The good thing about Louis' fortnight long stay in Harry's apartment was that he got to watch the boy heal up and return to his normal, constantly moving self. Harry was always quick to start explaining how Nurse Tommo gave him the kiss of life multiple times to help with his recuperation, just to see Louis get a bit flustered. The bad thing was that after a lovely stay, Louis could tell Harry's back was perfectly fine. In other words, he had to leave and both he and Harry were really shitty at hiding how attached they had grown during his time there.
Harry was currently putting up Louis' hair using some ribbon, the atmosphere ruined when Liam called and asked him what time to expect him. Louis looked over the half-completed masterpiece through his phone screen and chuckled, facepalming when he saw Harry's upset expression towering over him.
"Harr...? What is it, this time?"
"Don't go. You can't go."
"What's the reason, now? Another weather forecast of a hailstorm? Or is a zombie apocalypse on the horizon?"
"Don't talk sarcasm with me, you don't want to go as much as I want you to stay!" Louis shrugged and Harry nodded to himself. That proved his point. "See?!"
"Harry, we've talked about this. We've literally argued about this multiple times this week and I hate arguing wtth you. You know I can't stay here."
"Why not? We both like staying together. We can be roommates!"
"I'm not gonna move in with you, Harry."
"You moved in with Liam, what's different?"
"What's different is we make out so moving in would be less rooming buddies and more of a couple thing. We're close enough as it is, we can't step into that territory." What If I want to be more than just rooming buddies, dammit, Tomlinson?!
"Fine. Fine. Your birthday's coming up. Stay with me till then. And then Christmas, the day after that! We'll decorate the apartment, watch Christmas-y movies, make out some more, it's like perfect! It's really, really soon, Lou, would two more weeks here kill you?"
"I spend two more weeks here exposed to all this Harry and I might just have to buy you an engagement ring as a Christmas present." Was that supposed to be a threat? Because Harry was kind of imagining what a Styles-Tomlinson wedding would look like, but in his head, so Louis definitely didnt need to know that. "Styles? That's the part where you say eww, you'd be a shit husband because we are both friends, here."
"Nah. What flavour wedding cake do you want? Bet I could pump one out right now if I give it a try- Nialler could get a priest wedding licence thing and officiate, but only because you'd want Liam as your best man of course and I want Zaynie as mine and he would want to be involved somehow as well-" And then Harry remembered that he wasn't meant to be talking about the explosion going off in his head over this impromptu wedding idea so he shut up. Louis looked him over, rubbing his temples and Harry leaned against him, kissing the side of his face. "C'mon, we can totally hash out an entire wedding plan between today and tomorrow, let's make an all-nighter out of it!"
Louis gripped his collar and joined their lips for a second, pulling away when Harry let ot a content hum. He got up and rubbed his entire face, pacing about. "Stop it."
"...Stop what?"
"Being all... Harry! I'm trying to force myself to fuckin leave, here!"
"You'll have to pack, first."
"I did...?"
"Ah, ah, ah, guess who- as you know- tends to wake up at random or just stay up through the night because anxiety and saw your bags in the closet?" Louis narrowed his eyes at the boy who smiled much too innocently. They both glanced at the bedroom, making eye contact and then at nearly the same time, they lunged towards it. Harry got there first and tried to shut the door behind him but Louis put a foot in before he could, stabbing Harry's side with his middle finger so the boy jumped with an involuntary giggle, allowing him to force his way in more easily.
They both panted, staring at each other and then Louis opened the closet. His things were still packed. His mood dampened instantly. "I... I might have cried when I saw them...? I wanted to unpack them. I thought about it and re-thought about it and considered all the scenarios but then you called out to me while you were sleeping and I just... Didn't want to not be in your arms, anymore- and by that, I mean that I was super tired because the other thing I just said is creepy-"
"I'm the bloke that said your name while asleep or half asleep so no, it's definitely not all that creepy." He turned to face Harry, looking him over. Harry tensed at the stare, wondering what was going through Louis' head. Louis took some steps closer and Harry moved back, feeling his face heat up when he bumped into the bed.
"L-"
"Sit." Harry did so swiftly and Louis knelt down between his knees. Harry was still confused. It was funny how a former sex addict was completely oblivious to something he had hoped for for some time. "Harry? I'm going to... Try something. But you tell me if you get too uncomfortable, yeah? Now... Help me out, here."
