Dear Diary,
They weren't thrown off by how I dress.
They made me feel pretty.
I didn't get very many days of the week off from work, and when I did, I was content to sit at home and catch up on sleep and shows and anything I could get my hands on. Today, however, I had to get groceries, and I took the chance to dress my best. Working where I did meant I wasn't allowed to wear makeup, piercings, have dyed hair, or anything else that they would deem inappropriate. Outside of work, though, was a different story.
I had done my makeup lighter than my natural skin tone and set to work giving myself dark eyeshadow, contouring with black, and drawing a large spiderweb across my cheek, lines dipping into my ear and nose. I put in contacts that whited out everything but my pupil and swiped drippy black lipstick across my lips.
My outfit consisted of a red pencil skirt I had cut up to be a miniskirt, two pairs of ripped, black pantyhose pulled up to cover my legs. Then, I slipped on a cut-up white dress shirt, a bloodied vest, and my six-inch platform boots. The shoes made me almost six-foot-one, and I liked wearing them in public because men tended to get intimidated when I towered over them. I finished the look by slipped a ton of chains over my head and hairspraying my mohawk into place.
I glanced in the mirror, giving a little spin. Perfect.
My house was about a thirty-minute drive from Walmart, tucked away from most of civilization, but I enjoyed the drive, spending the time screaming along to music louder than necessary. Once I finally made it, I slipped a headphone in my ear and headed in, grabbing a push-cart and making a break for the chip section. It was Dorito time.
I hadn't been there very long when I heard a familiar voice squeak my name out questioningly. I turned at the sound and made eye contact with Toby who was standing near the end of the aisle and looking at me with wide eyes. I was seeing this boy everywhere, recently, huh?
Toby stuttered as I met his eyes, obviously trying to get something out but failing miserably as I gave him a soft smile. "Y-you-you-you're-re t-t-t-ta-tall," he squeaked as he began walking towards me.
"Grew in my sleep," I joked as I stepped towards him, meeting him halfway, my cart left to the side. Toby was about the same height as me without these shoes, so it must have been a shock to see me suddenly towering over him. "I can see over your head," I laughed as I looked over him dramatically before meeting his eyes.
"Are th-those yyy-your real ey-eyes-sss?"
I laughed at that, shaking my head. "No, Tobes, they're contacts." At the nickname, Toby's face went bright red, and he smacked his gloved hands over his cheeks, trying to hide it. "Sorry, I know it can freak people out, seeing what I look like outside of work."
Toby shook his head furiously. "No, no, n-no, no, y-you're really-y-y prett-tty."
It was my turn to turn red at the comment. That was not the normal compliments I would receive – no one had ever found me pretty while looking like this. "Even being six inches taller than you?"
Toby nodded, swallowing harshly. "Def-definate-nately."
I laughed at that and turned, striding back to my shopping cart and making a show of leaning on the handle of it, pretending not to notice as Toby's eyes shifted between my exposed chest and my face rapidly. "So, are the others with you today, or is it just you aga-"
I was cut off by the sound of someone at the end of the aisles. "Rodgers." I looked over to see Tim standing at the end of the aisle, having not noticed me yet. He was glaring at Toby as he strode over, and I slowly lifted myself standing as I watched him. Toby stuttered out apologies while Tim scolded him for walking off, claiming that he and Brian had been searching up and down the aisles for them. It wasn't until Toby had finally spit out that he had been talking to me that Tim finally took notice.
His eyes widened the slightest bit at the sight, but he covered it quickly. I hadn't been able to catch how tall he and Brian were when I met them last time, but with these shoes on, Tim and I were eye level, and it seemed to have caught him off guard.
"Well, good morning to you, too," I joked after he didn't make a move to talk.
"Holy shit." It was the only thing he could say as his eyes trailed over my form before crawling back to my face. "That's attractive." He spoke the words before he really thought about them, and I could tell because his eyes widened immediately after, and he turned away, hiding his face.
I giggled at that. "Do I need to do a spin or something so y'all can see it from every angle?"
