Liam walked into the bar, exhausted from his last final but happy to be back with the crazy patrons and vibe-inducing music. What he didn't expect was Simon meeting his eyes and walking up to him, clapping a hand on his back. It's not that he didn't like the gesture, he just didn't understand what he had done to receive it, that was all. He couldn't help the smile on his face, though, tensing slightly when Simon held up a microphone and cleared his throat to get people's attention.
"BGT Bar, folks! Britain's Got?"
"Tequila!"
"Britain's Got?"
"Tequila!"
"Britain's Got...?!"
"Tetanus!!" Harry yelled above everyone else, hands cupped over his mouth to increase the volume. Some heads whipped to him, Simon's and Liam's included and he could only wink, clapping the loudest for the birthday boy and cheering his name before anyone else could.
"That's enough, Harry. Anyway, guess who's a year older, today? Your favourite bartender, Liam Payne!" The crowd cheered and Simon smirked at Louis, earning a bored scoff that put him off before he returned to smiling at the crowd. Ugh, did everything have to be a competition to the guy? It was literally exhausting putting up with his shit, Louis didn't even care enough to be shitty to him, it really just slipped out unconsciously but Simon made his disdain for him pretty strong. Well, he would leave soon, soon as Liam settled into things more.
"Good one." Harry curtsied in response and Louis shook his head, glancing around. There was a window with Eleanor's name, description and her blurred photo taken from a security camera on it. That couldn't have helped much keeping her out but it was unnecessarily kind of Harry to go through the trouble of forcing his wish upon Simon till he did as he was told.
They never did talk about that Eleanor incident but she was banned from the bar and Louis was curious about what power he could have possibly possessed to make everyone bow, even Simon of all people. "I never did thank you for the Eleanor thing. More cos I think a permanent ban might be a little extreme but... Ah, thanks for the little decorations for this party thing, too. The banner and balloons are all you, all I did was send some invites to some contacts. Feels like there's more but that's about all my brain can pull out at the moment."
"No need. It was my pleasure. And it makes me guilty to say this but particularly the first one. She was awful."
"Yeah, yeah, awful."
"Totally hated her, how dare she?!"
"Mhmm, dare."
"I mean, she body shamed this gorgeous bod, what a monster!"
"Yup. Body, monster."
"Lou...!" He whined, playfully shaking his shoulders. "Stop that!"
"Sorry, sorry, it's just... It happened weeks ago, bruv, I think you're just a little bit jealous that Eraser got herself an upclose and person show while you only got to get horny from the sidelines." Harry flushed, shaking his head. Louis would do well not to remind him because it was a struggle that day not to touch himself thinking about it.
"Fuck you and fuck off, Lou, Liam's coming! And why does he have so many college dude bro friends. Eww." He arched a brow and inched closer.
"Oh, Harry...? Do you remember...? The helmet... Boots... Tank top..." Hazz shut his eyes, practically melting when Louis slowly muttered "suspenders" then pulled away when Liam showed face, his expression totally blank like he hadn't just tried to break an innocent boy.
When Liam got off stage, he looked around with hope in his eyes for a moment, letting out a cough as if it could cover up for his scowering when a few of his college friends came up to him. Harry was oblivious but Louis had a feeling he knew exactly the guy being searched for. Honestly, he couldn't for the life of him understand where Zayn was, either. Even if he didn't know it was Liam's day, he always followed Harry into the club and watched people like a creepy ass hawk, especially Harry and of course, Liam discreetly. It was his way, Louis didn't judge him for that.
"Harry... You almost gave Simon a heart attack, you know that, right?"
"Wow, bonus points! Good job, Harr." He ruffled the boy's hair fondly, not catching Liam's suggestive brow wiggling that had Harry squeaking and leaning down to bury his face into Louis' shoulder. Louis didn't move, doing his best not to touch his hair instead and narrowed his eyes as Liam sent him a smug look.
"Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean I'll hesitate to beat the shit out 'f ya."
