Nandito kami sa Student Activity Area while waiting for our next class period. First day of classes kasi ngayon for the last semester of this school year. For the past two months, I made myself busy with my on-going tapings, and businesses. Nag out of town din kami nila Jaspher, Yvonne, Margaux and Dina during my semestral break para daw mawala sa isip ko si Eira.
Speaking of Eira, I haven't seen her eversince the Cagayan trip. I also stopped reaching out to her kasi para na akong nagiging tanga. There are a lot of people who like and admire me and I know my worth. Sa kanya lang ako nagpapaka tanga.
My family, and friends were there for me for the past two months. Unti unti kong tinatapangan para maiwasan ko ang pagiging affected.
I received a text message from Samantha while waiting for our last subject.
Sammy Paraiso:
Where u guys at?
Athena De Vera:
Sa puso mo.
Sammy Paraiso:
I wish! May sasabihin akong important, dali! Nasaan kayo?
Athena De Vera:
Student Activity Area, bitch. Ano ba yan? Come here na!
Sammy Paraiso:
On my way, babe :*
Athena De Vera:
Landi mo talaga!
"Hahaha! Sam is coming here, kunwari aalis na tayo. Sabay sabay tayong tumayo." Panloloko ni Matthew dahil kakalabas lang ni Samantha from the Graduate School Building.
"Fuck you, bro. You know her, she gets pissed off easily. Hahaha!" Steven's reply from Matthew na tinatawanan lang niya.
"Okay huwag na lang baka mag World War pa dito eh." Pagsusuko ni Matthew because parang cats and dogs din sila ni Samantha. Sam is nice but you don't wanna mess with her.
Pagdating ni Sam sa table namin, nakatitig lang siya sa aming lahat. Huminga siya ng malalim bago nagsalita.
"Guess who's my Professor at Customer Relationship Management." Samantha rolled her eyes on us.
Sabay sabay naman kaming napakunot ng noo dahil sa sinabi niya.
"Who? Is it Professor San Diego? Hindi pa namin siya nagiging Professor sa ibang subjects nor Professor Rodriguez. Silang dalawa na lang ang hindi namin nakikita and our last Subject is in thirty minutes." Pagmamadaling banggit ni Chinee kay Samantha.
"Oh well, it is none other than Professor Eira Rodriguez. She said, kami lang daw ang handle niya sa Graduate School Program kaya I doubt na magiging Professor niyo siya sa CRM." Samantha rolled her eyes. "I mean, halatang iniiwasan ka, Athena at ang init ng dugo sa akin. First day of classes talagang nag dedebate kami sa classroom."
If that is the case, hindi ko na pala talaga magiging Professor si Eira dahil kagaya ng sinabi ni Samantha, sila lang daw ang hinahandle ni Eira sa Graduate School.
"But, she is still handling the Student Council and the Graduate School Officers, so malaki ang chance that you will still meet her." Chinee quickly responded.
"You are right, but I have to show her that I am not affected anymore. It's been two months and it's time to move forward." I responded at Chinee.
"Yan dapat, babe! Go girl!" Samantha hugged me and then kissed me on the cheek.
"Guys, tignan niyo sino yung naglalakad palabas ng Grad School Building!" Matthew giggled.
We are all looking at Professor Rodriguez who is walking gracefully while holding her ER Collection shoulder bag. Ang ganda niya, she is walking with authority. Halos lahat ng students binabati siya at yumuyuko sa kanya.
Bigla naman nagtama ang mga mata namin habang nakayakap pa rin si Samantha sa akin. She is currently wearing a slim fitting ruffled waist dress at kitang kita ang hubog ng katawan niya. I can't believe that girl used to be mine. Naglalakad siya papunta sa Parking lot ng University. Siya agad ang nag iwas ng tingin.
Part of me wants to follow her and hug her, but my pride wants to just let her go. I need answers but I promised to myself na hindi ko siya hahabulin. Dalawang buwan ko na siyang hinahabol, tama na.
"I know the look in your eyes, Athena. Pigilan mo, huwag kang padalos dalos." Bulong sa akin ni Samantha.
"It's hard because I am not fully moved on, but I will try my best." I just smiled at the people who are with me.
