I was up all night, I couldn't fall asleep because of so many reasons. My past, Alexander's admission that he wants to kiss me and that he thinks about me, college, my jobs, mostly Charles though. He had tossed and turned and groaned all through the night. I would get up quietly and check on him. He never woke up but I could tell he was in pain.
So was I.
I wasn't hurt physically, not this time. But my heart was broken for this man. A man I hardly knew anything about but I knew he didn't deserve to be treated the way he had gotten treated. He deserves so much more, and I wish with my whole heart that I could give it to him. I sit up on the couch and throw the covers off of me. As I wipe the non existent sleep from my eyes, there's a knock at the door.
I already know it's Jacob.
I get up and open the door, "hey Ja- Alex?" I see Alexander leaning against the wall. I look around and see the other two aren't with him.
"It's just me, Gabriella. They're running a little late this morning." I nod my head at him. I glance down at his hands. He's holding a bag and some coffees. "I didn't figure you've eaten yet." He shrugs and glances around me looking inside the apartment.
I was not expecting to see Alexander today. But, I'm not complaining. I don't know if our conversation has planted seeds in my mind or what but I can't help but check him out today. It's early and he looks absolutely wonderful, in black slacks and a maroon button down, sleeves rolled to his elbow.
And the shoes. It hits me like a blast of cold air. I want to like Alexander, I mean I do like him but I don't know if it would ever work between us. Not saying I have a chance anyway, plus he hasn't been the most welcoming person when it comes to me.
I want a man to want me, not just sexually but to want to see me, to make me smile and laugh. To help me through the hard days and hold me at night when my past haunts me the most. I want him to think that I'm enough, to know I'm worth something. That once he has me, he never wants to let me go.
I just want to be valued and for someone to stay.
I don't feel like I'm worth much but it would be nice to have someone in my life who thinks I'm priceless.
"Are you going to make me stand out here all day?" He questions with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
I shake my head, " no, come in. I was just expecting you to be Jacob."
"Sorry to disappoint." He walks by me and I touch his arm. He looks down at my hand and then at me, steely gray eyes locked on my blue ones.
"I'm glad you're here, Alexander. I didn't mean anything by that." I let go of his arm and smile at him. "Come on, let's set that down." I brush past him and walk into the living room.
"I wasn't sure what you or Charles liked so I just got a bit of everything and some black coffees. Sugars and creamers are in the bag. Where is he?" He asks as he pulls out muffins and bagels from the bag.
"He's still asleep, he didn't sleep well at all last night." I open a few packets of sugar and creamer and pour them into my coffee. After stirring it, I take a good long sip. "Mmm" I cant help but moan. That's some good coffee. Not like the cheap stuff I buy. "Thank you, Alexander. This is so good."
Alex is just staring at me and when I smile at him, he shakes his head and clears his throat. "Oh uh yeah, no problem. I'm glad you like it. Did you get any sleep last night?"
I shake my head, "no I haven't been to sleep yet."
"I want to be mad about that, but I can't. I didn't get any either. You should lay down and get some sleep once Jacob gets here."
Speaking of.
Jacob and Cade walk in arguing about something. "I told you it's fine, Cadey." I hear Cade groan but he doesn't say anything to Jacob.
"Jacob what the hell? Why don't you knock. You can't just walk into Gabriella's apartment like that."
"That's what I tried to tell him" Cade tell us, as he stands behind Jacob with his arms crossed and glaring at the back of his head.
"It's fine" I start to say more but Alex cuts me off.
"The hell it is. Don't do that again, Jacob." Jacob rolls his eyes at Alex.
"Alright, Dad. Sheesh. What crawled up your ass this morning? I walk into your place without knocking all the time." He shrugs and walks over to me slinging his arm around my shoulders. "Morning, B."
"Morning, J." I smile up at him and he smiles back.
"Yes, Jacob. I know you do that. One, because I gave you a key. Two, because I've known you for over half of my life. Three, because I don't give a fuck if you see me in my underwear or naked." Alex basically growls out.
