Life was always hard for Camila, she thought often about why she deserved such a cruel reality when inside she was nothing but genuine and kind? After a while she decided that maybe the world really didn't give a shit, people would take advantage of her and pretend like they knew her soul.. then they'd rip it out and grab her limbs dragging her around as if a product of their mass filled ego..
Lena had always supported her, although not family she was there in those moments of pain.. her parents were always around but they gave her away.. made her live with other families for reasons they'd never made clear? She didn't go to school much, she couldn't handle it.. with the help of her social worker she graduated alone, fixated into her work pretending someone was there.. helping her, caring about her homework and taking interest in her achievements.. in reality she was entirely on her own..
"So you gave her your trust? When you had sex?"
Lena asked forcing the young girl to look down at her sneakers playing with the lace between her finger and thumb.. she found it hard to talk.. she didn't know how to word her emotions before the dreaded anger she had been subject too forced its way into her fragile sensitive mind
"It was just sex, I didn't give her anything of me! I told you that already.."
"No, you told me you didn't talk about trust.. for you to engage in sexual activity willingly there must have been at least a little bit of comfort with Lauren?"
The notion of trusting someone scared Camila, even though last night with Lauren was exciting news she didn't once feel like she trusted her.. she was comfortable and wanting but in no way relaxed enough to say she had her.. it was a tragic realisation in reflection? With every smirking smile hid a pained anxious insecurity driven into her brain like a car into a spot..
"I have rehearsals soon Lena.."
"You will sit here with me until you tell me the truth my child! You know how this works!"
"Bullshit!"
"Attitude!"
Lena snarled slapping her metal pen down into the joining table more than used to the girls problematic behaviour.. she was difficult and short tempered yes.. swore and threw her hands while engaging in activity demanding to diffuse.. Lena never gave up on it however.. she never once let the girl down by saying she couldn't do it.. 23 years later and she was still managing the aftermath of the years worth of trauma her own eyes had witnessed reluctantly
"Now you're going to tell me honestly if this little 'session' last night was carried out against your will, or if it was you giving trust to someone you see everyday.. it is important Camila! I need you to concentrate!"
Camila huffed.. rolled her eyes and grunted like a teenager as she slumped down into her chair to grab for the half drank milkshake between her fingertips, her lips wrapping around the straw taking a hearty sip before locking eyes with the only human to ever stick by her side
"It was consensual and willing Lena! I fucked her! Made her cum on my bed and I loved it! Happy? Is that what you wanna fucking hear right now?"
"Roll back your tongue with me niña! You never have and never will get away with talking to me like that! Do you understand?"
"Whatever!"
Camila snapped
"Karla!"
The woman growled sternly forcing the younger to place her drink back up onto the table, her body sitting up while her elbows lent down against the wood, a single palm running through her hair as if soothing herself enough to calm her temper.. Lena was the only one able to diffuse Camila.. she understood her and had spent years gaining her trust..
"Sorry.."
Lena only nodded back resetting herself to talk
"You are so guarded sweetheart? What you and Lauren have is beautiful? It's a transfer of energies and trust that will help you to learn that not everyone wants to disarm and hurt you?"
"So when she gets bored of me? When she finds some hot new girl that can give her more than I can? What then! Thrown back into the water like a fish!"
"The future is not something we can predict! What we can do however is enjoy the moment.. learn about her and figure out what she likes to do.. eat.. watch on the TV! Social skills Camila.."
Lena noticed the unfixable damage against Camila's heart many years ago, with her parents not wanting to care for her she was left finding families willing to instead.. many were kind at first, optimistic about having a new addition to their family before cluelessly riding out the honeymoon period to then hand notice in for her to leave.. she'd grow attached in the beginning.. make friends and consider the people family.. the more and more she was handed over the less she began to trust.. 'we'll look after you'.. 'we care about you'.. those phrases slowly began to mean nothing!
"She doesn't care about me Lena! She doesn't know me! Why would she care when she could have anyone she wants huh? Any girl any boy! She has billions in her bank account! She could literally buy a sex slave!"
"She will never care if you don't let her Karla.. never know you if you don't let her in.. maybe take down a few of those walls and allow her to have a piece of you, not all of you! Just a piece.. that way you can observe what she does with it.. decide if she's worth the rest?"
