I can't find my machete.
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You were sat in the center of your prized flowerbed; a proud smile resting on your face, a soft song flowing past your lips, and hair of soft (h/c) flowing smoothly in the cool breeze as you catered to each and every vividly colored flower looking up at you with tender expectations.
This had always been your favourite hobby.
Spending the mornings and late afternoons nurturing the greenery, rearranging the garden structure, and decorating the expanse with an assortment of natural beauty that you could very well find within the mountain region enclosing your home. And you do it with a surprising level of expertise that only well-versed florists and landscapers are capable of.
Because reveling in the arms of nature had always been your dream.
You thought that nothing could ever take ahold of your heart as much as gardening and flowers can. You had even settled with living in a secluded, wooded area just to be able to raise as many plants and flora as your sweet self could pull off.
But then out of nowhere, a man came by and completely changed your perspective - smashing your walls like a wrecking ball and tearing down all the barricades that you had unwittingly placed around yourself from the countless years of living in solitude.
He was much too perfect in every way that he puts your heart almost to an ever stop whenever he was around. From the reserved but gentle air that he exuded, the resolute look in his mesmerising green eyes, and the firm touch of his strong hands.
His chiseled features and god-like graces were pure art and one that most men could only dream of.
It was unfortunate that you were never meant for each other.
"I think I know who you really are now." You heard him say from behind you, his low and masculine voice breaking the stillness that you were previously basking in.
And the words he spoke sounded much too firm the more that they lingered in your ears that it caused a strange feeling of foreboding creeping up inside you that you tried to push down.
His tone hinted a rare sense of assuredness, as though he was ready to back you into a corner just to acquire the answers that he wanted to hear. And knowing his persistence well enough being that you had been 'acquaintances' for quite some time now, you decided to face him rather than run away.
You removed your dirty gloves and settled the dusty tools to the side, inwardly pulling a soft sigh that you could only wish would calm your fried nerves before standing up to address his confrontation.
You then spun around with a bounce in your heels and approached the man behind you with a signature smile that adorned your face like a flower to a painting. A smile that was so well rehearsed no one could tell that it was fake.
"What are you talking about, Ethan?" You asked, tilting your head slightly to the side as you came to a full stop a few feet in front of him. The air of innocence floating as you locked eyes with the tall young man.
"You already know well who I am... I'm (Y/N). And I'm the girl working in this garden."
"No..." He cuts you off. Once again with a distinct hint of seriousness and firmness in his tone. "You're not who you say you are..."
His striking green eyes caught yours as you tried to voice out an excuse and all of a sudden the words were caught up in your throat like a suffocating lump.
You felt your own heart pound loudly against your ribcage, and with each time that it jumps, the wave of guilt that you could not understand ripples stronger and heavier until just looking at him and his sparsely stern expression was pure torment.
But you still tried overcome it.
You narrowed your eyes in pretense, the adorable pleasantness that was a constant on your face dissipating for what seemed to you was only a split second before the forced but convincing smile returned to your small lips.
You were determined to play it off, to possibly change the subject, or convince him to think otherwise; whatever it takes to distract him from this confrontation. After all, you could not allow him to learn the truth in absolute fear that he will leave.
Ethan was kind, caring, and understanding; different from most men you knew, especially your father.
He understood your concerns and listened to your stories. He supported your ideas and shared his own without being forceful. And he made you laugh when you were feeling depressed, sometimes even without intending to.
His peculiar but warm nature that borders naivety was refreshing in the midst of self-important and controlling people that you often find yourself admiring all that is him. Wondering how he grew up to be such a kind man when he was constantly surrounded by corruption and greed.
He was an ideal friend and even more so an ideal husband that you felt truly agonized by the thought of letting him go. It was so painful that you feel like dying whenever the idea comes through.
You wanted to keep him with you even if you knew it was wrong, and if lying meant that you could get him to stay longer - even as just a confidant and a close friend - then you would do whatever it takes to drag out meeting the "real you" like he wanted to.
But it seems that he has already caught wind of the truth and is intent on confronting it.
Why did it have to be like this anyway?
Why did he have to be in love with someone else? And with your sister of all people?
They had been planning to finally settle down and start a family when your parents announced that he will be married off to the younger sibling of his lover instead; a person whom he had never even met before in his life.
