"So."
"So."
"So," I sighed, joining the chorus of awkward sentence starters that went nowhere except through uncomfortable minds. My knees were jumping with nerves, and my fingers played with each other, pinched in my lap and picking at my nails.
"So," Steve said sharply, tossing his arm over the back of the couch and playing with the ends of my hair. "Tony, how have you been? I bet Malibu is nice this time of year."
Tony hummed absentmindedly as he watched Ves and Aurora played tug-of-war with a rope. They playfully snarled at each other, and their nails clicked on the hardwood whenever they would try to snatch the toy away.
I felt his uneasiness, though, Tony would never outwardly show that. He was too proud. Too afraid to let his image shatter.
"How about you?" Tony asked, letting his eyes finally drift to the rest of us. "You all seem to be doing fine without me."
"We are doing fine, thanks," Nat said coolly. She smiled at him and stuck her hand out for Sidus to brush his cheek along. "But, we'd be doing better if all of us could stop pretending we aren't friends."
Tony laughed bitterly and knocked back his bottle of beer. "Isn't it a bit ironic?" He asked. "Cap said we'd do this shit together and then he ditches us for memories put in his head by that little witch? And not just us, but his fucking fiancés too, and we're just all okay with this now?"
His anger echoed in my ears when the room grew silent. Steve's head fell to his lap, and his thoughts poured out like a great flood. Remorse and guilt beyond belief.
"We've moved past it," Bucky said solemnly. I caught the tremble of his voice. The edge of sadness and anger like a blade unsheathing. "It was never about you, Stark. Not everything on this fucking planet is about you. Stop taking our issue and making it about you. We're happy now," he growled, standing and towering over Tony, "so either stop wallowing in your own self-pity or just leave."
Bucky stormed away and left through the back door. The air was tense with the static of his divinity. Unsurity and anxiety rippled through me. The aftereffects of his own thoughts.
"Excuse me," Steve mumbled softly as he stood and followed Bucky.
I watched the light in the windows change. We weren't in our Parisian flat anymore; we were on the island. Clean white light filtered through the curtains as we sat before the fireplace. I stared at the dead embers, unmoving and silent as the others sighed and shuffled anxiously.
"You're horrible," I said plainly. I felt eyes move to me. Tension grew as Tony's eyes flickered to me. My anger swelled at the flippant quirk of his eyebrows. "We asked you to come here to repair our friendship. To go back to what we once were. You're the only one here still groveling."
"It actually seems like I'm the only one here with any self respect."
"Tony," Thor warned.
But it was too late.
Fury burned through me, and in my blind rage I stood and dipped my face close to his.
"Oh, go fuck yourself, Tony," I shouted at the top of my lungs. "You're actually the only fucking person here too self absorbed to give a shit about anyone beside yourself. You can't accept that the rest of us have moved on and repaired our relationships because it doesn't revolve around you.
"You can't stand the fact that we moved on without you while you wallowed in Malibu in your billion dollar mansion. You can't stand the fact that Steve is the glue that holds us all together, not you. So when he left, the team fell apart, and you felt useless. That's why you're still pissed. Because you are fucking useless."
Tony's hands pushed me away from him, but I was also pulled away by Nat and Loki. Thor and Sam held back Tony as Bruce rushed out the back door presumably to find Steve and Bucky.
"You know what, North Star? You know who is fucking useless? You and your fucking brainwashed husband that abandoned the rest of us to live in your fucking fantasy world," Tony yelled. "Are you happy? Are you fucking happy now? Finally got what you wanted? Got your memories, so you don't need us anymore? All you need is your fucking memories and dick, so you're happy now, hm?"
"Fuck you," I screamed, ripping out of Loki's arms and past Nat's hands that shielded me back. "I walked through hell for them, and I'll be damned if I let you speak about me and my husbands that way in my own fucking house."
He tried to pull away from Thor, but he was held firmly away from me as I advanced across the sitting space. Sam stepped between us, "Hey, relax, please. This isn't productive."