Camila paused to think about the statement, giving just a little piece of herself didn't seem so scary.. she thought maybe she'd choose the part she cared of the least, that way when Lauren broke it, it wouldn't hurt so bad..
"I'll think about it"
"Good! Now.. last thing! Have you spoken to your parents since you left?"
"No! My life has nothing to do with them now! That's it.. they can find out in the media or something I don't care!"
She cared.. Camila loved her parents, even when they'd push her away she'd always come back.. run away from care placements just to see if they'd let her stay, every single time Lena would come at their call and rip the girl from their arms.. she never understood why they didn't want her.. it made no sense at all! The day she turned 18 they agreed to house her, knowing no care placement would take her given the age.. she believed they really wanted her.. her father took an interest in her hobbies while her mom defended her behaviours.. it only took a few months for her to realise she was there with their greatest reluctance..
"Well I think that's unfair Camila! We have to give people chances yes?"
"I'd rather not! Living somewhere you know you're not wanted.. you run out of chances pretty quick!"
The girl mumbled stepping out from the diner booth deciding their conversation was over.. Lena never liked to push her, when she was done that was it! She folded her notebook back over placing it inside of her bag before following her out to stand against the dirty glass window.. they looked out upon the city.. admired the passing cars and faces with a silence that lasted a comfortable few moments
"I want you to separate your traumas Camila! Separate Lauren from all of those thoughts you have in your head! Think of her as a blank canvas and let her in for a few moments.. can you do that?"
"I said I'd think about it! I have to go.."
Lena nod back gently pulling the girl in for a hug before watching her walk across the street towards the large building that swallowed her up like an infant in a school.. she cared for the girl.. saw her as one of her favourites given the relationship they'd built.. even after all of this time, Camila never managed to heal..
______
Once inside of the building the girl found herself scrolling through her phone, the walk back to the floor she danced within now second nature in journey leading her eyes not to lift once as she stepped within the elevator.. higher up Lauren sat at her desk with a dancer stood nervously in front of her body.. timid gaze and a trembling tapping hand fearful of the woman who never backed down to explain her discomfort
"This is your final chance Sapphire! One more little outburst and you're out! I will not have you bullying and making rumours about my dancers!"
"But-
"Don't you fucking dare talk back to me right now when I'm telling you how the fuck I expect you to act in my academy! Your behaviour is disgusting! Your attitude and your petty little digs at Camila send me furious beyond belief!"
The woman slammed looking on at the blonde dancer with an eye so intense she almost saw her shake.. Sapphire was entitled and rude.. never taught how to treat another human being while striking a major jealousy at anyone who stepped between her and the admiration she desired from her boss.. Camila got in the way
"That girl is talented and kind! You'd gain more than a fucking stable head by watching and taking note on what she does! Choose your enemies wisely Sapphire! Because with one person comes another in their defence! Are we understood?"
"Yes ma'am!"
The girl stumbled back before following the woman's harshly extended index finger to promptly leave the room.. her eyes catching Camila stood listening on the way out only heightening her blush embarrassed cheeks.. Camila had heard most of the conversation on her journey.. the way Lauren had defended her and spat in her favour.. it felt good? She gently pulled back the door stepping inside only to see the woman sipping back on a full bottle of vodka.. no glass nor cup.. just the blank bottle..
Lauren quickly placed down the liquor taking a deep breath to straighten in her chair as if forcing herself out of her mood to greet the girl in a way that wouldn't cause any unwanted drama.. if she was angry Camila would be too.. at least that's what she thought..
"Seeing her walk out of here followed by you drinking seems kind of fitting.."
The younger spoke with a cautious smile deciding that if she engaged in conversation it would count as an effort to hand over a piece of her soul.. it was a weak effort of course but one the elder gently laughed at as she glanced up to offer a more than gleaming smile
"You gonna judge my morning habits too?"
"No.."
Camila replied softly walking slowly around the room to glance at the various objects dotted across the shelves and tables.. she wanted to get close.. closer.. but her mind kept her distant, standing as far from the woman as possible for a reason she didn't understand
"I like to drink too.. not at 9am but? I guess if it works for you.."
"You like vodka?"