Toby, not understanding that it had been a joke, nodded enthusiastically and grinned when I laughed at him. He cracked his neck and stepped forward towards me, standing incredibly close. "C-can-can I t-t-t-touch yyy-your neck-necklaces?"
Tim made a noise like he was going to tell the boy to back up and get out of my space, but stopped when I nodded at the boy. I pulled the jewelry from where they had ended up slipping into my shirt, and Toby flushed when he realized the rosary I was wearing had ended up between my tits, and I had to pull it out slowly.
Shaky fingers thumbed through the many chains I was wearing, mostly crosses and pentagrams. He seemed to take great interest in one particular necklace, a heavy silver axe on a thick silver chain. I had gotten it about a year ago but wore it today because it had reminded me of the boy; I remembered how he said he enjoyed axe-throwing. It was becoming fun to see the boy become all flustered, especially when his hand accidentally pressed against my chest a bit too hard as he reached for a specific necklace, apologies falling from his lips faster than he could catch them as he took a step or two back.
I laughed and rubbed my hand against the top of his hair. "It's okay, Tobes, I promise. No harm done."
I looked up to meet Tim's eyes as he stared at the scene in front of him, his hands holding a cheap flip phone. He had paused his texting to watch us, but when he saw me notice, he quickly turned away, grumbling to himself about how stupid Toby was acting in his eyes.
I went to ask who he was texting, but my question was answered as soon as I thought it as Brian rounded the corner, one hand stuffed into his hoodie pocket while the other snapped close his own flip phone. "Y'all have some old ass phones," I said, grinning as Tim rolled his eyes and Brian laughed.
Brian made a show of looking over me, and I felt my hand slip from Toby's head to his shoulder. Toby shuddered at the feeling, and I finally realized the sexual tension around the group. "I like the skirt," Brian said as he stepped around Tim towards me and Toby.
He was taller than me, I realized as I looked up a bit to meet his gaze. He was a good two inches above me, meaning he was about six-foot-three. I felt my breath get caught in my throat as he took in my face. He raised a hand like he was going to cup my face but paused and pushed his thumb against my cheek, effectively smudging my makeup. He hummed to himself and stepped away.
I took a shaky breath as I watched him step over to Tim, and I realized I was gripping Toby's shoulder like my life depended on it. I quickly pulled away, and he moved to stand beside me instead of partially in front. His fingers pressed lightly against my hand before deciding to not hold it, and I gave him a reassuring smile.
"So, what brings y'all to Walmart?"
Tim rolled his eyes. "Shopping, duh."
I laughed, and he seemed almost relieved to see that I didn't take the rudeness to heart. "Well, how much more do you have to get?"
"Why? Trying to stick around?" Brian's words had a teasing lilt to them, and a grin crawled across his face when I didn't object. "We're getting lunch after this if you want to join."
I nodded. "I'd love that, but I have to grab all my groceries first."
"We still have a few more things to grab if you want to split. Toby running off made us pause for a second."
Toby giggled at that, and I grabbed his hand with mine, holding it up to show Brian. "I can watch him, make sure he doesn't get in any trouble, since we're meeting up after, anyways."
A sly look crossed Brian's face, and he held out his phone. "Sure. Mind if I get your number? For finding you after, of course."
I let out a breath and took his phone from him while telling him how old the thing was. After I put my number in his phone and sent myself a text so I had his, we split. Toby followed me around like a lost puppy while we walked around, occasionally grabbing something for me so I wouldn't have to bend down. I made the mistake during the beginning of our trip to try and grab something from a lower shelf, and Toby fell over when my skirt rose a bit too high.
I also told Toby he could grab whatever he wanted and highly encouraged him to. He didn't grab a lot, just some Cheetos and a box of cosmic brownies. Later on, he grabbed a variety pack of cheesecake and informed me that 't-the-the old mmm-man rea-really-yyy likes chees-sss-secake.'
