Cosette spent the better part of her day flipping through the contents of Fred's journal. Some entries were short and sweet.
05-19-94
I caved and asked Setty to make a study guide for me for the OWL's
07-15-94
Went into the city with Setty and she showed me a few of her favorite muggle cafe's. I wanted to pay but I don't understand muggle currency at all
Some entries seemed more like unfinished thoughts.
06-01-94
I think I lost my potions textbook
08-22-94
George thinks that if we mix bitter root and Kneazle hair we might be able to make that potion work
Cosette panicked for a moment when she read that line because she was fully aware that mixing bitter root with any type of component from a warm-blooded creature was potentially dangerous.
She wished that she had the chance to pick his mind and question him about what he wrote. An image flashed through her mind. Not a memory for once, but a lost vision. What could have been.
She pictured herself going through his closet, probably trying to organize it or clean it when she would have stumbled across these journals. Of course, curiosity would have gotten the better of her and there was no doubt in her mind that she would have spent the rest of the day reading them and questioning him about each and every entry.
Cosette could see herself sprawled across his bed with her head in Fred's lap, probably teasing him for things he wrote when he was younger. Fred would pluck the journal out of her hands when he didn't want to explain something or if he was embarrassed.
It was something so simple, but Cosette could envision it so clearly in her mind.
She could have had that.
Two months ago, a thought like that would have made her break down in tears. Thinking about the what if's was never easy but it certainly wasn't as hard as it used to be.
Cosette closed the journal and tossed it on the mattress next to her. She pushed herself off the bed and made her way out of the room to check on her dad. Even with the door only open a crack, she could hear him snoring away so she quickly shut it and went back across the hall.
Her bag had been left unpacked, having gotten distracted the second she found Fred's journal. Instead of letting it sit at the end of her bed, she figured now was as good a time as any to make herself more at home.
The top drawers in her dresser were empty but the second row was filled with clothes she used to wear when she was a teenager and the bottom row carried her old school uniforms that most likely didn't fit her anymore.
Since she didn't pack much, most of what she brought fit into the dresser but she continued to look around the room to see what else had been leftover from her move.
Old textbooks that no longer benefited her lined a bookshelf, along with novels that she used to read growing up. Her fingers slowly traced over the spines of the books before she moved on to browse through her closet.
Her Yule Ball dress was the first thing she saw when she pulled open the door. The familiar Periwinkle blue material of the skirt made her smile. She pushed the hanger to the center of the closet and scanned over the intricate floral design stitched into the mesh top.
Cosette thought about putting this dress on again, but she knew that her hips had widened since she purchased it and she recalled how emotional she was when she gained a few pounds before the ball and thought she wouldn't fit into it. After nearly seven years, Cosette knew she gained a lot more than just a few pounds and decided against playing dress up.
Just admiring it was good enough. It filled her with the warmest of memories.
Next in her closet was a grey Hogwarts jumper. The fabric was pilled and the stitching of the crest was pulling apart in some areas, but she remembered how often she wore it. It was one of the comfiest sweaters she owned and Cosette couldn't count how many nights she put it on after a long day of classes.
Cosette lifted the sleeve of it up to her face, expecting it to still smell of smoke from all the times she sat in front of the fireplace doing homework, but it just smelled as though it had been hanging in a closet for too long.
The item next to it made Cosette's heart fall to the pit of her stomach. She covered her mouth with a hand as she gasped in disbelief at the knitted green jumper with the letter F marked into it with yellow wool. Much like the Hogwarts one, the stitching wasn't in pristine condition anymore but that didn't matter.
Fred had given it to her when they first started dating. He had grown so much since Molly had gifted the sweater to him that it no longer fit, but he loved his mother so he would have never gotten rid of it completely. He didn't think twice before handing it over to Cosette.
She wore it to all of his Quidditch games that year. The first time she wore it out of her dormitory all of the girls in her year hounded her with questions and comments about it. Dying to know how Fred asked her out as they all gushed over how adorable it was that he gave her his jumper.
Cosette cheeks were bright red for the entirety of the game.
Without even realizing what she was doing, Cosette pulled the hanger through the collar and held the sweater in her hands. She stared at it for a few seconds before pulling it over her head.
The second that she pulled her arms through the sleeves, Cosette felt a tear stream down her face.
But she wasn't sad.
This jumper, like her dress and so many other things that sat in this room, relayed nothing but good memories. Cosette let so many worries about her grades get to her when she was younger, but really, those were the good days.
When she was carefree and happy and in love.
As she hugged her arms around herself, looking down at the sleeves that were still drowning her wrists, part of her wished she could go back to those days.
Cosette sniffed back a few more tears right as she heard a knock on her bedroom door.
"Sets did you-" Nick stood in the doorway, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he scanned over her outfit. "What is this? A trip down memory lane?"
Cosette wiped her eyes as a laugh escaped her lips. Her eyes were glossy as she sat down at the edge of her bed. When Nick noticed she was crying, while still laughing, he hesitantly walked further into the room.