Kasalukuyan akong nasa break time ng taping ng Soap Opera namin nang bigla akong nilapitan ni Eugene. Hindi ko mawari kung ano ang itsura niya ngayon.
"Spill it, Eugene. What is it?" I don't want to sound rude but I feel his nervousness.
Huminga ng malalim si Eugene. "Carina just called and need mo raw mag report sa ER Collections office tomorrow."
Napataas ang kilay ko dahil sa narinig. "So, sa'yo na pala siya nagsasabi ngayon? Para saan pa ang friendship namin I mean, pati siya, ex friend ko na rin? Akala ko pinsan niya lang ang ex ko." Natawa ako ng mapakla habang umiinom ng tubig.
Hindi mapakali si Eugene dahil alam kong nakita niya ang paghihinagpis ko noong mga panahong nag-iiyak ako para kay Eira. Lagi akong lutang sa shooting at yung ibang pictorials ko napapabayaan ko na.
"Kaya mo pa ba? Pwede mo namang hindi ituloy ang kontrata mo with ER Collections, you still have other projects lined up-'' Hindi na natuloy ang sasabihin ni Eugene nang patigilin ko siya.
"No, I can do it. I don't want Eira see that I am affected. I will just smile at her and ipapakita ko na life goes on and I can move on from her." Nginitian ko si Eugene at tumayo while crossing my arms.
"Kung kaya mo, Athena. S-sige, tatawagan ko na si Carina." Umalis na rin si Eugene at lumabas na rin ng tent.
Naiwan kami ni Joana, my make-up artist, sa loob ng tent nang pumasok ang isang Assistant Director namin.
Nandito kami sa Batangas ngayon malapit sa resort ko dahil may beach scene kami ni Trevor, leading man ko.
Sakto naman na pumasok din sa tent si Trevor.
"Hey, lovey! I bought you large Mocha Coffee. Mainit pa." Inilapag niya sa table ang coffee na dala niya.
Halos kasabayan ko sa Showbiz si Trevor at kapatid na rin ang turing ko sa kanya. Sa katunayan, may gusto siya kay Margaux na best friend ko noong High School. Isinama ko kasi noon si Margaux sa taping ko dahil curious daw siya. Doon sila nagkakilala ni Trevor.
"Nag-abala ka pa, hindi naman na kailangan." Napangiti ako sa kanya dahil iba ang aura niya today. Mukha siyang masaya.
Napakamot naman siya ng ulo. "To be honest, after many months of waiting, Margaux agreed to have a date with me outside. I thought she wouldn't like me."
Mukha kasing fuck boy itong si Trevor pero kapag nakilala mo naman deep inside, masyado siyang mabait. Kaya maraming babae ang na fa-fall sa kanya kahit wala siyang ginagawa. He has natural charm that makes any woman fall for her.
"I told you, just give her a time diba? Look at you now, at least, there's progress." I gently pat him on his shoulder.
"Oh, I forgot! May naghahanap pala sa'yo sa labas. Teacher mo raw at close friend mo? Ang ganda, puntahan mo na at ping p-piyestahan na yun doon."
Nakakunot ang noo ko sa binanggit ni Trevor. Si Eira ba? Dahil si Eira lang naman ang close kong teacher sa ngayon pero ano ang ginagawa niya dito?
Nginitian ko si Trevor at lumabas na rin sa tent. Hinanap ko agad si Eira sa crowd pero wala akong nakitang anino ni Eira.
Maya maya pa ay may yumakap sa akin sa likuran. Dahan dahan iyon hanggang sa ibinalot niya ang kanyang kamay sa aking bewang.
Naramdaman ko na lang ang pagdampi ng labi niya sa mga tenga ko. Nakakabaliw ang ginagawa niya sa akin ngayon.
"You still didn't change, Athena." Bulong niya sa left ear ko.
Nabosesan ko siya agad at agad siyang hinarap. Hindi dapat siya nandito at paano niya nalaman na nandito ako sa Batangas?
Hinila ko agad siya papasok sa sasakyan ko at nag drive palayo. Ayokong ma issue sa mga kasamahan ko sa trabaho dahil sa pinaggagawa niya. Dinala ko siya sa isang Coffee Shop at sa awa ng Diyos, there are less crowd.
