GLORY OR VALHALLA
— 15. Queen of All Norway
It took the man a moment before he regained himself. He stepped forward, beginning to walk around the woman. "Ylva the Dread! Shieldmaiden. Queen of Ashton and Kattegat," He began to speak to her in a loud tone, "Your husband banished me. Took away everything I had. My family, my pride, my identity. He thought I would just crawl away to the forest and die like some animal! But that is not my way. I fought for Ivar and for Freya, but in other circumstances, I would have fought for Bjorn. Or for you! As I served your daughter. I am Viking!"
Slowly, Whitehair, removed his helmet and pointed at the branding on his forehead. "Bjorn did this to me! I can never get rid of it!. But now I can win back my self-respect. I can kill you, Ylva the Dread, the most famous shield-maiden who ever lived. The wife of Bjorn Ironside and the mother of many great warriors who are the future of our people. I can you, she-wolf. And I will!"
"My husband didn't brand you for being loyal to Ivar, you fool!" Ylva scoffed loudly as she pointed her sword toward the man, "He branded you for being disloyal to his father, Ragnar, and everything Ragnar stood for. In his position, I would have done the same. For I believed in Ragnar and his ideals as well. So if I must die on this day for what Ragnar believed in, for what I believed in, then so be it. It shall be worth it," She explained in a low, stern tone while glaring at the man standing before her, "I knew all along it was a mistake for my husband to spare you. And in the process, you have taken both my youngest boy and my brother's only son, his heir. I will not let you take anymore. You will die on this day, Whitehair. Even if I must go down with you."
"Good," Whitehair replied in a calm tone and nodded, "Then be prepared."
Ylva stood in place, moving slowly in a circle around Whitehair. She waited for him to make the first move and it wasn't long before he did.
He grunted and lunged at Ylva, only have her block his form of attack. He slashed at her twice more but the woman was able to avoid it before she was wounded.
They continued to deliver numerous forms of attacks to each other. Ylva fought with every emotion in her, her slashes and swings becoming nothing but anger and rage instead of being actual thought out.
Despite that, all the emotion within her caused her to have the strength she never thought she had. She had swung at Whitehair so many times the man became tired and practically weak.
She swung her shield at him and it ended up being enough to send him flying to the ground.
As he went to get up, Ylva walked toward him. She lifted her leg, wasting no time kicking him in the face.
He fell flat on his back and Ylva walked toward him, wearing an emotionless expression. She watched him try to reach for his sword, only to end up with Ylva's sword driven right through his wrist.
He screamed out in agony and Ylva paid no mind to the crowd of shieldmaidens who had formed around her, including Lagertha, Gunnhild, and Gyda.
Limping slightly, Ylva crouched down beside the man, clutching her right side, where she now had a wound from just moments before when they were fighting.
She took the blade from his hand, tossing it away from him before standing back up. She watched as he grunted in pain as she purposely stepped on his hand, just before ripping the sword out of him.
Whitehair screamed in agony and Ylva smirked, staring down at him while resting her sword on her shoulder. "Please..." Whitehair trailed off weakly, "Mercy. End it quick. I beg of you."
"Mercy? Hah!" Ylva let out a loud laugh as she shook her head, "Mercy is far from what you deserve. You took my son from me. You took my brother's son from me. And I wouldn't be surprised if you had a part in my daughter's death as well."
Ylva raised her sword above her head, yelling out as she began to bring her sword down and straight toward Whitehair.
The man screamed as he raised his hand, only to have the Ylva's blade run straight through it. Many of the warriors cheered for Ylva as she continued to slash at Whitehair.
The others had been cheering as well but as moments passed, the smile had faded from Gyda's lips, alongside many others. Whitehair was visibly dead yet Ylva continued to slash her sword through him.
Gyda began to tear up at the sight, flinching each other her mother's blade pierced Whitehair's skin. His face was unrecognizable at that moment.
Ylva cried as she did so. It was as though she couldn't stop herself. All the pain and suffering she had experienced of late was finally exploding out of her all at once and she couldn't continue it.
Ylva dropped to her knees, continuing to stab Whitehair while screaming and crying.
Finally, Gunnhild took a step forward, on the verge of moving toward her lover. "Ylva. Ylva, stop," She pleaded and finally Ylva froze.
