Giovanni in the MM.
Madison
Later that day
"Hey mom." I spoke, walking into my mom's house as I flipped my hat over my shoulder.
"Hey, baby."
"Oh, look at you." She dragged, looking at my hair and I couldn't help but to smile as she admired my new weave.
"I like that, baby. That's really pretty."
"What's pretty?" I heard my dad's deep voice speak up as I looked up at him, walking into the living room.
"Hi, daddy." I smiled wide as he bent down to kiss my cheek.
"What's up, babygirl?"
"Oh, your hair?"
"It looks beautiful as always, looking just like your mama." He complimented us both, making my mom smile wide.
"Where that nigga at?" He then went on asking, referring to Gi.
"He's home, he isn't feeling well today.." I trailed off, realizing I'd been gone long enough. I needed to get home so I could take care of my big baby.
I could already hear his complaining.
"Oh okay."
"Well I'm about to go fix your mama car, holla if y'all need me." He went on saying before he walked out of the front door and I slowly looked over to my mom who was looking directly at me now.
"What?" I asked in confusion while she looked at me with a smile and squinted eyes.
"Is there something you came over to tell me?" She asked suspiciously and I looked down at my hands, feeling completely seen.
"Hm.." I trailed off.
"Well, I'm not really sure yet. I haven't taken the-" I started but stopped and she lit up as if she'd already knew what I was going to say.
"Is it what I'm thinking it is?" She went on asking and I sighed deeply, getting myself together so I could explain myself correctly.
"If you're thinking of a pregnancy test.."
"..then yes." I blurted out, making her gasp loudly.
"You're pregnant?!"
"I'm not sure yet." I spoke quickly, trying to calm her down while I sat there scared out of my mind, holding this bag in my hand.
I'd been prepared for this so long that now that it was finally a possibly of it actually happening, I was freaked out.
"Well baby, what makes you think that you're pregnant? I mean, do you feel pregnant?" She asked, just trying to get more information.
"Trust me, a woman knows.."
"Yeah." I nodded in agreement, considering it was always in the back of my mind but I paid it no mind really.
"But I'm not completely sure, considering I've never been pregnant before." I expressed, looking down at my hands.
"I just know I've been so sick lately and then I missed my period."
"Mhm." She eyed me, nodding her head and now that I was speaking on things out loud, I was beginning to see that this was probably real.
I was most likely pregnant.
"But I honestly don't know what to do or how to feel, mom."
"I mean, I've always wanted to be a mom. I've always wanted to have babies with Giovanni." I admitted to her, telling her things that she's already known and we've talked about plenty of times.
"But I don't want to be pregnant and bringing a baby into this world, if it's going to be a broken family." I ended up blurting out my concerns and she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
"Broken family?"
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Giovanni doesn't want you to get pregnant? That's not what the hell I heard." She went on, rolling her neck but I waved that off completely.
That wasn't what I was talking about at all.
"Mom, that's not what I mean.." I trailed off, looking away from her again.
"I'm saying, I don't want to bring a baby into toxicity."
"If I have a baby, I want him or her to be welcomed into a whole family."
"I want him or her to have a mom and dad and grandparents that love them dearly."
"Both grand-moms." I clarified and she looked at me with a scowl on her face.
"So what are saying Madison?"
"That's what this is about?" She tooted her lips up.
"You want to welcome that woman into the life of your potential child, after she called you all types of names and singled you out because of your skin color?" She spoke sternly to me and I sat there trying to hold it all together.
All I wanted was completion and peace but I guess no one else saw it like that.
"So what, honey?"
"You think that everything is going to be okay and she going to welcome a potential dark-skinned baby with opened arms?"
"After she's talked so negatively about you for seven whole years?"
"After I whipped that woman's ass while she screamed out racist shit." She went on spitting to me and I sat there completely torn,
"Madison, no." She spoke seriously.
"I'm sorry but I do not stand behind you on this and if this is true.." She pointed to the pregnancy test that I was now holding in my hands.
"I would and will never allow that woman around my grandchild."
"She is not welcome into this house, into my life or my grandchild's." She spat and I could hear the seriousness in her voice.
"And if all of this is true.." She pointed again.
"If you are pregnant and allow that woman around y'all's child, I'm sure neither your father or Giovanni will be happy with it."
"I've told you this before and I'll tell you again, I don't approve."
"What she said, she can't take it back. Apology or no apology."
"You're my child." She spat and I poked my lips out, feeling the water works coming.
I didn't even want to cry right now and I usually wouldn't but things just seemed so hard. I was in a hard position but no one cared, everybody was so hung up on the past.
No one would see things my way.
"Don't cry, honey." She placed her hand on top of mine and I took a deep breath, getting myself together again.
"I understand what you want but I think for now, it's best if you don't allow that woman to hurt you any more or potentially hurt a baby."
"It isn't worth it and you deserve happiness."
"Not the drama that she could easily bring." She expressed, running her hands over my knuckles and I finally nodded in understanding.
She was obviously right considering both her and Gi were saying the same things.
I couldn't put my potential future family in jeopardy, especially if an innocent baby is involved. I wanted a certain family dynamic but I guess it just wasn't worth the stress.
"I understand." I admitted while she gave me an empathetic look.
"I know it's hard but somethings you just have to do and sacrifice, especially if another little black baby is coming into this world."
"He/she will already have enough to deal with, you won't want them dealing with it from their own family members."
"That hurts worse." She explained and I nodded in agreement.
"Now go ahead and take that test so we can know what's going on. It's really important right now." She went on saying to me and I nodded slowly standing to my feet.
Here's goes nothing.
-
An hour later
Driving home as the sun was beginning to set for the day, tears rolled down my face as I thought about the results from the test. I had such mixed emotions right now, I was so happy about the results but I was also sad because now I had huge decisions to make.
Snatching me away from my thoughts, my phone rang loudly and I looked down at it while it sat in the cup holder. I debated ignoring it at the moment until I realized it was Gi calling.
"Hello." I spoke softly into the phone, instantly answering for him.
"What's gon' baby?"
"Where you at?" He went on asking and I wiped my face as I pulled up to a red light.
"I just left my mom's house, I'll be home in a minute."
"I have something to tell you." I went on telling him and he instantly FaceTimed me, hearing the tone of my voice.
"Answer for me, mamí."
"I want to see your face." He expressed to me and I did as he said, answering the FaceTime.
As his face appeared on the screen, his eyes were low and it looked as if he was sitting in a cloud of smoke.
"Gi, what is going on?" I asked, trying to focus on both him and the road while he smirked nonchalantly.
"Ain't shit."
"You look pretty." He went on saying, admiring my hair as he got closer to the camera.
"Thank you, babe." I smiled small, he'd just changed my whole mood like he always does.
"You're welcome, mamí. You know I love that long shit." He trailed off, still looking hard into the camera as if he was trying to examine my hair.
"Yeah, hurry up and get yo' pretty ass home so I can pull on that shit. I love that." He kept going and I smiled wide, letting him blow my head up.
"Shush." I told him as he chuckled to himself before the line went quiet.
"Whatchu' had to tell me though?" He went on asking and I glanced down, looking over his face as I took a deep breath.
I wasn't scared to tell him but I was just scared for the future. Future family issues. Future family drama. I didn't want any of that, I just wanted happiness.
"Hm?" He pressed, once he realized that I was taking forever to answer him.
"Tell me, babygirl."
"What's up?" He kept asking and I lifted the camera higher so I could look him in his eyes.
"I'm pregnant, Gi."
*
Thoughts?
Concerns?