Saint was hyperventilating. His blood was boiling. He recapped the situation a million times in his head. Perth rejected him. Perth didn't want him. The more he thought about it, the more he felt sick. He laid down in his bed, and looked at the ceiling, replaying it in his mind over and over, and still couldn't believe he was rejected.
No one had ever done that to him. He had always been in control of these kinds of situations with all of his lays. As he thought about it more and more he couldn't help but end up at the conclusion that he wouldn't have felt the same if any other of his previous lovers would've rejected him.
He just couldn't bare the thought of Perth not wanting him.
Saint scowled at the thought and squeezed his eyes shut, recalling when Perth was under him at this very bed. The warmth of his skin, the way Perth's eyes fluttered every time Saint touched him. The way he had shivered every time Saint nibbled on his skin. His smell.
All those times before Saint had wanted Perth, his husband had taken everything Saint would give him. If he hadn't been so damaged inside of his head he would have taken Perth a long time ago. But he couldn't. Not now. Not ever.
Was this the way Perth had felt since the first time Saint had shoved him away telling him he didn't want him? Was this the way Perth' heart broke time after time? Was this the way Perth felt that night Saint told him to get out of his room?
The very thought of it made his skin prickle and hate himself even more than he did. Saint had been abusive towards him, so many times his head hurt even more when he thought about counting them. He swallowed harshly when he recalled that one time Perth had thought Saint would hurt him physically. Even if Saint had been, still is, a monster he would have never done that.
Perth didn't deserve it. Perth didn't deserve Saint for a husband, but they were married and Saint was selfish enough to never let him go. Ever. He needed Perth. The reason why he felt like that was foreign to him. Or maybe he didn't want to accept it. Maybe if he pretended those feelings weren't there they would actually go away eventually.
But why had his heart stopped beating when he saw Perth and that douche hugging? The only thing he had wanted to do when he had witnessed the scene in front of him was to rip Perth apart from his arms and kiss him to show Blue who's Perth was.
He felt a flame burning inside of him recalling each word of Blue, his amused face when he told Saint about knowing his situation, and going out with Perth. As if Blue was challenging him. But it wasn't a challenge. Perth was already his. He didn't want Perth so he could show Blue he was better than him. He wanted Perth because the younger lad deserved the best. Saint wasn't the best, but if Perth would give him the chance he would show him how good Saint could be to the boy.
Another chance though would never come again as it seemed from today's happenings. Perth didn't want him! Not anymore! The pang in his heart grew even more, because he knew this wasn't Blue's fault. It was his owns. He himself had dragged Perth and him into this circus.
The frustration and humiliation he had felt when Perth hadn't kissed him back, was even worse than Saint's previous bad events. That feeling had been worse than everything, even than his past.
Abruptly Saint got up, a groan of frustration spilling out of his lips. He placed his hand on top of his chest where his heart was placed. He felt his heartbeat raise. His heart felt as if someone was stabbing it and then chopping it with bare hands, throwing the remaining pieces everywhere, where Saint couldn't gather them and stitch them all together again.
Mean had been right. Not that Saint would admit it to him personally, but deep down he knew Mean had been right. He recalled the day Mean had told him so, but Saint hadn't listened to him, too deep in his own black holes of his mind to do so.
Oh how much he wished he had listened to his best friend then. Maybe he would've been able to save his marriage, to save everything that hadn't been crossed back then.
Maybe Perth would've been able to save him.
He paced in front of his bed, a couple of times tempted to open the door and go to his husband's room and just sleep beside him. To hear his slow breathing and feel on his skin the warmth that radiated from Perth's skin. To touch his arms, feeling them soft under his fingers and breathe in his smell. That smell he couldn't get out of his mind since the first time it filled his senses.
Perth would banish him from his room though, and with a right reason to do so. He had been nothing but cruel to him. Perth believed Saint had tricked him in to getting married, luring him in a marriage just for money and power.
He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes again. Little did Perth know that Saint hadn't been fake at all those three months before they got married.
●
Perth fidgeted with the zipper of his coat as he rang on Blue's door that evening. The last time he had seen the pub owner had been a couple of days ago in his office.
The other night, the brown-eyed boy had invited him to his house for dinner. He had reluctantly accepted. Perth hadn't liked the way Blue had slapped on Saint's face what they had done and discussed.
The night Perth had rejected Saint had made him feel a bit better about himself. He hadn't fell for Saint's trap again. Mustering the little courage he had, he had went to his room, and had taken a deep breath.
