(Warning: This chapter will contain violent trauma(Abuse), & depression which will include pills/drugs, cutting, smoking, and drinking. This chapter might be a bit dark for some readers, Please read at your own risk. I will put a heads-up warning when that part is coming up within that chapter. Thank you all for waiting.)
"You."
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My body was just there. My mind was blank. My vision was blurry. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't snap out of it. I felt my body heat up a little bit but also feeling myself sweating a bit. I... I didn't- Wha-
"Hey... Hey! Hey! Hey (Y/N)?!"
After being called a couple of times, I was able to come back into reality. "Wha-?" I noticed Namjoon's hand was on my shoulder, it seemed like he was the one shaking me and then I looked at Lisa, she was as worried as Namjoon. I really had no idea what just happened. One moment I was fine and then another I was just out of it.
I cough lightly, bringing myself back into reality. "I'm sorry, I guess I spaced out a bit without realizing-"
"Are you sure (Y/N)? You looked like you saw a ghost or something." Lisa said. Namjoon told the waiter to bring water in the meantime. I must've just imagined shit. I know trying to figure out some information on my own boyfriend could be stressful but I didn't think it would have this much of an effect. How stupid of me... getting with someone I barely knew anything about and just now I'm trying to figure at least something about him in order for me to help him... what a joke... yet I didn't think it was a red flag when we first got together and he didn't like talking about his family nor his problems and before he became the guy he is now...
The waiter came back with a glass of water with ice and hand it to me. "Thank you," I said with a light smile before grabbing it. After I was able to settle down and clear my head a bit that's when we continued with our conversation. "Alright...let's get into what we came here for" Namjoon said with a straight and serious tone. Before Lisa could say anything, she took a sip of her coffee before looking down at the cup. "To be quite honest... I don't think there's much to say. I know me and Yoongi are related yes, but at the end of the day... he doesn't talk about his problems or just anything in general. I don't blame you for wanting to know about your boyfriends' problems or his family or just things that you could help him with but... all I can say is... Yoongi didn't have much of a loving family."
I was a bit shocked. Yoongi never talked about his family to me. I mean, of course, there had to be a reason for it. "Can you tell me a bit more about his family? If you can and want of course." Lisa nodded before looking at us.
"Yoongi comes from a rich family, well both our families are rich and have a strong connection but Yoongi's family treated him horribly. When we were little and our parents had their reunion, we would hang out for most of the time. Sometimes play tag, sometimes play hide and seek but the moment we left... I could see that he didn't want me to leave..."
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Flashback
(These will be one of the few flashbacks of Yoongi's childhood/past) Disclaimer: In this flashback, there will be abuse, if you do not feel comfortable reading it, please skip this part. I will make sure to put 3 dots that will separate the flashback from the current time. Again this is just a story.
Both Yoongi and Lisa were 8 years old
"Please Lisa, I don't want you to leave, please! A-Ask your parents if you could sleepover for the night! J-Just for tonight!..." As little Yoongi's voice started to slightly crack, almost as if he was going to cry.
"I'm sorry Yoongi but you know I can't... I have a dance performance tomorrow morning. But maybe you guys can come to see me and maybe I can sleepover! How about that?" little Lisa said with a soft smile, still a bit scared worried about him. "Well then, I have to go. Mom and dad are waiting for me outside..."
"Min Yoongi! Come here now!" Yoongi's mom yelled from her room.
Hearing the small running noise going down the stairs, Lisa arrived down to the living room where her parents were outside the door and Yoongi's father was at the door. "Well then, please get home safely the three of you. We can't wait to see Lisa perform tomorrow." Yoongi's Father said with a soft happy tone. As Lisa's family was about to head to their car, Lisa noticed she forgot her backpack in Yoongi's room. "Uncle, may I go get my backpack? I think I forgot it in Yoongi's room. looking up at her uncle, saying it with a shy tone.