Of course, Ethan felt strongly against the idea. And so did your sister. No couple would want anyone to get in the way of their relationship and the same rule obviously applied to them.
They had discussed the matter and its specifics for a while, and after a long deliberation process that revolved around putting a stop to your parents' questionable intentions, he agreed with your sister's suggestion to see you and ask you personally to reject the notion given that you were the actual heiress.
They figured that your words would carry weight enough to force your selfish father to reconsider.
You must admit that it was a good of a plan as any, and you honestly wanted to do the same at first. But then you finally met your future brother-in-law and your idiotic heart decided to abandon the plans you had made as soon as you met the gorgeous sea green of his eyes.
All of a sudden your world turned a hundred and eighty degrees.
He was the type of man that you wanted to marry. The kind of man that you wanted to tame and have for the rest of your life.
In his presence, you felt strange sense of protection and safety. In his calmness and reticence you recognized strength. And in his firm gaze and admirable physique you feel a strange glow of desire fill your heart in a way that has never occured before or ever will again.
So you pretended to be another person - that the real "(Y/N)" who owned the expanse was absent just to get the chance to have his time and keep him around for as you can stall.
You knew you had little chances of winning against your sister. And you did not want to steal Ethan from her either. All you wanted was to get to know him better and become a close a friend and companion. You just wanted to have him around until your heart mends enough to learn to let go.
But you failed.
"How long do you plan to keep this up?" Ethan asked as he took a step closer, his gaze never leaving your face as of searching for the answer that your lips were hesitating to provide.
He grasped at your shoulders firmly with his big hands and guided your position towards him in a way that he could look you in the eye.
"I've been here long enough. And you already know what I was here for. (Y/N).... Please let me--"
"I get it, Ethan." You say curtly, eyes snapping away from his handsome face and onto the grassy earth where an abundance of colorful flora exploded in countless directions.
It was these flowers that used to bring you so much excitement, especially during their first bloom in spring when the riot of colours put the rainbow itself to shame.
But now in the midst of a confrontation with the man you adored, their beaming yellow, pink, violet, and bluish smiles could not bring you any calm.
You fidgeted with the hem of your sleeves, your lips pressed in a tight line and breath heavy but controlled as you tried to distract yourself from bursting into tears. But you remained unsure about the extent that you could hold it in, especially now that you have to say the most painful part.
"You're not dumb so I can't continue lying to you. And I've kept you here long enough. It was selfish of me to demand that you stay so I'll let you go."
You then forced on the smile that you have practiced so well and looked up at the young man one last time.
"Go back to my sister, Ethan... I'll talk to dad."
You wanted to breakdown and cry. Or even possibly just dig the earth and die there. After all, the vile feeling that flooded your veins after your parting words has already poisoned your heart and you knew the pain would eventually kill you.
There was no point in delaying the agony.
You just hoped that you had made the right choice by letting him go. That you would be able to bring yourself to sleep in the coming nights know that he was no longer around.
Ethan fell silent as he looked at you, an expression of shock and confusion flying over his features as though he expected something much worse to happen. That you would behave like a villain from a movie and reject his request to leave.
The clouds rolling overhead even decided to get darker and lower, successfully covering the sun that once brightened up the multi-colored surroundings. It gave the atmosphere and dim and damp air that it was almost as though you would start cursing him at any moment. But you didn't.
Instead you took the pain like a graceful lady. You said and did nothing but lower your face to hide the tears welling up in your vibrant (e/c) eyes and turned your back to express your desire to end the conversation.
With your lips quivering and mellow voice sounding more strained than usual, you managed to reiterate one last time, "Go back to (S/N)... I'm sure she misses you a lot." Before calming your stiffened shoulders and walking back to your home.
You never looked back afterward and never saw him off as he left later in the evening. You decided that ending the friendship you've had with Ethan on a negative terms was one that you deserved and one that was more appropriate.
You had played him for a fool and betrayed your sister. Surely none of them would wish to see you attend their wedding once it finally takes place a few months later. And if you might be honest, it was better that way. You'd choose death over witnessing the man you love promise the rest of his life and future to someone else.
Now you can just focus on continuing. Or perhaps, finding another man to marry through the connections of your parents.
