Tengen never thought he'd say it, but he kind of hates being single at the moment.
It was something he never in his lifetime imagined he'd be feeling, but sitting in front of all his friends, who now are all conveniently dating, he suddenly feels extremely left out.
Before it was easier, since the only two who were bumping uglies and being extremely open about it were Obanai and Mitsuri, but now Tengen found himself in a sea of lovesick fools. He wonders maybe if he's just skipped this lunch, had instead gone about his morning instead of heading to where Mitsuri told him everyone was meeting for lunch.
He had been, as always, the first to arrive, and so he did what he always did. Go inside whatever rundown local haunt they were meeting at this time, sit, and wait for his boring and rather unflamboyant friends to arrive.
They were always so predictable, or so he thought, and he always knew who would show up when. The first pair was Mitsuri and Obanai just as predicted. Obanai had a kink for being on time, and while they were always a few minutes late because of Mitsuri, they were always second to get there besides Tengen himself.
Next was always Kyojuro, which was usually his saving grace. Kyojuro Rengoku, his best friend since middle school and who he liked to call his platonic soulmate. He knew they were destined to stay friends forever, and he also loves being around him. At the sight of his flamboyant hair and wide smile, Tengen always finds himself perking up, his stomach turning excitedly at the sight of him.
Tengen gets lost in their conversation, almost so much so he barely even notices when his next prediction arrives. Of course it's Sanemi, though curiously today he had someone new with him. And that's when the trouble began.
Tomioka sat perched on the back of grouchy friends motorcycle as they pulled up in the parking lot in front of the diner, visible through the front windows, and as Sanemi shut off his bike and the two got up, Tengen noticed Tomioka wearing both Sanemi's jacket and sweatshirt underneath.
Mitsuri gasped from where she sat in front of him at the sight, all four of them noting the two holding hands as they walked into the diner with big smiles on their faces, laughing secretly to one another.
Tengen was pleasantly surprised as he watched Sanemi kiss the back of Tomioka's hand, and he smirked at them as they walked up. They were barely paying attention to anyone but themselves, clearly in a honeymoon stage after all of their useless pining that everyone had tried desperately to ignore all the time.
Quite frankly, it was exhausting, and just for the pleasure of releasing Tengen from his torture he decides to spare them the teasing, at least for the time being.
Of course, Mitsuri is all over them as soon as they sit down, mouth running a mile a minute. Tengen listens as they tell the harrowing tale of their whirlwind romance, snickering and bumping Kyo's shoulder as Mitsuri pouts at Obanai for not telling her what he knew sooner.
Of course the final three(or Tengen supposes it's two now) to arrive are Urokodaki and Kocho. Tengen isn't expecting much when he sees them besides the both of them acting like their normal, tense selves, but his world is throw off orbit when they walk in and Urokodaki has an arm thrown over Kocho's shoulder, nuzzling his nose in her hair while she tries to bat him away playfully, waving casually at Mitsuri.
The shriek Mitsuri let out was almost unholy.
And now he's here, sitting around a table of friends and listening to the flamboyant tales of heartbreak and romance from the four most dramatic people he's ever met. And he's met himself.
Urokodaki smirks across the table, his arm wrapped around the back of Kocho's seat as he raises a brow at Tomioka, motioning to the window beside them and out at Sanemi's motorcycle.
"Guess you won't be needing a ride from me and Shinobu anymore huh?" He teases, and Tomioka flushes, nodding and giggling into his palm. Tengen watches Sanemi shift across from him him, a prideful expression painting his features as he puffs up his chest.
"No, I think I've got that covered for now." Tomioka jokes back, and Urokodaki snickers, leaning closer to Kocho and squishing his cheek against hers despite her verbal protests.
"Better for us! That just means we can get it on in the caaaaa- OW!" He yelps, his sentence cutting off as Kocho pinches his thigh under the table, her smile full of malice.
"Ignore everything he says, he's clinically stupid." She says, and Urokodaki gasps, to which she ignores. Mitsuri laughs at the display, putting her hands together and squealing. "Embarrassed Shinobu is so cute!"