"Of course my child, go ahead." He opened the door wider for her to enter back inside the house. Little Lisa ran up the big stairs one last time. Before entering his room, she knocks. "Yoongi?" No answer. She decided to open the door only to find out he's not in his room. In the corner of his bed, there was Lisa's pastel pink backpack. She grabbed it before exiting the room. As she was closing the room, Lisa was able to hear screaming and someone crying from pain. She quietly walked her way towards where the noise was coming from, there was the door slightly open, taking a small peek into it, there she saw the horror.
There was glass broken on the floor, a small type of furnitures were on the floor as well. Yoongi who was on the floor looks as if he was holding his stomach from the pain. He had bruises and scratch marks on his arms it seemed. "You worthless of a child! You're no good in anything! I only kept you caused he told me to, if not I would've gotten rid of you a long time ago!" Lisa saw her aunt, torturing Yoongi. Lisa finally understood why he wanted her to stay the night. After finding out her true colors, she thought her uncle was the same if not even worse. As fear took over her body, all she could do is run and that's what she did. Lisa ran away from the room and towards her parent. Since then, Lisa has never returned to that house...
End of Flashback
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"We were just kids... and even if I told my parents about it, they wouldn't have done anything about it since he wasn't their child. When I found out, there wasn't much I could've done. We were just kids... Yoongi never deserved what he went through." Lisa looked down as she tried to hold back her tears. "I always hold in this guilt, I wish I could've done something but I couldn't as my parents send me to go study in Europe and when I came back I knew it was too late because Yoongi wasn't the same no more..." She said with a broken tone.
Hearing all of this made me want to cry yet it boiled my blood. I understood now why he never talked about his family or anything about his past. Yet I don't blame him at all. It was just so much for him.
"You shouldn't blame yourself..." Namjoon spoke. "I understand that he was going through so much abuse in his own home but again... there was nothing you could've done... if you did or didn't he still would have had the trauma of the abuse." He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Please don't put all the blame on yourself." With that, Lisa couldn't hold on to her tears any longer, she went for a hug and began crying. He crested her hair gently as he had her in his arms.
All I could do was just look at them with hurt and sadness in my eyes. The fact that Lisa had to witness his pain and suffrage hurt me the most. I finally was able to understand some parts of his behavior into why he's so aggressive and mean most of the time. I still love him, even before all of his behavior began. I know what he's done to me and other people was wrong and trying to help him may not be the best option but I must help him.
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Timeskip
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It was already the evening, the sun was setting when we exited the place. We didn't think we were going to be there for a long time but the information that Lisa provided us, It could give us an idea of what we could do next. We said our goodbyes and decided to keep each other notified in case of anything else comes up.
"What now..." Namjoon said as he looked at me. "I don't even know... I feel like I should go see him but even so... I don't want to deal with his aggression."I said as my fingers go through my hair, feeling confused and frustrated
"It's up to you, Just know you wouldn't be alone... I would be there in the house and I'm sure the guys are still in the house with him too..." saying with a calming tone.
I sigh. "If I do end up going I should tell Momo and Mark about it. I don't want them to worry, especially knowing that I'll be heading back to your guys' place-" Namjoon cut me off.
"Listen, I know they're your friends but at the end of the day, you decide what you think it's right. They're going to worry regardless. The moment you step into Yoongi's life and our life, they already knew that we would be bad but things are different. We want to help him and I know the guys are worried about Yoongi as well, so you decide!"
Namjoon was right, I couldn't always worry and think about them. Things are changing and we want to know more about him in order to help him get better. I sigh one last time before giving Namjoon my final answer. "alright, let's go." and with that, we went back towards his car.
Min Yoongi POV
Warning: This part contains self-harm & drug use, please read at your own risk.
I could feel the room spinning after taking a molly. I felt the relaxation throughout my body but of course, my traumas never leave. No matter how much I tried to make myself high or drunk, in the end it always comes back.
I sat on the corner of my bed just looking at the window, I didn't notice it became nighttime so quickly. Sighing, I got up and headed my way to the bathroom. As I turn on the water from the sink to wash my face, I took a look at my broken mirror. Almost as broken as me. Once I was done just looking at my reflection in the broken mirror, I headed back to lay down in my bed. I just stared at the ceiling, 'will things ever get better? Is there even hope for me?...for us?...'