Perth didn't want to give in to Saint, just cause Saint felt like it. Perth didn't want to be one of his husbands lay's just because no one else had been around for Saint to satisfy his urges. The little dignity that had remained in him from the night Saint told him to get out of his room, didn't let him to give in again.
The door opened a couple of seconds later revealing a smiling Blue, with sweatpants and a hoodie on him. Perth felt good he hadn't worn too classy clothes for this night.
"Hello," Perth said after Blue greeted him. He enter Blue's apartment and look in his surroundings. The pub owner was well aware of how rich he was, and that showed in the way his apartment was furnished.
They entered a big hall where giant paintings were hung on the wall, probably from famous painters that made Perth feel a little ignorant from not knowing any of them.
As they entered the living room, Perth was amazed by the beautiful view that came from Blue's ginormous window. After all, this was a penthouse in the heart of Bangkok.
"Your house is amazing," Perth breathed.
Blue came behind him and placed his hand in the middle of Perth's shoulders. "Thank you. One of the greatest architects designed all of this. I just paid him and said do what you have to do." The pub owner shrugged.
"Can't say it's a bad decision though." Perth wriggled his brows. "So, what are we going to have for dinner Mr. Pongtiwat?"
"I ordered dinner from one of the finest restaurants. There are some middle eastern dishes I wanted you to try. Their speciality is the way they cook meat. You're not vegan, are ya?" Blue narrowed his eyes at Perth.
"No don't worry, I'm not." Perth dismissed him.
"Great!" Blue gave him the thumbs up. "Let's eat then. I'm so hungry."
Perth followed his friend to the table and was amazed at the cutlery Blue had decided. "Did you arranged the table yourself?"
"No no. My maid did. I instructed her though." The brown-eyed boy said as he sat in front of Perth.
The smaller lad looked at all the food in front of him. The smell was good, the dishes seemed that way too.
His senses didn't do him wrong when he tried them. All in all, it was excellent.
"I feel like all we do is eat or go out to dinner," Perth said after he sipped on his wine, trying to wash down his bite.
"We can do other things if you want." Blue winked at him, and if Perth would've been eating at that moment he would've chocked on his food.
Perth blushed at the words and looked down at his plate before looking at Blue again, "I was talking about going out, doing fun activities silly."
Blue smirked. "What I was talking about is a fun activity too, Perth."
"Thank you very much, I didn't know that." Perth sarcastically replied.
"If you don't know then we can fix that problem easily. I can teach you. I am a very patient teacher."
Perth shook his head smiling. "Thank you for your kindness but it's a little too early your majesty."
"Come on Perth. What's stopping you? We're adults. You know I like you very much. I hope you like me too. It's not that big of a deal." Blue countered.
"Sorry, Blue. I told you I needed time. Please don't expect me to jump into a relationship that easily." Perth placed his fork beside the plate.
The brown-eyed boy furrowed his brows. "Who said anything about being in a relationship? We don't have to be anything for us to have sex."
Perth felt as if a bucket of ice was poured in his body from head to toe. "Look Blue, we obviously don't know each other that well, so I'm letting it pass, what you just said. I know people don't have to be anything for sex to happen. It's just not who I am. In absolute I don't judge people who do that, but personally I am not comfortable to have sexual intercourse with someone I don't at least feel infatuated with. Please don't take this the wrong way."
Blue sighed and rolled his eyes. "If you feel that way, I can't do nothing but respect it."
Perth breathed evenly. "Thank you."
The situation after that conversation felt heavy. They didn't talk for a couple of minutes and just ate in silence. "So," Perth tried to cut the tension, "Tell me about your previous relationships."
Blue shrugged. "There's really not much to talk about. I've only been in one serious relationship with a guy. The other ones have been just one night stands or friends with benefits."
"Tell me about your ex."
"Well we were together for about two years. He was a photographer. He's the one who got me into art, those painting you saw on my hall are from his favorite painter, so it just stuck with me, you know? It was the only time I've ever been in love. At least I think it was love. After two years in the relationship the things got chaotic between us. We stayed together just because we felt the need to, as if something was making us."
"He felt the same as you?"
"I know he did. He was a little more invested than I was. I loved him in my own way. So one night we were watching TV at his house, and out of nowhere I asked him what were we doing. He sighed and replied to me that he felt the same, like he was stuck. We still felt for one and other but we just got too comfortable in a relationship to accept that it was going nowhere."
Perth nodded and felt the need to say something. He wished he had a previous experience to ask or add something to what Blue said. What only came to his mind was Saint. Nothing good had ever came from Saint.
Perth shook his head as if to get rid of his thoughts. "How did you feel then?"
