“So what are you planning?”
“For what?” Cas asked, sighing as he ran his fingers through his “Sex Hair”. Switching the phone to his other ear, he absentmindedly petted Shiba while trying to read To Kill A Mockingbird, eventually realized that he had been reading the same line over and over again without getting any meaning out of it for the last 5 minutes. Must’ve been Dean jabbering away in his ear on the phone.
“It’s the Fourth of July, Cas!” Dean paused and Cas just knew that Dean was doing widening his eyes and holding his breathe like he did when he got passionate about something. “‘Murica!”
Cas rolled his eyes; America’s independence day wasn't really a big thing for him. From what he’d heard, it was mostly an excuse for people to eat foods dripping with lipids with their families and watch nuclear explosions in the sky whilst celebrating the anniversary of old white men signing a piece of paper because they wanted to be independent.
Dean probably heard him rolling his eyes over the phone and sighed. “Cas, how come I’m always the one begging you to go places with me while you remain all antisocial and cooped up in your room?”
He turned red. “That’s not true!”
“Name one time when you made me go with you.”
There was silence as Cas tried to think of something.
“See?”
“Wait! How about your birthday? You didn't want to make a big deal and out of and-”
“Aww, come on, Cas,” interrupted Dean, exasperated, “that was my birthday. That doesn't count.”
“Well…..I’m not antisocial!”
“Come with me tonight and don’t complain once, then I’ll believe you.”
Cas resisted the urge to groan, he really didn't want to go out tonight, he was tired from all that studying and To Kill A Mockingbird was a really good book and-
Sighing, he tried one last resort. “We could celebrate by you coming over and we can eat food and read Harry Potter and cuddle.”
“Antisocial..…!”
He hummed angrily; Dean had won, and they both knew it.
“Fine,” he grumbled out passive aggressively, “I’ll come to your stupid celebration.”
Dean chuckled, a dark low chuckle that he had always thought was kind of hot but now it made him even more irritated.
“I love you, Cas.” he said mockingly.
“Yeah, yeah.”
July 4th, 8:29:12 PM
Cas would never admit it out loud, but he was glad that he agreed to go with Dean the second he sat down in the Impala and Dean looked up at him, grinning widely and immediately taking his hand, squeezing it. It had been a little more than 5 months that they met and they had been spending almost every waking moment together, but Cas always felt the butterflies fly frantically around in his stomach every time he saw his soul mate; Cas could never get enough of Dean, his smile, his eyes, his laugh, his freckles, his selflessness, his kindness, his stupid sense of humor that no one laughed at but himself. It was all Dean, and Cas drunk it in every time.
How’d I get so lucky?
“OK,” the mechanic remarked, his one hand on the wheel. “We’re gonna get hotdogs from the place by- and we’ll get you your dumbass tofu ones cause you're a lame vegetarian-place by the garage, and then we’re gonna go watch the fireworks in the infamous Winchester backyard.”
“Why is it infamous?”
Dean smirked, and told him with a dark undertone to his voice, “Ya don’t wanna know.”
Cas laughed, slightly hoping that Dean was joking (but knowing Dean’s, well, colorful, past regarding his father, he couldn't really tell) and considered stating that reading Harry Potter and cuddling would be better, but decided against saying it and Dean calling him antisocial for the rest of their lives.
“And then,” Dean continued, “you can stay over and we can read Harry Potter and cuddle cause I know that you were just thinking about telling me that that would be better than hotdogs and fireworks.”
Cas smiled, grazing his thumb over Dean’s. “You know me so well,” he teased.
**************************
Dean plopped down on the blanket that he had spread over the grass, offering Cas his hand. Cas didn’t take it as an attempt to maintain his dignity, and sat down next to his soul mate in the small backyard of the Winchester house; It was a surprisingly clean one, considering that their house was a whole different story and Cas and Jess were always nagging the brothers to at least try and clean it up, and the 19 year old felt oddly at peace right there. Cas looked over, and right there, next to him, was Dean.
