<3 Month Time Skip>
(Natalia's POV)
I was coming home from my training with Kakashi, and I noticed that there weren't many people around in the district. I discreetly made my way over to the Nakano shrine where I knew the clan gathered for their meetings.
When I arrived, I shrouded my chakra and observed close by, as many of the clansmen entered the meeting place. I spotted Auntie Miko and Uncle Fugaku outside watching everyone.
I overheard Miko mutter something about Itachi not being there yet, which I knew was obviously because he was either spying on them nearby or had a separate mission. What kind of confused me though, was that she also said that Shisui hadn't arrived either.
But then I realized why.
Every inch of my body went stiff as fear crept up my entire being.
'No.'
Slightly snapping out of my fear, I teleported away to the nearest area of the woods where no one could see me.
I stood wide eyed for a few seconds processing what was about to happen.
'No. No. No. Please.. just no."
Tears instantly filled my eyes as I bolted in the direction of the spot where Itachi, Shisui and I always went to relax, where the cliff overlooking the Naka River is located.
'Shisui, I can't lose you yet. I can't lose my big brother.'
I stopped in my tracks once I neared the area. I shrouded my chakra and slowly approached the clearing and hid behind a tree.
The first thing I saw was him. His right eye gone, and blood trailing down his cheek. It was clear he barely managed to escape Danzo and his anbu men.
I observed and listened carefully, as I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't interfere. But...I didn't even get a goodbye...
"It seems we can't prevent the Uchiha coup d'etat." Shisui spoke. "And if civil war erupts in the Leaf, the other villages will invade for sure. True war will break out. When I tried to stop all this with my Kotoamatsukami, Danzo stole my right eye... that man doesn't trust me at all. He intends to protect the village his way, no matter what it takes or how it looks. I suspect he'll come after my left eye, so I'll give it to you before he has a chance."
As he started bringing his hand up to take out his eye, I ran out towards him shouting, "WAIT!"
I couldn't help it, I needed my goodbye.
(Third POV)
The two Uchiha instantly froze and their eyes widened when they heard her voice.
Shisui felt a sudden surge of guilt and anguish when he watched Natalia run towards him with tears streaming down her face.
His face drastically shifted from having a calm expression to a saddened one. Tears had never filled his eyes quicker.
He couldn't even remember the last time he cried, and here, it took one glance at the little girl whom he loves so deeply as his own sister, to break him.
Itachi was almost shocked to see Shisui's face. He could tell it was pure sorrow and guilt that had spread across his face, as tears threatened to escape the one eye he had left.
"Shisui I need a proper goodbye." Natalia weeped. Neither of them had ever seen her like this. They couldn't tell which was more prominent on her facade: sadness, fear...or guilt.
Shisui struggled to speak for a moment from the lump that had formed in his throat, "you knew this was going to happen didn't you? I can see the guilt on your face, Natalia. Don't you dare blame yourself for any of this."
She walked closer to him and looked up at him with such sorrowful eyes, "how could I not blame myself? My big brother is doing something that I've known for years would happen. How can I say that I care for you, when I don't do anything to save you?" She attempted to swallow the lump in her throat as she continued, "Shisui... I don't want to lose you." She shook her head and whimpered, "I can't lose my big brother."
She immediately began crying to the point where she had to take gasps of air.
"I'm..." Shisui's voice trailed off as his tears finally escaped, "I'm so sorry Natalia." He knelt down to her height and instantaneously pulled her into a tight hug. "You shouldn't be here to see this. You know I have to do this, if you knew it was going to happen, then you must know you can't stop this. I'm so so sorry."
At this point, Natalia was uncontrollably bawling into his shoulder.
All Itachi could do was watch the scene unfold. He had never seen Shisui in this state. He could tell how much love they had for each other in that moment. He never expected Natalia to witness something like this. She shouldn't see her older brother do this. He didn't even know what Shisui was going to do until she started speaking of losing him.
Itachi just didn't know what he was supposed to do. His best friend, practically his brother as well, was about to... die?
'I can't believe this. What is he thinking?' Itachi thought worriedly.
You could barely understand her as she spoke between cries, "I know... but it...hurts..so much. Shisui." She lifted her head from his shoulder, looked him in the eye as she sniffled, "I love you so much big brother. I always will." She shut her eyes and practically screeched, "I promise. And I promise... your death won't be in vain.. I promise."