Lauren asked watching as the girl turned slowly on her heels to offer a nervous reserved nod, she only smiled back standing from her chair to venture towards a cabinet pulling out a pink bottle small but rather expensive looking.. she rolled her fingertips over the label before unscrewing the tight hung cap
"It's cherry flavoured.. I don't allow my dancers alcohol while working but if you don't tell I won't.."
She winked handing the bottle gently towards the younger who only took it between her fingers with an examining sweet eye.. she lifted the contents towards her lips smelling the scent before sipping back slowly a large mouthful the elder only laughed at..
"I saw that.. fucker!"
"Your fault.. you gave it to me after I told you I liked to drink!"
Lauren cocked a brow nodding forcing the younger to smile as the relaxed moment shared filled her with a sense of ease.. she didn't have to try to interact it just kind of flowed? The sweet cherry flavour in her mouth now a taste she'd associate with the woman in front..
"Touché! You can keep it.. I have a few! Anyway.. what can I do for you.."
She asked softly walking back to her chair as the younger unexpectedly followed briefly behind before stopping beside the desk realising of the proximity.. she didn't know why she'd come in.. she had nothing to say? Now she felt awkward trying to think up something reasonable but failed instantly when the elder let out a small chuckle
"Come here.."
She motioned turning in her chair with unfolded legs as the girl glanced down to timidly walk in front of her knees.. Lauren noticed the hesitation so decided to reach out grabbing gently at her hips to guide her sideways onto her lap.. a single hand around her waist and a cocked head looking up to meet the darkened brown orbs
"You don't need a reason if that's what that face is worried about.."
"I just heard you talking to Sapphire.. defending me and- for some reason my legs made me come in here.."
She admit relaxing in Lauren's lap as her fingertips tangled between themselves too afraid she'd sounded majorly stupid.. this was hard for her.. talking.. but Lauren could feel the pull.. the tension.. she looked down with a smile spreading her fingers over her back to begin circling scratching lines that sent instant warm shivers deep into the Youngers spine
"That's ok.. I like seeing your face so I'm not complaining.."
"Why.. that's dumb!"
Camila laughed anxiously
"Because you're pretty? Why else.."
"I'm not pretty.. don't say that.. please?"
Her tone was fragile, scared like a puppy.. Lauren didn't want to push it.. instead she nod lifting her other palm up to dance across the Youngers thigh, she'd learnt quickly the girl soothed at physical touch.. gentle embraces and tender strokes..
"There's an advertisement campaign coming up soon, for the academy.. I'd really like it if you'd be a part of it? Extra pay and free outfits, not a gift don't worry. Just part of the package.."
"Oh? Yeah sure.. just tell me where to be and I'll be there!"
The girl smiled back excited the woman had changed topic without even a lick of argument.. the thought of a new project something she could focus on which only left her buzzing with anticipation that her career was beginning to go beyond the polished walls of the academy.. her conversation about letting go with Lena earlier now reluctantly thought to be a success.. she didn't mind this conversation
"Great! I'll print out the itinerary and you can have a look through? No pressure but I need it signed by this evening.."
"You can come and get it from my room if you want?"
Camila invited, her tone not seductive nor dirty.. just.. sweet? Lauren nod back flattening her hand over the girls thigh to pause her relaxing gesture enough to force the brown eyes down into her own..
"I can do that! But right now you need to go and do what I pay you to do.. no fighting.."
"No fighting!"
The girl laughed as she stood from the woman's lap to venture back towards the door, her wrist however caught by the hand below as Lauren stood to simply look at her.. she wanted to tell her she was pretty again.. she knew the girl couldn't handle it.. so instead she lent forwards and pressed a single kiss into her blush caramel cheek..
Camila's jerked back at the motion before smiling gently into the air.. it felt nice.. better than any spoken words the woman could have offered..
________
The end of the day drew near and with one final turn in the mirror, the large clock upon the wall struck 9.. Camila stood taking a deep breath making sure her eyes trained on the girl a few paces behind, now would be the time she'd usually jump in and make a comment.. shove an arm.. she didn't! She only walked on by with a lowered head leaving the room with nothing but a gasping sigh
"Good job today Camila! Your technique is getting better and better everyday!"
"Thanks.. I missed a load of steps though.."
The girl laughed back awkwardly automatically picking out her faults while Emma only sadly lowered her chin, the slow walk towards her gentle but at the same time cautious
"Don't beat yourself up! We learn when we fail.. you'll get there!"