It was where he belonged, wasn’t it?
Right next to Dean.
Warmth spread from Cas’s hand as Dean took it in his silently, smiling softly down at him while reaching into a cooler, bringing out a beer, then (obviously having second thoughts by the look on his face) shook his head and put it back.
Cas heard an explosion high above them and turned, gasping when he saw the first colossal bright blue firework ripple across the ocean of dark. Two smaller red ones shot up, exploding on either side of the first one, generating beauty, causing tremors. He faintly heard Dean laugh beside him, but he couldn't move, no, because suddenly there were a dance of colors across the canvas of the sky, and Cas watched, mesmerized.
It went on and on and on and on and Cas was afraid to blink in fear of missing something, when finally, the last gigantic, hot, burning streak of light exploded, illuminating the starry night sky. It returned to a silence that was a way too quiet for Cas’s liking, and he eventually tore his eyes off of the sky to look at Dean, who was watching him.
“What?” he breathed out, feeling as if he was on a sugar high from all the things that he had seen, without having any time to take it all in properly.
Dean grinned, and Cas thought he blushed there just for a second- but that was impossible, because Dean didn’t blush- before looking down and scratching at his arm absentmindedly before shaking his head and muttering out a “Nothing, you’re just so…nothing. Never mind.”
You can tell me.”
“Nah, it’s stupid.”
Cas decided not to push it, and looked down at the unconsumed hotdogs that they were supposed to eat silently. He felt crazy, reckless, on an adrenaline rush, and didn’t feel like reading Harry Potter and cuddling anymore.He wanted to do something stupid and silly, something that they would look back on in the future and ask themselves what the hell they were doing because they were two grown men. Standing up and abandoning his food, Cas grabbed Dean’s arm and pulled him up, laughing out loud for no reason in general when Dean stood up immediately to face him.
“Come on, Dean.”
“What?” he asked, looking back at the blanket and food.
Cas’s face lit up with a smile that reached his eyes.
“Let’s go build a fort.”
**************************
They raced to all the bedrooms inside the house, laughing the entire time and laughing even harder as they grabbed all the blankets and pillows they could grab and bringing it back to Dean’s room. Dean came back dragging six chairs from the dining table and arranged them in a large circle in the empty space of the room, close to the end of his bed. Cas watched as Dean, using safety pins, pinned three sheets together at the edges, and helped him, both giggling, drape the blanket over the chairs.
This is the most childish thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I love it.
Dean disappeared out of the room and came back seconds later with carrying a huge load of books that were presumably Sam’s and 2 heavy books down on each chair to hold the blankets down.
“Have you done this before?”
Dean barely looked up, setting the books down on the last chair. “Oh, yeah. Sam and I used to do this all the time when we were kids.”
“Oh.”
Dean smiled, pulling Cas towards him and kissing him hard and sloppy, and Cas was such in a hazy state of mind so that the only thing he could think to was to kiss him back as equally as hard, and when Dean pulled back Cas didn’t let him, leaning forward even more so just to prolong the kiss a second more.
They ended up not building the fort because they were both too giggly and drunk on each other to focus on a task at hand, and Cas eventually found himself surrounded by a gigantic bundle of white blankets and pillows and sheets and quilts with Dean wrapped up in him; God knew whose leg was whose and whose arm was whose because the boys were too tangled up in each other to figure it out. Cas was slightly aware of Dean currently kissing his neck at the moment whilst Cas’s hand rested on his back, his leg half curled around the other boy’s hip. Dean laughed again, and the blue eyed boy’s vision tipped as Dean pushed him gently back, so he was laying on top of the soft whiteness of the blankets. Dean lay on top of him, pushing himself up with his elbows as he stopped and stared at Cas.