Shisui pulled her back into the embrace and actually started sobbing as well, "I love you so much my little sister...I'm so sorry...for the pain I'm causing you, and the pain you'll have to endure later as well. I promise I'll be watching over you. You never forget that. Your big brother's always here for you no matter what, you got that?"
She nodded against his shoulder, "yea. I do."
Shisui slightly pulled away from the hug and gave her a kiss on the forehead. This only caused more tears to cascade down her cheeks.
Natalia shook her head, "no. I don't know how... I don't know how to live without you. Shisui I'm scared." She weeped.
Shisui attempted to give her a reassuring smile to the best of his ability, "I promise you'll be okay without me. I'm not the only big brother you have. And you have so many people that love you Natalia. They will always be there for you as well. I told you, I'll always watch over you." He wiped as many of her tears from her cheeks as possible, "now, before I give my left eye to Itachi, I need to see your smile one more time."
She nodded, "okay but it's hard to right now."
"I know, but please." He begged.
She sniffled and rubbed her eyes, attempting to alleviate the speed of the tears leaving her eyes.
She mustered the best smile she could give him.
It was the most depressing smile Itachi had ever witnessed, it actually hurt him to see her smile. Unbeknownst to him, a tear trailed from his eyes as well.
Shisui softly chuckled, "beautiful. Thank you."
Natalia looked down to the ground as more tears began coming out. She hated crying, she had never cried this much in her life.
She gave Shisui one last hug and gave him a warm kiss on the cheek, "I'm going to miss you. So much."
Shisui sadly nodded and placed a last kiss on her forehead.
He stood back up and readied himself. He took in a deep breath and exhaled, calming himself down from all the tears.
He looked at Itachi and placed his hand on his shoulder, "you're the only one I can count on for this, my best friend."
He then proceeded to take out his left eye and handed it to Itachi.
Shisui continued, "protect Natalia, the village, and the Uchiha name." Itachi's crow collected his eye, and dispersed in the air.
"Alright I accept it, and I will, I promise. I won't let you down." Itachi replied softly.
Shisui smiled, "I know you won't. If I die, many things will change...I've left a note."
He started walking backwards towards the edge of the cliff, making Itachi and Natalia's eyes widen wearily. Neither of them were ready to accept this fate bestowed upon them.
"Don't try to stop me." Shisui said as he got to the edge of the cliff.
He smiled and leaned backwards, falling to his death.
Natalia's body moved on its own. "SHISUI NO!" She tried to run after him and tripped near the edge making her nearly slip off the cliff.
Itachi caught her and held her back just in time.
She tried to release herself from his grasp, "No! No! Let me go!" She screeched.
"Come back Shisui!! Come back!" She bellowed, tears streaming down her face once again. Gasping for air, she continued crying and finally stopped trying to move away from Itachi's grasp.
Once he felt it was safe to do so, Itachi let her go.
Her body went limp and she fell to the floor on her knees. She just stared down at the river where his body disappeared, from a jutsu he cast on himself so no one would discover his body.
She cried and cried, until all of a sudden she stopped.
Her sharingan activated with her usual 2 tomoe, instantly transforming into a 3 tomoe sharingan, then into a new form.
"Tachi?" She brought up her fingers to her eyes wiping what she knew weren't tears. She held out her fingers in front of her face and saw blood.
Her eyes widened as she gasped, "what? But I wasn't...I wasn't supposed to. Only.." she looked up at Itachi, "only you were supposed to."
She instantly laid eyes on his newly awakened ones.
They both unlocked the next stage of the Uchiha's visual prowess, the Mangekyou Sharingan.
Snapping out of his own shock, Itachi replied to her, "Natalia, of course you awakened it as well. We both just experienced the same pain of..losing him."
He then sat himself in front of her blocking her view of the river, "stop looking. It's only making it worse for you."
(Natalia's POV)
I just couldn't help but look. I think a part of me was trying to find him and another was hoping it didn't really happen. But he was right, it was making the pain worse, because I couldn't bring myself to accept what had happened.
I actually lost him, and so did Itachi.
Tears filled my eyes as I looked at him. He looked so broken, yet so composed at the same time.