The lad's mouth ran dry. Louis watched Harry's every expression as he helped him pull his pants down with some struggle. Harry was trembling slightly, his face burning and Louis? This was power he didn't know he had. Damn, this was probably a bad idea. Too late, he thought to himself as Harry's cock swung up right in front of his face.
"M'sorry," he managed to force out.
"Why? It's... I don't know. A penis?" Louis stared at it curiously. He tried to imagine himself impaled on it and grimaced, letting his fingers drift over the length.
"What are you... Why are you... Have you ever done this before? Do you... What are you going to do to me?"
"I've already told you. Remember when I said you were at hand job level? You've gone past that, of course but well... Gotta start somewhere. You're okay with me doing this, yeah-"
"Please." Harry didn't take much time to get to his climax. It was the most erotic thing having Louis study his cock as he worked on it, then look up at him with a curious expression to see if he was doing the right thing. And when he came apart, to his added pleasure and surprise, Louis wrapped his lips around the tip and went down halfway, choking on it all eventually but he did rush to the bathroom to spit what he got out. Harry ran a hand through his hair, pushing the tresses stuck to his forehead back and gaped at Louis when he came back quietly to clean up the mess.
"What the fuck was that?"
"...parting gift? Sorry for putting my mouth, I didn't ask if I could do that and I should've, I just didn't want everywhere getting messy." Harry didn't know whether to laugh or cry so he kissed Louis instead, both of them laughing when his hips involuntarily forced themselves forward. "Jesus, you're already half hard again. Deal with that yourself, man, all that rubbing tired me the fuck out. Can't imagine what it would've been like if I gave you a blow instead. You probably would've gotten too excited and broken my fucking jaw, now that I really think about it-"
"Louis, please stop talking about sex, I'm still totally wrecked, here."
"Oh. Did that turn you on? Right, sorry, don't really understand arousal much." Louis' eyes darted back to Harry's cock and he flushed when it grew further from the curious stare, stuffing himself into his pants.
"I cannot believe you did that."
"Why?"
"You're... I don't know, I didn't expect you to anytime soon!"
"Well I wasn't planning to. Like I said. Parting gift. Your cum tastes fucking weird, by the way. I've tasted mine before, just out of curiosity and both taste weird." Harry knew he should stop this conversation but as long as Louis couldn't see how hard he was making him, he still had so many questions he wanted an answer to.
"You've cum, before?"
"Well, yes. I don't get aroused by anything I see or hear persay, unlike some other asexuals but I did discover that touching myself eventually got me there. It was more an experiment than anything. Honestly, I wish I had just let it go down instead of following through because beating yourself off when you have nothing arousing you except the feel of your hands? It takes a while. I was bored, it nearly went down multiple times and I kept having to make myself focus because I was trying to be a normal teenager who could masturbate even though trying to think about anything sexual while doing it made mine just deflate so fucking fast-"
"May I just randomly admit that - while partly based on the high I'm coming down from - I am so obsessed with you."
"Wow, thanks?"
"How can you be that fucking good? You know what? You don't have to be here with me, I'll plan our wedding all by myself because I need to claim ownership over this whole person or I'll fucking cry. I'm thinking we both get hammered with the boys in Vegas and wake up naked and happily married the next day. And there's balloon dicks all over the room because how else does one celebrate two people now on their gay honeymoon. And then you'll tell me all about how we have to break this up but then I run to the bathroom and throw up-"
"Harry, don't you fucking dare-"
"Yes, you awful bitch, I'm pregnant and you're the fucking father! Should've thought about things before you released your swimmers up my asshole. Dumb move Tommo, dumb move." Louis stared at him, nostrils flared as he breathed in and out. Harry got frightened by Louis' stare eventually, wondering if he had gone overboard. "You know I'm weird, boo, don't act so surprised-"
"Harry Edward Tomlinson, may I have this dance?"
"Y... Yeah, I guess so?"
"Jesus, can't you sound a little more enthusiastic?"
"Yes, love of my life, I would love to dance with you!" Louis sighed and dragged Harry off the bed after that ear-splitting squeal of words, pulling him close. Harry had to take some time to level his breathing after earlier events, as well as time to purify his mind of all the thoughts their closeness was bringing up but soon enough, his arms were round Louis' neck and they were slowly swaying to no music.
Louis decided to spin Harry and the boy let out a giggle at the impromptu act. Just like when they had been in the rain, Harry beamed at him and Louis' heart responsed on its own accord. He sighed and leaned his forehead against Harry's, letting words slip out without being able to help himself because he wanted Harry to understand at least a slight bit of what he could understand of his feelings towards him.
