DNF
Contains: Sadness
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The distance between two "lovers" can be quite difficult. The want of your lovers arms. Their soft kisses. But being miles apart never helps those wants and needs. Being worlds apart. Across the ocean. So close yet so far.
Dear Dreamy,
Yeah this is kinda weird. I came up with a stupid idea to just write to you even though I could always message you. I thought having this piece of paper would be more sentimental. Anyway, Im writing this to you from across the ocean to say I love you and I wish I could hug you so tight rn. The thought of feeling your presence makes me want to curl up and cry. Cant wait for that day to approach!
<3 George
Clay read this stupid piece of paper over and over and over again til his brain couldn't process the world around him. Everyday he read it and every hour he wasn't he could recall the whole thing.
"I love you."
Replays over and over every hour, every minute, every second. He wanted to just fly himself over there. Package himself up and get shipped to England. He found the courage to write back thinking long and hard (haha) of what to write back.
Dear Georgie,
I got your message. Sorry it took me so long to write back. If I'm being honest I can't stop reading it. I want to frame it and hang it up on my wall. It aches my heart when I read it. Knowing we are worlds apart and can't feel the warmth of the other. I can feel your eyes burning in my mind. Your slim fingers against my veiny hand, your warming body against mine in a graceful hug. Oh how long to see your features up close. I love you George.
<3 Dream :)
He reread the paper over and over debating on just ripping it in half and throwing it away. He hesitantly folded the paper nicely and sealed it in an envelope. His heart raced as he slipped the envelope into the box. A smile burning on his face.
-weeks later-
George hopped out of bed as he heard the mailbox close. He'd been waiting for the response from his best friend. Every time that box closes he was right on it. He never even thought about texting the other. He just wanted a piece of paper back. His eyes grew wide as he read the last envelope in the pile. He excitedly ripped it open. His heart beating out of his chest as he read it. He placed a hand over his heart as he read the final sentence. He felt as if his body was chocolate being laid out in the burning heat slowly starting to melt. With the piece of paper in his shaking hand he darted to his room. And pinned the paper to his board and began writing a new piece of paper.
Dear Dream,
I got your message. I feared you weren't ever going yo write back. I don't even know what to say. This pandemic really fucks up everything. I wish I could send my heart to you. The moment I get the chance to fly to Florida I'm not passing it up. To see your complexions. Those freckles you talk about, green eyes, dirty blond hair, oh how it melts me into tiny pieces. Thank you for writing back <3
Love, George~
Clay chuckled as he read this piece of paper. He wanted to just curse the world for breaking the opportunity of getting to hold his best friends hand, or more so crush.
This messages continued on for days and days. Monthly, weekly, daily, they would send messages back and forth. Eventually they even started sending things from their area.
Dear Georgie,
I haven't wrote back in about 3 weeks as I have been a bit busy with some editing; I am very sorry for that. I just made some new merch! I thought about it and wanted to give you one. I hope you like it and enjoy your week!
<3 Dream
George blushed as he finished the short writing. He noticed the package laying at his step that was covered in smiles. He rolled his eyes playfully as he picked it up. He screeched before quickly closing the door and throwing everything on the table. He took no time longer as he rushed to open the package. His hands shaky as he pulled out the black hoodie with a smile on it. He felt tears grow in his eyes. He placed everything back down and darted to his room. He slid on the hoodie taking notice of how big it was, the bottom being right above his knees and the sleeves covered his hands. He grabbed his phone and snapped a picture. He thought about either printing it and sending it in the next message or sending it to him on discord. He decided on printing out the picture.
Dear Dream,
No need to be sorry for not writing back. I understand how busy it can get. Just don't work yourself up too much please. Also I got the hoodie. Thank you so much! It's huge! And I'm assuming you sprayed your cologne on it lol. I can't stop smelling it. I wish I could wake up to this smell and know it's you. Also I thought you'd like to see it on me so here ya go -> (Picture)
<3 Georgie~
Clay picked up the picture. He couldn't hold back his smile. He felt his face grow extremely warm as he stared longer at the photo. He carried the envelope and picture to his room. He hung the picture up with a smile that burned his cheeks.
Dear George,
You looked so cute in the hoodie. Seeing you makes me want to just say fuck it and swim across the world to you. I can't stop staring at your beautiful face. It makes me tingle inside. I hope one day I can kiss those blushed cheeks.
<3 Your Dream~
Months flew by. The writing wasn't as daily anymore it was more two or three weeks or even monthly as the two grew busier. It soon enough became a year. Clay read the date as he reread the very first message George wrote to him. He recognized the date as it was today. His face lit up. It's already been a year! Today last year George had wrote the first message. Clay completely stopped what he was doing and began writing a fairly longish paragraph.
