hole. And there she was with her beautiful chocolate brown hair with caramel highlights and amazing honey brown eyes. Sirius felt calm overcome his body.
But then their eyes met, and he felt icy poke in his heart. Her eyes were so empty, like there was nothing in this world that she cared about, all her warmth and joyfulness was gone. Alex looked away from Sirius and looked at Lily. Apparently, Lily noticed Alex's eyes too, because she stopped dead on the spot.
Alex just turned and left for the girls bedrooms.
*
All this week while they were waiting for Alex Lily ate dinners together with Marauders, this evening wasn't exception and Lily sat with them, but Alex didn't even bothered to come down to dinner. They ate in silence like they usually did, before this year Marauders never ate in silence, but now it was usual. Sirius hated that.
"Evening," it was Alex, she was here with them, "Enjoy your meal," she said quietly and started to put some dessert on her plate. Everybody just watched her and said nothing.
"How are you feeling?" Lily carefully asked, but Alex just continued to eat her dessert and stared somewhere over all the students heads, she did not even tried to answer.
Sirius studied Alex, her hair was in high ponytail and he saw a very nasty scar that started somewhere near her ear, continued across her neck and disappeared under her sweater. Alex's hands were bruised and scarred, her eyes were puffy, and blue circles under her eyes were uncharacteristically big.
He did not get what had happened with Alex. Was it her who does that to herself, of was it her family? But it didn't seemed like the right time to ask about that, because they all just kept silent.
*
Next week was the week of Silence (yes, with a capital letter). Everything that happened between every one of them was in silence, they talked very little and they just kept an eye on Alex. But Alex was the one who practically didn't talked at all. They just heard a couple of "Hello's", "Thank You's" and "Good Bye's" from Alex. Well she answered if professors asked her anything, but otherwise she just kept silent, she did not even spoke to Lily and that was bad.
It was late Friday evening and every Marauder was getting ready to go to bed. Sirius was already under the blanket and checked in the Marauders Map if Alex was in her bedroom. He put the map down and decided that he really needed some good night sleep. However, suddenly there was a knock on their door. James stood up very confused and went to open the door.
"Lily?" Sirius turned just in time to see James run a hand through his hair and Lily blushing a little bit because James was half-naked.
"Can I come in?" she asked shyly trying not to look at James.
"Yes, of course," James stepped aside letting her in and run his hand through his hair once again. They all exchanged looks but didn't say anything.
"Lily, what's happened?" it was Remus who broke the silence.
"Alex," she said quietly and sat on James's bed, Sirius could see in James's face that he would most likely jump up and down from joy if this situation wasn't that serious. "She hasn't spoken to anyone since she returned, she doesn't eat or sleep, she just studies or lays wide awake in her bed and stares at one point with empty look in her eyes. I am so worried about her."
Sirius also knew that Alex liked to wonder around the castle at nights, or she liked to sit in the kitchens or on top of the Astronomy Tower. He knew that just because he stalked her every free moment, he was concerned that she might do something stupid. Looking at her dot in the Marauders Map and following her using Invisibility cloak was the new hobbies of Sirius for the past week.
"She doesn't speak to me either," Remus confessed, he now sat on his bed. Lily sighed and hid her face in her palms. Sirius caught that James just needed a second to pause when he sat down next to Lily and put a hand around her shoulders.
"What can we do to make things better?" James asked softly not to worry Lily more than necessary.
"Well, I thought that maybe Sirius..." she stopped and looked at him. Sirius was the only one who hadn't tried to talk to Alex, he had just tried to be next to her but never to speak to her.
"Why would she talk to me?" he questioned Lily's statement.
"I am almost sure that Alex will not speak to you either, but you are the only one who can be next to her like nobody else," Sirius sighed, he was afraid of this. If this was true what Lily just said, that it meant that there was some possibility for Sirius and Alex. But this was a shit time to seize the day.
"Are you sure?" Sirius asked very unsurely.
"Yeah, you are the only hope for Alex right now," she said sadly.
"Are rest of the girls asleep in your room?"
"Yes," Lily was surprised, "what are you going to do?"