"Doesn't feel like it.. I make the same mistake every time!"
The girl began to anger, her thoughts fixating on those supposedly easy steps, a trigger point for her rage being her own failure.. she stood twisting her foot into the floor not gazing up once as she tried to tame her breath
"Take a breath Camila.. you know when I first started rehearsing like this I made mistakes too.. it's a lot! But your body will get used to it I promise! Give it a few weeks and you'll be bored of trying to perfect everything.."
"If it's not perfect then I don't deserve to be here.."
She sighed lowly.. her chin finally lifting to meet the eyes in front as if challenging the woman's judgment.. Camila always challenged kindness.. reassurance! She didn't mean to but it happened..
"Trust me, you never want to reach perfection! If you do there's nothing left to achieve? So you missed a step or two.. gives you something to work on? You deserve to be here because you're talented Camila! Not because you're a robot.."
"I guess.."
The girl finally smiled subsiding her rage to accept that being perfect maybe wasn't the be all and end all.. she began to walk towards the door insistent on trying out her new bathtub in aims to sooth her hours long aching muscles.. she wasn't sure if those aching muscles were a result of her rehearsals however.. just as she met the door the sweet voice behind echoed a genuine bout of kindness
"Go easy on yourself.."
She smiled again.. leaving the studio to make ways back to her room, with the right key in hand she slipped into the familiar space throwing down her phone against the bed not having opened it in days.. she didn't like notifications.. especially not ones from her father..
Her tired body paced towards the bathroom slipping from her shirt and shorts to flaunt in her pristine black panties and sports bra.. tired legs.. tired feet, a hand swiping up to elicit a stream of hot flowing water while she turned in the mirror to look herself up and down
"I fucking hate you.."
She sighed pulling down her cheek with her fingertips looking on at her eyes before down at her thighs.. she liked her body.. she thought with all the training it looked toned and pristine.. it was the one thing about herself she could bare to look at without growing angered or sad..
After around 3 minutes she removed the remainder of her clothes stepping into the tub with a hearty relaxed sigh.. hot water swarming her aching limbs while the sweet smelling bubble bath ignited her love for flowers.. it still didn't feel real being at the academy.. her life long dream come true rather terrifying as she palmed the bubbles playfully within her caramel fingertips.. the moments of relaxation quickly diminishing however at the sound of a key penetrating her lock..
"Shit.."
"Forgot I was coming?"
"I didn't think you'd be here right now.. I just wanted to relax for a while.."
The girl snarled as Lauren's eyes peered behind the door frame with a half tilted smile..
"Well I'll go if you want? I'll give the ad to someone else huh?"
"NO! Fine.. come in.."
"Thats what I thought!"
She smirked walking confidently into the bathroom holding a single document with bounds of writing plastered front and back.. she perched upon the edge not bothering to look down at the younger now back to popping the bubbles over her knees with the bottoms of her wrists
"The campaign recording starts Thursday at 4, you'll need to be there at 2 for hair and makeup.. rehearsals and routines from 7am.."
"I thought I told you I was relaxing.."
"Stop being so fucking rude? Agree to the terms or I'll find someone else! Simple.."
Camila rolled her eyes at the sound of the paper slamming down into her bosses lap.. glanced up with a sarcastic thumbs up shocked as the woman only stared on with a cocked unhappy brow..
"Use your mouth! Consent is verbal!"
"Ugh fuck! Yes! Ma'am! I agree to your terms.."
"Better! You'll be filming for around 3 hours so make sure you eat before.. I'll be there the whole time to direct so if you need anything you know where to find me"
Lauren continued as she read downwards on the page not caring her dancers was fully naked within the bath.. she was bold like that.. Camila's was cold like that.. she just sat there so exposed mentally she didn't care of what the woman saw..
"I won't need you.."
"Good for you! I'll get a pen and you can sign.."
Lauren huffed leaving the room for a moment to locate the ink happy with herself at the pull back on her questioning.. she discovered the girl to be reacting better now.. conversation flowing rather than stumping at an infuriated altercation.. she knew in her heart she had to be careful, no matter how abrupt and demanding the smaller happened to present.. Soon after she walked back in handing over the pen pointing down at the dotted line Camila quickly signed..
"Ok so we're done.. you can leave now.."