After he began to wander off a bit too much, I made him hold my hand while we walked so I could pull him closer when he began to drift away. The red covering his cheeks was a fun surprise to watch, his stutter growing even worse as I pulled him along.
Finally, after a good thirty minutes, we made our way out of the store, Brian texting me to tell Toby to bring me to their car. I knew red flags should have been going off in my head as they offered to drive me, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. First, though, Tim helped me put all my groceries in my car, and I was grateful I hadn't bought milk or anything. It would have spoiled by the time we got back.
Toby clutched the bag of things I had bought him close to his chest as he sat in the back seat beside Tim. Brian was driving, and Tim had given up shotgun for me, claiming it was the right thing to do for a guest. The two in the backseat had a small argument when Toby refused to show what he had gotten, Tim claiming he wanted to make sure Toby hadn't spent all my money, but I knew Toby was trying to keep the cheesecake out of sight so he could surprise him with it later.
I watched the fight fondly, already beginning to settle in with the group of men. I almost missed Brian's own fond smile as he watched me watch them, but I turned just in time to see him turning back and putting the car in reverse so we could leave.
They had an ice chest in the back since they knew they'd be out and about for the day, so Toby managed to store the cheesecake in that so it wouldn't melt which sent Tim into a tizzy, asking why Toby needed to keep whatever he had bought cooled and 'if you bought sushi again after the last time, I am not taking care of you.'
We ended up at a Hibachi-style restaurant where we sat in the dining area instead of the showroom. Toby was bouncing in his seat as he sat next to Brian, across from me, while I sat next to Tim. I was on the inside while he was on the out.
"So, come here often," Brian joked as the waitress walked away to get our drinks. I rolled my eyes and thumbed through the menu. I pulled my wallet from my purse and thumbed through my cash, trying to figure out how much I had left, when Brian made a disapproving noise. "What are you doing?"
I hummed and looked up before continuing counting. I had an insane amount of one-dollar bills from being a waitress. "I'm seeing what I can afford," I stated.
Tim's hand reached over and closed my wallet, pushing it away. "We're paying, doll," he said.
I went to disagree, wanting to pay for myself, but Brian cut me off before I could even speak. "We invited you, so, therefore, we will pay for you," he said matter-of-factly.
"I have money," I complained, holding up my wallet.
Brian chuckled while Tim spoke. "No one said you didn't."
I huffed and placed my wallet in my purse, rolling my eyes. "You don't have to pay for me, is all I'm saying. I'm a big girl. I can pay my own bills."
"Never said you couldn't," Tim spoke again, and I let out a teasing huff but let it slide, putting my wallet back in my purse.
"What if I wanted to buy the most expensive item on the menu," I questioned, trying to get an upper hand in this argument somehow.
Tim rolled his eyes, and Brian snickered to himself. Toby was seemingly in a trance as he washed the fish swim in a tank near us. "Then, get the most expensive item. It doesn't matter what you buy as long as we pay."
I let out a low groan and dropped my head back before sitting up properly again as the waitress delivered our drinks before walking away to give us a few moments after Brian ordered a few spring rolls for us to start with. "Why do you want to pay for me anyways? You've only met me once before while I was working. Toby's the only one who's seen me outside of that." And I had gotten in their car with them. My god, what was wrong with me?
Toby looked over at the mention of his name, and his eyes widened as the other two turned to look at him confused.
"Oh?" Brian voiced. "When did you two see each other outside of that?"
I turned to Toby, confused as well. "Did you not tell them?" Toby flushed at the attention placed on him and stuttered incoherently for a few moments, so I took over. "He came back to Waffle House at like midnight because he wanted waffles but the two of you were asleep, and we ended up going to the park and talking for a few hours. I thought he would have told y'all this morning or something."
Tim spoke up, his voice taking an almost parental tone. "What have we told you about going somewhere without telling us?"
"I-I jus-sss-st wanted waff-ffles, and it was-sss on-only a f-few minutes-sss away!"