She panted heavily, staring down at Whitehair. Her chest heaved and she looked devasted.
Just then, she let out a loud, heartbroken scream while looking down at Whitehair, just before she began to sob. It was so obvious she finally letting herself mourn her son's death after bottling up the pain for days.
It was utterly silent for several moments afterward, many of those around her beginning to silently cry. They, too, knew her pain. Many of them were mothers themselves, forced to experience the pain of losing a child, especially their sons, just as Ylva had.
Finally, after a moment, Ylva raised her head. She wiped the blood and tears staining her cheek before forcing herself up and off the ground.
She turned in the direction of Gunnhild, finding Gyda and Lagertha standing near her. All three of the women were staring at Ylva, watching her actions closely. They were confused as to how Ylva had recovered from her breakdown so quickly.
She knew what they were thinking and sighed. She clutched the wound on her side, beginning to limp past them.
"My love..." Gunnhild began to say as she went to help Ylva walk, only to have the woman raise her hand in her direction.
"It's alright," She assured her and continued to walk past them.
"I am a shieldmaiden," Gunnhild suddenly spoke up, causing Ylva to stop walking, "I know how to fight. I have fought for my life many times. But I have never seen anything like what you just did."
Ylva began to tear up as she turned to Gunnhild, assuming she was about to be judged for the atrocity that she committed to Whitehair's body.
"If I didn't worship you before, Ylva, I worship you now," Gunnhild confessed, causing Ylva's eyes to widen as many nodded in agreement, "May the gods in all their wisdom keep you alive, for all of our sakes."
"And perhaps one day we will be privileged enough to call you our queen of all Norway," Lagertha suddenly spoke up, smiling at Ylva proudly.
The crowd around them began to beat their swords on their shields, chanting, "Queen Ylva."
Ylva didn't smile, however. Her expression was unreadable as she walked past them. She walked straight past Gyda, who was staring at her in utter shock and awe. She now understood why so many people adored her mother. She inspired them.
______
Inside Lagertha's home, Ylva was sitting alone, gasping in pain as she removed her armor as best as she could. She stripped until she was left in just her pants and her shirt.
As she tried her hardest not to cry out, Ylva lifted her shirt, gasping at the sight of the wound she bore on her right side. She lightly ran her fingers over it, feeling uneasy at the thought of the consequences of such a wound. She was pregnant, after all. Something she seemed to forget of late, which was odd enough.
Hearing the door open, Ylva quickly lovwered her shirt to ensure that her wound was covered. She turned, sighing when she saw it was just Thyra.
The young girl smiled and walked toward her mother. "Are you alright?" Thyra had asked her mother curiously as she stopped in front of her.
"I am fine, my love," Ylva assured her, smiling as she wrapped her arms around Thyra and hugged her.
As she hugged her daughter, Ylva closed her eyes and quietly began to cry. "When I am older, I want to be just like you."
Hearing Thyra's words, Ylva softly smiled and pulled away from the hug to look Thyra in the eye. "You're too young to truly understand it, but I feel as though I must tell you before you grow up hating me like Gyda does," She explained, letting out a deep sigh, "I am an ambitious woman. And being a warrior is my entire life. It's all I've known. At eight years old, I was on my own and fighting was what kept me alive. If I just stopped, I wouldn't even know who I was. It is what I am. But I'm also a mother. Gyda thinks I care about the crown more than all of you but it's not true. I want to be Queen for all of you. I want to make this country better for you. I am a famous woman known throughout the entire world. I have many enemies and there will come a day where I am dead. You will inherit those enemies. I want my children to have enough power to protect yourselves from those enemies. The Kingdom of Norway would protect you, your children, and their children for many years to come. That is why I want to be Queen. For all of you. You are the children of Bjorn Ironside and Ylva the Dread, granddaughter of the famous Ragnar Lothbrok and the great shieldmaiden Lagertha. Many will want your power but you must never let them take it. Do you understand?"
Thyra nodded at her mother's words, watching as her mother smiled and grabbed her hands.
"I love you very much, you must know that. And I will not let what happened to Erik and Freya happen to you, do you understand?" Ylva assured Thyra, who tilted her head to give her a curious look.
