[POV change] [Y/N pov]
I hear a knock on the door of my bedroom. "Come one in," I call out. Hobi walks in, carrying a suitcase in his left arm and a bag of turtle-shaped bread in the other. "What's all these?" I ask.
Hobi sighs and kneels by the side of my bed. "Y/N, I know you have hid your true feelings for so long, but it's time to face the truth. You are a Homosexual lesbian woman."
Huh???? I start to ask him what he's saying but he places a bony finger on my lips, shushing me. For someone who dances and exercises so much, he sure has skinny fingers.
"You don't need to explain yourself, I understand. However, you will never be able to find a girlfriend while living with 7 men. You need to spread your wings and be free! So, I'm evicting you."
"Wait wha—"
"Y/N! I enjoyed spending time dancing with you, but it is now time to embark on a new journey. The journey to find the WAP! I wish you good luck on your quest!" He lunges towards me and plucks me off of my bed, bridal style.
"Bon voyage, Y/N-ah!" He throws me out of the open window onto the street. As I crash on the air mattress that he must've set outside for me to land on, I hear my suitcase and bread bag land nearby.
Omo otteokhae!!! What will I do now?? I am lost in the streets all alone during a pandemic!! And they all think I'm a Homosexual! How will I marry Jungffkook??I begin to cry.
I walk down the empty streets of Seoul, munching on a crumb of sourdough bread. Hobi didn't pack all 69 loaves that Seojfimnfgin was making, so I just got the loaves that spell "yolo." Eating carbs makes me happy enough to stop crying. Those yeasty bundles give me the serotonin boost I need to start using my legs again.
As I trudge past closed stores, I hear a rustle coming from behind me. I turn my head. Nothing there. Continuing down the sidewalk, I see a flash of pink out of the corner of my eye.
I'm kind of scared! Jungkook oppar is not here with his voluminous muscles to protect me! What if something happens to me in such a large city??? I turn around to walk faster when a half- naked man pops out of an alleyway.
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" I screech.
"Woah woah woah alrighty there luv! I won' hurt ya lassie!" He bows and tips his pilgrim hat at me. I blink.
"Rememba me luv? The name's Harry Styles! I was your kidnappa!"
Oh my god I totally forgot about that. I was so engrossed with the Bangtan Boys that I forgot that my mother sold me to One Direction to fund her meth addiction! But what did my former captor want from me???
"Whatya doin' on the streets of Seoul darlin'?" Harry Styles inquires.
"I got kicked out of my house," I sniff. "The Bangtan Boys wanted me to find some WAP."
"Wet arse pussay? What couldja possibly need that fo??"
"They think I'm a Homosexual."
"Well are ya?"
"No, I'm a homiesexual. I just love my friends <3."
He scratches the brim of his pilgrim hat. "Well how about ya come ova to my wa'a'melone farm? You can eat some fresh wa'a'melones at an undisclosed secret location!"
That sounds a little shady, but I'd rather be re-kidnapped than spend my days on the streets of Seoul. I let the skinny white man take my arm, and we disappeared off into the night.
[time skip]
~two weeks later~
I take another bite out of my watermelon as the five British men stare at me unwaveringly. The red juice dribbles from the corner of my mouth, and I spit out a spattoon of seeds into the special, watermelon shaped seed spitting bowl. The fruit is very very juicy, is what I have learned after eating only watermelon and watermelon products for the last two weeks straight.
"Howya likin' the wa'a'melones, my luv?" the blonde one (Niall) asks. I have trouble naming them because they all look the same. Silly white people!
"They're really great! You can tell that you don't use pesticides! Organic is the way to go."
"That's right luv! This w'a'melone farm is one day goin' to be the biggest producer in the world, even bigger than China!"
"This is tasty, but do you think that you could make some mayonnaise eggs? They're my new favorite dish."
"Mayonnaise eggs?? What kind of uncultured cuisine is that?" Louis exclaims. "The best I can do is smoked wa'a'melone ham."
Watermelon ham? I think. What in the vegan bs is that?
"Will it taste like watermelon still?" I ask.
"A wa'a'melone made into wa'a'melone ham having the most wa'a'meloney taste is the best pawt of wa'a'melone ham!" Larry— wait, Liam! — states. "The audacitae of this bitch!"
Audacitae... tae... Taehyung. I get a little bit sad thinking about him and his quirky lil paintings. But they kicked me out! Why should I care about them in any way shape or form >:(. The OneD's are much better at taking care of me this time around (even though they only feed me watermelone). But I still miss Soekjin's meals, Yonngish's scented Juuls, Hobi's dancing, Namjon's big brain intelligence, Jimin's pickup lines, Taehyung's paintings, and Junhgkkook's amazing, unforgettable, beautiful, plump toes. Will I ever get to meet them again?