I laugh lightly. "Look at me, the baddest bitch of them all... is really nothing more than a weakling... yeah..." I felt small tears rolling down the side of my cheek. "I'm sorry y/n... I try to be this tough person in front of everyone and yet I was still able to hurt you... Fuck-" I couldn't hold in my pain and my tears no longer. I silently cried in the room. If only (Y/N) never got with me in the first place, she/he/they wouldn't have to be dealing with so much..." As my pain started to consume me, there were still pieces of mirror that I shattered on the floor. At this point, I wasn't even thinking straight anymore. The molly had finally faded and all that was there was my pain and suffering in me. Without a second thought, I grabbed the big piece of mirror and took it back to my bed.
'I'm sorry (Y/N)... I'm really sorry... You're just better off without me...' was my last thought as I pierced the sharp piece of the mirror onto my wrist and sliced it across my wrist. I felt my wrist heating up from the blood that was coming out. I laid back down, staring once again at the ceiling what I would think would be the last time. "Goodbye..." as I whispered one last time.
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Narrator POV
The rest of Yoongis' friends were in the living room, mainly just smoking but even they were worried about Min Yoongi. "I'm worried about hyung... I've never seen him act like that before..." Jungkook said as he looked down before turning off his cigarette.
"Do you think it was because of what happened between him and (Y/N)?" Jimin said with a bit of an unsettling tone.
"Who knows... but even so, it's not really our business to butt in on their relationship. Don't get me wrong, they are both in the wrong. (Y/N) should've not flirted with us and Yoongi should've not acted like that either towards her." J-hope said as he took a sip of his beer, almost as if he didn't even want to continue drinking.
"You have a point, but do you really think we should've let it happened? I mean think about it... (Y/N) has always been so kind despite how he treated her... how we've treated her as well. (Y/N) has dealt with Yoongi for so long... but we never knew why. I still never understood why things got the way they became..." Jin said. Sighing, he grabbed his hair out of frustration. "Yet, we never cared to asked before... we were all just focused on us having fun that we never talked about anyone's problems. Maybe it was because we were always together and we lived together... M-Maybe we all thought we couldn't have any problems..." Jins' voice began to crack as he began to tear up. "We see each other like family and I can't see one of us being gone..."
Taehyung, who was sitting next to Jin, decided to hug him. "Don't think like that Hyung... we'll stay together... I know we will. We just need to know what's going on and how can we help." His soft deep voice helped Jin relax a bit.
"We should go and tell him that he's not alone. We have each other." Jimin said with a small smile. The rest of the boys agreed and headed upstairs to Yoongi's room. They all arrived outside of Yoongi's room, Jungkook who was the closest to the door, knocked on his door first.
No answer.
"Maybe he's sleeping? Perhaps we should leave him alone." Taehyung said. "No! we must tell him that we're here for him. He can go to sleep right after." J-hope said with determination on his face. Jungkook and Jimin nodded, agreeing with J-hope.
Jungkook opened only for them to find the horror they never expected to see.
Back to (Y/N) & Namjoon
As Y/N and Namjoon headed back towards the boys' hangout, Namjoon receives a call meanwhile he was driving. "Jungkook is calling, Do you want me to put it on speaker?" (Y/N) said. "No, it's fine, hand it over please." (Y/N) answered it for him before handing it over to him.
"Hello-" Namjoon was taken back by the younger one's voice as he sounded panicked and as if he's been crying.
"Hyung! Please hurry! Yoongi- I- We"
"Hey Hey! calm down! tell me what happened? What happened to Yoongi? Where is he?"
"He's not responding! He cut his wrist and he's bleeding a lot! Please Namjoon come here!" He let himself just cry all out. Namjoon could hear in the background, the members screaming and commanding each other.
"Yoongi! Please stay with us! Namjoon is on his way!" Jimin said.
"I'm trying my best to stop it before it spreads more, Jin bring me warm water and Tae bring the first aid! Hurry!" J-hope said.