"I felt horrendous to do that, but it needed to be done. Arthur, his name is Arthur by the way, seemed to never have the courage to do it, so I took it upon myself, and saved ourselves in time."
"I'm glad at least you had a healthy and mutual break up." Perth smiled and gave Blue's hand a pat.
"I am glad too. The first few months though was a little hard to get used to the single life again. I missed him, but I missed my sanity most. Work and going out with friends was what helped me get over it."
"How long ago was this?" Perth couldn't help but ask.
"A little over 6 months."
"Weird. That's how long I've been married for." Perth joked.
Blue laughed, "I must've sensed I needed to help you get out of this."
Perth pursed his lips and waved his finger at him. "I'm no damsel in distress Blue. I'm my own prince charming."
"Well, maybe I can be your Cinderella instead."
Perth smiled and wiped his mouth with the napkin. "We need to find you some glass slippers."
"Please, I have my very own personalized Louboutin sneakers. Disney's Cinderella has got nothing on me."
Perth laughed. He felt good he had managed to skip the tension that had been there not so long ago.
He helped Blue get up the plates and place them in the kitchen, then they got their glasses of wine and sat in the living room. Perth sat and Blue sat near him, a little too close, but the lad didn't dare to say a thing.
"So, how're the preparations for the next meeting going?"
Perth shrugged. "Pretty well this far. I've finished it but revising it never fails you."
Perth felt Blue getting closer. He was slightly uncomfortable but didn't mention it.
"Perth..." Blue murmured.
The boy slowly turned his head to his right where Blue was. The pub owner moved slowly towards him, placing one hand on his cheek. Perth didn't move. He saw Blue closing his eyes and Perth found himself squeezing his eyes shut too.
Not more than two seconds passed till he felt Blue's lips on his. Perth's hands were on his lap, fingers clenching on the glass of the wine he had. Blue kissed him slowly, taking his time and moving his lips firmly against him.
The only thing that was on Perth's mind in that moment was a pair of dark eyes looking at him sadly, the way they did when Perth rejected the guy who owned them. He hated himself for feeling so guilty for doing this.
He felt like he was betraying Saint, when in fact Saint had done this and much more things with other people.
Blue sighed against his lips. These lips were soft, but they weren't Saint's. He didn't feel like he felt when Saint kissed him. Not even near it. He just let it happen hoping one day he would forget the feeling of his husbands lips against his.
He felt Blue sliding his hand on his outer thigh and giving it a slight squeeze. He went to push it away, but the idea to try and move on got the better of him and he let the pub owner touch him.
How desperate and low Perth felt for thinking for another person while Blue was kissing him, but it was stronger than him. He squeezed his eyes shut even harder, and tried concentrating on kissing Blue back.
That didn't happen.
After a few seconds, Blue pulled back. Perth opened his eyes immediately and hated himself for feeling relieved it was over.
He saw Blue leaning on the couch and slowly opening his eyes. He smiled at Perth and slightly caressed his hand. Perth reluctantly lets him once again.
"I liked that," Blue said leaning in again and placing a light kiss on his cheek.
Perth only nodded, unable to do anything else.
They talked a bit more about work, and even though Blue invited him to spend the night, Perth politely declined him.
The pair hugged, and soon Perth was out of there. He couldn't help but feel relieved Blue hadn't attempted to kiss him again, and respected Perth's wish to not lead things further.
●
The boy invited his friends to go at the lake and spend some hours of the afternoon there. The park where Yacht and Plan had spend their childhood was near it and Perth thought it would be a great idea to just stay there with his friends. The weather was warmer, and there was nothing better than an afternoon spent under the sun.
He was sat on a bench, looking at the view in front of him when he heard Yacht and Plan arguing from not too far away.
'What now?' Perth thought.
His friends approached him and sat on either side of him after exchanging their greetings.
"Do I want to know why were you fighting again?" Perth sighed when neither of them spoke.
"It's his fault!" Yacht shouted.
"Mine?!" Plan looked at him incredulously. "It's your's you Gordon Ramsay looking bitch. I told you to not eat my sandwich and you exactly go and do just that."
"I was hungry, arsehole! Did you want me to die?"
"No one dies from not eating a sandwich, Yacht. Stop being such a drama queen. It's just food for fuck's sake." Plan sighed.
Yacht gasped. "If you know how I feel, why would you say that? Like you put me in such an unco-"
"Okay stop. I don't know why I even bother asking with you two." Perth shook his head.
"Eh. You love us." Plan patted his shoulder.
"Unfortunately I do. But that doesn't mean you have to take it for granted and give me a headache each time you meet me."
