"Hey, Tanaka, you think I could come and watch you at practice today?" your eyes were squeezed shut as you blurted this request out of nowhere.
Where had it even come from? He would probably say no. He should say no and get it over and done with, instead of making you wait like this. You would only be disappointed in the end, anyway.
You had acknowledged the fact that your love was very much unrequited at this point, but you couldn't help but hope just a little bit every time he threw a smile your way, or offered you some of his food, or looked to see if you were laughing at his jokes first. And you did, every single time.
You felt like a pathetic idiot. You certainly didn't have the guts to admit to him that you loved him, so your fate was virtually certain. You and him would forever remain friends, never less, but never more, either. And somehow, that was worse. Worse than things not changing between the two of you. Maybe even worse than you confessing and potentially ruining your steady, platonic relationship. Which you cherished, of course.
Towards the end of your middle school days, you had - much to your dismay - made friends with the unruly boy who sat next to you in all of your classes. He was quick to warm up to you, always urging you to join him in a game of tag or hide and seek after school, and often finding himself in your house uninvited. But never once unwelcomed.
He was loud, annoying and somewhat rough around the edges. But he was also funny, sweet and always a touch more gentle with you than with his other friends. Yes, perhaps it was because you were a girl, but it also made you smile shyly and go a light red tinge for a reason unbeknownst to you.
And now you were here, after years of watching him run off to play volleyball with an excited grin on his face and a shine in his eyes. You wanted to know what it was that made him so happy. But to this day, he had never really asked you to come. Yes, you had been to some of his games with the rest of his and your families, but other times you were too busy or felt unwanted. He filled you in on what happened, though, on all of the games that you missed.
"Uh," you were prepared to be shot down, "Sure, Y/N. You can come!"
Although you were glad to hear this response (and somewhat relieved), Tanaka sounded less enthusiastic than he usually was. Not sad; more serious and quiet. You were confused to find his eyes not quite meeting yours and a pink blush brushing his cheeks. Something was on his mind. Or someone. After his brief answer, he immediately returned his attention to packing up his schoolbag.
You slung your own over your shoulder and waited for him at the door of your classroom. He sure was taking his sweet time. You tapped on the doorframe, watching as students walked by in varying directions, each to their individual clubs.
"Tanaka," you leaned back in and called for him, "Come on. What's taking you so long?"
"Oh, sorry," he brightly smiled at you, picking up his bag and approaching you immediately.
You couldn't help but smile despite yourself. He usually had this effect on you. The two of you walked out into the hallway and started your journey to his volleyball club. There was silence - something abnormal between the two of you. Generally, there was always some form of chatter or laughter, but presently, there was only silence. And you weren't even sure if you could call it the comfortable kind.
You looked over at your friend. His smile alone was enough to make you blush profusely and look away again. Your sharp jerk snagged his attention.
"Hey, what were you looking at?" he questioned. You widened your eyes. You had been caught staring at him. How embarrassing. How were you supposed to play this off?
"Nothing. There's something on your face," you pointed, covering up what you did with a witty smirk on your face. His own eyes expanded and the tips of his ears became a light pink, though for a different reason than your pitiful pining.
"Hey!" he scrubbed vigorously, but to no avail, "Wait. There's nothing. What is it?" He leaned forward, asking of you to inspect his face. You put on a mock serious expression, leaning forward with your hands placed behind your back. You cocked an eyebrow up, before slowly bringing your index finger and thumb to his forehead.
"Hmm," your eyes darted this way and that, "Oh. My mistake. It was just your face." You flicked him sharply, cackling victoriously as he recoiled and placed his palm to the inflicted spot.
"Y/N!" he gasped, "I feel. So betrayed. That was so mean and uncalled for! And you know you love this face. All the ladies do." He bragged. You rolled your eyes with an unimpressed look on your face.
"Yeah, I think I liked it better when you felt betrayed," you tried to suppress a small smile from crawling onto your face. He slung an arm around your shoulder as the two of you resumed your walk.
"Nah, I don't think you mean that," he shook his head, "You love me too much." He had to stop saying this stuff, especially since it was true. You pushed him away.
"Okay, whatever helps you sleep at night," you kept at teasing him.
"Can you do something for me, Y/N?" he suddenly seemed solemn. You turned to him with knitted eyebrows.
"What is it?" you asked. He batted his eyelashes at you.
"Can you please kiss my ouchy better?" he pouted as he spoke in a baby tone. His index finger pointed to the spot on his forehead which you had just flicked. "Pretty please? As pretty as you?"