“So beautiful,” he whispered, and Cas had to remind himself to breathe when Dean bent his head to rub his lips over his own. Sliding his hand down slowly on Dean’s back, Cas lifted his head off the blankets in an effort to capture Dean’s lips with his, but Dean was too fast for him; He was already kissing his way down to Cas’s chest. Pleasure erupted from the places where the wet kisses were being placed all over Cas’s skin, and he involuntarily sighed in content. Dean laughed, moving his way up to his soul mate’s face, and he paused, taking in the sight of him. When Dean started unbuttoning Cas’s shirt was when Cas realized what he was doing.
“Wait!” he hysterically yelled out, and Dean immediately froze. Sitting up, Cas stared down at Dean as the Winchester sat up as well and stared back at him, eyes wide and breathing hard. Cas realized that he had said that a little too panicky, and that Dean was probably scared that he had forced Cas into something, so he leaned forward and cupped his boyfriend’s face with his hand. He immediately relaxed under his touch.
“I don’t…I’m sorry. Not now. I said I wanted to, and I do, but…not now.”
Dean cleared his throat and replied, “Of course. Of course, Cas. I’m sorry.”
“No, no. It’s not your fault.” Dean opened his mouth to speak again- probably in protest- and Cas gently covered his mouth with his hand. “It’s fine. Really.”
Cas leaned forward a bit more to smooth his hands over Dean’s chest in reassurance but Dean flinched ever so slightly, so he retreated back and buttoned up the two buttons that Dean had undone. Dean dropped his eyes to Cas’s fingers. his face snow white and blank. When he finished buttoning them up, Dean looked back up at Cas and nodded curtly.
“Okay.”
A silence that was a little too loud for Cas’s liking followed that as they both stared at each other, asking the same question with their eyes.
What now?
Cas leaned forward and hugged his soul mate, resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder. It just kind of felt like the right thing to do, and after a moment, Dean hugged back tightly.
They spent the rest of their evening reading Harry Potter and cuddling, being careful to avoid the topic of what had just happened. And the funny thing was, they had fun doing that too.
July 15th, 10:29:12 AM
Shiba meowed in protest as Cas sighed and forced her into the other room, grimacing when he heard his boyfriend’s sneezing stop as he walked back into the living room. Dean was blinking his eyes rapidly in an effort to stop his eyes from watering as usual, and Cas rubbed his back in sympathy.
Dean had spent the night over at Cas’s house and was getting ready to go to work, when Shiba had scurried into the room into Cas’s lap causing, as usual, an allergy fest on Dean’s part. He had gotten a little less allergic to her, but it was still there, and pretty bad. It was sad, really, that Dean and Shiba couldn’t be in the same room together; He had, after all, given her to Cas and there was something quite wrong about him not being able to form a bond with her.
Dean finished tying his boots, turning around to give Cas a smile that ended up in a grimace. In an effort to wipe that grimace off his face, Cas slowly leaned forward, and, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck, kissed him softly. It only lasted for a second and Dean chuckled, pulling back and touching his forehead against Cas’s, staring his bright emerald orbs into Cas’s Caribbean blue ones. Dean kissed him gently once more and Cas got into it, moving his hands slowly from Dean’s neck to his cheekbones, his chest, his waist, finally ending up running his hands through Dean’s hair. Dean had his arms wrapped tightly around his waist, going into his coat, and Cas was wondering how far this was going to go because at this point he was just about ready to let Dean go ahead and-
“You know I’m here right?”
They jumped back, whipping their heads around to see a embarrassed Eric standing in the doorway of the kitchen right behind them with a half eaten apple in his hand.
“Eric!” said Cas, and it came out all high pitched and breathless and hysterical.
Dean blinked a few times, frowning as if he was just realizing that Eric had been right behind them (for some reason) the whole time. “What.” he said, saying the word like a statement rather than a question.
Eric chuckled awkwardly, pausing to take the time to take a bite of the apple he was currently holding and plop down on the couch next to them. The soul mates instinctively moved away from Eric, and Cas turned away from him, who was taking his time chewing on the bite of the apple, to check on Dean. He was giving Eric the weirdest look, like he had just grown another head or something.