But as though a story book-like turn of events had taken place, something surprised you a couple of weeks after Ethan left to be reunited with his fiancée.
You were working on your favourite spot that day; a marble-crafted pavilion that overlooked a bluish valley and a jade lake. It was a place where you can marvel the breathtaking view of the misty forest in the day, and observe the multitude of firefly families dancing about with their glowing tails at night.
You wanted to perfect it for some reason. And you have kept yourself busy with it since the beginning of the day. Covering the sides with a family of vividly colored flowers, removing the weeds that peaked through the small cracks of the foundations, and polishing the golden divots and embellishments of the columns.
You were immersed in your task and humming cheerily along the soft wind when you were alerted by the sound of footsteps coming from the direction of the manor.
It broke through the silence of the chilly early morning air loud enough that you stopped what you were doing and snapped your eyes in the owner's direction with your hands clutching tightly on your sharpened garden shears.
Whoever it was, they certainly were not welcome and they certainly were rude to have disrupted your little project.
You were supposed to be alone and no family member has given you prior notice to indicate that they were visiting. You have no friends nor helpers as well, and so you were left with the notion that this individual was a trespasser.
You messed with the wrong person! You thought, getting ready to stab whoever it was on the throst as soon as they were within reach.
But you were caught in a pleasant surprise when the 'stranger' dipped his head down from the clutter of low hanging branches blocking the small pathway. The familiar bluish black hair and minty green irises that shone with an almost mystical light made you pause; unmindful enough that you were startled by your own tool as it slipped from your hand and dropped onto the ground.
The faint but ever so devilishly handsome smile playing at his lips became more pronounced the moment he locked gazes with you and as soon as you offered the timid smile that makes its way on your face whenever you were together, words flew past his lips as though he was on automatic.
"I knew I would find you somewhere around here."
Ethan?!
You shifted your heels to face him fully, slowly blinking and forehead knitting as confusion and bewilderment settled in.
You folded your arms across your chest as you continued to stare, tilting your head sideways in an innocent-looking gesture while you wondered whether or not you were hallucinating or seeing the real thing.
He never has a reason to visit you after all.
But as though Ethan took notice of the disbelief etched over your adorable features, one that he never realized he loved to see so much, he chuckled inwardly and proceeded to walk closer until he was near enough to be standing at the gazebo's flower-laden entrance.
"Your easy-going personality has always been a breath of fresh air." His voice sounded calm and welcoming despite his masculine tone. It was a pleasant sound that pulled your heart in different directions. One way away to keep a safe distance and one way closer wanting to hear more - exactly as how you remembered it.
You jumped as you confirmed the concreteness of the person in front of you, feeling your pulse shooting and heart rate spiking with each step that he took inside the marble pavilion.
"What are you doing here?" You asked, your frown somewhat dissipating but face remaining serious. "If it's to invite me to your wedding, I honestly think it would be best for all of us that I stay a couple hundred miles away instead."
Those were the only words he needed to hear to learn of how bitterly you still felt about the situation. About how you wanted to push the past as far back behind you as possible and forget everything.
A stern expression matching yours became evident on his face the moment your words sank fully in his mind, but he didn't say anything - he neither confirmed nor denied.
It was not his reason to come to you after all, and if he wanted to make you understand his purpose he knew better than to ride the waves of your anger.
Ethan moved closer and took your hands in his big ones, lacing his fingers tightly around yours as though something inside him refused to let you go. It was so sudden so warm that you felt flaming arrows shooting up your arms and through your heart.
Why did it always have to feel so amazing to be by his side?
It felt perfect and homely as though your hands were meant for each other. As though you were destined to always be so close together. But as dream-like and pleasant as it felt, it also struck you with a wave of fear and trepidation that made you feel like crying again.
It was too strong that you pulled away on instinct, determined to lose his touch and maintain the fortitude that you had spent the last few week building.
But Ethan held you back with a much firmer grip that you could not shrug off.
"Ugh... What are you doing?!" You whimper out, tugging your arms away to no avail while looking up at the young man who was now smiling warmly at you like you were the most heavenly thing he has ever laid eyes on.
It made your heart ache - both in anticipation and fear.
Just what exactly is he playing at? What exactly that he intend to do? What exactly does he want to happen?