Once a tear fell, I realized that it looked like I was crying tears of blood, which for some reason caused me to panic a bit. I tried to wipe the blood away, but every time I glanced at my hands, it seemed like more and more blood came out.
Tachi grabbed my wrists, making me stop, "Natalia. Calm down. You're okay, just breathe and I'll wipe the blood off." I weakly nodded.
As he did what he said, he sighed, "compose yourself, because we are going to need to come up with a plan, and I need you to put that sharp mind of yours to work. I've taught you that by remaining composed, you have the ability to find a solution to anything, even amidst a battle."
I nodded, "I know, but I'm not as strong as you Tachi. How do you do that so easily?"
He stopped cleaning the blood, and looked straight into my eyes, "Don't say you're not strong enough. Never, ever say that. You are. Do you remember what Jiraiya told you your first day here, about the burden being placed on you?" I slowly nodded. "He said that if you weren't capable of dealing with the burden, it would have never been placed on you. I believe this burden needed to be placed on someone who had the strongest heart and mind. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you have them."
He then put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me towards him, as he pressed his forehead against mine and said, "you will get through this. I have complete faith in you that you won't succumb to hatred nor your pain. You must move past these things and learn from them. As Shisui said, you have many that love and care for you, and they won't ever leave your side as long as you don't leave theirs. I will always be there for you as well, because I do think of you as my little sister. I promised Shisui I'd protect you and I intend to keep that promise." He released me as he leaned back to his original position.
I sat for a moment thinking to myself.
He was absolutely right. I can get through this, because I know Shisui's still here with me in my heart and is watching over me. I have so many people who care for me, that I care for as well. This pain I'm experiencing is dreadful, but I started thinking about my loved ones who will go through pain as well. I have to be there for them no matter what, because I don't know how I would be right now if Itachi wasn't here with me. It helps so much to have someone there for you.
I have to be there for Itachi too. After all, Shisui was right, he wasn't my only big brother. Itachi was my second, and now the only living one I have.
I looked back up to Itachi. I threw myself onto him and hugged him as I told him, "you're right, Tachi. And thank you so much. We will get through this, together. I'll always be there for you too even if there is a great distance between us, because you're my second big brother and I love you."
Itachi released the hug and gave me a warm small smile, "I love you too." I gave him a small smile as well. I think we were incapable of normal smiles at this point.
"Alright, are you okay enough to come up with a plan? Because you know I need to report this to the elders at my meeting with them." He asked me.
I nodded, and remembered something.
"Our family isn't supposed to find out yet. Not until tomorrow." I stated.
He raised a brow, "TBK?" I nodded.
He then surprisingly suggested, "I think you should stay with Kakashi tonight."
I thought for a moment. I actually do want to see him, he's the only other person who'd understand what I'm going through.
I nodded, "yea, I think that's best."
"But what we need to figure out, is how you're going to return home tomorrow when the family finds out because it will be completely obvious you're not yourself. In addition to that, what are you going to tell Kakashi, and what do I tell the elders and my parents about you?"
I shut my eyes to strategize. I slowly inhaled through my nose and exhaled through my mouth, becoming completely composed, as he taught me.
Itachi waited patiently, as he realized what I was doing.
After a few more moments, my eyes snapped open. He looked at me expectantly.
"Okay, there are three Uchiha clan members who are going to visit you at home tomorrow. They're going to confront you about Shisui. I can't tell you any more than that, but I'll arrive on time to hear what they say to you. I'm sure that hearing it from them is bound to make me breakdown again naturally, so when that happens, the family will assume it was my first time hearing about it. After that, I'll go straight to my room to further deal with my emotions alone, and you can meet me there in secret. We'll discuss the rest of our plan, because this meeting with the elders is a serious one, and we will need to strategize even further about something..." I trailed off but shook off the thoughts from my mind.
I continued, "I'm going to tell Kakashi the truth." Itachi's eyes widened, but I clarified, "that I witnessed Shisui.. you know. I won't mention you in it. I'll also tell him that he has to keep this under wraps and never tell a soul because of TBK, which he'll understand. Kakashi is the one person I need to tell the truth about this to, because he'll understand exactly what I'm going through, and I obviously can't tell you why."