Lauren's POV
Difficult didn't even begin to describe Camila.. any normal person speaking to me in such a way would have a palm around the face and a mouth yelling into their ear., I knew she was different however.. I knew not to react to her blunt attitude as it was only a direct reflection on her trauma I was yet to know of.. she was like a coiled spring held only by a gentle finger.. pull your hand away to quick and you loose her..
"Or I could stay.."
"Or you could go.."
See? She's adorable.. I rolled my eyes folding the document within my palms not speaking another word as I grabbed for the door smirking when the sweet tired voice followed me quickly to pause my motioning hand..
"Where are you going?"
"You wanted me to leave.. so I'm leaving! Make up your mind?"
"You're not even gonna argue with me?"
I'd love too..
"I'm not rising to your conflict Camila.. this is your apartment.. you tell me to leave I will!"
I spoke turning briefly on the spot watching her fold her arms over the edge of the tub throwing her head down against her skin with an aggressive grunt, I could see the mental pull she had.. she didn't want me to leave but her natural reaction was to push me away.. she wanted me to fight back because that was the only thing she was used too.. times were changing!
"Goodbye Camila!"
"No! Just- you can stay.. whatever!"
She huffed.. lifting her head finally from within her arms to awkwardly glance beside me at a spot on the wall I could tell was only there just to stop her having to look at me.. I couldn't help but smile with a shaking head admiring the way she'd kept me standing when in previous I'd probably have walked away anyway.. there was just something about her?
"Wasn't so hard was it?"
"Shut up.."
She growled rolling those big brown eyes now back into the tub as I ventured to perch once again beside her soaked naked body.. I had to admit she really was stunning.. long flowing brown hair damp at the ends while her shoulders dipped half way out of the water with only the bubbles covering her breasts..
"You're just gonna sit and watch me?"
"What would you prefer I do.."
"Not watch me.. it's awkward!"
She struck, the temper I could feel rising meaning I had to change mood.. I placed down the document against the counter before reaching down for the strap of my heels pulling them away to kick across the floor.. she watched me.. soon after I took a hold of my wrist unclasping the expensive watch before pulling at the shoulders of my silky black dress.. her eyes widened realising I wasn't wearing a bra.. my panties now in view sheer and remarkably thin.. she'd never seen me completely naked..
"Shall I continue or is joining you awkward too? You don't talk much so I kind of have to guess.."
"I- Um.."
She stuttered forcing me to laugh as her eyes stuck to my breasts and stomach drinking up the years worth of dancing that had sculpted my muscles into a firm toned stance.. I drew my fingers down taking her silence as an answer slipping my digits beneath my panties to discard them also.. my hand reaching to drag the thick locks of black over my shoulder before stepping into the tub admiring the way she shifted back to let me in..
"See when you talk, shit happens!"
"I don't like talking! You're gonna ruin your makeup anyway.. kind of dumb!"
"Give me your hands"
I spoke ignoring her attitude reaching under the water for her palms before pulling them up towards my face, dragging them over my cheeks.. hot digits and a parted jaw for some reason more cute than sexy?
"Waterproof.. next dig?"
"I wasn't digging.. I was just saying.."
"It's the way you said it Camila! We'd have a much better time together if you just dropped the aggression? Do you not get that?"
Immediately her guard fronted me like a bull, her palms snatching from my own to place against the side of the tub attempting to lift herself out with an agitated grunt stopped only by my hands clasping a hold of her hips to drag her back down into my lap, she gasped landing her fingers over my shoulders while I wrapped my limbs around her lower toned back
"We're not doing that! You can't just run away whenever you get angry.. what did I tell you the other day in my office?"
I spoke pulling her in closer to my body making sure she had no where to go in my embrace.. she looked down at me.. squirmed for a second before relaxing enough to breathe..
"I don't remember!"
She spat
"Yes you do! Come on what did I say.. when you're angry you need to tell me.. you don't have to use words but you can-
"Use my body yeah I know! I'm not fucking dumb!"
"Then do it! Tell me!"
I husked back making direct eye contact with her soul as she relaxed her fingertips over my shoulders.. the closeness of our bodies allowing me to feel her heart beat slow.. calm.. I was new to this empathetic bullshit but I guess with Fallon's advise I wasn't too bad.. soon after she slid her fingertips down over my arms allowing them to fall against my elbows before sinking her eyes down at the bubble free gap between our bodies..