"Calm down Jungkook, please don't panic... we'll be there in a hurry. Please just listen to your hyungs, if they need something please help them out. Just hang on." and with that, Namjoon ended up the call and stepped on it.
"What happened!"(Y/N) said, looking at Namjoon worried especially since he heard it was something about Yoongi. "Yoongi just cut open his own wrist, and by the sound of it, it was pretty deep and serious." (Y/N) couldn't believe what Namjoon just said. She/he/they needed to be strong. This was a serious situation and the last thing they need is someone to stress them out of this situation.
When arriving, Namjoon honk, notifying the members that we were outside. (Y/N) exited the car as quickly before Namjoon could've turned off his car. Jungkook came out running to the front of the house. "(Y/N)!" Jungkook yelled. "Where's Yoongi?" placing their hands on his shoulders "I-In his room- Please help my hyungs!" Letting Jungkook go, (Y/N) ran inside and towards his room.
"(Y/N)! Help!" J-hope yelled as he just had a piece of wet cloth on Yoongi's wrist from preventing it from bleeding. He had all the types of equipment but was scared of letting go. (Y/N) ran her/his/their next to her partner and looked at J-hope. "Ok, listen to me. I'm going to place my hand on the wrist and hold it for a bit and you clean the cloth. alright?" He nodded and listened to what (Y/N) said. "Jimin I need you to give me the gauze pad and roll with the elastic bandage that's in the first aid." J-hope came back with the wet cloth warm and clean and started to clean up the edges where it seemed that blood was running down and the dry-ish blood as well. Then Jimin began passing (Y/N) the gauze pad and roll first. (Y/N) removed her/his/their hand and placed the pad first before beginning to wrap the thin layer of the roll to keep it in place. Later wrapping them both with the elastic bandage, tightly well enough. Not too tight of course.
"That's as much we can do..." (Y/N) placed her/his/their two fingers on the side of Yoongi's neck, there was still a pulse. "He's alright for now..." The members sigh out of relief. "why didn't one of you guys called the paramedics!?" (Y/N) yelled at them, causing them to startle.
"W-we didn't know. We weren't thinking straight and we panicked- a-and-" Jhope cut off Jungkook as he began to cry, bringing him into a hug. "We were more worried that we were going to lose him, we didn't know when he did this so we just went for it and tried the best we could..." Jhope said as he hugged the young maknae tighter.
(Y/N) felt a bit bad for yelling at them, despite everything they actually tried and save Yoongi's life. "You guys should go rest... I'll watch over him, in case he wakes up..."
"Are you sure (Y/N)? What if when he wakes up he hurts you again?" Namjoon said as he wasn't fawn of the idea. "I'm sure..." as (Y/N) began cresting Yoongi's cheek. All the boys were hesitant and worried about leaving them both alone but there wasn't much they could've said that would change (Y/N)'s mind. "Alright then. Call us in case of anything. We'll be in the living room." Namjoon said as all the other boys began walking out of the room, including him.
The room was alone with only (Y/N) and Yoongi in the room. She/he/they looked at their partner who was pale and laying there in his bed, (Y/N) couldn't help but feel sorry for him. The fact her lover decided to try and commit suicide without hesitation really hurt her/him/them. But she/he/they couldn't blame him, after knowing a small portion of his past, she/he/they understood why he never talked about his childhood. Being bullied in school and being abused in his own home must've been like hell. (Y/N) laid down next to Yoongi, placing her head and hand on his shoulder.
'I just wish you could trust me when I say I'm going to be by your side no matter what..' (Y/N) said to herself, closing her eyes but still being awake in case of anything.
After a couple of hours, (Y/N) was already done cleaning Yoongi's room when suddenly he began to wake up slowly. (Y/N) sat on the corner of the bed just in case. Yoongi began to lightly grunt with pain since he wasn't fully conscious of his surroundings and of who was there. He tried sitting up but couldn't until (Y/N) went to his side and helped him sat up. "Hey, you have to take it easy, you just woke up." Yoongi was startled to hear (Y/N)'s voice, especially her/him/them being here. "w-wha...when?" He said as he was confused. "Jungkook called Namjoon when we were on the way here and told him what happened."