"Hey! She's my soulmate, no tradsise's!" Urokodaki shouts, pointing an accusing finger at Mitsuri and hugging Kocho close to his chest. Obanai glares at him, but he glares back, and Kocho sighs and pushes him off.
Tengen rolls his eyes at the display, gagging to himself. Of all the people, he'd never expected Urokodaki to settle down, especially with Kocho of all women. Not that Kocho wasn't attractive in her own unique Kocho way, but he would've never guessed Urokodaki had a thing for being bred. Though, he guesses it does suit them in their own odd way, though he couldn't imagine himself ever dating his best friend.
Looking next to him, he studies Kyojuro as he talks happily with Mitsuri, stuffing his face with rice. Tengen has to admit, his best friend sure is pretty, but he's always thought that. They've been together for years, since they were punk kids getting sent to the back of the class for being too disruptive.
Kyojuro's always been pretty. With his long lashes and his bright and colorful hair, he's got a smile that lights up a room. Tengen's always liked looking at him, who can turn down free eye candy, especially if they're your best friend?
Well, that's what he tells himself anyway. Realistically he knows thinking your best friend is hot is a pretty weird thing, and he'd definitely be lying if he said he hadn't had a few not so safe for work thoughts about the man, but he blames it on his overly high libido and extreme lack of boundaries.
He knows he can't fuck his best friend even if he wanted to, so he's never taken the leap. Sure Kyojuro is pretty but sex with a pretty person isn't enough of a motivator to ruin a decade old friendship.
He's got some shame, though Obanai would definitely disagree.
And besides, he thinks all of his friends are hot, he'd smash any of them given the chance, though Sanemi'd be a bitch in bed, so he's lucky the man is taken.
The point is, Tengen doesn't think it's weird to be sexually attracted to attractive people is all, but it's weirder with Kyojuro. He chalks it up to them being as close as they are, shaking his head to himself and going back to his food, tuning back into the conversation as Sanemi and Urokodaki argue about who's the better boyfriend when it's clear to everyone in the room the answer is Obanai.
•••
By the time lunch is over, Tengen doesn't know if he's absolutely sick of or wishing for romance. Sanemi and Tomioka could barely contain themselves the entire lunch and before they had even gotten the bill they slapped down their share of the meal and practically sprinted for Sanemi's motorcycle, clearly still strung up on their honeymoon part of the honeymoon phase.
Urokodaki and Kocho were not so obvious, though they were definitely displeased when Mitsuri insisted they go on a shopping double date after they finished their meals.
At the end of it all, Tengen was left with just himself and Kyojuro, who was finishing off his third plate.
"Hey Kyo, after this let's go back to my place and watch movies. There's a new action romcom I wanna watch." He says, and Kyojuro smiles up at him, gulping down the food in his mouth to speak.
"Of course!" He yells happily, and Tengen feels his stomach clench excitedly.
Kyojuro ends up ordering one more meal to go, and since Kyo took the bus they take Tengen's van to the drive through McDonald's on the way home for large milkshakes.
By the time they get to Tengen's apartment, their bellies are barely full and they decide they can day drink for once. Tengen pops open two cans of his finest beer and they mix them into their milkshakes, laying on top of each other on the couch to watch the shitty new C list movie Tengen found.
It's boring, and the beer is strong, and half way through Tengen notices Kyojuro has fallen asleep next to him, his legs hanging over the back of the couch to make room for Tengen.
The most brilliant of all brilliant ideas pops into Tengen's head, and he giggles as he slides off the couch, crawling to his coffee table and grabbing the lone pen laying among his many school papers. He carefully clicks it open, careful not to wake his best friend up, and shuffles back towards him.
He pushes his hair off his forehead, giggling to himself as he begins drawing dicks all over his face. His own face tingles as he does, but he chalks it up to the beer in his veins, and he continues doodling on his face, running a line on his lips and coloring in Kyo's eyebags.