Brian stayed quiet. He looked so pretty sitting there, a small smile on his face as he watched his friends bickering. He scratched lightly at his jaw, and my eyes followed the movements before trailing to his lips. They looked so soft, and I wondered if they were. I unconsciously licked my lips and glanced up, surprised to see him staring back at me. My eyes widened, and I glanced away before looking back, embarrassed. He tilted his head slightly before huffing a soft laugh and looking away, finally getting the other two to quiet down.
Tim huffed at being told to stop but slumped in his seat, playing with the straw in his glass of coke. The waitress came around again, dropping off the spring rolls and taking our orders. Tim almost jumped across the table when Toby said he wanted sushi, and I had to throw my arm out to stop him, the feeling of my arm across his chest surprising him so much that he fell back, staring at me with wide eyes. "Can't let you kill Tobes! Look at him!" I had exclaimed when he asked what I was doing. Toby gave him a cheeky grin but changed his order to a kind of fried rice and fried shrimp.
When she walked away, I finally asked the question that had been sitting on my tongue. "So, why can't Toby have sushi?"
Toby gave the other two a look as if warning them not to say anything, but Brian was the one to speak up. "The first time Toby ever ate sushi, he didn't realize it was fish until after he had eaten an entire five-pound pack of it that we had gotten from the store. He then threw up all over the bathroom and got so deliriously sick that he proclaimed his love for us because he thought it would be his dying words and then passed out for a good fifteen hours. If I remember correctly he said, 'This is it. I'm dead. I love you two so much, and I'll never know anyone better. Tell the others I love them but they were sometimes the worst, and give Sally a kiss on the forehead for me. I love you so much.' He was then so embarrassed about it when he woke up that he locked himself in the bathroom until Tim kicked the door in."
Toby covered his face with his hands and slammed his head onto the table as I laughed loudly, imagining his face as red as it had been earlier as he ran from the bed to the bathroom. "What- What did you even think it was," I asked through giggles.
Toby's response came muffled as he didn't move to answer. "I-I thought-thought it was-sss one o-of tho-sss-se weird-d dess-dess-desserts-sss that T-t-tim gets-sss. It-t-t was-sss real-really goo-ood."
My laughter got even louder as I hunched forward slightly, holding my stomach. "God, I love that so much," I giggled out.
The other two laughed with me, and Toby groaned into his hands at the sound. "Y-you guys-sss are the wor-worst."
I covered my mouth as I giggled. We delved into easy conversation after that, the topic being switched once I had gotten my laughs out. They told many stories, obviously trying to embarrass the others at some points as I learned about Brian getting kicked in the dick so hard by Toby that he refused to stand for two hours, Tim passing out face-first in pancakes one morning after not sleeping for a few days, and how Toby had one time wedged himself between a washing machine and dryer while chasing a stray raccoon that he had let into the house. He had been stuck for two hours because Brian and Tim had left to go do something, and no one else thought to check on him.
I watched Toby throw a forkful of rice at Tim at one point and then claim it had been a tic when Tim tried to jump across the table again. I had to stop him again, threatening to restrain him if they couldn't play nice to which he blushed so hard that he excused himself to the bathroom, leaving me and the other two laughing at his expression. Toby and I played footsie for a few minutes when we got bored, but he kicked a bit too hard, and I let out an 'ow' loud enough for the other two to shut down our game.
When the check came, Brian took it before I could even look at the price, and laughed when I whined about wanting to pitch in. The idea was quickly shut down again, and I huffed, crossing my arms childishly and grumbling to myself. I would make it up to them somehow, I just had to figure out how. They drove me back to my car, and we ended up sitting in the parked car for a few minutes as Toby whined about how he didn't want me to leave yet, the others having to reason with him that I had more of a life than just being around them.
Toby threw himself out of the car last second and gave me a bear hug the best he could for how tall I was at the moment and made me lean down a bit so he could give me a wet smooch to the side of my face. I laughed and wiped away the eyeliner that smudged his mouth after, and then we were finally parting. I could hear the other two scold him for possibly scaring me off when he got back into the car, and I waved them goodbye and they drove off.
They sure were something, alright.