"Oh..." Yoongi couldn't look at (Y/N) as he was disappointed at himself, knowing that (Y/N) was probably thinking the worse of him, thinking he was a weakling, just like others thought of him as well.
Before saying anything, (Y/N) hugged him tightly, "Yoongi...I was so worried...I thought I was going to lose you..." she/he/they said as if they were about to begin crying. "You're wrong..." Yoongi spoke with numbness causing (Y/N) to pull away from the hug and looked at him straight in his eyes. "Lying? LYING!? Yoongi, Everyone was worried! When the boys saw you in the state you were in, they were scared! Terrified even! Poor Jungkook was crying of fear because he did not want to lose his hyung! You think I'm fucking lying!? They even called us to help them! And you have the FUCKING audacity to say 'I'M LYING!?' They were scared... I was scared.. we didn't want to lose you..." but before (Y/N) could continue, she/he/they stopped and decided it wasn't worth the argument. "I'm sorry... you just woke up... I'll bring you some food, you haven't eaten in a while I bet." (Y/N) stood up but before she/he/they could've talked away, Yoongi grabbed her/him/them by the wrist. "P-please don't leave..." Yoongi whispered, still not being able to face her/him/them. (Y/N) was a bit surprised by his sudden action, since he's never acted like that. "stay with me please..." After a could of silent seconds, (Y/N) sat on the side of the bed but the second she/he/they sat down, Yoongi hugged her/him/them. "I'm so sorry...I'm sorry for everything I've done! You've stayed by my side despite all the shit I've caused you. And the fact you've even saved my life... I'm so sorry..." Yoongi began to cry as he buried his face on her/his/their shoulder. "Yoongi..." as (Y/N) places both her/his/their hands on his cheek and bringing his face facing her/him/them. "Remember, I told you that I told you I was going to stay by your side no matter what... I love you Min Yoongi... I really do..." Yoongi couldn't contain his emotions, he went in for a soft kiss.
The soft kiss then became passionate, they pulled away as they needed to catch their breaths. "We don't need to take it further if you don't want to... I don't want you to feel pressured into anything-" (Y/N) cut him off. "It's okay. I want to..." as she/he/they went for another kiss but this time rougher. Before anything else could've happened, there was a knock at the door. Both (Y/N) and Yoongi pulled away quickly. "Y-Yes?" (Y/N) said as the knock startled her/him/them. It was Jin, who walked inside. "You're awake!" Once the boys heard he was awake, they all dashed inside and jumped towards him.
"I was so worried! Please don't do stupid shit like that Yoongi!" Taehyung said as he was hugging from the side. Jungkook was crying, hugged his hyung from the opposite side of Taehyung. Everyone else was on top of the bed with somewhat tears in their eyes. Happy that their friend was still alive. Namjoon looked at (Y/N) who seemed to be looking at them softly, happily knowing that everyone from his friend group actually cared and loved him. Then it hit him. "Yoongi- uhm... did we interrupt something by any chance?" The boys stopped and all eyes were on Yoongi now, (Y/N) only looked away, trying not to laugh.
"To be honest, yes. We were actually going to-" before Yoongi could finish his sentence, Jin dash towards Jungkook and covered his ears. "AYE! THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!" (lol we know he's no child NO MORE but since he's the youngest I wanted to make it a bit funny) "Were going to do what? hmm?" Jimin said with a mischievous smile while the other members laughed. "Don't be so nosey!" Jhope said, slapping his shoulder. "Well then! We should go! sorry for interrupting!" The boys got the hint and dashed out to the door. Namjoon who was the last one at the door, before exiting, looked at both of them. "Take it easy okay. You had a rough day... but it's good to know you're alive." smiling before exiting.
"He's right, you should rest more. Your body is still healing. I'll bring some snacks how about it?" as (Y/N) got up, Yoongi immediately got up as well and hugged (Y/N) behind. "Why have snacks when I can just have you instead?" he said with a very husky voice.
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(I'll make sure to start the heat part at the beginning of the next chapter!! Just a small tease ;))