Kyojuro twitches and groans but never fully wakes, and eventually Tengen can't handle the tingling in his face and the pressure in his groin. He's got to pee, and badly.
Heaving, he lifts himself on to his feet and drags his way to the bathroom. He's not drunk, more tired than anything, and the beer has definitely made him sleepy. He scratches his cheek, feeling an unfamiliar itch, and as he opens his bathroom door and comes face to face with the mirror he almost falls back in shock.
His own face stares back at him, yet it's covered in smudged ink and crudely draw penis's. His eyes are filled in, making him look like a raccoon, and he immediately recognizes the pattern.
His vision swims and he stumbles forward, gripping the sides of the sink so tightly his knuckles begin to go white.
He hastily turns on the facet and washes his face, scrubbing it roughly to rid himself of the pen, and as he does he thinks about what the hell he should do. He stands over the sink, his face wet and breathing heavily as he stares at his reflection.
His soulmate is his best friend? Does Kyojuro know? What does that even mean?
A million thoughts run through his head, but he freezes as he hears Rengoku groaning in the living room, seemingly waking up from his nap. Tengen doesn't even think, he just rushes out of the bathroom and into the living room, standing over the couch and scaring a half asleep Kyojuro.
"Tengen?" He asks sleepily, and it's pretty cute, but Tengen can barely focus on that.
"You're my soulmate." He says simply, and Kyojuro's eyes go wider, wider than normal
They both stare at each other, the air static and their breathing quiet, before Kyo's face grows red, Tengen's eyes immediately shooting down to see the color of it light up his best friends tan skin.
He gulps. He'd never thought of Kyo romantically, hell he thought he'd be dating around for life, but as he watches his friends Adam's apple bob and his pretty face light up with the color to match his eyes, Tengen suddenly sees him very, very differently.
"So-" He starts, and Kyo doesn't move, still as a statue. "Uh-" He has no clue what to say, so he doesn't say anything. He shuts his mouth quickly, his teeth clinking uncomfortably together. He feels sweat begin to gather at his brow, and he barely even realizes it when he leans down and smushes his lips against Kyo's quickly, leaning back up just as fast when he realizes what he's done.
Kyojuro is somehow even redder than before, his hands flying up to hide his face, and Tengen lets out a guttural noise, bumbling his words as he struggles to find something to say.
"I'm sorry I just thought-"
"It's fine don't worry about it please." Kyojuro mumbles from behind his hands, and Tengen furrows his brow as Kyo tries to brush it off.
"I mean I didn't hate it or anything but-"
"Shut up Tengen oh my god-"
"I'm serious!" Tengen shouts, surprising himself and Kyojuro. Kyo peaks through a gap in his fingers, and Tengen can see him searching for something. His body is shaking slightly on the couch, his forehead still covered in permanent marker dicks. His eyes sparkle with wet unshed tears, and he looks utterly embarrassed.
Tengen doesn't think he's ever seen a sight as beautiful as Kyojuro in this moment, and he sucks in a sharp breath as he realizes how close their faces still are.
He should probably say something, try to brush it off to make it easier for the both of them, but instead he leans down again and kisses the back of Kyo's hand, a shuddering breath escaping his throat as Kyojuro whimpers slightly below him.
"I didn't hate it." He reiterates when he leans back up, refusing to look away from Kyojuro's face. "I actually kind of want to do it again." He adds, and Kyojuro gasps silently, his hands falling away from his face. His cheeks are bright red, his lips wet and being teased between his teeth. He's sweating, the permanent marker on him smudging as he moves his hands, and he nods just slightly enough that Tengen can see the movement.
Gulping, his Adam's apple bobs, and Tengen feels an intense urge to kiss him there.
"Ok." Kyojuro manages to say, his voice shaky. "But you need to take me out for coffee after."
"Fucking deal." Tengen breathes, crashing his lips back down onto Kyojuro's and wrapping him up in his arms, picking him up and carrying him towards his bedroom.