Cas hadn't gotten much time to get to know Eric; In fact, he realized, that he hadn’t really talked to him since they had met that day.
Huh. I really need to get to know the guy.
“OK, first of all, how the hell did you get in here, and second of all, why the hell were you watching us, you creep?!”
Dean had finally exploded. It probably had something to do with keeping his whole macho man reputation up around people; Having a guy see him making out with his boyfriend on the couch was slightly contradicting to that whole appearance.
Cas fiercely gave Dean his shut up Dean look that he had perfected over the time they had known each other, and he watched Eric grin slightly, shrugging and rubbing his forearm where a dragon scale was tattooed on his pale skin. Pushing up his glasses, Eric replied, “Anna was complaining about how she didn't have her sketchbook with her last night, so I decided to swing by and grab it for her before heading to work. Then I remembered that she was craving mac and cheese a while ago and I don’t have time to go to the store today so I was looking for a can in the pantry.”
Dean looked like he was about explode again, so Cas asked him why he didn't tell them that he was there when they came into the living room, and Eric pointed out that as soon as they came in Dean started sneezing and then before he knew it, they started kissing so he didn't really have anytime to interject. Cas then politely asked him to leave and Eric let out a tense bark of laughter before getting up to leave.
He stopped just before his hand touched the door, frowning and turning around to look at the couple staring at him from the couch thoughtfully.
“Hey, Cas?”
“Hmm?”
“Is Dean…allergic to Shiba?”
“Yeah,” Cas huffed in frustration, “he’s the one that gave her to me so…it kind of sucks.”
“You do know that there are pills for that?”
Cas tilted his head to the side and squinted at Eric, replying, “Wait, what?”
“There are. My brother used to take them for our cat and they were hella effective.”
Dean looked to Cas, crunching his eyebrows together. “Huh,” he simply said, “that’s…convenient.”
“Do you want me to pick it up for you, Dean?” Eric asked. “They only cost about 150 to 200 bucks.”
Yesyesyesyes now Dean can actually spend time with Shiba and they can form a bond with each other and it could be all magical and Disney movie where everyone lives happily ever after just like Harry and Hedwig.
Except Hedwig died.
And Harry lost basically, all of his friends.
Huh.
Dean hesitated, scratching at his arm and staring at the ground. His face turned pink, and Cas, for a moment, was confused.
Why won’t he take it? This is great!
Dean huffed out a uneasy laugh, turning to look at Cas, widening his eyes in an attempt to convene him some secret message. Cas frowned, not getting it, until Dean mouthed “money” and it hit him.
Dean was still…well…poor as all out. He didn't have that kind of money to spend on stuff like this; In fact, he was still working hard as hell in order to get the money for Sam’s graduate school, along with meeting their basic needs every month. How could he forget? Just because Sam had a scholarship to Briggs didn't solve all their financial problems, it just solved a major one.
Cas didn't like thinking about it, but he knew that the Winchesters still had to scramble to get the rent and bills paid, and a lot of times, getting food on the dinner table was a struggle. Now that their dad was in jail and not giving them a sum of money every month in order to pay for their basic needs, life was twice as hard. The worst part of it was that both the Winchester boys were extremely stubborn and immediately refused help from anyone, whether it be Cas or Jess or Bobby.
Cas thought it was incredibly unfair really; that Dean and Sam had to go through all that despite being…well, them, that the world was unfair, life was unfair, and when he had once voiced that to Dean, Dean had just smiled sadly and kissed him.
There was nothing that the both of them could do.
Eric cleared his throat, scattering Cas’s thoughts.
“Well?” he asked. “Do you want me to get it for you?”
Cas turned to look at Dean, who shook his head slightly; Knowing that Dean wouldn't in his wildest dreams let Cas pay for it, Cas put on a fake smile and turned to Eric.
“No thanks, Eric. We’ll be fine.”