Binuksan ko ang pintuan niya at hinila pababa ng sasakyan ko. Nakangiti lang siya sa akin samantalang inis na inis ako sa kanya ngayon. Mabuti na lamang at tapos na rin ang scene ko for today at break time na rin sa taping kaya it is fine if I go anywhere right now. I just stayed because there might be some announcements from the Director.
Naupo kami sa two seater round table.
"Can we just order first, baby?" Miss Robles is smiling widely right now.
"Can you just drop the baby, Miss Robles or rather, Mrs. Robles?" Inis na asik ko sa kanya.
Tinawag niya ang waitress and she ordered two coffee. I still have a coffee sa set na bigay ni Trevor na galing din sa Coffee shop na ito but I didn't have the chance to drink it because I thought Eira came for me, but unfortunately, it is Miss Robles.
"But you are my baby? Remember, when you were still in High School kulang na lang label natin sa isa't isa." As mentioned before, Miss Robles has an angelic face na hindi mo talaga aakalain na she's into girls because she is one of the hottest teachers way back in High School na hindi makabasag pinggan.
"Tell me, why are you here? Does your husband knows you're even here?" Inis na asik ko sa kanya.
"I don't have a husband. All of the Facebook posts are all lies because I want the best for you, Athena. I am here to explain my side. I told you that I want the best for you. I don't want your world revolve around me especially right after you graduated in High School. I want you to explore life without me. I was so happy when you moved to Australia but I was broken hearted when you posted a picture of you and Celeste. May nakilala kang iba. I thought you are just building your dreams." Miss Robles became sad at the point of me having another partner.
"Then why would you post something like that? Of course I would find somebody else because I thought you're married for fuck sake!" Nainis ako sa kanya hindi dahil sa may nararamdaman pa ako, kaso ang gago lang ng ginawa niya before.
"Believe me, I tried to reach out but I don't want you to ruin what you have with Celeste. I just found out that you flew from Australia and decided to pursue your acting career here in the Philippines so since then, nagkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob para harapin ka." I can feel Miss Robles' sincerity in her words.
She continued. "But, when I finally got the chance, tsaka ko nalaman na may bago ka na ulit. I could still remember her, one of the prettiest ladies I've ever seen during your mall show." She became teary eyed because of her memory with Eira.
"I don't need to explain anything to you. What we had in the past are all in the past, Miss Robles." I still care for her but as a friend not in a romantic way.
I held her left arm, since she is facing in front of me, she intertwined our hands. I just let it because I think this is much better, to finally have a closure from one another. Although we talked about parting ways before, I didn't know that she still carries what we have in the past right now in the present. We must clear things out.
What I had with Miss Robles was a beautiful memory that is easy for me to look back but I cannot bring it in the present and future. Hanggang doon na lang yun dahil wala na akong nararamdaman sa kanya.
I started to say something to her again.
"I had a beautiful memory with you. I learned how to love because of you. I learned how to get hurt because of you. You showed me how beautiful it is to be inspired everyday. I want to thank you for letting me go so I could spread my wings. You will always have me, Miss Beatrice Robles. I am grateful that you became part of my High School life but I don't feel the same way towards you anymore and you know that there's someone in my heart right now, it might be hard for me to let her go but ayokong lokohin ang sarili ko." I smiled at her and assured her that I am okay.
Hinigpitan niya ang kapit sa kamay ko and I felt that she is worried about me.
"Why? What happened between you and Eira?" Ramdam ko ang concern sa boses niya.
"We are in a complicated situation, and I think wala na rin kami kasi two months na kaming hindi nagkikibuan. We are no longer together but my heart still loves her, don't worry. Matututo din ang puso ko to free her." I bitterly smiled at her.
"Oh? What a coincidence!" Bigla niyang banggit at hindi ko maintindihan bakit niya sinabi iyon.
Napatingin siya sa likuran ko ngayon. I got curious but when I was supposed to look at what she's looking she held my chin and quickly sealed her lips against mine.