You had just started the process of moving on and him suddenly showing up unannounced and touching you so boldly in a way that he never did in the first few weeks that you've been together was not very helpful in the recovery of your heart.
It was just recently that you had picked yourself up from the fall and the wound that you had acquired had not healed fully just yet. If Ethan continued whatever it was that he was doing, it would be no different from stepping on an injured toe.
"Let me go..." You begged, the happiness of seeing him now replaced by a pang in your heart that you did not wish to acknowledge.
But he shook his head in refusal. "I heard that you have a new fiancé."
"I haven't met the guy just yet." You tried loosening his grip once more.
"Do you want to?"
"That is not for me to decide, Ethan."
"Are you serious about marrying him?" He pressed on.
And it made you snap. You shot him a look. "Why do you care? What's it to you??"
Your last questions came louder and angrier than you had wanted and guilt was quick to take over as a look of hurt flashed ever so quickly over Ethan's face in response.
He released your hands almost as soon as the harsh words came past your lips. But just as you were about to apologize for your outburst, thinking that you had gone overboard with your rudeness, you felt his arms coil around you and drag your small frame against him in a tight hug.
Ethan pressed you against him; your ears against his well-built chest clearly hearing the pronounced thundering of his racing heart. And for some reason you started feeling your own matching its harmony.
"How was it possible to fall so hard in a matter of weeks?" He asked, voice strained as if he was in disbelief of his own words, but the tightening of his embrace insinuating full acceptance to it.
"I've known (S/N) longer. But I never missed her the way I missed you. I never realised how boring it was until I looked back on the fun I've had while staying here. And when I heard that you agreed to marry someone else.... I never felt more jealous and disappointed."
You breathed out deeply as a another whimper escaped your lips from his honey sweet confession.
It was more than you could ever wish for and the feeling that it brought was pleasantly debilitating - your heart melting and limbs trembling from the dream-like happiness that you were in.
You felt so weak that you gripped onto his shirt for support and buried your face against his chest - your fingers digging and wrinkling the soft fabric as you tried to locate the energy needed to respond without fainting.
"It's part of the family business, Ethan. If it's not you, then someone else has to."
Of course you said nothing but the truth, as harsh as it might sound, but Ethan showed no appreciation for it and proved his refusal by lowering his head and leaving a feathery soft kiss on the side of your mouth.
"As if I'd let another man touch you." He narrowed his eyes, looking quite upset for your quick surrender to your family's unreasonable whim.
His sudden actions and unexpected words caught you off guard. The warmth of his lips almost on yours and the lingering sensation of his breath sweeping momentarily against your skin almost making your heart leap out.
If you weren't nervous earlier, then you sure as hell were now.
But as though the look of your flushed and embarrassed face was too endearing for him to see, he chuckled with a big smile on his face and pressed you close again in a way that you could not see his expression and he could not witness yours.
"I noticed how different your are from your sister... So much more different that I never felt more like myself that when I'm with you... You listened to me. And you liked the things that I liked... So."
He stopped, breathed in, and raised a hand to caress the petal-like softness of your cheek, trailing his long fingers down the curves of your jaw until he could guide your face in his direction.
You hesitated to catch his eyes in fear that your heart just might explode, but Ethan moved ever so closely to keep your attention and smiled gently as you finally surrendered to his deep green irises.
He had always been an attractive man. And you were quite sure he has more than a handful of drooling ex-girlfriends desperate to get him back.
But he has never looked sexier and more handsome than he did at that moment; his masculine features more clearly defined and perfectly balanced out by the warmth of his smile.
You knew he saw it, your admiration and your awe. The shine in your eyes reflected something that you could not begin to determine, but whatever it was seemed to have provided Ethan the confirmation he was searching for.
He leaned down and kissed your lips, capturing your mouth and caressing your tongue tenderly with his for almost only a few seconds before pulling away - As though his daring actions were only aimed to teach him of your sugar sweet taste. To make himself desire for something more and drive his timid heart into taking an action that he should have done a long time ago.
You groaned softly at the quick lack of connection but you did not utter a complaint. You knew he wanted to say something more important and possibly more valuable than your first kiss and as though Ethan felt the anticipation through your silence, he bent down and whispered in your ears only loud enough for you to hear.
"Marry me, (Y/N). Now."