"What if it's fate?" Thyra found herself asking her mother out of curiosity.
"It's not. It can't be. Nothing is truly fate. Not unless we can make it so," Ylva assured her daughter and smiled as she lightly stroked the girl's cheek, "We can change our paths. And that is what I intend to do. So I will not lose any more of my children."
"Erik died because he wasn't trained by you or Freya as the others were. I want to learn how to fight," Thyra declared, earning a surprised look from Ylva, "If I do, then I can defend myself if you aren't there."
"You're ten years old," Ylva reminded and Thyra smiled in response.
"Freya, Rorik, and Gyda were eight," She retorted, earning an impressed look from her mother. She was her mother's daughter, that was for sure.
____
It was the middle of the night and Ylva was sitting in bed, unable to sleep when she noticed Lagertha making her way through. She was clearly preparing to leave. "What are you doing?" She asked, causing Lagertha to sigh as she made her way over to her.
"I am going back to Kattegat," She informed Ylva calmly, "I need to tell them what has happened here. Maybe Bjorn has come back. I need to tell him. I need to tell my son," She paused, lifting her head to give Ylva a saddened look, "I need to see my son."
"I understand," Ylva replied, sighing as she nodded in agreement. She paused, just before she began to sit up, "I am coming with you."
"No," Lagertha argued as she lightly grabbed Ylva's shoulder to stop her, "You are wounded and you were with child, with Bjorn's child. I have renounced all power. But if I ever even had the smallest amount left, I would forbid you from traveling with me. I would forbid you from putting my new grandson at risk."
Lagertha sighed, watching as Ylva glanced downwards in shame. "Because I remember my beautiful Erik and Hali and I will never forget them," She confessed and placed a hand over Ylva's growing belly.
Ylva nodded slowly, placing her hand over Lagertha's. "Nor will I," She whispered, trying to contain her sadness, "I remember why you must go. May the gods keep you safe on your journey."
Lagertha was silent for a short moment. She smiled, placing her hand on the side of Ylva's face. "I do not say this often, but I love you, Ylva. You have always been a daughter to me and I couldn't have asked for a better wife for my son. He worships you and I don't blame him. You are truly great," She explained and Ylva smiled, nodding in response.
"I love you, too, Lagertha. You were always like a mother to me. The mother I never had," Ylva confessed and Lagartha smiled as she stood up, "And if you see Bjorn, tell him I love him, too. Tell him I'm sorry about what I said when I last saw him. Tell him I am sorry for everything. That he cannot escape my love. Now or ever. We are bonded, him and I. Tell my sons, too. Tell Rorik and Halig that I love them and I will return to them soon with their sisters and with Asa."
"I'll tell them," Lagertha assured her before glancing over at where Asa and Thyra had fallen asleep on the ground together, "Look after them. And Gyda, too. She may act like she doesn't need you, but she does. She yearns for your approval and respect, the respect you show Rorik and Halig. She's a jealous one, but she just feels neglected. Look after her. Steer her in the right. She could truly become something great, that one. With the right guidance."
Ylva smiled and nodded at Lagertha, watching as the older woman glanced around.
"It seems to me, Ylva, that this world is coming to a conclusion," Lagertha confessed and turned to face Ylva fully, "And I feel like you will be the start of a new one."
Hearing Lagertha's words, Ylva's words. She shook her head slightly. "I don't understand, Lagertha."
"You don't have to. It doesn't matter anyway. Not right now, at least. You'll understand what I mean soon enough. I know you will," Lagertha explained and began to walk toward the door. She stopped suddenly and turned to smile at Ylva, "And don't forget me in the years to come."
"How could I ever forget a woman as great as you, Lagertha?" Ylva responded, which earned a smile from both women.
____
It was nighttime in Kattegat and as he had been for days now, Halig remained with Hvitserk during the night to look after him. He seemed to be the only one able to deal with the man.
Halig stood off to the sight, watching Hvitserk frantically look around his cabin. He was clearly on drugs. "He's coming! He's coming!" He shouted, his eyes bloodshot red.
"Who?" Halig asked and rolled his eyes, "Who is it you speak of this time, Hvitserk?"
He didn't take the man seriously anymore. It was as though every day brought another delusion to life.
