Josephine/ this chapter may contain some tw./ enjoy reading <3 / these chapters i just listen the sour album so your welcome to do so:)
I'm late on my goddamn period, this is normal though right? Nothing to worry about... right. I've been expecting to get it...like It's normal to miss it and Hero and I always use protection so I don't need to worry about anything,
Oh my god Josephine where did pregnancy come into this? I'm just overreacting and freaking myself out. Besides the fact I threw up all day yesterday and all day today and I am not telling Hero. I might of got food poisoning or a stomach bug, it's most likely not anything major at all and I'm just making myself worked up.
"Baby?" I hear Hero yell from the living room as I'm in the bathroom. I flush the toilet and I rush out into the living room. "Sorry," I say and he holds his arms out and I cuddle into his arms.
I start gagging, shit, I need to throw up. I hold my hand to my mouth, "O-one second." I say and run to bathroom not even looking back at his face. I rush into the bathroom and bend down in front of the toilet "Shit." I say and then I turn around to Hero right there. "Baby, are you okay?" he asks. I'm not telling him about my period being late or about me throwing these pasts days because he will think the worst. "I'm fine. I think I ate something weird or something." I stutter. Shit.
He holds his arms out and I flush the toilet then grab his hands, "I want you to rest." he says pulling me towards the bed. I showered and I'm already in my pajamas anyways so I mind as well lay down and see what happens. I lay down and he tucks me in and covering me with blankets and kisses my forehead. "Feel better baby, I restart going to work tomorrow morning so please rest, I'll be in bed later but I'll be in the living room if you need me." It's already seven pm so I mind as well just go to sleep. "Thank you. I love you." I say and he starts walking through the doorway leaving the door cracked, "I love you. "He says walking out and I try to fall asleep,
It's now about 5am and I turn over to see Hero passed next to me. I gently scoot off the bed without waking him and throw on one of his hoodies with his slides and walk out of the bedroom leaving the door cracked. I've wanted to do this for the past week but I tried to convince myself that I'm overreacting and I shouldn't stress myself out but I need too. I need to buy this to calm myself down and let myself relax knowing it won't come back positive. There is no possible way it would.
I grab my purse hanging on the hook and open the front door silently and walk out into the hallway of the penthouse building then close the door gently. I rush down the stairs not using the elevator and run outside. The sun will be rising soon but it's still dark. I look over to the parking garage and see Hero's black audi r8 wishing I could drive it to the corner store down the street instead of walking in the chilly london weather. I don't have the keys so I'm fine with walking. I put the hood up on the hoodie and walk down the street as fast as I can to the corner store.
Once I get to the corner store I walk in and warm air hits me quickly and I have never been so thankful. "Hello." The women at the register says and I nod and quickly go down to the aisles and find the women's section. Here we are.
The pregnancy tests.
I hate that I'm even doing this, and hiding it from Hero. God knows what he would do if he found out I was doing this but I'm really doing this to calm myself down from my dramatic and crazy thoughts.
I grab three different brands of tests to make sure just in case...to be safe.
I walk up to the register quickly to check out. "Is this all?" she asks as I am looking in my purse. "Yes, please."
She hands me the bag of tests and I pay her quickly and walk out of the store and quickly pack into the penthouse apartments.
Once I make it to the door and I quietly turn it and shut it. I hang my purse back up and walk back to Hero's bedroom door and the door is still cracked but he's laying on his stomach. I place his slides back against the dresser and then go into the bathroom and silently shut the door and lock it just in case.
I open all the tests, I go to the bathroom and use all three of them then place them upside down on the counter as I sit on the closed toilet as I wait for the alarm to go off on my phone.
I rest my arms up on my knees and place my face in my palms. I've never been so stressed out. There's no way I can be pregnant, we aren't ready for this and Hero will flip out, I don't even want to know what will happen if I was pregnant but I know I'm not..I'm not pregnant..just this will make me less anxious- the alarm went off. "Calm down." I whisper quietly to myself as I sit up rubbing my cheeks. I lean against the counter placing my hand on one of the flipped over test, taking deep breaths before I quickly pick it up and flip it over to two lines.
No.
This isn't true.
No.
I'm not pregnant.
I quickly rush and lift up the other pregnancy test, positive.
Fuck. I feel my cheeks starting to heat up. I place a free hand over my mouth to hide the crying and the screams I just want to let out. I lift up the third test and it's positive. I hold the test in my hand, as I lean against the door, and sink down against it to the floor with my hand covering my mouth and my other hand holding the test.