"Yo 'I'm 5'9' my ass, we make your life spicy." Plan shoved him lightly.
"Mmmm spicy food." Yacht licked his lips.
"There you go, thinking about food again. You ate my sandwich!" Plan shouted at Yacht.
"Okay Ross, calm down. I'm going to buy you another one." Yacht waved the painter away.
"You're going to eat that too." Plan pouted.
"No, I'm not! I ate that one because I was hungry and because you were being too-"
"I kissed Blue!" Perth got up from where he was sitting, and walked two steps away from the bench, not facing his friends.
"You what?!" Yacht exclaimed. He got up and walked to Perth, Plan doing the same.
"In fact he kissed me, to be honest," Perth elaborated looking at his shoes.
Plan put his hand on his shoulder, turning him around. "When? Where?"
"He invited me for dinner at his house. We were talking and then he came closer and just kissed me."
"With tongue?!" Yacht was biting his nails.
"Ew no, Yacht. It was our first kiss."
"That didn't stop you from shoving your tongue down Saint's throat when you first kissed him," Yacht said earning a glare from Perth.
"Was it good?" Plan asked him.
"I mean I guess." Perth shrugged looking at his shoes again.
"Ahhh they grow up so fast." The painter put his hand on his chest a fond look creeping on his face.
"How do you feel about it?" Yacht asked again.
"I don't really know. I just let him kiss me. I felt bad when I was glad it ended."
Plan tsked. "That's cause you still have feelings for Saint. Don't beat yourself up for feeling like that. Feelings don't go away that easily. The fact that you didn't push it away speaks that you're making yourself ready to move on. That's a lot babe."
"I just don't want him to think I'm giving him false hope." Perth rubbed his palms in his eyes.
"Look babe, you made it clear to him what you are dealing with. He knew what he got himself into before he agreed with it and made his intentions clear towards you." Yacht hugged him as if to comfort him.
"As much as I hate to admit it, the leprechaun is right," Plan said and Yacht glared at him, "He knows you don't like him as much as he likes you. You don't owe him anything. You didn't make a move towards him, he made a move towards you. Come on Perth! He invited you out when he thought your marriage was fine. Now that he knows the truth, if Blue is who we think he is, will accept it and wait for you." The painter rubbed his shoulders.
"I know, fuck, I know. But I can't stop feeling how this is so unfair to him."
"Blue is a grown man," Yacht added, "Let him decide for himself."
"Damn, I didn't know you had all these inspiring words inside you." Plan high-fived Yacht.
"I know right?! I'm surprised meself." The lad giggled.
Perth rolled his eyes in fondness. "Anyways," he sighed, "What's up with you guys? Hey," Perth turned to Yacht, "I never learned how the date went with Sammy?"
"Oh God!" Yacht whined, "Perth she is fantastic, she is so smart and so pretty and so awesome and so... So." The lad sighed sitting on the bench again.
"Whipped." Plan sing-songed. "Ahhh Karma is a great fine lady!"
"What karma you piece of shit?!" Yacht snapped.
"That's what happens when you make fun of me for being in love. Remember how you joked about me being in love with Mean. There you go. Now you know."
Yacht grumbled under his breath curses and Perth smiled sitting near him. "I'm so happy for you Yacht. You truly deserve it. So, it's official now?"
"I mean we went on a couple of dates, and we haven't done anything apart from kissing yet. She doesn't want to rush things and I respect that. So it's too soon to say anything about being official yet. Plus she mentioned about a song she wrote for her ex about some rules. Don't wanna get on her bad side."
"What kind of rules?" Plan asked.
"I haven't listened to it yet," Yacht answered.
"Be aware Yacht. We don't want her to go all Taylor Swift on you." Plan waved his hand as if it was burning.
"Nah she is too sweet for that," Yacht smiled.
Perth beamed at his friends and checked his phone to look at the clock. "Okay lads, it was awesome meeting you, but I gotta leave now. Love you both."
Perth greeted both of his friends and left them there, needing to get back to his house fast so he could Facetime his mom.
Looking at his friend's retreating back, Plan whispered to Yacht, "Do you think Saint knows about Blue kissing him?"
"No," Yacht shook his head, "Why?"
"I think I have an idea. A great idea." Plan raised his brow, a smirk appearing on his face.
•••••••
Sorry for the late update I ran out of network.
Things are going to change soon babes.
Also I wanted to ask about the next story that I wanted to translate, the plot is much similar to this story but with PinSon and a change of the actions but with the same forced marriage but I can say it's more gentle than Saint here😂😂😂😂
So do you want it or you prefer a cozy another one