"Ivar! Ivar!" Hvitserk blurted out, looking as though he was jumping out of his skin.
"He's not coming, Hvitserk! How many times must I tell you that?" Halig argued, glaring at Hvitserk with a cold look.
"You don't know. You--You don't hear him. He's almost here. He's coming from the sky," He rambled, smiling as he stared up at the cieling.
Halig took a deep breath and balled his hand into a fight. He tried to contain his frustration, growing sick of Hvitserk's obsession with Ivar. "It's not true, Hvitserk! He's not a god! And he never was one! You know he's not one! Freya made that up to be so consumed with power that he never noticed the affair between you and her."
Unable to take it anymore, Hvitserk yelled out. He began to pace the room, groaning and grunting.
Halig watched the older man closely, a part of him beginning to feel uneasy. "You need to sleep. You are going crazy without it, seeing things that aren't there," He explained and Hvitserk whipped himself around to face his brother's son.
"How can I sleep when Ivar is coming to kill me?" He growled, roughly grabbing the sides of Halig's face, "Huh? Do you want him to kill me like he did Freya?"
"No, of course not, but he's not--" Halig began to say, only to have Hvitserk interrupt him.
"Then shut your mouth!" Hvitserk screamed and finally let go of Halig. He moved toward the door, much to Halig's concern, "This is between him and me. His fate and my fate! I must avenge Freya once and for all," He paused, holding a blade in his hand as he looked upwards, "It's here. It's arrived."
"You mustn't go out there," Halig argued in a stern tone as he walked toward the man, "You're sick, Hvitserk. Can't you see that? Sick! If you go out, you will do something you will regret. And I won't sit here and watch my mother lose another part of herself, picking up your messes in the same way she did Freya! She won't be able to defend you forever. Do you understand?"
Before Halig could say anymore, Hvitserk had struck him with the handle of his blade, causing the younger boy to fall to the ground. He winced and clutched his bleeding head, watching Hvitserk crawl out of his cabin.
It was several moments before Halig finally walked out of the cabin. He ran through the storm plaguing Kattegat, searching for Hvitserk before he could do something he regretted. He prayed to the gods he'd make it in time. No matter what Hvitserk had done, he refused to lose the man in the same way he did Freya. No. Not again. He refused to.
By the time he had reached Hvitserk, however, he had found the man sitting on the ground. Blood covered his face as he held Lagertha's dying corpse in his arms. He had killed her.
He had killed Halig's grandmother, Bjorn's mother.
"Tonight I will sit with my beloved Ragnar in the halls of the gods," Lagertha spoke to Hvitserk, who sobbed as he held the woman in his arms, "I-I lived a full life. I am not afraid."
"No, no, no," Hvtserk whimpered, shaking his head as he watched the life drain from Lagertha's eyes.
"What did you do?" A familiar voice snapped Hvitserk out of his thoughts
He turned quickly to find Halig standing there. The boy stood in the rain, soaked and looking heartbroken after he witnessed the death of his grandmother.
Slowly, Hvitserk placed Lagertha's body on the ground and stood up. He cautiously moved toward Halig, a pleading look on his face. "Halig, please, you mustn't--"
"I won't tell anyone," Halig answered in a calm tone and Hvitserk sighed in relief, "But I'm not doing it for you. I want you to be wrecked with guilt. I want the fear of people figuring out what you did to consume you. I want to see the rage my father will feel when he finds out you were the one to kill his mother. I want this to eat away at you until finally, you confess to what you did and beg for them to put you out of your misery. I want to see the look on my mother's face when she realizes you're beyond saving. and gives up on you, not wanting to repeat what occurred with Freya. Now, leave, Hvitserk, before I kill you where you stood for killing my grandmother."
Hvitserk stared at Halig for a long moment, clearly devastated. He wasn't surprised. He knew it wouldn't be long before Halig gave up on him as everyone else did. And Hvitserk was right. What he did on that night would ensure Ylva would give up on him too. He had driven everyone away. He had nothing left now, no one. And it was no one's fault but his own. He was becoming just like Freya. He was surprised he hadn't realized it sooner.
Sighing, Hvitserk nodded. He gave Halig one last parting look, just before walking away.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
goddamn it's been so long since I've updated this I'm sorry 😭