"Shut up, idiot," you swatted him away. Now it was his turn to triumphantly laugh, basking in the red glow emitted from your cheeks. Once his laughing fit was over, you went back to the noiseless state you had been in before all of this.
Your pupils flitted to the corner of your eyes, stealing a glance at Tanaka. He always looked so effortlessly perfect. To you, at least. Others said he had the appearance of a delinquent, and with those faces he made, it's not like he was trying to change that. But you saw the sparkle in his eyes when something made him particularly excited or happy. You heard the electricity in his laughter. You saw the callouses on his hands, but how they never gave him a rough feel. How his cheeks went rosy when he got embarrassed, and a little pout would adorn his face. You adored all of him. But did he feel the same way about you? The answer was probably no. So you had to stop. It was the only wise decision: to drop any and all feelings you had for your childhood friend and realise that you had to mature and grow past this phase at some point.
"What's on your mind?" you boldly inquired, "You seem, uh, pretty deep in thought."
"Oh," he smiled slyly, "It's nothing really. Doesn't matter anyway."
"No come on, what is it?" you twiddled nervously with your fingers. What if you were prying?
"Fine, fine, but only cause I trust you, and I always tell you everything," his eyes were glued to the floor. You looked away from him and mimicked his action, nodding gravely.
"Okay," you swallowed.
"So, um, there's this girl," he started. Already, your eyes had expanded. "She's super pretty. Uh, I actually think she's beautiful, honestly. She goes to our school, in fact. Which is why I'm so crazy about her. Cause I'm pretty sure we're meant to be together. Like, fate, or something. I know, I know, you're probably thinking: 'Oh, Tanaka, you're being delusional, stop it, she'll never like you back'. I probably think so, too. But I can't help myself. Everyday, I fall for her a little bit more. I don't know if it's something about her eyes, or the way she walks, or her voice. Which is like honey, by the way. And her eyes. Man, her eyes. When she looks at me, I'm convinced that my heart skips a beat. I've timed it, okay?! Yeah, cause I can hear my heart whenever she's close. It beats that hard for her. Ha! I sound crazier than I thought I would. But, damn it, if I'm not being honest. So, yeah, what makes everything that tiny bit harder for me is that she's so close. But so far, too. Like, I could literally pick her up in my arms, spin her around, and kiss her like there's no tomorrow at any second. But at the same time, I can't, you know? Shit, now I'm thinking about her lips. Ugh, please don't think I'm a perv." He started laughing, covering his eyes with one hand. You shook your head.
"I don't think that about you," you began, "I get what you mean. I understand. You know, loving someone and feeling that they don't love you back. But, also, there's hope. There's always hope. Because that's the good thing about love. It can change things, even when you least expect it. Um, I guess I'm going through the same thing as you, sorta." You blushed; you just knew that your cheeks had reached their peak degree of redness. Your eyelids drooped halfway, and you refused to meet Tanaka's eyes.
"Hey, really?!" he suddenly took you by the shoulders. Your droopy eyelids were replaced by a shocked expression. You found comfort in the fact that his own face was as pigmented as yours. He looked happy. His joy was infectious.
"Uh, yeah, I guess," you looked to the side.
"So, uh, let's help each other! Right?!" he suggested.
Why was he so intent on helping you out? It's almost as though he knew who you liked. Wait. Was that girl he just poured out his heart about you? No, she couldn't be. There was no way. But then, if he did feel that way about you, surely he would jump at the opportunity to help you with your own crush, in the hopes that it was him? It was all coming together. Maybe he did like you like that, and wanted to use this as a way of confessing to you somehow. But, at the same time, it all seemed too perfect. To good to be true.
"How?" you unlatched his hands from your shoulders. He rolled his head back, and the two of you once again continued your path to the volleyball gym.
"Uh, what if we pretended to ask the person we love out, but to each other instead. Like a practice kinda thing," he gave an idea. Although cliche, that didn't necessarily make his idea a bad one. You decided you would give it a shot, no matter how awkward it may get.
"Pfft, okay," you scoffed, "Who should go first?"
"Me, me," he offered to go first without any hesitation, "But, uh, promise this won't get awkward."
"Sure," you wrapped your pinky around his. You were lying through the skin of your teeth. How could you stop yourself from getting awkward, knowing full well that you might be the girl Tanaka wants? How were you meant to prevent yourself from taking this roleplay even the slightest bit seriously, when he was almost always on your mind? You couldn't. There was no way of blocking out your feelings now.
"Okay," he took a deep breath, "Um, hey."
"Hey," the two of you broke out in subdued giggles.