Dear Friend,
It's been a while since I've wrote to you or received a message. Maybe too long? I don't know if you've noticed or remembered but today last year you wrote to me the first message that started this all! I can't believe it's been that long. Wow it feels like just hours ago I received that first piece of paper. I hope you are doing ok. I'm sorry I haven't checked up on you. I took a wild internet break and stopped posting and chatting with people. You know, summer isn't too far. It's gets hella hot here in Florida lol. The sound of waves over powering the people strolling. Never gets old. I still have that bracelet you made me. I'm scared to put it on as I feel like I'll break it lol. I'm sorry for not letting you know sooner about my disappearance. By the time this gets to you it will be tomorrow sadly. It'd be nice to have someone to spend this summer with other than my cat. If I've heard correctly if you got vaccinated you could fly over! If you don't want to it's completely fine or if you don't have enough for a ticket I can always pitch in. Sorry this is so long and unannounced but I guess that's the whole point! One final thing as I don't know if this will ever get to you or if you'll ever deliver back, I love you so much that you don't even understand how much it hurts. I love to the point where I don't even know if it's a friend love. I have this feeling form in my guts every time you manage to cross my mind. It burns. It breaks my heart when I think of the distance between us. The aches, the pain, breathing even hurts. To breathe the same air as you, to feel your heart beat faster and faster, I'd do anything to have you in my shaky arms.
<3 your long lost friend, Clayton
George froze. He's legs grew weak causing him to kneel down on the floor. His vision so blurry as tears flowed down uncontrollably. His sniffles causing pain. His breathing quickened and his head pounded. A few tears fell onto the paper that violently shook in his hand. He didn't move from his spot. He hugged that piece of paper til his limbs were weak. He had been waiting for this stupid paper. He stopped writing back as he though Dream had grew tired of him. His heart ached as he was possibly falling in love at that time. After what felt like hours, he finally had no more energy, no more tears. He calmed himself before pulling out a piece of paper and a pen.
Dear Dream,
I'm so sorry if any of this is hard to understand as my body is in a state of shock. I can't even think rn Clay. Once you stopped writing back I for sure thought you grew tired of me and just didn't want to respond back. You even ignored me on discord. You didn't tell me anything you just ghosted me. It hurt me Clay. I even felt myself falling in love right before you disappeared! I felt something break when I realized you weren't ever going to write back. I felt like I lost something important in my life. I felt worthless, forgotten, nothing. I felt empty! I had to keep reading your old messages to keep myself stable and it eventually stopped working and I gave up. I lost hope. As much I want to hate you right now, something keeps pulling that hate feeling away. I don't want to know what that falling in feeling felt like again. But it's hard when I know you are the person who makes me feel that. You are the reason I can't stay mad at you. You are the reason I'm writing back. I wouldn't be writing back right now but because it's you I can't resist. I still feel numb. The amount of stupid papers that aren't hanging up is ridiculous and it shouldn't bother me as much as it does. The empty spaces between every other one. I love you Clayton, I wish you would have noticed it before. I never once thought of not kissing you. It pains me and I have to suffer every damn day. You are such an idiot and my heart fell in love with that idiot.
Love, George
Clay felt like punching himself in the stomach. He had a weird feeling in his throat as his eyes scanned the final sentence. He shook his head in disbelief. He felt like hiding away to never been seen again. He wanted to yell at himself. Stand outside of himself and throw insults at himself. Telling himself that he hurt the person who gave me life. He didn't even know if he should write back at this point. He felt as if he'd just hurt him more. He aggressively sat down at the dinner chair.
George,
I can't even say I'm sorry as it doesn't feel right to me. The word 'sorry' is not enough to convince you how fucking sorry I am. How much I wanna step outside of myself and yell at myself, throw insults, tell myself what I've done to the person who made me happy. Im honestly not sure if I'll send this as I fear it'll hurt you more. If I'd known how much I was hurting you. I wish I could go back and change it all. I got so fucking distracted in the internet that I completely ignored every bit of you. You shouldn't have fallen in love with me. Im an idiot and I don't have the right mind to think about how my actions can affect loved ones. I beg to see you and tell you in person my thoughts because writing them down isn't all that easy as it seems. Fuck. I want to hear your sobs and suffer knowing I'm the reason. Im the guilty one.
Clay~
George reread that paragraph over and over and over again. He didn't stop reading it and never thought he would. He knew eventually he'd have to snap out of reality. He placed the paper back down on the table and shook his head as he walked down the hallway of his empty apartment. The boxes piled up and the echos that filled the area.
Dear Clay,
I can't not forgive you as you've been in my heart for almost my whole life. Our relationship, friendship has disconnected. I don't even know what we are anymore. You've hurt me and I've tried to move on. I gave you my heart without telling you. I wish I could back too. I'm sorry and I'll always remember you <3
I love you Clayton
<3 your George
George sealed up the paper tossing it in his bag. He grabbed a few boxes and carried them out to his car. Tears flowing down harshly. Once he fit all he could he closed the door and entered his car. His head fell onto the wheel as he couldn't calm himself. He wanted to scream at someone. Particularly Dream. He felt himself feel nothing. His tears stopped flowing and his head lifted. He wiped his eyes and started his car. As he reached the post office he shook off every thought. He sighed as he slid the envelope into the box. He stayed there for a moment before driving off tears beginning to roll down his face as he knew,
This was the last time he'd have to do that....
I FUCKING LOVED THIS! ILL PROBABLY READ IT LATER AND SOB 🥲
IF IM FEELING GENEROUS I MIGHT DO A PART TWO BUT IDK HEHEHEHE