"Move."
"Stel-"
"Move."
"What are you going to do, witch? Big, bad goddess wants to kidnap another mortal for her collection?" Tony mocked from behind Sam.
My magic gently moved him to the side, and I violently pulled Tony from Thor's grasp, flinging him over the back of the couch and against the wall.
Loki stepped in front of me, holding my waist just as the back door opened and slammed shut and my boys walked in. I stared at Loki for a while. His face seemed unreadable.
He is out of line, but hear his pain, goddess. By fighting with him, you are doing yourself no favors. Forget him.
He insulted me in my own home. Mortals have been killed for less.
Not by you.
"What did you say to her?" Bucky said lowly. He was glaring at Tony on the ground as Bruce sighed and helped him stand.
Tony laughed and dusted himself off. "Only the truth that the rest of you are too infatuated to see." He huffed and looked over at me, eyes narrow and still filled with anger. "Just because you've probably used some magic trick to fool everyone into seeing the world as rainbows and unicorns so you can live out your little delusions doesn't mean the rest of us can't still be pissed."
"Enough," Loki snapped. "She has done no such thing. You are simply too prideful to accept that other people have struggles and hardships that can and will affect you, but they have nothing to do with you. The rest of us see that. The rest of us have adapted to this life."
"Stark, truly, we asked you to come here to reconnect. This is not what we wanted," Thor said softly. Ever the diplomat. "Please, for one, let down your shield and have a seat."
"She attacked me."
"You insulted her," Loki said quickly. "And it was within her right to do far worse. You are lucky her father did not drag you to the Underworld himself."
Tony scoffed and yanked away from Bruce. Aurora and Ves watched him walk to the kitchen island and take a seat in a barstool. "So this is it, hm?" He laughed. "You're all wrapped around her finger so tight that you can't see they are the ones pulling the team apart?"
"I think you did that by creating a murder bot," Bruce said simply.
"I was trying to protect everyone," Tony shouted again. "And I don't think you were completely innocent in that endeavor either, Green Giant. Pretty sure you're just too afraid of your boy toy and the devil's daughter to do anything but roll over."
"Stark," Thor bellowed, "I have had quite enough of this. If you cannot accept that we wished to repair our relationship and stop living in the past, then you will have to leave."
Tony chuckled to himself and stood. "Don't ask me for shit," he said simply as he brushed through us and out the door to the compound. The windows dimmed and relit as he left.
The room was silent. I swore I heard the breeze outside, ruffling through herbs and flowers. The roll of ocean waves. Ravens hopping across fence posts. Alpine gently snoring on the back of the couch.
Bucky walked over to me and gathered me in his arms, hugging and swaying me gently.
"Well," Loki drawled, "how eventful. Wine?"
I laughed, forcing down the stinging heat that welled in my eyes. He had been so cruel. So unlike I had ever known him.
Memories I wished Tony would see flooded through me. The firm yet gentle advice he would give. Nicknames and jokes at every possible moment. Walking me down the aisle and letting tears fall across his cheeks.
Sadness washed over me at the craving for our old lives back. The team. The Avengers. The family. Even SHIELD and all its protocols and agents. I missed all of it.
I sobbed in Bucky's arms. He held me close to his chest, to his hammering heart that beat like a drum in my ears. Gently, he hushed me, whispering soft and sweet love into my ears as I felt Steve also crowd around us.
"He's fighting his own demons," Steve said slowly. "Give him space. We'll take our own step back. We have each other, and that's what is most important to me."
"His thoughts were in anguish," Loki said carefully. "He was not himself. He was blinded by hurt and anger. After some time, I am sure he will recollect himself."
I knew he would. As he left, I could feel the flip of a switch in his mind. Wishing he had not been so harsh that he had not gotten defensive.
Pepper would be furious. She had been so happy when we invited Tony over. Her voice had risen and was elated with bubbly excitement.
Yet here we were. Still broken and depressed. Seems like that's all we would ever be at the end of the day.