"Okay, okay, understood mate. I'm just surprised is all. Seems you two got closer while I've been away studying my brain to mush. I swear to God, I don't know if you being here has made Harry better or worse." He said that because cheeky as Harry's he'll was, he didn't look like he had touched a drop of alcohol yet and that was highly unusual for him.
"Good in some ways, not so good in... Specific others." Harry smirked when Louis winked at him to play some pretend, flustered when Louis grinned at him. He nonchalantly put an arm around his shoulders and rose and finished a glass in honour of Liam, patting Harry's head afterwards. "I am so proud of him. S'made some serious progress. Now I just need to teach you about how important the middle finger is, both in public and... You know, in private and perhaps we can work on up from there."
Liam nearly choked, frowning at Louis who sent him a lazy smile as he made a circle with his thumb and index finger, sliding the index finger on the right through it. With wide eyes, Harry smacked Louis' chest playfully the moment Liam had walked away and mumbled, "Lou...! He's g'nna think we're fucking!"
"Does that bother you?" Harry swallowed and shoved him with a huff. Louis felt a laugh coming on, shaking his head as his smile slowly waned off into nothingness. He was doing so much of that, these days. It felt like too much, really. It made the numbness he was once completely used to feel a little suffocating, a recent development. He rose his head slightly, turning towards Hazz and whispered, "you should go get your present, you know."
"It's from me, it's... Well, it's Zayn's. I don't even know what's in it, he didn't let me open it. That dick." He was cross for a second, suddenly remembering there was a present to deliver and his facial expression switched in an instant. Louis pinched Harry's cheek and followed him to get it from his satchel where he had kept it hidden, both walking to Liam as he served two women with a large grin on his face.
"Jesus Christ, college boy, your exams finished just today, take a break for once! You aren't even supposed to be here but I knew you'd show up. That dumb work ethic of yours. Now, hand it over, Harr." Liam looked between both of them as he took the rectangular item wrapped in brown paper.
"If I'm being pranked and this is a picture of some kama sutra shit between the happy couple, I will yeet this thing out of our dimension."
"Don't flatter yourself. We'll give you that... next year. Harry and I actually got you nothing. Him because he accidentally forgot." Harry blushed and Louis continued. "Me because my existence is the best gift of all, don't you think?"
"I'm bloody tired of you. If it was neither of you, who-"
"It was Zayn, now open it! The suspense is killing us!" At the last word, Louis looked at Harry like he had just been fatally shot but Liam wasn't looking at them. His fingers ran over the paper over and over again. Harry was complaining to Louis about how he really needed to see what was inside but it took one "be quiet, love or I'll send you to a corner right now" to keep him quiet, once again fitting perfectly in the crook of Louis' neck to hide how hard he was blushing from the planet.
Liam cautiously tore it open, unsure of what to expect. Perhaps it was one of those things he was always drawing. A small book, maybe? Whatever it was, he was already in love with it, he just knew. Of all his guesses, however, none of them expected the picture before them.
It was an abstract painting with all the colours of the rainbow in it. Beneath was a picture frame of the perfect size to slide it into. It reminded him of their past and Liam nearly fell to the floor when he saw Zayn's initials at the bottom edge. Had Zayn really painted this for him?
"After all these years... I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. He... He remembers. How... How... I don't understand. I don't know how to understand him, I don't..."
"What's going on?" Louis told Harry to go and mingle while he spoke to Liam, eliciting a brief groan but no further complaint. He slipped under the bar and joined the pale man on the other side, placing his chin on his shoulder. They both stared at it together until Louis sighed long and hard, asking him what it was.
"A memory," Liam whispered, almost completely breathless.
The first time Liam and Zayn met, it was back in their teenage years. Both got pulled towards a particular work in an art exhibit. Zayn had already been walking around the gallery at the time when he spotted the painting and Liam was outside, on his way to meet some friends but the meld of colours caused a lump in his throat he couldn't describe so he forced himself to go in if he could and take a closer look.
