Thoughts on Aman?
●
Riva King.
That's who she is. Or who she was.
I don't know anymore.
Riva and I knew each other since forever. I never actually met her, she was always there somehow. She came into my life way before Axel and Brooke.
Our parents were friends, and so were we. But slowly Riva became a part of the family, someone I loved so much that I couldn't hate.
Hate. Why would I hate Riva?
Because I was tired. So fucking tired of being her side-piece. Someone whom my parents made me feel inferior to. Someone to be compared to and still be less no matter how hard I tried.
But it was never Riva's fault, was it?
One night, I wanted her to dissappear. The next day, she did.
And I'm here, searching for her eve the the easy way is to let her be wherever she is.
That's the thing about love. It fucks you up enough to not let you know when to stop.
•••
I wake up with a headache.
Groaning, I try to reach over to my phone and check the time.
2:30 am.
"Good lord," I groan to myself. "Why the fyck I'm feeling this shitty? Did I drink last night?" I rummage through my mind to remember if I had any alcohol but come up with nothing.
But what if I drank last night? The last time time it happened, it was embarrassing.
I look around the room to find no one. Getting off the bed, I walk into the bathroom, splash water on my face and come back. When I pick up the water bottle, it's empty. Sighing, I walk toward the kitchen.
Halfway through the hallway, I hear voices coming from the kitchen. I stop in my tracks.
Who the-
The voices becomecs little louder and I realize it to be of Gray and Shiv. I walk a little closer and hear my name being taken by Shiv.
"I think Rou likes you," he says, and then scoffs. "Fuck that. She likes you and I know it."
"So?"
"You know it, too. And you still decide to be a dick about it."
"I'm not being a dick about," Gray sighs. "After we find Riva, Rou and I go different paths."
"You can keep her-"
"I don't want to."
My heart drops to my stomach. I gulp so as to moisten my throat and let out a shaky breathe. When I hear footsteps, I straighten myself and walk into the kitchen.
Gray is the first to see me and then Shiv follows. He looks at my face, trying to read. I give him a tired smile.
"Water wasn't there," I lift the bottle to show him. He nods and smiles back, walking towards me. He takes the bottle from me, "Let me."
I smile and lean against the wall trying my hardest to not look at Gray. I feel her eyes on me and I gulp.
People staring at me is not something I'm very comfortable with, and the time time you stare back at them, they look away. Coward.
But when Gray stares at me, I know she reads through me. She wants me to look at her and acknowledge her fucking presence. I don't want to give her that satisfaction today.
"Here," Shiv says as he hands me the bottle. "You going back to bed? Wanna binge a movie or something?"
I shake my head no. "A little tired, querido. Maybe tomorrow?"
"Sure." He smiles and I smile back.
I walk back to my room, lock the door and fall on the bed with my face pressed on the pillow. And I scream.
I scream because for Gray, I'm yet another way of getting what she wants. I scream because it's so fucking hard to go to someone else knowing that Gray exists.
Why the fuck she even exists?
My phone vibrates next to me. With a sigh, I raise my head and look at the screen to see a text from Sav.
Sav
U up?
Yea
Can I pick u up? In like 10 mins?
Uh why?
She doesn't reply soon, so I keep my phone away. But as soon as I go back to pressing my face into the pillow and scream, the phone vibrates again.
Wanna show ya smthng
At 3 in night??
You planning my murder or smthng?
No
Just
Please?
Tell someone that you're comin w me
If you die, they'll know I killed u
I chuckle to myself and get up front he bed. Looking at myself in the mirror, I tie my hair in a ponytail, throw on a hoodie.
Before I leave the room, I text Shiv that I'll be with a friend.
•••
"Weren't you in Yuki's?"
"Nah," Sav says as she starts the engine of the car. "A friend of Trish lives around this area. We were with her."
"I feel so dumb for coming here," I shake my head. "What if you actually kill me? And cut me to pieces and feed it to your plants as fertilizer?"
Sav laughs and shakes her head, which make sme smile for some reason. She looks at me through the mirror but doesn't say anything.
After minutes of driving, we reach the place she has on her mind. "Come out."
When I open the door and get out of the car, I see Savanna leaning against the hood. She looks at me, waits for a second and reaches out her hand to me. Bitting my lips, I take her hand.
We walk into the woody looking area with miles and miles of eucalyptus trees planted on the side of the the muddy road. I feel Sav's palm tighten around me.
"It looks like a place where people kill other people."
"I know," she nods, "but trust me."
"I'm pretty sure Ted Bundy used to tell that to people, too."
"I'm pretty sure you're overthinking."
We come to an open area with a dead end just some steps in front of us. But then my eyes land on the thin mattress on the ground and I look at Sav.
She drags me to the mattress, takes off her shoes and tells me to take off mine and walks onto the mattress. When she let's go of my hand and goes on the sleep on the mattress, I follow her lead.
When I look up, I see millions of stars and a moon between the clouds and the dark sky. The eucalyptus tree speaks their branches over us and the moon shines in all its glory
"Fuck," I breathe out. "It's beautiful."
"I know," she says.
"How did you find this place?
"When Aman and I were kids, dad used to bring us here. We lived in NYC st that time," Savanna smiles to herself. "There's a video of us when we first came here. A star shot itself across the sky and Aman wanted to dad to get him one."
"Then?"
"Dad tried to tell him that stars have a really high temperature and so they couldn't touch it. But Aman kept crying. Silly duck."
I turn my body towards Sav as she continues.
"So dad told us a story. Once, the one who made all of us looked at the stars and wanted to create something more beautiful. Knowing this, the stars decided to die to make us.
"I didn't believe it. Stars are so... ethereal and it felt terrible to think that they died to make something as mundane as humans."
"Do you believe it now?"
"I do."
When I look at her, she's looking at me.
Sav turns her body towards me and smiles softly, her brown eyes shining in the moon light. She leans in and pecks my forehead.
"Really?" I laugh. "Forehead kisses?"
"I'm so sorry. I should have asked-"
"I didn't mean that," I smile. "I mean this." I place my hand on the back of her head a d pull her closer, connecting our lips.
At first, she doesn't kiss me back. But then she shifts her body over mine, her hands around my waist and her tounge sliding into my mouth.
"I've never kissed anyone in the woods," she says as we break away.
"Ever had sex?"
Savanna looks at me as is I'm a duck talking like a human. "What?"
"Ever had sex in the woods?" She shakes her head no. "Today's your lucky day, then. Or night. Whatever."
"What?" She asks again.
I slid my hands inside her shirt.
I know I'm gonna regret this but, "Fuck me."
●●●●●
A/N
Many of you must be thinking that I'm rushing this yes. Yawl are very very fucking right.
Senior year is more hectic than I thought it would be and I wanna finish this book asap (before I go on a hiatus)
I also wanna start working on other books (like 'Game' – the RouxGray story)
Also, Game will have a different storyline than this. Age difference will be different. Characters might be different. And also, I'm trying to do something that I thought I'll never do in my books.
*clears throat* there will be smut in those books.
So yeah. Thanks for reading this till here. It's too fuckin long.
Stay safe. I love you.