Jacob's eyes widen and he looks at me, "Damn it, he's right. Sorry about that B." He removes his arm and starts fixing his coffee. "I mean I wouldn't want to see that. No, not at all." Jacob smirks at Alex.
All I hear is a grunt from Alex and a snicker from Jacob. I watch Cade walk around the counter and he gives me a side hug, "good morning, Bri. How are you?"
"Good morning, I'm alright." I lean into his hug and he squeezes me tighter for a moment then let's me go.
"Alex and I are here to talk to Charles and well you of course. How is he? Is he up yet?"
"I am. What smells so good?" We all turn our heads to my bedroom door and watch as Charles hobbles into the kitchen.
We all tell him good morning, "Alex was kind enough to bring us some breakfast this morning. Would you like some?" I ask him. He nods and walks over to us.
"Just some black coffee is fine and a bagel. I can't have too much without my meds and I don't have a way to check my sugar right now, they took my meter." I watch as he takes a sip of coffee. "Thank you, son. That's some good coffee."
Alex nods his head and we all talk while we munch on some breakfast. I can't help but smile. It's nice not eating alone. "What's with the smile, B?" Jacob's face is reflecting mine. He has a smile of his own.
"Just thinking." I shrug. "It's nice not having to eat alone. I like this."
Jacob's features soften and he gives me a sweet smile and then goes right back to eating his muffin. He knew the moment was enough and no words needed to be spoken.
After a few more minutes Jacob says, "Since we're finished eating, we can go sit on the couch and talk about some things. We have to leave in an hour to get to the doctors appointment on time, though." We all agree and walk to the living room to sit. All the men sit on the couch and I sit criss cross applesauce in front of them.
I look at Alex and see he's amused, "what?" I ask him.
"Why do you always do that? Sit in front of us instead of beside us?"
I stiffen. He notices and all traces of amusement leaves his face. "I'm sorry, Gabriella. Forget I asked. I'm sorry, okay."
I nod at him, "it's okay. You didn't know it would bother me."
"I would if you would talk to us."
"Another day, promise." Even though I was talking to Alexander. Cade and Jacob heard and they nod in agreement.
Another day. My body finally relaxes once my mind and my heart are in mutual agreement that I'm okay.
"So, Charles. My name is Cade Brown, I didn't get to properly introduce myself yesterday." He holds out his hand and Charles shakes it. "Alex and I were discussing something with each other last night and we would like to discuss it with you, if that's alright." I'm absolutely confused.
"In due time, young grasshopper." Jacob whispers to me and winks. Obviously seeing the look on my face, he knows I don't understand what's going on.
"What's going on?" I still ask.
"Well," Cade says, dragging out the word. "My mom is a realtor and she also owns an apartment complex in downtown. About ten minutes from the diner you work at, Bri. There's one unit available right now. We'd like for you to move into it, Charles. That way it gets you off the streets and this doesn't happen to you again."
"I can't afford an apartment, son. But, I appreciate the fact that you thought about me." He pats Cade's shoulder and sips on his coffee, wincing when the cup touches the cut close to his lip.
"No, sir. You don't understand. It's already paid for. All you have to do is move in. You won't owe a thing."
"But" he trails off for a few seconds. "Well, how's that possible?" Charles' bushy gray brows pinch together in confusion.
"Alex. It's his." Cade points to Alex and I snap my eyes to look at him so fast, waiting for him to explain.
He nods his head, "Yeah, It's mine, I bought it while dating Kate and we stayed there for a while once we were engaged." He looks at me and then back to Charles. "I hate that place and want nothing more than to be out from under it. I'm giving it to you, if you'll take it. All you have to do is say yes and it's yours. We'll go and have everything switched to your name and I'll pay your electric and water and whatever else you need for a year."
"Put me down for a year too." Jacob chimes in. We all look at him, "what? I want to help too." He shrugs.
"So, what do you say, Mister...?"
"Davis." Charles answers.
"Mr. Davis, What do you say?"
"I say it's too much, way too much. Gabriella, what do you think?" Every man sitting on the couch turns their eyes to me. Giving me their full attention.
