ASMAU
If you are currently reading this letter, it means that I have already gone far away, to ponder about our marriage, my life, our arguments and clashes, Iman, and a lot of other things. True love alone can't sustain a marriage, Abubakar. We need trust and communication, especially trust, and that's where we've fallen short. Please don't think I'm leaving because I don't love you or our family. Leaving isn't easy; I'm leaving behind a part of my life, my children, my family, and you. It's a painful decision, but it's important for both of us to have time to reflect on everything. Sometimes, I question whether you truly love me because of the way you make me feel so please understand me and respect my decision. Take good care of yourself and our children. I'm leaving with the hope that you'll recognize my value in your life, and the depth of my love for you. Please don't try to find me because you won't be able too. If we're meant to be we will get back together one day. Goodbye for now.
After I finished writing the letter, a single tear slid down my cheek. I folded it carefully and placed it on top of my bed. Then, I pulled my trolley downstairs. Luckily, the kids had gone to visit Mami, so they wouldn't see me. Leaving them was the hardest part. I wished there was a way we could go together, but it seemed impossible. I could take Afeen and Afeena, but for Safeeya, Ansar, and Noorie, it was more complicated because I wasn't their biological mother. I didn't want Iman to accuse me of kidnapping her children.
"Who's there!?" Safeeya's voice echoed from upstairs. I quickly hid behind the wall, hoping she wouldn't spot me.
But after a moment of silence, I realized she had moved away. I seized the opportunity and rushed to the door.
Goodbye, my home.
Goodbye, my kids.
Goodbye,
my love.
ABUBAKAR
"I can't do this anymore; I'm going to go apologize," I said, rising from the couch. After our argument with Asmau yesterday, I came over to Najib's house to clear my head.
"I honestly don't understand the both of you. Do you guys always have problems?" he asked.
"Our problems got worse after Asmau had a miscarriage. She said it's Iman's fault."
"Do you believe her or not?"
"Najib, I honestly don't know what to believe right now. I'm so confused."
"Then investigate it or something, guy."
"You know what Najib? I wish Iman never even came back. I wish she never came back for the kids or for anything. She just caused a lot of troubles for Asmau and me. It's so frustrating," I groaned.
"You want to mend your relationship with Asmau, don't you?" he asked.
"Of course, I do, Najib. What kind of question is that?"
"Then take time off from work and go on a vacation with your wife, make her feel special at least, or just leave Nigeria with your family and never come back so Iman won't find you," he chuckled, and I sent him a glare.
"You are crazy, Najib. Though I like your first idea. I won't let Iman or anybody get in between us again. I really love Asmau, and I hate the fact that I act irrational sometimes and we fight. So from today onwards, I'll do everything in my power to mend our relationship and make her happy. She deserves it because she's an amazing woman. I shouldn't be causing her pain, especially now that she's going through a lot of problems."
"I'm glad you understand, bro."
"I will get going; see you later," I shook hands with him and strolled out of his apartment.
First, I stopped by a flower shop and got her some roses before I drove home. As soon as I arrived home, I went up to her room.
"Asmau," I called, walking into our room. I knocked on the bathroom door to check if she was there; there wasn't any response. So I opened the door and peeped, and she wasn't in there either.
"Where is she?" I thought.
I walked toward the bed and placed the flowers there when my eyes caught the attention of something. There was a folded paper on the bed.
I slowly reached for it and then opened it.
"No, No, No! This can't be happening! Please, Asmau, don't do this to me," I said, trying hard not to believe what I read. I walked over to her dresser just to be sure, and most of her clothes were not there. So it's really true; she left me.
How could she do this to me?
"Asmau, why??!!!!" I yelled, throwing the side lamp on the floor. "HOW DARE SHE!!" I clenched my fists and then walked over to the wall, punching it continuously.
"Daddy, please stop!" I heard Safeeya's voice, and I paused turning round to face her. "What's wrong?" she asked with a frightened look.
"She left us," I whispered as I felt a new wave of anger boiling up inside of me.
"Who?" She asked.
"Mummy?" She asked again, and I nodded.
"She left us just like Iman did some years ago. I can't believe she gave up so fast."
"No, Daddy, Mummy isn't like that. I'm sure maybe something happened. She won't just leave like that; I know."
"I don't want to believe it too, Feeyah, but she's gone."
"Are you angry at her?" She asked.
"I will find her, Feeyah; she'll come back to us, don't worry." I said, trying to reassure myself too.
"I hope so, Daddy."
ASMAU
"Aunt Asmau, we've arrived," Basma announced, jolting me out of my reverie. I gave her a slight smile before stepping out of the car.
"This is my elder sister's house," Fahad informed, standing beside me.
"Ooh! But Fahad, are you sure I won't be a burden? I have some relatives here; I can stay with them."
"Come on, Asmau. I already informed her that you will be staying here with us, and she was really happy about it, so don't worry."
"Okay, then."
"Shall we go in?" He asked.
"What about our luggage?"
"The security man will bring it in; don't worry."
"Okay."
"Let's go in then," he said and led the way as I trailed behind him.