"Camila-
"I'm thinking!"
She snapped quickly.. I could tell that she was.. she only remained staring between our bodies before sucking in a deep trembling breath.. I'd never been with anyone like her.. anyone I'd had to be careful with or considerate of.. I wasn't used to it.. it was easier being a bitch but.. I couldn't do that with her? Not all the time anyway..
After what had felt like a million years of waiting the girl finally decided to move, she glanced up at me lifting her hand to sit just below my chin, her palm dragging up my gaze just to stare back into my eyes.. like she wanted something from me.. like she was asking.. for something?
"Tell me Camila.."
With that statement her entire body sank.. relaxed into my own while her hand guided my lips up and into the crook of her neck.. I took the invitation and placed a single hot kiss against her ear.. dragging back at a speed so slow her body forced its way further forwards.. she wanted more.. I gave her more.. deep hot kisses lapping over her neck while my hands crawled down to grab at her full Cuban ass, the gentle whimpering moan slipping over my eardrums as the water flood around our limbs
I took matters into my own hands figuring what she wanted as I allowed my lips to travel down against her collar bone, over her chest bone and into the flesh of her breasts circling my tongue against her nipple.. a single hand flew up into my hair keeping me where she wanted me with a tilted look down combined with a furrowed pleasured brow..
She reached back for my hand against her ass dragging it tenderly over her thigh before letting go as if telling me to do the rest.. her returning palm linking over my neck as my eyes closed to embrace in the circling over her chest.. she was calm in silence.. I could read her more.. see the way she moved and reacted to my body against her own
"I like that.."
She husked in a low rasping whimper shocking me slightly as for some reason it felt like progress.. we started off enemies.. continued on to dislike each other.. I could tell she didn't like me much but I guess the feeling was mutual.. sex was good.. fucking was better! We'd get to that part soon.. right now I wanted to calm her..
"Good.. then I'll keep doing it.."
I reassured quietly while my floating hand in the water sank to meet her glistening soft folds, she jerked a little but I liked it, it meant whatever this was had worked.. with every lap of my tongue her hand grew tighter, my fingertips below now creating the same motion against her sensitive clit that forced her legs to tremble over my thighs.. she whimpered.. those little.. fucking whimpers..
"Fuck.. uhh Lauren.. k-keep going.."
She mumbled throwing back her head as she ground down against my palm begging almost for more.. I had to admit that reoccurring fantasy returned.. seeing her soaked body above my own.. pushing down against my fingertips.. gripping into my hair.. I liked to think myself a switch.. I liked to be dominated but also liked to dominate.. she was a perfect mixture of both it seemed after last night..
"Fuck me.. fuck me please.."
She growled throwing her hips forwards into my stomach with a parted jaw and pulling grip within my hair.. the way she stuttered on her choking moan.. found ways to ask me things with her hips.. it killed me.. I didn't hesitate to drag two fingers up against her core pushing forwards to enter her body with a rasping heavy yell back in response..
"Like that baby girl?"
"Y-Yes.. fuck! Mmm"
I pressed forwards once more taking up a consistent speed making sure to curl my fingers as I fucked her as she had wanted.. the image of her riding above me only filling my thoughts with even more fantasies.. the same fantasy I'm sure she'd possessed.. thank the lord for those dumb books I guess..
"Ugh fuck! Shit.. harder.. fuck me h-harder.."
She cried now closing her eyes tight while her palm cupped the back of my head sternly.. every press of her hips forcing my fingers deeper as I pushed up harder into her fragile body.. the moans and babbling whimpers sending me too over the edge..
"Cum for me Camila.. ride my fucking hand like that.."
"Fuck.. yes.. holy shit!"
She almost screamed sinking harder onto my palm as her body began to tense.. she didn't tell me she was falling apart but I'd be dumb not to feel it.. the way her forehead fell down into my own.. her hands scratching and digging into my body.. she was there..
It didn't take long for the high to soothe as I retracted my fingers to pull her lazy hips back into my stomach.. the look of pure relief plastered over face as she sat in silence with her forehead still pressed against my own.. I didn't feel much to be honest.. but when she opened her eyes to look back into my own?
I felt everything..