In such a short amount of time, these guys have made a home in my heart. Despite their attitudes, goofiness, or quietness. They're unapologetically themselves and they do what they feel like is necessary. Consequences be damned sometimes. And right now they're so willing to help this man, they don't even know. If that isn't growth or change, then I don't know what is. I don't cry, I haven't in a very long time. Tears solve nothing, they don't help or heal. But in this moment that's all I want to do.
And so I do. I cry.
Maybe I can't give him more, but these three can. Maybe wishes do come true. They just come in the form of three tall, growly, goofy, quiet men. I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around my legs. I bury my face and let the tears fall.
After a few moments, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and when I return, everyone is standing up. "Come here, B." Jacob holds his arms out and I don't hesitate. He hugs me tight and releases me to Charles.
"It's okay, angel. I know." He rubs my back and I wipe my face.
I walk to Cade when he waves me over and he squeezes me. "It's all going to be okay, Bri." I nod at him and try to smile.
I start to sit back down but Alex says, "don't I get one?" I look at him and his opened arms for a minute. "Well?"
I walk into them and he instantly wraps his arms around my back. Standing on my tippy toes, I wrap mine around his neck, pressing my cheek against his, breathing in his scent. "Thank you." I whisper in his ear.
He pulls back from me quickly and let's me go. He nods his head and I see the walls that I've tried to chip away being built right back up. I'm not sure what all Kate did to him, but she made sure if she couldn't have him, no one else could either.
It's a damn shame too.
"I think this is a chance that doesn't come around very often." I finally swallow the lump in my throat and speak to the guys. "I think you should take what's so kindly being offered to you, Charles" I smile at him and he gives me a knowing look. One that says, I hear you.
And he does.
"Okay, if angel says to do it, I will. If she trusts you boys, than I do too. But I don't know what I could ever do to repay you. I'm a bit overwhelmed." He wipes at his face. Even if no one else noticed, even through my blurry eyes, I seen the tears he shed just moments before.
He's beyond thankful.
"We could go look at it now but I lost the keys. I don't know when but I can't find them." Alex says.
"Oh." I hold up a finger and run to the kitchen to grab the keys out of the drawer. "Are these it?" I ask as I walk back into the living room.
I meant to give them back to whoever they belonged to when I had dinner with the Reed's, but I had forgotten all about them.
"Yeah, I've been looking everywhere. I must've dropped them here. Thanks." He gives me a tight smile.
At least he smiled at me.
See positives.
"Well, we've got to get going to the doctor's office right now. But maybe we could meet up?" Jacob asks looking at Alexander.
"Yeah, sure, sounds good. Me and Cade we'll meet you at the apartment."
We say goodbye to Charles and Jacob. Cade helps me clean up the kitchen. "Well, let's get going and we'll meet up with them." He says after throwing the last coffee cup away.
"Let me get some clothes on, I've got to get ready and head out to the diner, anyway."
"Wait a minute. What time do you have to work at the diner?" Alex asks.
I glance at my bedroom clock and see that it reads eight thirty. "I don't have to be at the diner for another five hours."
Alexander shakes his head, "then you're not going with us."
My mouth falls open and I instantly fold my arms against my chest. "Why?"
"Because, Gabriella." Alex takes a step towards me. "You need rest. You didn't get any sleep last night. You can't work all day and then volunteer all night on no sleep."
"But, I wanted to see the apartment." I whine.
"It has four walls and a roof, sweetheart. The only thing you need to see are the backs of your eyelids."
My heart flutters at his word of endearment. Even though I know he's just mocking or at least I think he is.
"Don't think too much about it. We'll see you later Gabriella. Get some sleep." I give him a look. One that says I'm not too happy right now. He ignores it and just says, "We'll see you, later." At that he walks to the door with Cade following him and he waves bye to me. I wave back and walk to my bedroom after locking my front door.
Maybe Alex was right, I did need some rest. It only takes a moment for me to fall asleep after I stretch out on this amazing bed.