He nodded, "okay your plan sounds good. Now, about the elders, I am only going to tell them that he committed suicide." I flinched at that word, and he noticed, "sorry." I shook my head, and he continued, "I don't want more conflict to arise, so I'll keep it a secret that I know about Danzo. I won't mention a thing about you either, but I'm positive the Hokage will ask me about you in secret because he knows how close you and Shisui were. I believe he should know as well, since he's one of the ones aware of your burden and he can help with keeping it a secret that you were there from Danzo."
"Yes, I think he should know too, I want him to. Just be careful and make sure Danzo doesn't listen in on your conversation, because it will cause way too many problems." I warned.
"Alright." He replied. "And my parents? They'll question why you aren't home tonight."
"Yea, I already came up with that. Tell them my training with Kakashi turned into a practice mission. He's taking me out camping tonight so I know how it will be like to travel during a real mission."
He looked a little impressed, "that's a good idea. I told you, once you compose yourself, you can come up with anything." I nodded agreeing.
He sighed, "okay, I need to go see the elders."
As he started getting up, I stopped him, "wait." He looked at me questionably.
I leaned forwards and placed a kiss on his forehead, "Tachi, I'm so sorry in advance." Tears filled my eyes once again, as I remembered what's about to happen.
He slightly tilted his head, "is this about the meeting?"
"It's about what happens after the meeting. You're going to be ordered to complete a mission...the worst one possible." I shouldn't have said that, but I was just so worried for him.
He placed his hand on my cheek, "Natalia, stop thinking of the future for just tonight. We will discuss this tomorrow. For now, go to Kakashi's and let it all out there. Don't keep it in. I trust he'll care for you, as you said he understands what you're going through. You and I deal with emotions differently, so I think it will break you if you keep it all to yourself. So for once, stop focusing on others and focus on yourself. At least just for tonight, okay?"
I sadly nodded and his hand left my cheek as he stood up. I got up as well, and he waited for me to teleport to Kakashi before he left. I gave him one last hug and body flickered to Kakashi's apartment.
As I was about to knock on his door, I hesitated. I had to talk about what just happened. When I tell Kakashi, will it cause his memories to flood his mind again? 'Should I put him through this, just for me?' I asked myself.
The door flew open, breaking me out of my worried thoughts. I looked up to see Kakashi with a confused expression.
"I sensed your chakra, is something wro—" He stopped talking and took a good look at me, "why is there some blood stained on your face? Natalia, what happened?" He asked worriedly.
I couldn't hold them in. The emotions, images of him, and the tears came flooding back.
"Sh-Shisui..he.." I sobbed, "he's..." I shook my head, "I can't."
Kakashi's eyes widened immensely and instantly pulled me into his home and shut the door. He picked me up and carried me to the couch.
He held me as he sat down and rubbed my back, "shh, shh. Tell me what happened."
I sniffled and looked him in the eyes, "You have to promise not to tell a single person except the Hokage. No one can know this because it's vital to TBK." His brows furrowed but he nodded.
I sighed and readied myself to tell him, "he co—" I couldn't even finish the word without tears escaping. "Committed suicide."
Kakashi tensed up, and held me back by my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. I could only see fear and worry in him.
"Natalia, did you know it was going to happen?" I nodded, still crying. "And you.. you were there?" I nodded once again.
He then realized something, "the blood." His eyes widened wearily, "did you?"
I merely activated my Mangekyou to answer his question.
"No" He gasped.
I was not expecting what happened next.
Tears filled his eyes (he didn't have his headband on) and he pulled me into a tight embrace. "I never wanted you to experience this kind of pain. This is why you came to me, wasn't it? You knew I'd understand." I just weakly nodded against his chest.
"I won't ask you any questions about it, don't worry. I know you can't tell me, and I don't want you to explain, just let it all out. I'm here for you. No one was there for me, so I'm going to make sure I always am for you. No one should experience this alone." He reassured me.
I silently whimpered, "thank you, Kakashi." He kissed the top of my head as a "you're welcome".
I spent the next 10 minutes doing exactly as he said, I let it all out. I kept muttering things like how Shisui deserved a full life, I didn't know what to do without him, there was no one like him in this world, and I already missed him so much.
Kakashi just listened to me while rubbing my back and resting his chin on the top of my head.