That was how the universe pulled them together for the very first time. Zayn's father was actually planning to send him away for a job, one that caused he and Harry Styles to meet, so this was to be his last day as a free man. And Liam? He was convincing himself to go and study business administration, which would eventually cause him to meet Louis Tomlinson. They were both at intense stages in their lives, brought an overwhelming feeling of both peace and deep confusion from the painting before them and before they knew it, they had bumped into each other and, after a brief apology from each, tried to keep their attention on the painting that had pulled them to the same spot, rather than on each other.
They spent hours talking after Liam broke the ice and the beautiful, shy boy before him slowly broke out into a bit of a cheeky one underneath. They talked about what drew them both to the painting, among other things and comforted each other in a world where everyone is weighed down by expectations to conform and fit into a box. Their bond was electric, strangely electric and they spent the entire day together, ending up at the beach as the sun began its voyage home.
He had told Liam to sit absolutely still, desperate to capture how the sun highlighted his inner glow with a pencil and paper but the boy kept jokingly moving about until Zayn gave a warrior cry and jumped on him, both rolling around in the sand. The artist stared down at him, enveloped by warmth when Liam nervously smiled and asked him what was wrong. He dove his head and had their lips meet but Liam was so shocked he couldn't move. And then he was getting up and shaking his head and Liam desparately wanted to say something, do something but he was frozen in place.
It wasn't until he turned to leave that Liam croaked out "please", feeling himself tear up from fear and wonder when Zayn moved towards him and took his lips again. They didn't stop kissing... They couldn't. Just like the painting, they were utterly confused but at the most peace they had been in a while. It felt like their lips were made for each other.
Liam's face heated up as his mind went on overdrive. Everytime he thought he had moved past his infatuation with Zayn, he did something seemingly insignificant like meeting his eyes by accident or sending him a small smile and butterflies erupted in his stomach. But he didn't know what to call this because he honestly hadn't thought Zayn remembered that day, yet there was the proof. After all those years... Why did he have to show him that? Why was he messing with Liam's head like this, yet, didn't even bother to show up and had it passed over through a middleman? It was all so unfair and confusing he genuinely wanted to scream.
"You are so whipped over this guy. Can't be surprised, really. Can't tell you how many times I had to get your attention when you were ogling the football team... But this does seem deeper than that. I almost want to ask what the story is but that's for you to tell."
"Don't say that. Zayn's just an exception... I mean, he's really good-looking, that's all and that's what catches my eyes but that doesn't make me anything like you, or like Hazz, or whatever. I doubt he's like you guys, either."
"Oh? So many excuses, Li. Are you trying to tell me you're heteroflexible? Huh? He's just that one guy who can make your straight little heart bend on its own accord?"
"Louis, stop. My heart isn't- I'm not gay."
"I never said you were. You seem to genuinely like girls, too, can't for the life of me understand why but I don't get why you would deny liking guys. For fuck's sake, I've sucked you off, before!"
"What the hell!" He glanced around, his eyes fearful and Louis frowned when they widened. He knew who it was causing the expression before he turned and saw him. Mr Simon freaking Cowell. Of course. "I was really desperate, alright? I just needed... I just wanted a mouth and you had one, that's it. Don't bring that up, we said to never bring that up especially not in public."
Louis rolled his eyes and Liam let out a strangled groan, wishing he would try to understand. "No one's paying any attention to you, mate. Except your darling boss who has his claws too deep in you for your own good. Tell 'im that I cross my heart and yearn to die pinky promise that I will not pass you my gay. Alright? And you are free to keep dreaming of Zaynie then pretending you're some straight Chad dude bro. It's really none of my business. I used to fucking be like you, Liam. Free yourself. The only person stopping you from being comfortable and happy, even, is you. It's always been you."