"Are you having another psychotic break?" He asked, sitting down next to her which only made her laugh more. She could tell he was most definitely worried about her but the conflicting emotions had him confused on what to do.
"No, no," Cosette sniffed again. "It's just funny. A trip down memory lane. I asked the same thing to-"
Cosette cut herself off.
She asked the same question to George the night she was in his flat. The night when they stood in the kitchen and she noticed he was wearing an old Quidditch t-shirt.
The night they first slept together.
But she couldn't necessarily tell Nick that.
"I just found it," she said, referring to the sweater. "Fred gave it to me when we started dating. It's just..." Cosette sighed, "Nice. It's just nice."
Nick nodded his head, understanding the sentimental meaning behind it. She wasn't crying because of the sweater. She was just overcome with her own memories for a change as opposed to reading about Fred's in his journals.
"You miss him?" He asked.
Cosette dropped her head and picked at the hem of the jumper where a string was coming loose, "I'll always miss him."
"But you're not hurting anymore," It was more of a statement rather than a question. In the short amount of time Nick had been back in her life, he had noticed her emotional growth.
"Not as much," Cosette smiled at the thought.
Nick nodded again, but conversations like this weren't his strong suit so he wasn't sure where else to go with it. He was worried that asking more questions about Fred would hit a nerve in her but he didn't think it was right to get up and leave either.
Instead, he just nudged his arm against hers and changed the topic into something lighter.
"So," he grinned and Cosette eyed him warily. "How was hanging out with Elliot the other night?"
Cosette snorted but she wasn't at all shocked by his unsubtle segue, "Nick we didn't even do anything."
"I don't need to know the details."
She hit the back of her hand against his arm, "No, I mean, we literally didn't do anything. We left shortly after you did."
"Why?" Nick seemed personally offended that his attempt to set them up didn't work. "He's nicer than Ben, I'll tell you that."
"No, I know," Cosette told him. "He's a gentleman, truly. He's funny and charming and he's a good guy, I like him."
"I sense a 'but' coming along."
But I'm seeing someone.
But Elliot's not the person I want.
But I'm sort of dating George.
There were a handful of things she could say in regards to this. A handful of things she really wanted to say.
Cosette wanted to be honest with Nick when it came to George, but the stress of being judged by her own family wasn't something she needed.
Granted, he did already ask her if something was going on the night of Malfoy's party and he said he wasn't surprised at the idea of them together. Nick just wanted her to be happy more than anything.
"But I'm seeing someone," she managed to get out. No name yet, but that was a start.
Nick's eyes widened. A curious smirk appeared on his face, "Oh?"
"Yep," Cosette averted her eyes but Nick was burning holes into the side of her head. He was worse than the girls at Hogwarts when she started dating Fred.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, nudging her shoulder again.
"No."
"Can we talk about it?" He grinned and Cosette snorted another laugh. She had never been close with him before, but this childish banter seemed to be making up for the years of lost conversations.
Cosette knew he wasn't going to let this go, but something was still holding her back from mentioning George's name.
"He's tall," she looked up, trying to think of some adjectives that could describe George without giving his identity away. "He's british."
"Great so that narrows it down to half of the UK's population, thanks Sets," Nick teased, rolling his eyes. "Is he a wizard? If he's not I guess that's fine too, but I can't really see you dating a muggle guy."
"Yes, he's a wizard," Cosette told him. "He's smart, too. Surprisingly smart if I'm being honest."
Nick eyed her suspiciously as she got up from the bed, rolling the sleeves up as best as she could. She was purposely avoiding eye contact, worried that one wrong look would tell Nick everything that he wanted to know.
"Funny?" He asked, remembering how Cosette said she wanted to date a guy with a good sense of humor.
Cosette instinctively smiled, "Very."
As she continued to aimlessly scan through her closet, Nick ran through dozens of names in his mind of people who she could potentially be dating, but it didn't take him long before putting the pieces together.
The night of George's party when Ben accused Cosette of sneaking off with George, Nick didn't think anything of it at first. He assumed that Ben was going off because he was drunk and annoyed and when he mentioned it to Cosette, she brushed it off.
But at the Malfoy Manor when George took Cosette outside, Nick saw how desperate George was to help her. It wasn't the type of worry that only a friend would have, it was something more.
Even though Cosette's back was towards the center of the room, she knew that Nick was still sitting on the bed, waiting for her to admit who she was seeing.
And she wanted to tell him. She didn't like the idea of keeping her relationship with George a secret, but Cosette figured it was the best thing to do for the time being. She was scared about how his family would react. Their friends would certainly have comments about it.
Nick wasn't part of that group though.
It wasn't as though he grew up with the Weasley's in the way that she did. They weren't even friends at Hogwarts. He spoke to Fred a handful of times, but never enough to form a friendship of their own.
Cosette weighed the possibility that his opinion, out of everyone's, would probably be the least judgmental.
And she had to be honest with people eventually.
Cosette shut the closet door and turned around, leaning against it as she crossed her arms over her chest. Nick raised his eyebrows expectantly, waiting for her to say anything.
Her jaw clenched and she looked down at the floor, "It's George."