After what I assumed was my eyes running out of tears, I sniffled and finally calmed down.
Kakashi asked me, "do you want me to take you home now?"
"Actually, can I stay with you tonight? I can't go home. They can't find out about Shisui yet because of TBK." I asked.
He nodded, "of course. I want you to know that you are always welcome to stay here when you need it. After all, I did offer for you to live with me before."
I blinked, "Oh yea, I completely forgot about that. But thank you, it means a lot."
He gave me a closed eye smile.
Still holding me, he stood up from the couch, "let's get you cleaned up and into something more comfortable for you to sleep in. It's late and you should sleep." I nodded, and we made our way to the bathroom.
I really did need sleep, I was absolutely exhausted. Not just physically, but mainly emotionally. I had never cried so much in my entire life, and I didn't realize how much of a strain it actually puts on you. I actually felt physically weakened from it.
When we got to the bathroom, I laid eyes on my reflection.
I tensed up as an image of Shisui's face flashed before my eyes. I quickly threw my hands up to cover my eyes and face.
"What's wrong?" Kakashi questioned.
"I-I saw his face. The blood left over on my face reminded me of what his face looked like after he got rid of his eyes. Th-there was blood dripping from where they used to be." I mumbled.
He then sat me down on the counter facing away from the mirror, "there. Just sit and I'll wash your face, you have nothing to worry about." I gave him a small smile in thanks.
He grabbed a small washcloth and ran water over it in the sink, dampening it. He brought up the cloth to my face and gently wiped my face, removing all traces of the blood stains left on my face.
After he was finished, he left to go get me something to wear to sleep.
When he came back he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, "so uhh this was all I could find, you can think of it as a night dress?"
I giggled at the big t-shirt he picked out for me, "it's okay, it looks comfy." He chuckled and nodded.
I was left alone in the bathroom for a bit to change. I hesitantly looked at my reflection, because I didn't want to have some fear of looking in the mirror.
Once I did, I sighed in relief. The blood was gone and there were no images popping up in my mind anymore. Although one thing stood out to me, my eyes. Not my sharingan or anything like that, but how puffy they were.
'This is what it looks like after you cry a lot? I don't like it. And there's so much sadness on my face. How do I get rid of it? Maybe I just need to sleep.' I thought to myself.
I exited the bathroom and went to Kakashi who was in his living room, waiting on his couch for me.
He looked up at me, "okay, how do you do that?"
I tilted my head at him, "huh?"
"How do you manage to look so adorable in a big t-shirt like that?"
I facepalmed and he chuckled.
"Anyways, I have a spare room and you can sleep in there instead of on the couch. Come on, I'll tuck you into bed." He got up and gestured for me to follow him.
When we entered, I immediately crawled into the bed. Kakashi did as he said, and tucked me in.
He kissed my forehead and whispered, "good night. If you need anything don't hesitate to wake me up."
I nodded and he left the room.
It only took less than a minute for me to fall asleep.
Later that night, I shot up from the bed and gasped for air.
I sat there panting and was wide eyed, staring at nothing. I had the worst nightmare ever.
'Why of all things did I have to dream of that?'
I covered my eyes that were beginning to fill up in tears.
'No, it's not real. It's not happening again.'
My nightmare was of Shisui. It just kept replaying and replaying the moment of his death. But every time he was about to fall back, he said to me, "you could have stopped this. You could even prevent all the other deaths to come. But you don't want to save anyone. You're selfish."
Every single time he said this to me. I knew he would never say anything like that, but it just felt so real and I couldn't help but feel so guilty. I COULD have saved him if I broke the stupid rules of my prophecy. I CAN save everyone with my power if it weren't for the stupid rules. But doesn't that make me selfish? I don't even know anymore.
I felt so scared from seeing his death so many times. Why did it have to replay like that? I almost didn't want to go back to sleep. I didn't want to see that. Not again. It felt too real.
I shook my head and lied back down to sleep again, because I knew I needed to sleep.
This didn't work out for me, as I shot back up crying. I saw him again.
"Why do I keep seeing him? He was so bloody.." I mumbled to myself.
I decided I was too scared to sleep, so I got up to go to Kakashi's room.
I slowly opened his door and peeked inside. I silently walked over to his sleeping form and tapped his nose.