I can't tell Hero, this can't be real.
I need to tell him soon but I can't, I just can't. I wrap the three pregnancy tests in the wrappers and wipe my tears. I throw them in the garbage and cover it with toilet paper and shut the light off and get back in bed. Kissing Hero's shoulder right before I rest my head down on the pillow.
I feel squirming next to me when I turn over to look at the clock to it being 6;30 and Hero getting up off the bed. "Morning, baby." he says walking over to me and sitting down by my legs and running his hand up and down my legs."Morning." I fake my smile.
"How are you feeling? Do you need me to stay here instead of going to work?"
"I'm feeling better, I think I just needed some rest. And no, you've missed many days of work because of me, I'll be fine here." I smile. I hate this feeling, the feeling of guilt inside of me that I'm hiding something huge from him.
He stands up and goes to the closet and begins changing his boxers and places on his work pants and starts buttoning his shirt. "Are you sure you'll be okay here?" He says gelling his hair i the mirror above his dresser. "Yes, I promise." I say covering myself up more with the blanket as the room is feeling colder. He turns around to look at me, "I love you."
"I love you too." I say and he smiles before placing his shoes on and tying them. "I'm gonna use the bathroom then I'll be leaving." he says walking over to me kissing my forehead before going into the bathroom and shutting the door with a big grin on his face.
I get anxious knowing what's in the garbage in there, then I relax once I hear the toilet flush then the sink running then I hear something drop on the floor until the bathroom door barges open and I sit up so quickly like I never have before to Hero's face red holding a pregnancy test. "What the fuck is this Jo?" he shouts. The veins popping out in his neck and forehead.
I quickly get off the bed placing my hands in front of me, "I can explain, please-" I begin.
He walks closer to me, "You're fucking pregnant? This is why you were hiding being sick from me wasn't it? I went to throw away the goddamn soap because it was empty to find a unusual fucking looking stick thing sticking out from toilet paper wrapped the fuck around it!" he grits and tears start running down my face. "I bought the tests this morning because I was paranoid! I thought it couldn't be true because we always, always use protection so I don't know how I would of been pregnant but I was so stressed out I needed too! I didn't know they were gonna come back positive! Hero you have to believe me!" I cry.
"This is why you keep mentioning kids? Because you wanted me to get you pregnant! You're such a-" he begins to say. "Don't call me names please! I didn't want to get pregnant Hero! It's too early to have children for us! I would never do this on purpose!" I say holding my hands around the back of my neck pacing back and forth. He throws the test across the room and it hits the window on the opposite side of the room. "Fuck!"
"I've missed my period so I was paranoid! You wouldn't understand this is so stressful for me-" I begin.
"Stressful for you? You basically made me get you pregnant without me even knowing! Is this some type of sick joke to you?" he shouts.
"I would never do this on purpose! Never! Why won't you believe me!" I cry falling down on my knees leaning against the bed. Pain.
I feel like I'm being stabbed in the chest 10000 times by the person I love the most in world. Obviously if Hero loved me, he would believe me. I wanted kids but never, ever this early! Maybe in six years tops, he must not love me as much as he says he does.
He hurting me worse as he's never hurt me before and I'm sure he doesn't feel bad one bit.
"Get out." Hero says and I look up at him.
"What?"
"I said get out." he says walking out of the bathroom storming past me and into the hallway of the kitchen and dining room and I wipe my tears getting up and following him as he rushes around grabbing his briefcase. "Hero!" I shout.
"Josephine, you better be the fuck gone by the time I get back and if you're here I swear Jo, I swear!" he says opening the penthouse door and slamming it shut.
I drop to the floor, screaming and crying.
*
"Boarding flight to los angeles?" The lady says to me as I pull my suitcase to the plane entrance. "Yes," I hand her my ticket sniffling my sobs. "All set." she says and I nod strolling onto the plane.
It's a last minute flight back home, I haven't told Josh yet but he will understand me, he always does and always will.
I sit down in my seat putting my headphones and my hood up. I packed all the clothes I bought but left all the clothes that he bought me there on his bed, I don't want them.
I start playing my music, to calm me down.
It's been a couple hours, I'm still listening to music until it pauses and I look at an incoming call from Hero.
What the hell, he's spamming me with text messages?
"Josephine, come back."