Silence wavered between them before Nick repeated it, "George."
There was no shocking undertone to Nick's voice. He didn't look at her in disbelief nor did he make any sort of notion to give away that he was surprised at this piece of information.
"You're not-" Cosette's eyebrows furrowed at his lack of reaction, "Did you know?"
Nick shrugged his shoulders, "It wasn't hard to figure out just now."
Cosette didn't know what to say. Nick wasn't asking any questions and he didn't seem confused at the fact that she was with George. She couldn't read the blank expression on his face.
"You don't think it's strange?" Cosette asked. Again, Nick shrugged in response.
"Do you think it's strange?" He asked in return and Cosette needed a second to think about her answer. She peered down at Fred's sweater, still on her body. Dozens of thoughts ran through her mind, all screaming at her as to why it was more than just strange that she was with the man who was identical to the one that she lost.
"I really like him," Cosette blurted out, avoiding her own question. Nick nodded his head slowly, encouraging her to continue. "I never thought I would be happy with someone after Fred but when I'm with George it's like my heart hurts, but in a good way," Cosette laughed softly, "It's so hard for me to put into words what it's like when I look at him, but everything just feels right for a change."
Cosette constantly found herself at a loss for words when she was with George. She didn't know when it had started, but she didn't just see a friend anymore. She didn't look at him and see the twin brother of the boy she dated.
She saw George. She saw the guy who looked at her like she was the only person in the room.
"I didn't think I would ever find someone because there are pieces of me that are broken and damaged," Cosette's voice started to shake, "but he sees past them."
"Then I don't think it's strange that you're with him," Nick took a slow glance around the room. There was something else on his mind, something that he wasn't sure how to bring up.
"Nick, just say it," Cosette sighed. If she was going to be open and honest it was only fair that he was too.
He raised his hand to scratch the back of his neck, making a face of uncertainty, "I just thought he was with that blonde girl."
"Lottie," Her name felt like acid in Cosette's mouth, "Yeah it's a bit complicated."
"How so?"
Cosette didn't know how to properly explain that George was cheating on his current girlfriend. If she were to come out and say it, George would seem like the biggest and most untrustworthy prick.
But her silence was enough for Nick to figure out the answer on his own. He raised his eyebrows at her and Cosette rubbed her hands over her face before tugging at her roots.
"Please, whatever you're going to say just keep it to yourself," Cosette asked him and Nick snorted.
"You don't even know what I'm going to say, Sets."
Cosette shook her head, "Something like once a cheater always a cheater?"
"Oh good so you're familiar with that saying," Nick replied sarcastically and Cosette reached for one of the paperback books on the shelf to throw at him. Nick caught it with ease and dropped it onto the bed, "Look you're an adult, do whatever you want, just be careful, is all."
"I know," Cosette appreciated that he wasn't trying to give her any sort of advice in this situation. She made her way to the end of the bed and sat down next to him, "No one in his family knows."
"Are you planning on keeping it a secret forever?" Nick asked her, to which Cosette shook her head again.
"No, no," she said. "I just need some time to figure out what to say. I was with Fred for almost six years. I just don't want them to think any different of me."
"You'll figure it out," He assured her, nudging his arm against hers. Cosette really didn't expect anything else from him. Nick wasn't the comforting type of person. The fact that he hadn't said anything blatantly negative was enough for her.
It was like a small piece of weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Telling Nick was surprisingly easy and although she was nowhere near ready to tell anyone else, this conversation had given her a bit of a confidence boost. Nick had made it clear from the start that he just wanted her to be happy, Cosette was hoping that when they did eventually tell George's family, they would want the same thing for both of them.
She gave him a quick smile as he got off the bed, letting her know that he was going to get started on making something for dinner.
Cosette pulled Fred's sweater off and folded it up in her lap. The yellow F stared up at her, reminding her of all the times she wore it.
Before Cosette could hang it up again, Nick came back into her room. He wavered in the door frame with another look of concern.
"I just need to ask, Sets," His tone was urgent. "You're not with George because he reminds you of Fred, right?"
Painful question, but one she understood and there was no doubt in her mind that Nick wasn't going to be the only person to ask this.
"No," Cosette's response was quick. She didn't even have to think about it. "No, I'm with him because I want to be with him."
Nick nodded, debating whether or not to keep this conversation going before deciding against it and heading down the stairs.
Fred and George being identical twins had nothing to do with any of it. Her feelings for George were its own separate thing and Fred's role in her life had no influence on them.
She loved Fred. Part of her always would. But that didn't mean she had to live the rest of her life with him in the back of her mind.
Fred would have wanted Cosette to move on and be happy. Maybe not with George, but it wasn't as though Fred really had much of a say in her life anymore.
George made her happy. Ridiculously and inexplicably happy. The kind of happy where her jaw would hurt from how much she smiled when she was with him and there was that constant feeling as though her body was on fire whenever he just looked at her.
It was the kind of happiness that Cosette hadn't felt in a long time and it was all because of George.
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hi friends sorry for the late update i know u probably miss george i miss him too
love you i'll update soon pls remember to vote