His eyes fluttered open, "Natalia?" He sleepily asked. "What is it?"
I sniffled, wiped my tears to the best of my ability, "can I sleep with you? I'm scared. I had nightmares of Shisui."
He sighed, "I had nightmares too, so I understand. And yes, come here." He moved to the side and made a space on his bed for me to lay in. I crawled into his bed and settled close to him.
"Do you want me to hold you?" He asked me. I nodded.
I laid my head on his chest and wrapped an arm around him, while he wrapped his arms around me, making sure he had a secure hold on me.
I instantly felt myself relax. Just like with Shisui, I felt safe with him. But this was different. I don't really know how to explain it. It's like he felt more like a protector, whereas Shisui felt more like someone who I was very comfortable and safe with. With Kakashi, there's really only one way to describe it: he felt like a father. He already started feeling that way a while back, but now, it was more prominent.
I knew he was someone who would take care of me and protect me no matter what. The thought alone brought back some light into my heart and mind.
I quickly fell asleep in his arms.
The next morning I woke up, still in Kakashi's arms and smiled.
"I'm guessing you didn't have any more nightmares." Kakashi chuckled.
I looked up at him, "None. Thank you, you really helped me last night."
He smiled, "you're welcome, I'm glad I helped you a bit. You experienced something that not many would be able to get through."
I didn't feel like talking about him anymore, so I changed the subject, "I think it's funny how we both have beauty marks." (He didn't have his mask on.)
He chuckled, "oh yea? And why's that?"
"Well because you're kinda like my father and it's almost as if I inherited it from you or something. It's like something that connects us." I replied.
He looked taken back, "you really think of me like that?" I nodded making him genuinely smile and kiss me on the top of my head. "I guess that makes you my daughter, huh?"
I smiled, "mhm!" He softly chuckled.
After our little father daughter moment, he decided to make breakfast for the both of us. He asked me what I wanted and said scrambled eggs and toast.
He could tell I was excited to eat that and he questioned me, "you really like the simplest of things, don't you?" I easily nodded. He laughed and got started on making my yummy breakfast.
I don't really know why I like it that much. Auntie Miko always makes such delicious breakfasts, but rarely scrambled eggs and toast, because she says it's too simple. What the heck does that even mean? Ugh she's so extra. But I love that about her. She's helped me make it a habit to put more effort into simple things I normally would do with less effort, like getting ready in the morning. I would usually just do the bare minimum, but now I put more effort into always looking good. Actually the correct word is better, because I always look good, but whatever.
Kakashi had a mission to get to, so he left me to do whatever I wanted in his apartment until I had to leave.
I decided to just study up on some of the scrolls he had. I ended up reading one on yin release. I pretty much never heard anything about it in the anime or manga, besides the fact that it was spiritual energy and is used by the Nara clan for their shadow techniques, so I thought it'd be interesting.
I learned that most genjutsu actually falls under the category of yin release. I'm surprised Kurenai hasn't taught me that, because she must know about that. I then started thinking about the genjutsu she's taught me.
She's actually taught me a lot of different ones. I remember when I first started casting them on her to test them, she always questioned why they were stronger than they were supposed to be when I'd perform them. I reasoned that it must have been because of my strong chakra from the first Hokage, and she seemed to agree with that. Obviously that's not the entire reason why, since my Uchiha genes and the fact that I have a sharingan, is definitely what strengthens my genjutsu.
Once it was the afternoon, I figured the encounter would occur soon, so I left Kakashi's apartment to go to the compound.
Approaching the compound, I shrouded my chakra, since it was a literal blimp and couldn't go unnoticed. The first thing I saw were the three ignorant Uchiha men on the floor. It already started.
I swiftly made my way to the roof of our home, and observed.
Seeing Itachi like this in person was so much more dreadful than I expected..
~A/N~ I cried so much while writing this.
The thing is, when I write I kinda do this thing where I put myself in the place of the main character and I basically act everything out, because it helps me be more descriptive when I write. So like, this is basically like a script for me, and THIS CHAPTER HURT.
Ya'll know that meme of Patrick Star dressed as Pain and he cries out, "SO MUCH PAIN!" ? If you do, yea, that's me right now.
I'm so sad about Shisui's death omg.
I hope you all thought I wrote this chapter well! See ya in the next one..