"Welcome, welcome! Please come in," a lady who looked like she was in her early 30s welcomed us inside the house with a cheerful smile plastered on her face. "You must be Asmau, right? You're so beautiful," she said and pulled me in for a hug.
"Yes, and you must be Adda Zarah, right?" I asked with the same enthusiasm.
"Yess, dear! Please have a seat, make yourself at home," she gestured for me to take a seat, and I did.
"Adda, what about me? Am I invisible or what?" Fahad asked.
"Ya Fahad, Adda Zahra didn't even notice the both of us, so I think it's better we just go back to Abuja," Basma joined him, and I smiled at their childishness.
"Come on, guys, it's not like that," she chuckled. "Now come, give me a hug," she wrapped her arms around them.
"Asmau, I'm sure you are tired. I'll go get you some water before I show you your room," she said and strolled to the kitchen.
"Your sister is so nice." I smiled.
"I told you she's happy that you're here," he replied.
"I'm back! Asmau, here's some cold water. Please feel at home; this is your house too," Adda Zahra said again, keeping a tray of refreshments on the centre table.
"Okay, I will, Adda," I smiled.
After I was done, she showed me to my room and left. I went to the bathroom and had a hot shower, then performed ablution. After I came out, I got dressed and then went ahead to pray. After saying my Adkhars, I unplugged my phone and turned it on.
Wow! Thirty missed calls.
Three from Ya Aminah.
Ten from Safeeya.
Fifteen from Abubakar.
Two from Ansar.
They also sent me some messages. I opened Safeeya's first:
"Mummy, please, wherever you are, come back home."
"Please forgive Daddy; he will make it up to you, I promise."
"Mummy, please answer me; don't leave us. We love you so much, and we want our family to be together."
"Afeen and Afeena are looking for you; they have been crying, Noorie too."
I love you too, Feeyah. But I'm sorry. I have to do this.
Abubakar sent me a message too, so I opened it:
"Hayatie, please, I'm sorry. I know I hurt you; I know I have been the worst husband to you, and I'm sorry for that. I know you feel like I don't love you; I know you feel like our marriage means nothing to me. I know you feel like we're not meant to be, but my love, you got it all wrong! I love you with all my heart, and I'll do everything to have you back. So please don't abandon me. I'm nothing without you. Nothing in life gives me joy except knowing that I am loved by you. I know I made a lot of mistakes, and I hurt you, but, darling, I love you and only you! Please come back home; our family is incomplete without you, my love. I hope you think about this. Baby, I love you and only you, and I will continue to love you till my last breath❤"
"I love you too, Abubakar, but I won't make things easy for you," I muttered, throwing the phone on the bed.
**
"Adda, do you need any help?" I asked as soon as I entered the kitchen and saw her frying something.
"No, Asmau, thank you. You should go get some rest, please," she said with a smile.
"I've already gotten enough rest. I took a nap, and I just woke up. Are you going to cut these onions?" I asked, pointing at a bowl of onions.
"Oh, that's good. And yes, I'm cutting them," she replied.
"Okay, then, I'll do it. I'll cut them."
"Come on, Asmau, please. You're a visitor; you shouldn't be working." She shook her head.
"But, Adda, you said I should feel at home, and working will make me feel at home. So please allow me to do it. I want to help out."
"Okay, then, Asmau, since you insist," she chuckled, and I got to work.
"Adda, Fahad mentioned that you have kids, but I didn't see any of them."
"Oh, yeah, I do. The reason you didn't see them is that they went for their daily lessons; that's why," she replied.
"Oh, okay."
"So, Asmau, tell me about yourself."
"What do you want to know?" I asked and walked over to the tap to wash the onions.
"You're married, right?" She asked, and I nodded. "Then why are you here? Is it because of work?" She asked again.
"No, it's not work," I replied, feeling a bit uncomfortable about the topic.
"Oh, what is it, then?" She asked.
"Adda, I'd rather not talk about it. I'm sorry."
"No, Asmau, I understand. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. But please, if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you." She assured.
"Thank you, Adda. I appreciate it," I smiled at her.
"Mamaa!" A little girl shouted, running into the kitchen.
"Haba, Afifa, be careful so you don't fall," Adda scolded the little girl, who I presumed to be her daughter. "Now say hi to Aunty Asmau," Adda instructed the little girl, who turned around with widened eyes.
"I'm sorry; I didn't see you there, Aunty," she apologized cutely and walked over to me. "You're so beautiful," she said, reaching to grab my hands.
"Say Ma shaa Allah, Afifa," her mother scolded.
"You're more beautiful, my little angel," I said, pulling her cheeks playfully.
"Do you want to see my new toy?" She asked with a grin.
"Of course, I would love to," I replied, and she immediately ran out of the kitchen.
"Oh, Afifa, Asmau, don't mind her, please. She's too naughty," Adda sighed.
"It's okay, Adda. Besides, she reminds me of my daughter, Noorie," I replied, feeling a pang in my chest. My poor baby, I'm sure she must have been looking for me.
"Allah sarki, I'm sure she misses you. She should have followed you here."
"Adda, it's not that easy, but I miss her too. I miss them all so so Much." I said, sincerely.
***
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