"You know, I've never even thought for one second that I would ever have anyone interested in marriage or ever let myself have interest in anyone. But you, Harr? I mean... It's not so bad a thought. It's a weird thought but it's not a necessarily bad one."
"Wow, aren't you just romantic? Reading between the lines, that whole awkward thing you just shared translated to the definite fact that you totally love me, Louis Tomlinson." Harry waited for Louis to refuse or joke back but Louis didn't speak and Harry's entire face darkened as he dug his head into Louis' neck, taking in the scent.
"Bloody hell, did you just sniff me? Styles, you are truly an enigma." Louis could imagine the smile against his neck now and it filled him to the brim with warmth.
"Lou... Don't... Don't leave me. I can't- please don't leave me."
"That's not fair... Don't say it like that. I'm not leaving you. We'll still see each other, soon, just..." I need to remember reality. And the reality is, you and I aren't some cute couple who cook together and kiss during every movie. And if there's even the slight chance that you want that, I have to keep you from having a thought so fucking stupid as wanting me.
"Stop it."
"What?"
"Your mind. It's saying things to you. I don't know what they are but stop... You can talk to me about them, too, if you want."
"How did you...?"
"There's this pretty light in your eyes that drains out when you get in your head. And I like the light. It makes me happy that I make you happy. Don't you want to be happy, Lou? Don't... you want to be with me?" That sounded like it meant something more than just physically being there and Louis nearly stumbled back when Harry looked him in the eyes. He looked so hopeful and desperate. Why? Why him, of all people? It didn't make any sense and it never would. He wouldn't let Harry stick with those kinds of thoughts. He wasn't the right guy. Louis Tomlinson was wrong, wrong, wrong in every single way.
"I... should go." He detached himself from Harry, both bodies already missing the other's but Louis was on a roll, now. He had to get out and not turn back before he said something insane that he couldn't take back because it would be the truth and he feared what he felt for this fabulous, fabulous manchild.
"What? W-wait!"
"It's getting dark. Can't wait. Liam's probably been waiting all day."
"But... What about the wedding planning? It'll be fun...?"
"Harr, we can't have a wedding, we could never-" the boy flinched and Louis did the same. "I mean... I... This is just how things have to be."
"What if I want more than this, then?"
"Good night, Styles. Take care of yourself." Louis looked him over and rushed out of the door, his heart thumping. Every nerve in him said drop the suitcases, turn back and just ask that boy what kind of flowers he'd want in the fucking bouquet arrangement but he kept his mind focused and kept walking until he got back to their place.
At this point, his legs felt like giving out underneath him. But his mind was causing him more pain and he couldn't escape from that so he welcomed the physical pain, a worthy distraction. He was about to make it up the steps when he heard a female voice call out to him.
"Hey. I'm sure you remember me... You haven't been around here in a while. I'm guessing you were with Harry Styles and well... I've got some information on him. I'll need you to help me."
Harry was pacing around his room. It was past midnight and there was still no word from Louis. He had called Liam when Louis ignored his call, scared that he was giving him the cold shoulder again but Liam was surprised and told him he thought they were still together. Apparently, Louis never stepped foot on the door in the first place. And so, now, he had Zayn looking for him while he was on strict orders to try and calm himself so he didn't have a panic attack, a very difficult feat.
He heard the rain pouring outside and sighed. Zayn had probably stopped his search for a while and the knock on the door confirmed that. Where on earth could Louis have disappeared off to? It had to be his fault. He had come on too strong. Perhaps Louis only touched him because he wanted to please Harry, not out of genuine desire and was now feeling uncomfortable about it. What If he felt used, just like Harry's exes had made him feel? As these thoughts swirled in his head, he opened the door, expecting to find his best friend standing there.
"Did you find hi- Louis?"
"I've been outside your building the past hours. Smoking. Trying to think everything through. But then I realised that the conversation that's about to ensue right now won't be quite as smooth if I end up coughing up a storm halfway through it-"
"You were out there in the rain?! How long?! Oh my gosh, come on, take your clothes off, I'll turn up the heating-"
"Haz?"
"We need to get some warm food in you, right now. I'll get you a blanket. You should fit in my clothes, we'll warm you up-"
"Harry, I know who you are. I know everything." Harry froze in place, staring at Louis when he grimaced and pat a seat on the couch. "Let's take a seat and talk about it, yeah?"
Yeah I'm just publishing for fun at this point lol. We're almost at the halfway mark of this book, cool huh? "We're", I say as if I ain't alone here lol. Eh~