I was shocked dahil ang malambot na labi niya ay naramdaman muli ng labi ko.
I can see few people standing beside us kaya naman I quickly push Miss Robles away from me while Miss Robles is smiling at me right now.
I turned to the people who are standing beside us.
I saw Brandon, Vladimir, Carina, Lorenzo and of course no other than Eira who is currently hugged by Lorenzo. Nandito lang naman sa pwesto namin ang Rodriguez's cousins.
Eira is just wearing a denim shorts and a white sando. Gusto ko siyang lagyan ng hoodie jacket ngayon, masyadong kitang kita ang balat niya.
The face of shockingness are evident to Carina and Eira's eyes. Meanwhile, Brandon and Vladimir have their jaw dropped.
Lorenzo is grinning at me and Miss Robles right now. Of course, he is amused because finally, I am no longer in touch with Eira. Lalo pa niya hinigpitan ang kapit sa bewang ni Eira. Kaya naman nag-init ang tenga ko at gusto ko na siyang tangkain suntukin at sampalin, kaso ano ang magagawa ko?
"What are you doing here?" Carina asked in a shocking way.
"Am I not allowed to come here?" I bitterly smiled. Sa kanila ba itong Coffee Shop na 'to?
"Aren't you gonna introduce your girlfriend, Athena? She's hot! Damn!" Brandon raised his hands high because he is amazed to see Miss Robles.
Hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko. Nararamdaman ko ang matatalim na titig ni Eira sa akin ngayon. I know her when she is fuming mad but why is she mad at me? Siya nga itong sumasama ngayon kay Lorenzo.
"It's so finally great to see that you're happy with someone else, Athena. You didn't disappoint me. You really have a taste with ladies." Lorenzo blurted out while smiling.
Believe me, I really want to punch him in the face.
Napatingin naman ako agad sa mga mata ni Eira. Bigla siya nag iwas ng tingin sa akin pero ramdam ko ang sakit sa mga mata niya. Eyes don't lie, Eira.
I saw Miss Robles stood up and confidently smiled at the people beside us.
"I am Beatrice Robles, nice meeting all of you." She shake hands with Brandon, Vladimir, and Lorenzo but when her hand faced in front Eira, Eira just looked at her hand and never reached back to shake hands with her.
She really has that attitude that when she doesn't like doing, she won't really do it.
Carina just decided to speak because of the awkward situation.
"Athena and Beatrice, una na kami ha. And also Athena, I'll just contact your manager regarding your meeting, okay?" Tinulak na ni Carina palabas ng Coffee shop ang magpipinsan while naiwan kami ni Miss Robles sa loob.
Napansin ko na naupo rin si Miss Robles sa harapan ko. I know what she did there.
"You shouldn't have done that." I coldly blurted out.
Natawa naman si Miss Robles sa reaction ko.
"Didn't you see her reaction? She is hurting, Athena. That girl still loves you!" She punch my right arm.
"No, she isn't. If she really is, she would have pull me away from you but she didn't." I rolled my eyes and tinatago ko ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.
I really hate seeing her with Lorenzo. Sinabi kasi niya sa akin na ayaw niya sa kanya, bakit magkasama sila ngayon? So totoo nga ang mga chismis na sila na ni Lorenzo?
Ang swerte naman ng hayop na yon.
Pinapanood ko na lang na inaalalayan ni Lorenzo si Eira papasok ng sasakyan like she's a vulnerable princess. But before Eira gets inside the car, I saw her glanced at me. Kitang kita kasi sa glass ng Coffee Shop ang Parking lot kung nasaan sila ngayon.
"I don't know why Eira is committing the same mistake that I did for you. I don't know why she is making things complicated. The burning desire between the two of you are very evident. I am in no position but you should clear things out." I heard Miss Robles lecturing me and the situation.
Hindi ko na alam ang mangyayari. Masyado nang magulo ang mundo namin ni Eira. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan na lang kami aabutin. Wala naman na kami pero ang hirap niyang tanggalin sa sistema ko. Araw araw nababaliw ako. Natatameme ako kapag nagkikita ko siya. Naiinis ako dahil wala akong nagawa.
Eira was mine. I can't have her even if I wanted to.