It was hard to even consider a life outside of the hotel room, Alex had tried to comfort Ari, tried everything is his power to make her feel something. Even anger would have been better than the silence she was torturing him with.
"I'm going to tell you a story and i want you to listen" He whispered into her hair. Her only reaction was a small nod of her head. Despite having her tucked into his side and head on his chest, despite having her so close, she was so far away. Somewhere else, reliving everything he hadn't been able to save her from.
**
Do you remember the year we want to Flordia, Christian got food poisening and he was trying to force us to stay home with him? I took you to the beach, your parents had been arguing so much recently and i wanted to take your mind off everything. You looked so beautiful, I still remember than light blue black bikini you wore. You were tanned from that spray tan you tried to convince us with as real, but it just made you more beautiful, brought out those amazing green eyes of yours and just made your hair look even more sunkissed. You laid next to me on the beach all day hadly talking, until you rolled over, looked up at me and said..
"Alex, i think my backs burning"
You knew it wasn't the spray tan was protecting your skin from the heat and you'd been creaming every half hour since we'd got there. I over-thought that moment so many times after. You curled in next to me and you unstrapped your top and said
"Are you just going to sit there staring Mr Blake?"
You had this flirty tone and i wanted more than anything to just spank you then and there, even without Christian... i just wanted you for me. and i did. I never told him that. I creamed your back and then you turned over topless and told me not to forget your front. I'm surprised you missed the hard on in my shorts. I think i might have cum to be honest. i twisting my fingers around your nipples and creamed them.. the whole time i did i felt guility. Guilty for touching the love of my life. And you are that Bella, you're the love of my life. There is nothing if there isn't a you in my life.
Touching you in the sea that day, with the sun beating down on me, it was my perfect. You are my perfect.
"I'm broken. I'm no-ones perfect. You'd be better off without me"
The sound of her voice stopped Alex in his tracks. How could she believe that? She was most beautiful person inside and out. Surely she had to understand and see what everyone else saw in her.
"You are my perfect"
"Our perfect" Christian's voice was something above a whisper and both Alex and Ari jumped at the sound.
"You can't love me, i won't let you" The sound of her broken soul, broke something in both of the men. They both made movements to embrace her. Despite knowing that after the rape she probably wouldn't want to be touched. The boys knew she needed some sort of support, especially physically.
"You are ours. My life, my other half.. our everything" Christian rarely opened up like this, but he knew if there was ever a time to lay his heart of the table it was now.
"He raped me, raped me like before. I didn't want it i didn't but it's all my fault. Don't you understand? this sort of thing, i bring it on myself and i always will." Ari was shaking with crying. The men could do nothing but embrace her and kiss her and whisper no over and over.
"This wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. We pushed you to run, we weren't there to protect you. To protect the most important thing in our life"
"I'm just going to hurt you" Her voice and words cut them, but they knew she was trying to push them away
"Maybe, but you'll always love us. Life isn't rainbows and butterflies. We will argue and disagree but that doesn't take away from out much we all love each other and how much we all need each other. You're a silly girl if you think for one second we wouldn't want you or don't want you. It wasn't your fault and he'll never hurt you again"
"No Christian what did you do?"
"I did what had to be done"
"I don't want you to live with that?"
"Live with what? doing the right thing" Ari didn't say anything after that for a while.
"I want to go home, please... take me home"