"I'm... Gonna go enjoy my party. Excuse me." Liam slipped under the bar, immediately finding a girl to dance with and Louis sighed. He noticed Hazz moving towards the bar out of the corner of his eyes and placed a bottle of water in front of him, rolling his eyes when he heard a weak whine. Whether he complained or not, he already knew Harry wouldn't refuse him so he waited and sure enough, a reluctant sip was taken before Harry poked him with the bottom of the bottle.
"Lou? You okay?"
"I'm... Not sure. That's the problem with it."
"Mmm... With what?"
"Giving a fuck. It might not be the best feeling empty at all times but... It's better than caring, isn't it? Safer."
"Mmm... yeah, safer..." Louis glanced at him properly now, hearing the slur in his voice and sighed. While he was talking to Liam, he had clearly found himself another way to get drunk and Zayn was nowhere in sight to help him get home like usual.
"Shit. How the fuck are you going to get home... Dammit, Harry, dammit."
"Night's still young, baby, don't send me back there just yet! Don't wanna be alone with my thoughts..." Now, that, Louis could relate to. Except, rather than thoughts, it was more of a giant weight on his chest, pushing him further down into his bed, whether he tried to push back or not.
Harry's heart fluttered on its own accord when Louis grabbed his arm and he leaned into his shoulder, humming contentedly when Louis asked him if he wanted a ride home. A ride, Harry thought with a giggle that Louis didn't understand but smiled along with, nonetheless. If Louis was okay with lifting six feet of weird, Hazz certainly wasn't going to be the one to tell him no.
"You wanna carry me... Or... Give me a... Ride...?" Harry burst out laughing, managing to spit on his face and Louis grimaced. God, this boy was a bloody mess when drunk. If it were anyone else, he wouldn't even think about touching them alone but well, Harry was different and he loathed but was trying to accept that disturbing fact.
"I meant that I could get you home, dummy. Since Zayn's nowhere near here... Not that I blame him." He hated the existence of low self esteem. If not for that, Liam and Zayn would be dating like the fruity idiots they were. If he could, he would take it away and help as many people as possible accept themselves. As he felt the boy beside him cling to his shoulders, arms thrown around them and whine about needing to get as drunk as possible, there was no one he wished he could take it from more than Harry. After all, the need to get drunk every single day must have been caused by something.
"Lou, boo bear, m'tired... Carry me?"
"Boo bear? Ugh. I'll get Zayn to text your address. Let's get you into bed," he muttered with some worry in his voice, steadying himself when Harry leapt on his back without a care in the world, then giggled about Louis taking him to bed not too long afterwards.
Back at the club, meanwhile, Zayn had finally psyched himself up and entered. And there he was. Liam Payne. Liam Payne who he hadn't been able to fully get out of his head since they were teenagers. He had played so many beautiful scenarios between them in his head since he hashed out that painting months before but to his utter surprise, there he was, showing some girl a good time.
He watched in silence as she grabbed his neck and pulled him down to meet her lips, taking a moment to recover from shock. He was shattered but switched to acceptance and defeat so fast it gave him whiplash. How could he ever have thought something would happen between them? Why did he even give Liam the stupid painting when he clearly couldn't care less?! His mind was right. The feelings were one-sided, all along.
And then he was out of the club again, his hands struggling to light himself a spliff before he gave up and leaned against a wall, trying to block out the thoughts as they rushed in. Maybe doing some art would help. Or better yet, vandalism. That had scared Liam all those years ago and maybe Liam deserved to be hurt for being so fucking wonderful Zayn had carried about this yearning for him in his chest all those years.
"What the fuck could I possibly have done wrong... To fall in love with you?"
His mates were cheering but he ignored them all, managing to detach the girl from himself. Liam politely excused himself and left the dance floor, his eyes dancing over to his present on the other side of the room. He grabbed it and hid himself in the backroom, Zayn filling his every thought. It was only as he pressed it to his chest after a bout of uncontrollable crying that he finally admitted something to himself for the first time in his life.
"I'm... I really am one of them, aren't I?"
Awwwwwww okie kinda liked this 🥺😭