"Let's break up."
"W-what?"
"I said...let's break up." Mark said with a sigh as he stared at Chaerin, his soon to be ex girlfriend. The back of his throat got itchy as he watched her smile fall in realisation of what she had just heard. Pulling on the hoodie that felt like a noose around his neck, he started to look around the landscape that the school rooftop was offering, unable to look back at her.
"Mark you're not even going away that long-"
"Chaerin please...don't make it harder for me than it already is." Mark said, landing his eyes on her again.
Her head hung low as she crossed her arms over her chest in attempts to comfort herself.
"I really do love you but....you already know how I feel about long distance. I'm not even sure when I'll come back to Seoul...or if I even will" Mark explained, stepping closer to her and slowly wrapping his arms around her body. The guilt was eating him up slowly. Breaking her heart just before midterms was not his original plan but things never worked out the way he wanted them to.
"I can't be selfish and make you wait for me" Mark sighed, placing his hand under her chin slightly to bring up her head to look at him in the eyes, while he stared down at her glassy pleading ones, silently begging him to stay by her side, and as much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn't.
And Chaerin knew that as well. She knew this was coming eventually. With Mark's family business booming in Canada he was surely going to move away sooner or later. She just never expected it to be on the day of their 4 year anniversary. She wasn't only parting with her long time boyfriend, she was now saying goodbye to her best friend, the person she went to when she was happy, sad, angry or excited and most of the times, he was the reason behind her emotions.
"I don't mind waiting" Chaerin said with a small voice, desperate to not lose the boy that she had loved more than anyone. And Mark knew that. He knew just how lucky he was to have even met a girl like Chaerin. Although he hadn't been present in the last few days when she needed him due to packing, he still knew her worth.
"I know you don't. That's why I'm telling you not to. Chaerin....I love you, so so much and you deserve someone who can be there for you. Someone who you can talk to every day, someone you can hug every day and someone that can just be there in person...I can't keep you from that" Mark said
"But-"
"Please Chaerin. The time difference is huge. I don't want to break up with you later over 'not being there for you' or 'not face timing you before bed'... I think we should just end it here" Mark said and after a few seconds of deep thought, Chaerin realised that Mark had already had up his mind and anything that she could say won't change it.
"Okay." she said, breathing out a shaky breath, letting herself free in his embrace for a bit longer as she tried to remember what he felt like.
"I'll still love you, just differently" he said and she nodded slowly.
"I'm gonna miss you" she said and he chuckled
"I'm gonna miss you too mochi" he said pinching her cheek, making her roll her eyes playfully before pulling away from the tight hug that seemed to be her only source of comfort.
"Have safe flight. Text me when you get there...and tell your parents I said hi" she smiled and he nodded with a brighter smile, happy they were ending on good terms
"You should come visit sometime" he said, biting the inside of his lip as he remembered the distance, and she chuckled, twiddling her thumbs.
"Yeah let me just win the lottery first" she said and he laughed dryly, nodding his head. Before a silence could settle in, Mark's phone rang. The loud noise pierced through the air, ripping their glances off each other.
"I gotta go" he said looking at the caller ID and putting the phone back into his jeans pocket.
"Yeah I should...get to class" Chaerin said, even though she knew she was going to run straight home afterwards.
"I'll call you later, make sure to eat all three meals okay?" Mark said, hugging her one last time, this one more rushed than the last. For a moment they looked into each others eyes and for a split second mark wanted to take back his actions, but he couldn't stop himself from leaning towards her and planting a soft kiss onto her lips. A short kiss, one that she didn't even have time to register in her head as their last kiss.
"Bye Mark" Chaerin said with a small smile, just below a whisper as Mark pulled away
"Bye Chae" he said, in the same tone, squeezing the sides of her arm reassuringly. He looked at her one more time before walking past her and towards the door of the rooftop, walking down the stairs and out of the school building.
Hugging her arms around her body as she heard his footsteps slowly cascading, she took in a deep breath. It was the middle of the school day, she still had so many classes to go through but she was tired, broken, frustrated.
After a long 20 minutes of thinking over everything that had happened, crying a few tears of acceptance, she decided to go down the stairs. Walking over to the hallways that were empty, she headed to her locker to grab her things before walking out of the school. She got the next bus home only to spend the whole night curled up in blankets, watching movies and eating ice cream while waiting for Mark to call her and tell her that he had reached his hometown.