"I didn't mean anything I said!"
"I love you so fucking much please don't let this end this way we can fix it."
"Come back please."
"I can't do this without you, I need you."
"I didn't mean to push you away."
"I'm not ready, we aren't ready for this child Josephine you don't understand."
"I didn't want you to actually leave."
"I don't know where you're staying in los angeles please tell me!"
All these pitty messages, after he said all that terrible shit to me, he expects me to forgive him after this? This is unforgivable! I can never ever come back from this.
Hero
It rings, and rings, then voicemail.
Fuck!!
I'm pacing around my penthouse with my hand in my hair, about to pull it out.
She won't answer my calls or texts, I've called her 51 times. All the texts say delivered, until I go to send another one.
"I love you so much Jo, I'm such a fucking idiot!"
It doesn't say delivered, she blocked me...she fucking blocked me.
I drop to the floor, letting guilt and fear overcome me as I pushed the only person I've loved in my life away from me.
Josephine
I knock on the apartment door, I'm not sure why but I feel weak, defeated.
"Yes-" Josh says but stops. "Jo?" he says when he takes off my sunglasses to my eyes puffy, tears still streaming down them. "Hi." my voice cracks and he pulls me into the tighest hug into the apartment.
I lay down on couch as he goes to my room and unpacks all of my stuff, then he goes into the kitchen and makes hot green tea for both of us, even though its really hot here. I sit up still crying and he sits next to me, rubbing my back. "Jo, talk to me."
I shake my head. If I speak, I feel as if I will cry.
"It's only me, did he hurt you?" he says rubbing my shoulder and I nod and drop my head down into my palms. "I'm pregnant." I manage to say.
"What?" Josh says and I look up at him,
I tell Josh everything, every single thing Hero said because his words have never left my mind. I showed him the texts that I got before I blocked Hero, I know he is probably still texting me but I won't be able to receive them. I don't ever want to be involved with him. Ever. Again.
"I don't want to ever speak to him, ever again, Josh." I say as I'm laying on his chest as he's caressing my shoulder.
"You won't have too. He fucked up by letting you go and don't worry Jo, we got this. We can do this together and we don't need him." He says and I sit up and he sits up and I just hug him, and we stay like this for what feels like an hour. I ended up falling asleep on the couch, Josh carried me to my bed and set my down and covered me until I knew I could not sleep alone without my best friend tonight. "Josh," I say and he turns around.
"Please stay, I can't sleep alone." I say and he nods, already in his pajamas laying down next to me as I try to fall asleep but I keep waking up every, single, hour.
Josh's POV
2 weeks later.
Jo has finally slept for over an hour in the past two weeks, she's barely eaten anything and only drinking water. She refuses to eat, she can't sleep. She just lays and bed and cries. We've been to the doctors twice. The baby is still nearly growing but it's healthy right now. She's four weeks along in her pregnancy and I promised her I will be here for her every step of the way.
I crack Jo's door closed as I was making sure she was asleep as I go in the kitchen to cook myself some chicken and hopefully Jo because she's slightly getting better, not much at all but she's starting to get more than 45 minutes of sleep. She needs it.
As I begin to get the chicken out a random number calls on my phone, of course I answer it because it could be someone important. "Hello?" I say leaning against the counter.
"Josh? Is this you?" I hear on the other line a british accent which sounds oddly familiar.
"Yup going to hang up now-" I begin about to hang up. "No, No, No!" Hero shouts and I place the phone speaker.
"What do you possibly want!" I whisper shout into the phone not to wake Jo up. "She hasn't eaten, or barely slept because of you! She doesn't need you in her life anymore so why the fuck are calling me Hero!" I say.
"I need to talk to her! I know I fucked up but I need her! I've been trying to reach her but it seems her phone is off! Let me talk to her! Let me know where you guys are I need to see her Josh!" He shouts into the phone. "She got a new phone one, and two you don't need to be speaking to her and you will not be knowing where we are. Me and Jo got this, we don't need you. Fuck off and leave us alone! You already fucked her life up enough you don't need to be fucking it up more. She loved and trusted you and you neglected that and you lost her and that's on you!" I say and he sounds like he's choking on the other line. "I think we're done here." I say and hang up.
******************
Surprise mothafuckers.
Sike, decided to update early and I know you guys will hate me for this but please, trust the process I have a plan for this...just wait. Lolz. But you should comment and vote <3.
Much Love, A♡