"Um, I wanted to ask you about something really important," he looked at you momentarily, and you caught a glimpse of his flushed face. The two of you kept walking forwards, as a means of distracting yourselves.
"Go on. I'm listening," these words served as assurance from you. He appeared a touch more confident now.
"Well, before I get to that, I just want you to know that it's perfectly fine if you say no. I mean, I totally understand. But, I need to know for myself. Anyway, uh, you've been on my mind a lot lately for several reasons. Like, um, I see you basically everyday, and I know it doesn't seem like much, but our interactions mean the world to me. You're also really beautiful. Honestly. Uh, like, your eyes. They're really something. I'm sorry. I'm rambling. Shit. Sorry."
"Hey," you held his upper arm, pulling him to a stop. He turned around, eyes meeting yours. The sun shone its light in through the windows of the corridor, casting a golden glow onto both of your figures. "Just breathe. And look at me."
"Oh," he whispered, "Your eyes."
"What?" you tilted your head to the side. He cleared his throat.
"I mean. I remembered this thing saying that your pupils dilate when you look at or think of something that you love. Or someone. Your pupils. They've gotten bigger."
"Huh?!" you quickly averted your gaze, turning away from your friend, "Stop going off on a tangent, idiot! Keep going with the roleplay thing!" You scolded him.
"Right, right. Sorry. But, uh, look at me." He turned your face by the chin to look at him. He gazed into your eyes.
"Go."
"Anyway, back to what I was saying. Um, I've wanted you more than anything for a long time now. So, please, look me in the eyes and tell me you feel the same way?"
"Yes," you muttered, "I do. I want you."
"Really?" the roleplay should've been over by now, but he kept at it. You nodded. What were you doing?
"Yeah. I mean it," you had to stop yourself, "I feel the same way, Ryū. For a long time now. It's why my pupils dilate, you know? Cause I'm looking at the someone I love."
"Wow," you couldn't tell if he was still pretending at this point, "Has anyone ever told you that your eyes are beautiful, Y/N?" A small gasp fell out of your mouth. He used your name. You merely watched on as one of his hands reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
"I - I think once or twice, but they don't count, cause they were from my parents, and they're biased, so," you tried to continue, but were cut off by the musical sound of his laughter.
"They are. Your eyes are beautiful," you observed his pupils enlarging, "So, so beautiful. Just like you."
He leaned into you, and then the two of you were melting into each other, and floating in space, suspended among galaxies of grey-black and pastel purples and pinks and shocking yellow with stripes of orange. All colours that resided in Tanaka's eyes when you looked into them and let yourself fall completely in love. You understood now. His eyes were your whole world. And that little glint that you saw occasionally? They were the stars, mapped out on the canvas of your universe. He was your universe. His hand cupped your cheek, thumb stroking your skin. Both of your eyes were shut tight, but it felt like you were looking at each other more intensely than you ever had before. His free hand floated down to your waist, grasping it. You let one of your hands go to the nape of his neck, swirling circles. The other rested on his chest, so you could feel his heartbeat. It was racing. His lips separated and met yours again and again, over and over. You never got used to the thrill of how surprisingly delicate his lips were. With every peck, more butterflies swirled around your stomach. You finally stopped, staring at each other. He was panting quietly. As were you.
"Ryū," you called his name. He rested his forehead against yours.
"You're the girl. Y/N L/N, I am in love with you. Please be mine."
"Okay. Yes. I'll be yours. Ryūnosuke Tanaka, I will be yours."
Without hesitation, he pressed himself against you once more. You felt him smile against your mouth every time your lips met. Feeling this, you couldn't help but do the same. Although standing practically as solid as two statues designed to be intertwined with each other for eternity, it felt like you were dancing across the hallways of your school building. Slow dancing, ballet dancing, bodies merging and spinning in sync. Heartbeats beating in chorus, begging for the two of you to stay like this forever. Kisses left in a trail across your face - first your forehead, then both of your cheeks, then planted across your jawline, and a few sprinkled across the expanse of your neck and shoulders - threw you into a state of ecstasy. Both of his arms fell to your waist, guarding you, and keeping you as his for as long as he wanted. He returned to your lips, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Euphoria. That was the only word to describe this. Some kind of heavenly euphoria.
"Mine," he spoke in a hushed tone. His face was a deep scarlet all over; you suspected yours was the same. You pursed your lips.
"Mine," you copied him. He flashed you a proud grin. The two of you broke out in laughter.
"Sorry if that was a bit much," he gingerly held both of your hands in his, "I just - you're mine."
"Don't be. It was - amazing."
"You're amazing."