But Sirius was already out of the bed and with a wand in his hand left the room. He stopped in front of the girl's bedroom staircase, murmured some spell and without a problem went up the stairs. He stopped by the door, quietly opened it and snuck inside.
Alex laid in bed but she was awake. She had lost some weight; it was written all over her face that she had slept maybe two nights in the past week, her eyes were empty. She looked at Sirius, slightly frowned surprised to see him here, but then she turned back to looking at one specific point on the wall like she did before.
Sirius went to her bed and got under the covers next to Alex. She did not even move. Sirius put a hand beneath her neck and then completely pulled her to his body, he felt how Alex tried to protest, but after a while she stopped. He held her tightly not letting her move, then he put his lips to her ear and spoke very quietly.
"It's alright," he whispered, "everything's going to be fine; I will not let anybody hurt you. Don't you worry, I am here and you are safe." He repeated that again and again until he felt Alex's body shiver a little bit and she pressed herself even more to him, after a while he felt her tears soaking through his T-shirt.
Sirius heard how Lily entered the bedroom, before she got into bed she looked at Sirius and Alex and smiled a weak but a little bit happy smile. With a wand Sirius closed the curtains of the bed, then he started to stroke rhythmically Alex's back. She cried very quietly, resting her head on Sirius's chests. After a while Alex fell asleep but Sirius continued to stroke her back.
ALEX.
"Shh, you will wake them up," Alex heard someone whispering angrily, "Let's go to lunch."
Lunch, where did breakfast go? Alex was too sleepy to understand what was happening. She had slept and her body felt like she had slept for a long time. Alex tried to move, but she couldn't, only thing she could move was her arm. Somebody was holding her, she opened her eyes and saw still sleeping Sirius, he was the one holding her and it did not looked like he would let her go.
Alex closed her eyes remembering last night's events. She still could not believe that it was Sirius, who managed to pull her out of her rock bottom. Sirius who did not cared about anyone else except Marauders, he just came to her and held her like a little child without a question. She could never forget how safe she felt in his arms.
Not just yesterday but also today she felt Sirius's warm and strong hands around her body, they gave her shelter and it didn't matter that it was just for a couple of moments. She felt safe, and Alex couldn't remember the last time she felt safe.
She gently touched Sirius's cheek; he moved just a little bit and then pulled her even closer if it was even possible. Alex hugged him with her free hand and squeezed very tightly.
"Watson, is this some kind of attempt of murder?" Sirius tried to joke, but it was difficult because it looked like he could not breathe properly.
"No, but I would like to know why you came last night?" she asked seriously but small smile played on her lips.
She looked in his eyes and saw there relief, she also felt relieved, Sirius smiled.
"Because that was the only thing I could think of that could make you feel better," he said caressing her cheek. "You needed to get out of that black hole you were in, and that's a fact."
"Thank You," she sighed and closed her eyes. She felt Sirius kissing her forehead.
"Don't even mention it," he said quietly.
Alex hugged him one more time and then got out of the bed. "I'm sorry but you have to leave now," she stated simply, Alex looked at very puzzled Sirius and explained. "I am starving and I need to take a shower before lunch, so you have to leave," she smiled at still puzzled Sirius, which hadn't moved an inch and went to the bathroom.
After a shower Alex felt better, she got dressed and went down to the common room. Marauders and Lily was waiting for her, Alex guilty stood in front of them.
"Please forgive me," she said very quietly and warily looked at her friends, they were smiling comforting smiles, and that made Alex feel a little bit better.
"It is fine," Remus said and came to her, "let's go to lunch otherwise you look worse than a hungry wolf." Alex raised her eyebrows in surprise, but Remus just winked and pushed her to the portrait hole.
In the time of the following month everything slowly fell into place. Alex was eating and sleeping, and she was once again talking to her friends. She felt that old herself was returning, and Alex liked it. Only thing that had changed was the need to sleep besides Sirius, because she had discovered that beside him was the only place she could fell asleep very fast and sleep almost through whole night.
And that was the reason why she slept in Sirius's bed couple of times per week, they just slept together, nothing happened. Alex was very surprised that Sirius not even once tried to make a move on her. And that was very hard to explain to others, because they didn't believe. Finally, Alex gave up, she didn't even tried to explain, she didn't care what Marauders and Lily thought.